Based on the comments I read after posting chapter 10, I decide to clear a few things up.

First and foremost, Yunho is ed up. I don’t know if you guys somehow someway got lost in the and fluff and forgot that but he is in no way stable. In fact in my mind, he’s less stable than Jaejoong only it doesn’t seem that way because he is better at concealing it. I’m not saying he’s a bad guy and I don’t mean for him to be but a lot of traumatic happened to him; that he never fully dealt with. I as the author created him yes, but I also as a story teller refuse to make lite of his past and how it still affects him to this day.

Also he’s a total sadist so…

In truth, that scene was a lot tamer when I first wrote it. It was like a page and a half and I was so very close to just posting but it just didn’t feel right. So I scraped it, found some up music on 8tracts and went to town.

Then I cut a lot of out because even my muse was starting to judge me.

The point I’m trying to make here is, Yunho lost everything at very young age. His sister killed his parents, then later on was committed, his aunt committed suicide (I didn’t write that but it happened in a free write I did a while back), and he lost a lot of friends due to the anger issues he developed. To top it all off he never got the help he needed to deal and grieve. It is because of all that he became very cold and stopped caring.

That is until he met Jaejoong.
Who became his everything.

So we have a completely unstable man, in a relationship that keeps him stable and regain some sense of normality, and then someone comes along and wants to take that from him? Can you really blame him for losing it?

To make matters worse his everything went through twice the amount of pain and torment he did and all he could and can do is be there and hold his hand through it. Until now there was nothing he could do stop or avenge what Jaejoong had and is dealing with. Remember how he kept apologizing to Kangin, say how he was going to have to pay for everything he did along with the sins of others? It’s because for Yunho, Kangin represent all those people who ever hurt Jaejoong in the past. He became his mother, his father, his sisters, the bullies at school, everyone and everything that made Jaejoong’s life a living hell. And because Yunho has so much pent up frustration from having to take a backseat to Jaejoong’s pain for so many years, this was the outcome.

I’ll admit, even I think this was too much but I’m not sorry. I’m not going to cheapen the pain and torment of one of my characters just because the truth might make people a little uncomfortable. I just can’t do that. If anything I am terribly sorry that I didn’t convey all of this properly to you guys. That vexes me more than I can ever explain. Maybe one day I’ll go back and re-write all of this when I have the skillset and time but for now, this is where I’m going to leave it. (This isn’t the end by the way, I just mean I’m not going to edit it anytime soon).

If you read this far thank you so much enduring my rant and I do deeply apologize if I sound defensive or hurt, I’m really not haha. I’m just a little ticked at myself. Some many people were so surprised about what happened but in my head, it made complete and total sense. Yunho is a deeply disturbed man who really needs a hug. Luckily, Jaejoong is more than willing to cuddle up to the big scary monster.

Not too long ago, a fan reminded me of the vow Yunho made to Jaejoong the night he collard him. I’m still kind of shocked I wrote something so pretty haha but they hold a lot significates for Yunho.

I promise I will protect you and guide you and help you as you have helped me. And together we will grow into better versions of ourselves and the best versions for each other.

Jaejoong restored his faith in love and life; he gave him a purpose and a reason. Now Yunho’s just returning the favor and protecting that which was given to him.

Hope that clears things up and makes you love our daddy Yunnie again. Jaejoong still does :]