June 23rd, 7:30 PM, Hoshi was standing at the concert venue of Woozi’s first concert, tightly clutching his ticket in one hand, and his gift in the other, yet his feet refused to move. Nervousness was enveloping his body whole, keeping it at a standstill. Eyes darting from the fans excitedly milling about, to the staff keeping everything in place, to fan support areas where fans sold their idol’s goods, Hoshi felt horribly out of place.

Forcefully willing his feet to move, Hoshi moved towards where the fans placed their gifts to be later sent to Woozi, and placed his own gift. A simple Lollipop Ring, that would mean nothing to anyone but them, in a small bag with an even simpler note;

I still remember

Do you remember too?

I miss you

          - Hoshi

~~

    Wrapping his ‘diamond’ clad fingers around the stick which he had found lying on the ground, he took a seat atop his throne, which was nothing more than piled up chairs.

“what brings you here, my loyal knight?” Woozi said, after having finally tasted his diamond-shaped lollipop.

Playing along, Hoshi kneeled down in front of ‘his king’ “my king, the witch has been spotted again”

“had you not eliminated her before?” Woozi asked, with a tone of slight annoyance, sending his most scrutinizing gaze toward Hoshi. The look could’ve been intimidating if Woozi didn’t look like a 5 year old with his lollipop in his mouth. Hoshi found the sight too amusing and burst out into giggles. Seeing his friend’s act collapse, Woozi collapsed into his own fit of giggles.

“we’re too old for this” said Woozi after he had finally recovered, fondly shaking his head at their game which they had played more times than he could remember.

“you still look five though” teased Hoshi.

“I just age well” responded Woozi, no longer affected by Hoshi’s teasing.

“when did you become so mature?” Hoshi wrinkled his nose in disdain “I remember you threw a fit the first time I said you looked like a five year old”

“hey, I was like fourteen” Woozi protested

“you still threw a fit that was a bit too childish for a fourteen year old” replied Hoshi. Woozi chose to only send Hoshi a weak glare before resuming to on his lollipop.

“I would’ve called you mature for not responding if it weren’t for the lollipop” Hoshi laughed, and promptly received a light hit on his shoulder.

~~

Amidst the huge sea of fans, Hoshi felt so tiny, even though he was taller than most fans. The concert venue was huge, which made him feel even smaller. He usually found comfort in numbers, but not tonight. Tonight, he prefered solitude, like any other time in which Woozi was involved. Tonight, the number of people around him wasn’t comforting; it was rather annoying, putting more distance and people between him and Woozi. Although he wasn’t sure he would like to go face to face with Woozi quite yet, he still didn’t like the huge number of people in the venue.

Trying to maneuver his way around the sea of fans blocking his way to his seat, he couldn’t have felt tinnier. The fans were loud, boisterous, and just generally happy as they talked animatedly with their families and friends, filling the cavernous venue with all sorts of noise. The atmosphere contrasts with a distant memory where Hoshi felt tiny for a different reason.

~~

He ran through the silent trees as fast as he could, basking in the exhilarating feeling of freedom that running through the woods offered. By his side was Woozi, running just as fast with a grin on his face that mirrored Hoshi’s, the sun coloring his usually dark hair a bright brown. His friend’s presence brought him comfort that would’ve been unavailable if he were to run through the woods alone, and he was more than thankful that his friend entertained his hobby.

Running as fast as they were, they ran the risk of running into a tree, but experience and instinct prevented them from running into any. And not before long, they had reached a wide area where only grass was scattered throughout, with no trees; Hoshi’s favorite part of the woods. Reaching the center of it, he stopped running and slumped onto his back, panting heavily. Woozi soon followed.

Grinning dizzily at his friend, Hoshi couldn’t remember being happier. After a week full of stress, being able to let it all out with his best friend was the best stress relief he could’ve asked for. Turning to his friend, he expressed all he was feeling in two words; “Thank you”

“what for?” Woozi panted, the grin still on his face

“For being here” Hoshi replied, satisfied with his reply, as it sums up some of the emotions bubbling within him.

“you’re welcome, I guess” said Woozi, feeling slightly awkward at the sudden display of emotions

“we are best friends, aren’t we?” he said, grin slightly lopsided. Hoshi stared at him for a moment too long before replying “yeah, we are”

Feeling awkward with his friend’s weird behaviour, Woozi changed the subject.

“why do you like it here so much?” he asked, eyes curious; his friend had never told him despite taking him there more than a dozen times.

Hoshi fumbled for words before finally uttering “the trees make me feel tiny” no longer looking at Woozi.

“why would you like feeling tiny?” Woozi looked confused.

“with all the stress my dad’s been putting me through, I like to feel tiny; less responsibilities” Hoshi replied a lot more smoothly, yet he still wasn’t looking at Woozi. Woozi knew that Hoshi’s being the heir to his dad’s company was a touchy subject, so he dropped it.

“but you said this was your favorite spot” Woozi pointed out instead “there are no trees here”

“but it’s pretty here” Hoshi argued. Woozi eyed his friend for a moment as though he’s gone mad.

