It's okay that the love confession didn't end up being cheesy. Somehow, it doesn't seem fitting for Woohyun's character in this story to be cheesy since he doesn't appear playboyish. The way that he expressed himself to her sincerely is romantic enough.
I already figured that she'd go after him since she couldn't stop worrying about how he's doing. Since he feels responsible as her "boyfriend" to look out for her, Myungsoo went after her to make sure that she's all right. Besides that point, he really seems to be worried about her. The time that they spent bonding as a fake couple must've gotten him to slowly develop feelings for her. That explains why he's like this now towards her. Woohyun is sweet and understanding to be considerate of her feelings and give her time to decide in order to not rush things. The scene on the moonlit beach is romantic from what I can imagine. Now it's Myungsoo's turn to be jealous. After seeing such an intimate sight on the beach, there's no doubt that he's feeling this way because of love. He's seeing her as a woman now. Seeing the way that the current situation is, Myungsoo won't stand a chance against Woohyun in winning her over since she's wholeheartedly accepted him. It's obvious that she does see Woohyun as a man even before becoming Myungsoo's fake girlfriend. For Woohyun and her to be a couple feels right since their love is reciprocated. Plus, she'd have Woohyun protecting her as long as he can manage to prevent her from getting in harm's way. It'll be getting dramatic from this point, especially with the love triangle. Keeping up her role as Myungsoo's girlfriend would be difficult when she's already Woohyun's. There's also Woohyun's and Myungsoo's friendship to consider.
I don't care if you and Myungsoo are a fake couple, i want you and me to be real.
Correction: I don't care that you and Myungsoo are a fake couple. I want you and me to be real.
His words made your brain stop functioning, you were shocked.
Correction: His words made your brain stop functioning and you were shocked.
That man that you were thinking of all this time was thinking of you too, the man who you liked, felt the same way.
Correction: The man that you've been thinking of all this time is thinking of you too. The man whom you like feel the same way.
"It's okay if you're not married, i can wait."
Correction: "It's okay if you're not ready. I can wait."
He explained, and slowly uncupped your hands, but you held on.
Correction: He explained and slowly uncupped your hands, but you held on.
Woohyun's head shot up at your answer, his eyes glittered under the moonlight.
* These two phrases should be written as separate sentences instead of combined into one with a comma.
You asked, sincerely concern, you placed your palm on Woohyun's shoulder, encouraging him to spill everything out.
Correction: You asked sounding sincerely concerned. You placed your hand on Woohyun's shoulder to encourage him to spill everything out.
Woohyun took your hand from his shoulder and cupped it with both of his hands, causing electricity to zip through your whole body.
Correction: Woohyun took his hand from your shoulder and cupped it with both of his hands, which caused a tingling sensation like electricity zapping your whole body.
He gripped on your hands tighter,
Correction: He gripped your hands tighter.
"I have to admit, the first time that i ever noticed you, well, when you smacked my best friend on the face... I thought you were interesting."
Correction: "I have to admit the first time that I ever noticed you, well, when you smacked my best friend on the face... I thought you are interesting."
His sudden confession made your eyes widen,
* It should end with a period.
Ever since that day, you were always running in my mind 24/7.
Correction: Ever since that day, you are always on my mind 24/7.
I couldn't stop thinking about you. So i befriended you, i didn't know this little interest would turn into something more.
Correction: I couldn't stop thinking about you, so I befriended you. I didn't know this little interest would turn into something more.
Every time i see you and Myungsoo together, i get jealous, overly jealous.
Correction: Every time I see you and Myungsoo together, I get jealous--overly jealous.
The 8 of you finally finished your food, without Woohyun.
Correction: The eight of you finally finished your food without Woohyun.
As you were walking back you couldn't help but think.
* Comma after "back"
Ever since me and Myungsoo got closer, Woohyun got weirder and weirder.
Correction: Myungsoo and I
*Woohyun said he was going to the beach, maybe he's still there*
Correction: Woohyun said that he was going to the beach. Maybe he's still there.*
You ran towards the beach, wanting to find Woohyun so badly, you wanted to talk to him and help him.
Correction: You ran towards the beach wanting to find Woohyun so badly. You wanted to talk to him and help him.
You spotted him and ran to him,
* It should end with a period.
Woohyun, hearing that familiar voice, spun around immediately to see a panting you.
Correction: to see you panting
*Should i tell her what i've been feeling?*
Corrections: I; I've
Come on oppa, what's with you lately?
Correction: Come on, Oppa, what's with you lately?
Woohyun lead you to the sand.
Correction: Woohyun led youover to sit down on the sand.
What if she fell down and i didn't notice?!
Correction: I
Myungsoo ran off to look for you,
* A period should be at the end instead.
He stopped when he saw two familiar backs sitting on the sand.
Correction: He stopped when he saw familiar backs of the people sitting down on the sand.
