Do you know why people treasure love the must? Why they love even when is painful?

Some girl asked me that after being rejected while walking by the sidewalk, that time I gaze her at lost and shook my head; she sighed and chuckled bitterly, I furrowed my brows that time because I thought I was being make a fool, but then the next words she told me struck on my head.

Do you know why the little mermaid didn’t kill the prince and turned into sea foam?

Again I shook my head. She just walked away with tears on her eyes at that time; now, after so many time, it’s me the one chuckling bitter and the one wanting to ask those questions, but the thing is…

Nobody is around me, I’m not waking in a crowed place on the sidewalk, neither I have the courage to ask those questions to random people, so I’m just standing, remembering her and asking those things to myself.

I know the answer, yet I can’t put it on words, neither my brain process what I’m feeling, so is true; love is the heart and smartness is the mind, so then… I’m a fool.

My eyes lingering on the sea-foam ahead of me, the waves came near and from time to time, they reach my barefoot; its cold; but not more than my almost going-to-be freeze and broken heart.

“I know…” my mouth whispered the words that I couldn’t say to that broken girl years ago and I’m laughing like a hoax while tears come down from my eyes “the little mermaid turned into foam because…”

Ah… the water is frost, my body is numb; then… why, why my heart is still throbbing, why isn’t being freeze like my body?

I can see the sunlight’s coming to the deep ocean through the water, ah… if I lift my hand, I can reach the light?

If I reach the light, my heart will stop?

If my heart stops… I will feel no pain?

I feel dizzy and my throat is hurt, the water is entering in my body and burning my insides, I reach my mouth trying to breathe for some reason and I try to swing upside, I want to save my life by instinct even when I wanted to drown myself since the beginning.

It’s useless, I’m drowning, I’m dying… and yet;

Why it seems suddenly so calm, so un-painful, so… relaxing?

 Do you know why the little mermaid didn’t kill the prince but turned into sea foam?

I close my eyes slowly while falling slowly onto the deep ocean; it’s cold, it’s dark, but I feel anesthetized and serene.

Because she did not only loves him, but…

“Hey! Are you ok?” asked worried a voice while shaking the thin man’s body, the hand of the person slaps the face of the unconscious man and shouts again; he tsk-ed in a mixed of worry and despair, looking at the almost dead man in front of him and then ruffles his own wet hair frustrated “aish!!” exclaims while placing in his last resource to save the other, lips meets lips, it isn’t romantic, it isn’t even a kiss, is just passing respiration from mouth to mouth.

The unconscious one slowly starts to open his eyes, scanning the place, shutting his eyes at the bright light and opening them again to adjust them, is this heaven? He asks to himself but the he chuckles at his own silly thoughts after being to the fade recollection of events, he drowning, he coughing, he splitting water, he feeling like after his try of suicide, and so… he laughs like crazy with a shattered smile on his lips and pass a hand through his almost dried hair by now.

“I’m such an idiot” he laughs but wants to cry, then he scanned the area, he is in the beach, laying over the sand, he wonders who saved his life, and doesn’t know if curse that person, or ask for pray for he/her.

His phone sounds, the bothering ring tone, not even a nice tune, and he rolls his eyes while searching for the loosen jacket that he threw away over the sand before he went inside the sea, once he found it, the noise stops and he sighs again, getting up and walking to the black fabric to retrieve his phone that startles him when starts to sound again.

He watches the ID on the screen and his lips forms a small smile, so then, he picks the call and talks with a soft voice, like if everything is fine, like if he just doesn’t tried to kill himself minutes or maybe hours ago.

“Kyuhyun” he felt his tongue and lips smoothly pronounce that name and he grips tight the phone, like wanting to hold on something because he can’t ever hold in that someone.

“Hyuk! Where are you?” asks the soft, happy voice at the other side of the line, the named just then grips the phone tighter, afraid of losing over and over again himself in that sweet voice, and he smiles watching the sea, but no words come from his mouth, then the man at the line spokes again “we’re waiting for you, you know you’re my best-man, and I can’t go on without you” Hyukjae forces a smile even when no one is watching him and nods.

“I know, Kyu, I know”, with that the other chuckle and says before hang up “come quick, I’m nervous, I want you to be by my side at the most important time of my life”

Hyukjae doesn’t dare to end the call or lower the phone, just the sudden cut of the line and the dead beep sound welcomed his ears, and he laughs, because it's funny how the sound is similar to the one the machines on the hospitals sounds when the heart has stopped, like his own heart. So he just picks his jacket, walks to his car and watches the immense sea with a quick glance behind him before opening the door of his car and then, he turns the motor and decided is time…

Time to let go, time to say… good bye.