“I don’t understand your definition of pretty” Woozi finally said “there is literally nothing here but grass”

Scoffing, Hoshi sat up, with his elbows supporting his weight, ready to point out all the ways in which the clearing was pretty only to realize that his friend was right; there was nothing but grass.

Not willing to lose, he said “the grass is pretty” before slumping back down with a pout that admits defeat. Woozi merely glanced at his friend before victory was confirmed.

“you know it isn’t all that pretty” was the last thing said before a comfortable silence stretched between them, where they lay down side by side and let the wind gently ruffle their hair and clothes.

“I think this is my favorite spot, too” Woozi said after a while, voice barely a whisper

“why?” Hoshi asked “you just said it’s not pretty”

“but I like it” Woozi said, voice still low “I don’t feel tiny here”

Hoshi propped his weight on his elbow again and sat sideways so he was facing his friend, paying him his full attention, but didn’t speak, curious as to what his friend has to say.

“you know with how things are going” Woozi continued “My dream of being a singer seems really far from reach”

Hoshi nodded in understanding but again didn’t speak and let his friend continue instead.

“here, it seems I’m not so tiny anymore” Woozi said, his arm slightly flailing about in excitement after the mere thought of his dream, his voice no longer a whisper “I could actually make it. Maybe one day I could have a concert in a venue as big as this clearing”

Hoshi could see his friend’s eyes twinkling with excitement.

“and you’d be there too for my first concert” Woozi looked to Hoshi “you’ll be with me backstage”

“but it’s more fun to watch the concert from the fan seats” Hoshi protested

“alright, then, you could have a backstage pass and come backstage when you please” Woozi said, placating his friend.

“can I have a free ticket, too?” Hoshi asked “tickets are expensive”

“nah, you buy your own ticket” Woozi said, a mischievous smile stretching on his face.

“but I’m your best friend” Hoshi protested

“correction; you’re my rich best friend” Woozi teased, the same smile still on his face. Hoshi slumped on his back in defeat for the second time.

“I’m only joking” Woozi said, a fond smile on his face “of course you get a free ticket”

“one for my mom too” Hoshi said

Woozi laughed “sure, one for your mom too”

“promise?” Hoshi asked

“promise” Woozi said, interlocking their pinkies together in a promise.

~~

Hearing his friend sing live was one of the most bizarre experiences in Hoshi’s life. He had heard his friend sing before, had seen him practising, but Hoshi wasn’t there for the portion of Woozi’s life where he finally went down the path of fame, and thus it felt too weird seeing so many fans cheering along to the loud beats of Woozi’s songs. He felt like cheering too, what with the beats being his and Woozi’s favorite genre; hip hop. But with where he stood with Woozi, he wasn’t sure if it was appropriate to cheer. Even though Woozi couldn’t see him through the huge crowd of fans. Even though his seat was too high for Woozi to spot. Even though Woozi didn’t even know he went to his concert, he still didn’t feel it was appropriate. 7 years ago, he would’ve been jumping out of his seat with excitement and exhilaration, but not now.

And then came the sad, mellow, songs; Woozi singing his heart out with sad love lyrics. Hoshi wondered who the lyrics were about, because he was sure they definitely weren’t about him. But the more he listened, the more he wondered if maybe some of the lyrics were about him. And the more he listened, the more he regretted. His heart was already filled with regret for not having tried to fix their relationship even once in the last seven years, but he had gotten over that regret by coming to the concert today. But listening to Woozi sing, the regret came flooding back until Hoshi couldn’t hold back the tears and excused himself for a bathroom break, but there was no one to comfort him.

~~

The ride back from the funeral was silent. Hoshi sat in Woozi’s car, staring out the window with his fingers slightly trembling on his lap; neither he nor his dad had felt like spending the night at home. Despite his friend’s intense gaze directed towards him, and Woozi’s mom’s fervent glances cast towards him every few seconds in the rearview mirror, Hoshi was unfazed as his thoughts took him far from reality.

Woozi stared at his friend, unsure of what to do. Then just slightly, he reached to take one of Hoshi’s trembling hands in his own, squeezing it lightly to assure Hoshi that he was there and that he would listen.

Hoshi was startled by the sudden contact, and cast his gaze away from the window to look at his and Woozi’s intertwined fingers. Looking over to Woozi, he was met with an understanding gaze. He leant into the touch; it grounded him to reality and kept him away from the thoughts that threatened to fill his mind again. And soon, Hoshi was crying into Woozi’s shoulder as Woozi rubbed circles into his back. Through his sobs, he was faintly aware that Woozi’s mom no longer sneaked glances at him as she pretended she didn’t notice him crying, and he was thankful for that. He was also thankful she detoured and went into a longer route to get home to give him time to calm down.

And it took him some time to calm down. But when he did, Woozi’ mom had stopped the car near a park and gotten out of the car to get ice cream to give them the space to talk.

“better now?” Woozi asked, after Hoshi had detached himself from Woozi.

“a little” Hoshi replied, wiping his swollen eyes with a tissue “sorry about your shirt”