Myungsoo asked himself in curiosity and hid behind a bush near-by, secretly spying on his best friend and fake-girfriend.
Correction: Myungsoo asked himself out of curiosity. He hid himself behind a bush nearby to secretly spy on his best friend and his fake girlfriend.
It's a cute sight of the "couple" playing together in the pool. Woohyun is sweet to be considerate of her well-being. Since he loves her, it's natural for him to be that wat towards her. Seeing Myungsoo and her acting so intimate again must've been too much for Woohyun that he's practically raging with jealousy inside. So, he had to go outside for some fresh air to clear his mind and calm himself down to keep from himself from losing his temper in front of them. She is obviously concerned about him to want to check up on him because he wasn't being his usually cheerful self. As her "boyfriend," Myungsoo couldn't bear to let her be alone with Woohyun or a guy besides himself, so he felt the need to hold her back. It's not surprising of he has already figured out how Woohyun truly feels towards her. He would be able to come to that conclusion by closely observing how Woohyun acts around her.
Myungsoo cooed as he popped a dukboki into your mouth, accidentally smearing some of the cause of the corner of your lips.
Correction: Myungsoo cooed before he popped a dukboki into your mouth. He accidentally smeared some of the sauce on the corner of your lips.
*____ this ____, i can't take it anymore!*
Correction: I
Woohyun thought as he lightly slammed the table and stood up,
* A period should be at the end instead of a comma.
"I'm not hungry anymore, i'll go take a walk on the beach outside."
Correction I'm not hungry anymore. I'll go take a walk on the beach outside."
*Why is he like this, i better go check on him.*
Correction: *Why is he like this? I better go check on him.*
You were curious, you wanted to run out, but Myungsoo held you back.
Correction: You were curious and wanted to run outside, but Myungsoo held you back.
Myungsoo shoved another odang into your mouth to shut you up.
* It should be "an" instead of "another" since he'd only shoved one into .
You asked, climbing out of the waters, your wet shirt sticked on your body, making your curves evident for Woohyun and Myungsoo to see.
Correction: You asked. When you climbed out of the water, your wet shirt clung onto your body to make your curves evident for Woohyun and Myungsoo to see.
Suddenly, a strong gush of wind blew past you and Woohyun, causing you to shiver and wrap your arms around your body.
Correction: Suddenly, a strong gush of wind blew past you and Woohyun and caused you to shiver and wrap your arms around your body.
"Just a minute ago, anyway quickly go shower and get changed, you don't want to catch a cold do you?"
Correction: "Just a minute ago. Anyway, quickly go shower and get changed. You don't want to catch a cold, do you?"
Woohyun smiled and pushed you back into the house, leading you to the bathroom.
Correction: Woohyun smiled and pushed youback into the house to lead you to the bathroom.
"Ask Nicole to grab my clothes and towel for me, they're in the 3rd room!"
Correction: "Ask Nicole to grab my clothes and my towel for me. They're in the third room!"
You asked Woohyun.
* It should be "told" instead of "asked."
It was soon dinner time, you were sitting between Myungsoo and Woohyun.
Correction: Soon, it was dinner time. You were sitting between Myungsoo and Woohyun.
And again, Myungsoo was feeding you.
* The word "and" should be removed.
Hearing no response, they all scratched their heads in confusion.
Correction: When they heard no response, they all scratched their heads in confusion.
Woohyun suggested before pulling his phone up, dialing the numbers before placing it on his left ear.
Correction: Woohyun suggested before pulling his phone out and dialing his number before placing it near his left ear.
A shrill bommed throughout the whole house, causing Woohyun's ears to perk up immediately.
Correction: A shrill voice echoed throughout the whole house, which caused Woohyun's ears to perk up immediately.
With that, Woohyun dashed to wherever your voice came from.
Incorrect: where ever
Correction: wherever
He came to a abrupt stop when he saw you and Myungsoo together in the pool, both of your bodies drenched.
Correction: He came to an abrupt stop when he saw you and Myungsoo together in the pool. Both of your bodies were drenched.
Myungsoo's arm's were wrapped tightly around your body and you were trying to squirm out of his grasp.
Correction: arms
Woohyun's heart dropped, seeing the both of you being so intimate.
Correction: Woohyun's heart sank from seeing both of you being so intimate.
Myungsoo inched closer to your face with a small smirk, before you could scream, another voice interrupted.
Correction: Myungsoo inched closer to your face with a small smirk. Before you could scream, another voice interrupted.
You peeked behind Myungsoo to see Woohyun standing at the edge of the pool, tapping his bare foot on to the waters.
Correction: You peeked behind Myungsoo to see Woohyun standing at the edge of the pool tapping his bare foot in the water.
You exclaimed and pushed Myungsoo off your body, before swimming towards him.
Correction: You exclaimed and pushed Myungsoo away from your body before swimming towards him.
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