I Need Advise...

Please read till the end, I would love to hear everyone`s advice and comment, I really need it right now... :(

So I don`t know if all of you know this, but I am currently a senior in high school. I have changed schools both freshman and sophomore year. And then junior year my family and I moved. So another year at a new high school. But to be hones I wasn`t worried, because my first two years were a blast. But then...
 

So I actually tried to blend in with my childhood friend`s group. Because when I was in the 7th grade, that is when my friend moved, and part of the reason I am attending the high school I do, is because I wanted to be with her again , I mean we were really close before so I thought we would still be also. Because to be honest I never changed, I am still the same person I was in elementary school, but I guess I forgot that people can change, which my friend did too much. She was and is now a person who gives off attitude, thinks she is all that matters and others don`t mean . I am not kidding, that is how she is now, selfish and mean. And I hate saying this about her because we were best friends and I thought of her like my very own sister. but I didn`t like her behavior. I couldn`t tell anyone how I felt or how alone I was, because I was still new. 

 

Then this one girl from my friends group starts to come to me and tries to make me feel happy and at ease, like when I was alone, or upset she would come to me and cheer me up. I began to trust her already, but that seemed to be my mistake. Since I trusted her, I sometimes told her things like how I don`t like my childhood friend anymore and how her behavior annoys me and mean she is. I wasn`t afraid to tell the girl I trusted how I felt because like I said I trusted her. But then one day, she goes to my childhood friend and tell her everything I said about her. After that everyone here treats me worst then worst. Sometimes it gets so lonely I wish I didn`t even go to this stupid school. :(

 

I even said sorry, and everyone deserves another chance, but I guess I didn`t deserve one in their eyes. Now every time they would see me in the hallway, I would smile at them, and they would just turn their backs on me. 

 

They would plan days to hangout without ever informing or even inviting me and then later purposely snap chat me everything all the fun they are having. 

 

I have gym with all of them too, and they all would stick with each other ignoring me, I used to talk to this girl in gym so I wouldn`t be alone, but then they started calling her over and made sure I was alone. 

 

At lunch they always stick together get each other food and laugh and everything. This one time I was really hungry because I was late already and couldn`t have breakfast and then my lunch isn`t until 12:15. So from 7:30-12:15 I didn`t eat anything and I was really hungry. My childhood friend, had money and one of her other friends asked her to her food because she was hungry and my childhood friend instantly said okay. Then I don`t know later, she changed her mind or something, I was getting a headache from the empty stomach, so I ask my childhood friend if she could get me something, because I was really hungry. At first she hesitated and then said okay. Then we got to the cafeteria, she said, "you know what, I really don`t feel like getting anything..." And with that she just leaves :(

 

Then one day I had a fever of 103.7, this is true and I couldn`t even get up, my body was aching so much and when I tried to get up my body shaked. Then my sister told me I was getting a text from my childhood friend, and that she needed me to print something out for, but I told my sister to tell her back that I can`t and like notify her of my condition, and this is what she said, 

"umm okay, I mean you could quickly print it, but okay get better.." 

That really hurt my feelings, I was already sick and she really made me feel bad...

 

And now only 2 more months until I am done, they just keep making it harder and harder... 

 

Do you think I am overreacting? Do you think it is right for me to be upset with all that has happened? Do you think I deserve all this for what I did? I am honestly traumatized with their behavior... :(

 

What should I do?

