*NOT MY PICTURE*

Jinyoung:

            Last year when the autumn leaves danced with the wind, I stared aimlessly at the ground as Grandpa Pyo lay lifeless in my arms. The only person that I had left in this world was gone. The only person that could truly make me smile was gone. And it was my fault. I should have come home sooner. I should have skipped school to watch after him. I should have saved him. Tears formed in my eyes and then dropped down to travel the path that their elders had traveled. I touched his cold cheek and kissed his cold forehead. The doorbell rang rapidly. I quickly stood up and unlocked the door. Paramedics rushed inside and placed Grandpa Pyo on a stretcher.
            I sat and waited for Grandpa while he was in the emergency room. I thought of the time when he first showed me Pyo the Tree. After the first day of high school he showed me around the school yard and talked about how much the school had changed since he graduated from it. He showed me the tree that was missing branches on its left side. He said that the tree was dear to his heart because he met the love of his life at the tree. And so I named the tree after him and took better care of it than I took care of myself. Because, whatever was dear to Grandpa Pyo was also be dear to me.
            It was my fault that he died. I constantly thought after the doctors informed me that Grandpa Pyo didn't make it after suffering from a . I blankly nodded my head as I listened to the more detailed explanation of his death. I don't care how he died, he's gone, that's all that matters...
            I fulfilled Grandpa's last wish by sending his body to the crematory. I sat outside of the crematory and looked up at the night sky as I waited for his urn. The chilly autumn wind blew against me as it carried leaves into the sky. I traced the path of a leaf as it twirled in the air. It led to me Venus. I looked at her and all of her beauty. She told me to spread Grandpa's ashes in the river of his hometown in the country side. I told her that I'd do as she told me but the thought escaped me as I waited for his urn. I waited and waited with only the company of myself. I realized how lonely I was. I realized how miserable I was. I forgot about Venus' words as I sulked in my own misery. Hours passed by and I finally received his urn.
            I carefully carried it home as the sun began to rise and birds started to sing. I placed the urn where his body was last laying. Time for school... I put on my blue uniform and then went into the bathroom. I realized there was no more toothpaste so I opened the cabinet. Something caught my eye, the razor blades. I slowly grabbed one and held it against my wrist. I pressed in down against my skin and then slid it across, making my skin tear and blood flow out from the cut. It felt painless, it felt relieving. I blankly stared at the dripping blood. When one drop fell another one went after it. It was a continuous cycle. It was like people, one person dies and then the next. I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were puffy and swollen from crying. My lips were dry and chapped. My hair was messy and tangled. So this is who I am without Grandpa Pyo. I'm just and ugly, lonely, miserable, murderer. I should have gotten home sooner. I should of saved him. It was my fault that he died. I killed him. I pushed a razor blade into my pocket and walked to school. Under Pyo, the tree, I'll leave my soul there. I'll leave my soul there to live; I'll leave my body there to die.
            The blood from the first cut dried by the time I reached school. Everyone was walking together with their friends. They laughed, they smiled, they were happy. I sat under Pyo and took out the blade from my pocket. I looked up at the moving clouds while I was bound to the earth. I cried again as I thought of Grandpa Pyo. There's nothing left for me in this world. And so I began to slowly cut as the autumn leaves danced with the wind. I watched the blood drip to the dirt. The brilliant red drops chased after one another to their death. As my body began to lose its strength, I heard the chirping of the peculiar brown bird, which was up in Pyo's branches. It looked at me and smiled. And then there she fell right in front of me, Suzy. And then there I fell right in front of her. I had no strength left. I heard her gasp as my eyes closed on their own.
            I woke in an empty hospital room. Suzy came to visit me at night and we looked up at Venus and all of her beauty. She reminded me about Grandpa Pyo's ashes. I had forgotten all about it. A shooting star flew by and I wished for a kiss. I should at least know what a kiss feels like before I leave this world. And so I kissed her. We spent the night chatting with each other. I lent her my blanket for the night, it was the last kind deed that I could do for her. I woke early the next morning and wrote her a letter of au revoir. I folded the hospital clothes and changed into my old blood drenched uniform before leaving the room. I didn't look back at her as I left. I wanted to leave her behind, she was better off without me. It was best for both of us. We shared a few moments that made our hearts skip a beat but it was not enough for my naive heart to stay. I wasn't going to find her again; it'd be a waste of my time. If we aren't to meet again in this lifetime, then I'd make it up to her by going out of my way to find her in the next life.
            I returned home and packed up a few of my belongings. I carefully picked up Grandpa's urn and grabbed the car keys. I wasn't too skilled in driving but I knew enough to get by safely. I carried the few items that I needed into the car and then started the engine. I pulled out of the driveway and drove into the big street. It was lightly crowded. I looked around as I drove and said goodbye to all my memories of the city. I drove through the small streets to avoid traffic. I passed the small shops and stopped at a corner's red light. I looked to the left and there she was, Suzy. She had her knees on the ground as she picked up a fallen leaf. My verdant heart filled with inchoate feelings wanted me to get out of the car and hold her. But my mind told me to let go of her. And so as the light turned green, I pressed the gas and drove past her. The leaf in her hand flew away as I did.
            After a long drive, I finally reached the small country side town that Grandpa Pyo grew up in. My stomach was growling but I continued driving. I remembered the place well because I came here in the summer every year with Grandpa Pyo. I drove to his favorite spot at the small river and stopped the car. The sun was setting and the sky turned the color of Venus. I carefully held the urn as I walked to the river. I gently opened the lid and sang prayers to Grandpa Pyo up in the sky as I spread his ashes into the river. The crickets sang along with me into the night. The light autumn breeze made the trees sway. I put the lid back on the urn and sat by the river. The moon light shined on the water and unveiled the small swimming fish. I looked up at the moon and then at Venus. She smiled at me but standing on top of her I saw a figure that I had never seen before. I squinted my eyes and saw that Grandpa Pyo was waving to me. I waved back but when I blinked my eyes he was gone. I thought of taking my life again at the river but tonight was too beautiful to be tainted with blood.
            I returned the urn to the car and began to drive around. I drove up to a small cottage that had its light on. Maybe the owners would let me stay for the night. I stepped out of the car and held my small bag of belongings and the urn. The Rose of Sharon bushes were untrimmed and the grass was uneven. I knocked on the wooden door and looked inside the window. There was a round table with an empty blue vase on it. The paintings on the wall were askew and the light was dim. I knocked on the door harder and to my surprise the door opened. I walked inside and placed the urn on the table. The floor was dirty and the plants on the window sill were dead. I quickly surveyed the house and realized that there was no one living in the small cottage. I entered a small bed room and threw my bag onto the floor. I opened a large dresser and saw a folded futon. I set it up on the floor nicely and lay down on it. I was astonished when I looked at the ceiling. There were glow-in-the-dark stars all over it. There was also a crescent moon. It was beautiful but something was missing... Venus was missing. I stared at miniature night sky as I drifted off into my long awaited slumber