❝ chapter eighteen

e r i c ’ s

    “Ric hyung, how was the jungle?” 

We’re sitting in the living room of Yongsun’s house, it’s two nights before their comeback stage and to be very honest, this is the first time I’ve seen girl group members eating these much food a few nights before their comeback. Usually, they would try not to eat anything so their faces will not look swollen the next morning but it’s Mamamoo we’re talking about. 

    “Great. I mean, the sceneries are breath-taking.” I nodded and reached out for the spicy rice cake then steal a glance at Byul who was about to open so I added, “But, I prefer living here.” 

Hyejin and Wheein only focus on eating and they would smile at me when they finally look up from their plates to take a breath. Hyejin insists I go by her real name because we’re technically a family now, saying how it’s about the time. Hwasa sounds a little bit too distant. 

    “I want to try going there once. Is it really as hard as it look?” Byul asked.

    “If you’re not used to skipping meal then it’s hard. They really don’t give you food if you can’t find anything.” 

    Hyejin frowns. “Then, how do you survive?” 

    “Geez Hyejin, we don’t die from skipping one meal.” Wheein shakes her head. 

I laughed then stole a glance at Yongsun who was strangely silent tonight. She didn’t talk much, even her members would stole a glance sometimes. Wheein kept on trying to brighten the mood while eating her food. 

    “Are you okay?” I leaned in and whispered.

    She looked at me and nodded. “I was just thinking.” 

The girls looked at her then at us and they grew silent. We knew what she was talking about, Yongsun said she wanted to wait until her comeback promotion ended because she didn’t want to burden her members and I agreed because this comeback meant everything to them, they worked for it themselves. But her members insisted that they were fine and they didn’t care if the album failed on the chart, because their intentions in first place were to connected with the audiences with their music. As long as someone enjoyed our music, they said, even if there is only one person in the end. 

    “Do you want to do it tonight?” Byul asked. 

    Yongsun looked at her and suddenly, she looked conflicted. “Do you guys mind? Be honest with me.” 

    “Do we mind?” Byul asked and sighed. “No, we don’t. How many time do we have to tell you to put yourself first for once? We don’t mind, we’ll always be here if you need us.” 

I hold her hand and give her a soft squeeze. She looks at me and frowns, there are tears in her eyes but she blinks them away. Announcing it now would end up with people being hostile toward their comeback and her members, and if we keep it a secret, Dispatch will catch us anytime and it’s going to be even worst. If it’s anything I’ve learned from all the scandals that broke out between idols’ relationships, it’s definitely how much fans hate about them doing something behind their backs because basically if you choose to become an idol, you no longer have a choice whether or not your privacies are also theirs.

    “Did you talk to the company?” Byul asked. 

    “He was fine with it. He said he was fine with us dating the whole time and the choice is mine, if it gets serious, he’ll take care of the media.” Yongsun nodded but it was obvious she felt thankful and guilty for everyone else. 

    “Did your company say anything, Ric hyung?” Hyejin looked at me and for the first time tonight, she put her chopstick down. “I heard they’re really strict with all of these national boyfriend image of yours.”

    “They said if that’s what I really wanted then I should know what would come with it after.” I shrug. “But, it’s not like I care that much about it. It’s about the time I get rid of this image, I don’t even understand where it comes from in first place. It’s a total double-edged sword.” 

They chuckle at that but the atmosphere is definitely solemn and tense. It’s two nights before their comeback, they should be in great mood but now I feel like I accidentally ruin something along it. 

Suddenly, she puts her chopstick down and grabs her phone from the table.

    “You know what? Let’s just do it.”