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xx_Kiss #1
I have been in a similar situation with you and I know how hard it feels like. And it was also with my best friend. It hurts more knowing that the ppl u used to trust can change that much, or prbbly slip their outer mask
I've passed this through and I think u should stop being friends with them. Find other friends and just try to get close to them. Get close to the teachers, to the lower grades, that'll be better! I did that and finally I managed to make it through.
skittsebony #2
Well that's a tad bit sad to hear and I actually have been in the situation for a couple of times. Yes it and it makes you wish for a lot of stuff but, if theres one thing I realized from this kind of experience, its that these kind of people are the ones that are really not worth the stress. Yes friendship breakups pretty much worse that those bf/gf breakups, but when you really think about it maybe it was better off this way. Why stick with someone who only knows you when they need something from you? To be left out may but at the end of the day, all we have is ourselves. We can never know if we chose the right people as friends until those people prove themselves and their worth. It may right now but eventually, one day you'll look back and laugh about this and mybe say that yes this is for the better. Friends come and go, people say hello and one day leave without goodbye nor a reason why. its not worth the stress, you'll get through it and better people will come along :)
taeny_locksmith12 #3
For me if I were you I WONT BE FRIEND WITH THEM any more because as what I read on your story... they are not meant to be called as your friends... its not your fault..it's not your loss... its theirs, you deserve much better :) try to socialize with others...make new friends... and make them believe that your world doesn't revolved around them.. good luck ;) and I hope this can help you
Yupina_ #4
I had a friend like that and one day the group I was sitting with started walking away when I tried to sit with them and they didn't invite me when they hanged out or had parties (they said they would invite me but never did) I had other friends outside of the group but I wasn't as close to them and I didn't want to leave. One day I heard the talking about me behind my back and they were saying stuff that wasn't true so I had enough. I went to sit with other people who actually like me and want me to be around them.

After a little while I ended having a talk with my friend who people said 'started' it all. After talking with her we've started to become friends again. I still sit with my new friends because I feel more welcome but I've made up with my old ones so I feel a lot better.

The best thing to do would talk to your friend, not only your childhood one but also the one that told everyone what you said. That means you get to find out why she told and with your childhood friend you can clear everything up and hopefully become friends again.

I hope this helps and you guys become friends again. If not I would recommend finding other people to sit with because that way you don't have to be alone and who knows you may find a best friend. :) Good Luck!!
12EXOEXO #5
If you and her were really close, and since the school year is almost over, I recommend you sit her down and have a really a long (if needed) talk. About everything. Tell her how you feel, ask her how she feels, and tell her you want(that is if you do) what you two once had back. Tell her you made a mistake and that you just want the old her back, and that you miss her, and that all the moving was hard(as I'd presume) and that you wish to make up, because soon you won't be kids anymore, you'll be grown up woman, and you hope for her and you to mend your broken friendship. I know how special childhood friends are, and I know how it feels to lose them. Trust me, if she's willing to talk with you and try and work things out seriously, she's worth it. If not...well don't bother with her anymore, and worry about you future :)

Hope this helped. Kisses, hope things get better ^^
Jackiedp00 #6
You really have it bad and definitely don't deserve it. When I was in fifth grade I had a group if best friends. It was four of us and one of them I had known all of my life and we were very close. One day near the end of the year something happened to my brother and I felt so responsible and I was very unhappy and stuff and the next day she tells me she thinks I'm annoying and doesn't want to hang out with me anymore right when I was about to tell her about my brother. It happened during lunch and I already wanted to cry so I just burst into tears right then and there
The other best friends seemed to have sided with her. Then everyone started asking me if I was okay and I just ended up yelling at everyone which was weird because I was always the nice quiet kid who wouldn't hurt a fly.
Then in the summer my mom had a chance of dying and I had no one. No one. That summer I was traumatized and it started my anxiety. That summer was a blur and it was terrible. I can't remember much.
Then in sixth grade it felt terrible but I started to meet more people. I just didn't want to get close to anyone anymore but I did. I found my best friend and my other best friend who understands me and my problems.
Since I was traumatized I recently started therapy just last Friday.
What I suggest is trying to ignore everyone and slowly see if there's anyone that you could let in. It may take you a while. You may not want to trust anyone, but if it's someone who really deserves to be your friend they'll stay by you. And eventually after a while you will trust that person.
RiceballYoonHye #7
To be honest, change is inevitable. Your friend changed and in ways, you have too. Not just physically, but also mentally. People are just usually oblivious to their changes and if you were really unsatisfied with your friend's change, you could have chosen to talk things out with her. If you deem her to be a friend you'd like to keep for a lifetime, you should try to help her change for the better.
The thing with entrusting your newer friend to keep your feelings to your childhood friend a secret, was probably not the best thing to do. This evidently led to a lot of misunderstandings and is no different than the game, Telephone. In this game, you'd have a string of people and the person in the front (you) told the person in the middle her message (newer friend) in which she told the person at the end (childhood friend).
Things always tend to get blurry and twisted in the end. So you might not have meant any harm, by the way your newer friend conveyed it, might have resulted in some hard feelings.
What I suggest is not giving up. I've experienced something like this before with a friend (it wasn't nearly as bad), but eventually though she was hostile to me at times, I was still nice to her. I won't lie and say I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't clarify the situation for her and that led to some misunderstandings between us.
Nevertheless, I treated her the way I hoped she would treat me one day. Though it took a while to resolve, I was able to do it after a couple of months. We were on friendly terms again.
If they still don't seem to like or accept you, at least you've tried. Don't live with any regrets for not trying. It's hard- but once you succeed it's all worth it.
This is our world. We have the power to change our pains into happiness. The feelings you have now, can be changed into something positive if you change it into energy that you'll use to make up with them.
Give it a try. :)
Fan_of_Karma #8
There are many things that you could do, and I don't think any answer is right or wrong. I've been in that situation before, where I've been singled out. Not exactly for the same reasons as yours, but I did feel isolated from everyone for a period of time. I didn't exactly deal with it the best way, but in hindsight, I don't think I dealt with it wrongly either. I think you should think about it another way. Instead of asking what you should do, think about what happens if you do something. If you keep trying to hang out with them, what will happen to you? And if you decide to stop hanging out with them, what will that mean for the last two months of your high school?

