I would first like to say thank you the people behind this. I wish I found it sooner. This was really thoughtful of you and I’m sure Jonghyun is thankful for this service. I don’t know much about other people but I hope that all of us can find happiness. I hope everyone could find the strength to get up today and the next.
Hi, Jonghyun, are you doing well? I can’t believe it’s been 2 years already since you passed. Since then, I actually don’t think I’ve properly moved on. I never got to finish the portrait I made of you. I’m sorry.
I’m not a very active fan of SHINee, I occasionally listen to some of your songs, but when you left, it really affected me too. I didn’t know you but I cried for weeks. I don’t know how to properly describe it. I just...I just understood so much why you did it.
I suddenly had the thought, “Would that be me too one day?” while I was mourning. At that time, 2017, was the beginning of my decline in my mental health. I was struggling with my own thoughts, my own mind became my enemy. I was so passionate of being an animator. I always loved being an artist, but since these 2 years, I felt like I’ve already lived my life enough when I just recently reached 21. Death was always a constant concept in my mind that I wanted to be in, but never had the guts to actually do it because i’m a ing coward. Though I’m scared that someday I would. I’m scared of my own future because my health isn’t improving. It’s probably getting even worse. Just this morning, I was struggling with having to ignore my doubts again.
Going through all this, I don’t blame Jonghyun for wanting to leave this place, to want to leave his difficult life. I understand what it feels like to be smiling around people close to us but never really feeling happy because there’s so much self-hate in you. I always feel like i’m never good enough for people and that i’m not really important to them. People only need me when they want to use me. After I’ve done what they needed, I’m set aside and forgotten. I always wondered how my “death” would affect people. What if I finally grew tired of this pathetic life? How would they feel? They would probably just mourn for a day and move on the next because I never really made an impact on anyone’s life.
I’m not someone like you. I can only dream of being an inspiration to people. You were an angel with a voice that pierces the soul. You wrote songs that helped people cope. But what about you? Did you ever find healing in your own songs? I still feel sorry that you had to go through such a difficult life. I feel sorry that you felt like you had no one. I wish I could have helped you or at least by any one of your fans or friends.
I feel like I don’t even deserve to mourn your death because i’m practically no one. I feel like i’m intruding. I’m just someone who just sympathizes so much. Other people have it worse and have an actual connection with you. But I still want to thank you for the songs you’ve made. “Lonely” made me feel like you were talking to me and I always cry listening to that song.
Though since your death, Jonghyun, nothing pretty much changed. I still feel lonely. No one’s going to miss me when i’m gone. Your songs and other kpop groups are just helping me prolong my life.
Speaking of others, Sulli is also there with you. I really hope both of you found the peace you’ve been seeking. I kind of feel jealous. I want to find peace as well.
I’m sure you must be watching everyone. Are you proud of them? They’re doing really well and they’re probably going to visit you today soon.
I never managed to got to say it I think at the time of your death, but you did really well, Jonghyun. Please rest well. After all the hard work you did, you’re finally resting. No one blames you for leaving, at least I don’t.
Jonghyun, I remember watching SHINEE on Hello Baby and thinking about how would you and the others would make good and loving fathers. You made such a good team and even kept in contact with your "son" after it ended. Now Jonghyun, you, will miss out on watching him grow up, you will never start a family of your own, you will never again see the family and friends who loved and cared about you so much. I wish you hadn't ended it the way you did. I wish you had survived and lived to tell the story. You will always be remembered. You did well.
Chapter 1: It's 2nd year I got my first tattoo with your words
수고했어요, 정말 고생했어요
You did well& really worked hard
I got it on my wrist where i used to cut myself or try suicide
I got it to look at it whenever i want to cut myself or end my life then i'd tell myself I did well by keep breathing & I worked hard to survive till the end of a ty day.
I started therapy a year ago cause of you jonghyun-ah i want to take revenge of the depression you had face & I /we face . I even help & listen if anyone anyone i know or not that saying "depressed". Guess what it success . I'm better cause I had your voice to keep me breathing whenever I got panic attacks . Cause you're with me at the end of a day full of mistakes. Those 2 years you weren't far. You always by my side & in my mind, heart, skin . I loved you more & all over again in those 2 years. I still wonder if you knew that you loved that much & you still inspire and save people , would that be your choice?
Still you did well & i hope you do well now
I love you, forgive me that i was fan to your suffering as an idol on stage & never take an action & still don't. But i try to stop fan over anyone suffer.
I'm Sorry. Thanks for everything you had given & still give to me.
