It has been a while... well it has been way too long.

I'm not well

actually I am, i'm phisically fine and , but i'm always very annoyed and very stressed.

Since I've started putting effort on a fb page I have with my colleagues (that i linked to you other times too) I've been busy in a weird way. I think about only that and do nothing the whole day. I hate beign like this because writing and beign with you guys and followign kpop gave me way more happiness and peace of heart than this thing has been giving me the past months. It makes me nervous and very sad most fo the days and I can't control it the way I want.

Why not stopping?

Well I'm not a quitter, I HATE quitting things especially when i kinda like the most part fo them. I like creating pictures, I like writing articles, and I'd love for others to appreciate my work...even if it's not a job and no one is paying me for the effort I put in it.

Still what about me? What about my passions and my dreams?

It has been quite the ed up period. I've lost an uncle that was ill, but we weren't expecting it, and my dad had gone through a strong therapy in the hospital, so he has been closed there in isolation for almost 3 weeks already. My nerves are breaking down every day more and I desperately need my hide out in here...yet I fear I'm not able anymore to come back.

I miss my internet friends, i've been in touch with only one person because she (my dear) writes to me every day even if I'm not a good friend and I don't talk much lately. But hey write to me ok? Even if I don't, it's because I'm sad and lonely and when I'm like this I end up closing up again. It's not that I don't want to talk to you or something. I'm not as much around because this (ing April) month I don't even have my phone...the old one I'm using is so slow I can't even write texts properly so I fail to enter here and on twitter like I did before.

I spend my days in front of my pc screen, like a zombie... I have no idea what happened lately in the kpop world, and it because I can't recognize myself in this shell I've become.

Know that I haven't forgotten about you, please...

I want to write

I'll try to...

meanwhile if you wnat to make me at least one bit happy could you please take a look at this blog : https://carlofelice131.wordpress.com/ . I'm mostly the one that modifys it and there are few articles written by me (well english parts are mostly mine anyway)... it would be nice if some of you could tell me what you think about them since basically no one seems to read them anyway.

It is about my Land, somehow I tell myself that someone out there could be interested in this place, but I guess I'm mostly wrong

thanks to the kind hearts that decided to read this till the end.

I love you and I miss you to the point i'm about to cry writing this post.

hugs

Maria

♥