If you really want to go deep into this and have the time to do it, I think you should talk to some professionals, because I do think this is a serious issue that you should probably address. I'd recommend, if you don't have any good alternative, to turn to 7 Cups of Tea - it's a great place to vent, and the listeners there (most of them anyway) are very good at helping people deal with situations especially like yours. If you want to check it out, try this:
https://www.7cupsoftea.com/
You don't need to sign up if you don't want to, and you can stay perfectly anonymous. And who knows, maybe I'll randomly get your request :D We'll never know :D
kpop_addict4ever #9
You definitely don't deserve any of that. I advise that you get a friend, any friend. Try to ignore them, block them on snap chat, block their numbers, and if they ask you why you aren't talking to them, say that you are a high schooler, not a preschooler and that they should just get a babysitter but wish them good luck in finding one that is willing to deal with their behavior. But truly, just be yourself and get some other friends, there is no shame in being friends with a boy or maybe a very unpopular person. Just do your best, Fighting!
leenaeun #10
Your friend is indeed cruel, totally like a bad girl from drama, and the worst part she is real. I think this is a good learning that you will selected your bestfriend, i mean the one who you hang out and the one you told everything. Honestly i've been there too, i got bullied so bad and yes it's hurt. You know what, at least you will moved after 2 months, while me? I have to stay with them until the end of my high school. I hope you can be strong my dear friend, i know it's not easy at all but i really hope you can do it, don't give up okay? :)
harmony08 #11
From what I have learned from my own past is that to never talk behind someone else's back because karma does strike back. I know what it feels like to have such a long friendship be ruin because one you changed. I had a friend who I knew from the third grade. We went through so much stuff together and than suddenly I started to realize that she was using me. I also started to change and wanted to be just like her. If she liked something, I would like it as well. If she got a certain color of shirt, I would want one. As I got older, I realized that I wasn't being myself anymore and I've became such a bratty person. Eventually, that friend started to have other friend that she was close to and would keep on leaving me out. We drifted apart and now I have such amazing friends that I could be by myself and not worry if my friends likes me or not. I'm a freshman in college, and I knew that old friend for more than 11 years. I still see her today, but our relationship is not that good anymore. I know it to have a such good friend change especially when you guys trusted each other so much, but life will move on and you have to too. Nobody is going to wait for you. It's only two more months and I'm pretty sure college will bring in amazing friends. So don't worry about it and live your life without that friend. From what I have learn, you have to take the negativity out of your relationships with people to start a new. I'm not saying to be completely be a stranger to her, but try to adventure out and look for better friends who would actually understand you. Just two more months! Fighting!
seamusmommy #12
It's the truth of how you felt and probably your mistake was confiding in that other girl instead of telling your childhood friend directly. All I can say is hang in there, just two more months. Pray for peace and keep yourself busy. It's hard because you have to see them in class, but you've apologized sincerely. That's all you can do. God brings people into our lives for seasons and perhaps her season with you is over. Or it was over when she moved, yet you tried to continue when you shouldn't have. **Hugs**
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