Hager., Egypt
Hi JJong, I know this is just my way of venting of pent up frustration. What happened to this world, Jonghyun-ah? Why people are hating on others when they can live a happy life by not harming anyone? A girl was pushed to kill herself, idols who wanted to establish a career are pushed back because of their past. we imperfect humans are hell bent on needing others to be perfect in all occasions. I don't understand this. And there exist some people who make money on advertising one's sorrows and misfortune.
Where this world is going?
I'm sorry for just dumping my feels here but no one else in my life really understands how important these angels were to me. Shinee was the first group I ever heard in kpop and jonghyun was my bias and when he left it was unbearable to listen to his voice or hear a sing he made. It has taken me nearly two years to be able to listen to his music and not bawl then baby sulli left us as well. She wasnt my first bias in f(x) that was Amber but sulli was like an angel to me she was so beautiful and could lift my heart with her smiles. If I felt down while I battled my depression I would watch videos of her or snsd's tiffany smiling or being silly and it brightened my bleak day. Losing sulli has reopened so many scars in my mind and heart and all I want is to rewind time and embrace her and jonghyun. They were so young but they were people I feel like I grew up with its truly like losing two friends that I cherished and loved.
I love you Jonghyun and I love you Sulli please rest well now and know you both were so loved and cherished
I'm starting to ask myself why i always find out about bad new at night when i can't sleep and two days after it happened! First Jonghyun and now Sulli?! I wish i would sleep and when i'll wake up, i'll find out it was just a nightmare.
I though Sulli was the strongest person on this earth with how she dealt with the bad comments. But now i know no one can be strong inside like outside if there isn't someone by their side.
Life is really unfair if the people who were suposed to help you come when it's already too late(i.e: the lawmakers). Why should someone have to die so that the society would see that there's a serious problem?!!
I feel sad and angry. And angrier that i still can't be able to face this reality and prefer imagining another world.
Hope she's in a better place than this one.
Chapter 1: RIP our precious giant baby, Sulli. God got back a wonderful angel. My heart screams out for f(x) and for my fellow MeUs, Ambertarians and Muses. It doesn't matter that the girls are on different adventures now; they will ALWAYS be f(x)!!! Family is always family.
Chapter 1: "Let her life be an inspiration, not her death. Channel that pain and turn it into something beautiful. Visualize that emptiness and fill it with light."
Hello, I subscribed to this a few days after Jonghyun passed away, but I never check this out. But it's more like I never have the courage to check this out. I remembered that day I was crying a lot and I looked like a god damn ugly with my very puffy eyes after constantly crying for hours, stopped for a while and cry again. I like SHINee and he was and still part of SHINee, so one can imagine it was so effin sudden and it really felt like I was hit by something very hard when I learnt about the news, I was praying so hard that everything will be okay, he will make it through, but he did not. Perhaps he really was tired of his sickness, this world and everything. I remembered that I loathed him and hated him for quite some time that he was so selfish to left his loved ones behind and after some times, I finally realized that "at least now he can finally rest and get his well deserved peace forever." Till now, there are times I cannot read his fics, listen to his songs or even see his picture because it still hurts, it still reminds me of the fact that he's never here again, with us anymore....
As for Sulli, I truly feel bad for her. I feel sorry for her. I really hope those anti fans outside finally realize what they have done. They KILLED a living person. One hate comment coming from every haters, is it not enough to kill a person? If you don't like her maybe skip her videos, songs, picture and whatever she's involved in? Why do you haters need to comment bad stuffs? She's an idol, and idol is also a human, just like you and me. Don't say bull stuffs like "she's a idol, she should be able to handle all this." It only takes so much for a human to break. Humans are fragile living being.
I really don't know what more to say for now. Honestly speaking, I'm still not over the fact that both of them are not with us anymore. But, I do hope that they're doing better now. You guys will be remembered for a long time. For now, please just let us grieve over the loss of two amazing and talented idol stars. But I can assure you guys that some time later, we will be able to face and accept everything. Hopefully, by that time, we'll be able to laugh, joke and smile whenever we think of you guys. And hopefully the entertainment agencies and the law will be improved to protect idols. Till then, rest in peace dear Jonghyun and Jinri. I really really hope you guys are free from suffering. I love you.
Chapter 800: It's really sad to heart the news.. Be happy Sulli maybe u will find happiness there without anyone badmouthing you.. You are such a free spirited and brave girl.. I know u will support your SM family , ur frnds and family and ur loved ones.. I hope u and jong oppa will protect and bless their fans and loved ones to not face any other situations like you... One thing is for sure.. U both of them will not be forgetten by ur loved ones because u still live in our hearts and will always live in our hearts... You two of them did well ????????????
seriously... it'll never get easy, but it's so sad to see another star lost to us.
i hope Sulli and Jonghyun are happy where they are now and free of suffering.
and i just hope fans and non-fans can just be more kind with others and the world itself.
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