do you remember how we first met? because i clearly remember it as if it was just yesterday, it felt like last year was going by so fast like everything was going to fast for me. it feels so hard to even write this to you, after what we just went to not so long ago...that fight we had. god i could have never imaging us fighting like that but i guess we ended up doing that...anyways lets just get straight to the letter i'm trying to write without crying as i start to pull up old memories from the past. 

remember the first day i came to that roleplay? bestie the roleplay where me, you, krystal, kris, kyungsoo, hyeri all met. damn was the roleplay like my damn family. through thick n thin we went through a lot of things together, the day i came you were one of the people i started talking to then later on i guess we started talking more and bam! suddenly we became the teehee girls with hyeri and the bae & bar girls too. wasn't our word much better than the word bar? /laughs softly. then we had our moments where we could just casually spazz over whoever or probably start shipping me with kyungsoo which was hella funny since me and him ended up liking each other in the end. 

if i had to be honest i wasn't sure if we were going to be the best of friends or if you were going to be important to me...but was i wrong when you ended up being really important to me. when i had my troubles in ooc you were always there for me, you understood me like no other. sometimes we can't always give the best advice but it felt nice to know you were at least there to listen to me when i needed someone the most. we had each others back, we made each other laugh at each and every end of the day if it was good or bad. those were the best type of days when i was with you. 

then there were those times we just were on straight up crack or probably joining another roleplay together with our friends again. moving our relationship from rp to rp was also another thing i loved on how our relationship with people were actually strong and trustworthy. also in each roleplay i think i  at least wrote a lot of letters to you, probably a poem to, spamming you with endless gifs and quotes about our friendship about how it will last forever or simply spamming you telling you random things about my daily life or bringing up funny screenshots of our past conversations. 

those were the days i wish i could just go back to, not having to go through any tough patches in our life, living a happy and free life. spending time with the people we love and care for even though if i did turn back time to that time and place everything would still be the same. us fighting about something and ending up not being friends anymore. i honestly thought our forever was going to last but then again in some cases not everyone forevers will last. 

which makes me sad to know about that because i- i just really miss you and i feel so guilty for lashing out on you with all my words that honestly meant nothing. i was just mad at that time because i do understand you, i really do but when i try to be there for you all you do is push me away with your cold replies which really hurt me. why do you think i was with my other friend trying to be happy? did you actually think i was happy during that time? no i wasn't, i was hurt because i didn't have my one and only true friend next to me to enjoy those moments of happiness. 

i know you two may have a past but the past is the past, we need to move on from that and start new with new friends, new family. yeah maybe we don't have to forget the past but probably look back at it just once in awhile to remember what our friendship use to be with our old friends also learn from it just to make our friendship even better than before. stop with the fighting, stop with being cold and stop with just everything. 

i know this might not be enough for you to understand what i'm trying to say so i'll just go straight to the point: i miss you, i really do and i still love you with all my heart and you know thats a lot for loving just one person. do you not know how much i miss spazzing with you? how much i miss talking about random crack videos to? how much i miss spamming someone with my endless quotes, talking about my daily things with you and you updating about your life because i just love to get to know whats happening in your real life and also in your ic life of course <3

i'm so so so sorry for everything i ever did to you....i'm truly am so heres just a few memories im bringing back up just to remind you of our friendship again.