Seokjin has spent many lifetimes searching for his soulmate. He has met his soulmate many times and loved them each time. He had spent many years loving them, growing up with them and dying with them. His soulmate has taken many forms such as a childhood pet, a lion that had killed him, and his teacher. Seokjin has yet to find his soulmate in this life time.

          In this life time, he’s a trainee for an idol company. He’s made a few friends, but still he still feels like he’s alone. He still feels alone even though he has Namjoon, but the younger male is not his soulmate. He knows the other three kids’ names, but they scare him. Namjoon tells him that they are getting a new trainee today. All of the trainees are gathered in the studio. Seokjin sits close to Namjoon while the rest are gathered in front of the monitor. The door opens and a boy with a bowl cut walks in. His hair is brownish black, He’s lanky. The boy has to be no older than Seokjin. He introduces himself as Kidoh, but his real name is Hyosang. Everyone introduces themselves, but when it’s Seokjin’s turn he freezes up. Memories of past lifetimes flash through his mind. He vaguely hears Namjoon calling his name. He snaps back and everyone is staring at him. He gets up and excuses himself. He pushes past Hyosang, their shoulders bump and Seokjin feels the spark. He runs to the restroom and hides in a stall. He knows now that Hyosang is his soulmate. And knows the consequences of pursuing his soulmate in the idol world. He knows that he is going to hurt himself in the end.

“Seokjin,” Namjoon says.

“I’m fine, just give me a minute,” he says.

“I’ll wait,” the younger states.

“No, I’ll be there in a few minutes. Please Namjoon, just go,” he pleads.

          He hears the younger leave. He sighs. His memories flash back to a previous life where Hyosang didn’t exist. He spent that lifetime alone. Seokjin remembers everything, but Hyosang doesn’t. He leaves the restroom and goes back to the studio. Everyone is gathered around the monitor except for Hyosang. He’s sitting on the couch. Seokjin decides to sit beside him.

“I’m sorry about early. I’m not feeling good,” Seokjin says.

“It’s okay. I didn’t get your name,” Hyosang states.

“Seokjin,” Jin replies.

          Hyosang nods and focuses on what the others are doing. They ask Seokjin to sing a part for them and he does. He can feel Hyosang’s eyes on him. His voice cracks at that moment. They tell him to redo it. He does. His voce barely reaches the high note they want him to reach. Namjoon tells him to take a break. He leaves the booth and the younger male hands him a bottle of water. He sips it. Hyosang raises an eyebrow at him. Seokjin feels embarrassed. He sits away from Hyosang this time. He feels sick. He excuses himself again and runs to the restroom. He throws up his breakfast. Seokjin wipes his mouth with tissue and splashes water on his face. The door opens and Hyosang is standing at the door way.

“Namjoon told me to ask if you’re okay,” Hyosang informs.

“I’m fine,” Seokjin replies.

“Are you sure?” the ravenette asks.

“Peachy,” Jin says sarcastically.

“No need to get an attitude. I just asked because the others are worried about you,” Hyosang snaps.

“Sorry,” Seokjin whispers.

          They leave the restroom in quiet. The silence is heavy between them. They enter the studio again and everyone stares at Jin. No one asks if he’s okay. The two sit back on the couch. Seokjin remember a previous lifetime where Hyosang committed suicide before he got to meet him. He spent that lifetime alone. He’s brought back into reality when Namjoon touches his shoulder.

“You should go home today,” Namjoon states.

“I’m fine. I have vocal lessons in an hour anyway,” Seokjin says.

          Namjoon touches his forehead. Seokjin knows he’s getting sick. The younger male tells him to go home if he starts to feel worse. He nods.

“Jin, go home. Missing one practice isn’t going to matter,” Ikje says.

          Seokjin wants to tell him that is will matter. He wants to tell the elder that his voice is the only thing he has. He wants to tell Ikje that he needs to practice every day because he’s not as good as them. Instead he goes back to the dorm. He goes to the room that he shares with Namjoon. He lays down and bundles up in the blanket. He sleeps.

A Previous Lifetime:

          Seokjin is a nine year old kid when his mother tells him that he’s getting a baby sitter. His mother tells him that she has to work extra hours at the hospital. He nods his head. When his mother gets ready for work, the doorbell rings. He goes to open the door and a girl is standing at the door. She has short brown hair and a smile on her face. She says hi to Seokjin. In return he smiles back. His mother comes to greet her. The girl introduces herself as Hyori. Hyori bids Seokjin’s mother good bye. Seokjin is told to behave. He nods and tells his mother goodbye. Hyori asks Jin many questions.

“What’s your favorite color?” she asks.

“Pink!” he exclaims.

“Isn’t that a girly color?” she questions.

“Nope, mother says I can like it too,” he states.

          Seokjin doesn’t understand that she is his soulmate at this age, but he does know that he likes her. He spends most of his afternoons with her. One day, he tells her that he’s going to marry her. She ruffles his hair and tells him to keep his promise. Seokjin sticks out his pinky finger, and they promise each other.

          He turns ten a few months later and he no longer needs a baby sitter. They spend his birthday together. She brought him a present. The present is a handmade bracelet she made. He put it on and wore it. When it’s time for her to leave, she kisses him on the cheek. She tells him to keep his promise. He doesn’t break his side of the promise, but she does. When he’s sixteen, he sees Hyori with another man. Hyori and the man kiss. She has a ring on her ring finger, and he knows that she broke their promise. She doesn’t even notice Seokjin. He runs home and cries himself to sleep. He wants to take off the bracelet and throw it away, but he can’t. He knows now that Hyori and he are soulmates. But in this life time they do not end up together.

Present Day:

“Seokjin,” Namjoon says.

          Seokjin wakes up. Namjoon tells him that Hyosang is going to be sharing their room. The elder asks where Hyosang is going to sleep. The younger says that he’ll share a bed with him and Hyosang can take his bed. The elder male groans and moves closer to the wall. Namjoon sits on the edge of the bed. He asks Seokjin if Hyosang is his soulmate. Seokjin hesitates before nodding his head.

“What are you going to do?” Namjoon asks.

“Nothing, there is nothing I can do. If I decide to do something, one of us is going to get hurt,” Seokjin answers.

“You are going to get hurt more than him,” the younger says.

“It’s better me than him,” Jin replies.

          Namjoon crawls into bed and holds the elder close. Seokjin cries into Namjoon’s chest. The younger threads his fingers through Jin’s hair. Seokjin remembers the first time he met Namjoon. It was several lifetimes ago. Namjoon had run away from and had nowhere to go. Seokjin found him on his porch trying to get out of the rain. He took the younger in and let him stay. Every lifetime after that Seokjin will always find Namjoon. (Namjoon is just like him. They will always search for their soulmates.) Seokjin is thankful for Namjoon for always being there for him and vice versa.

          Hyosang walks in and stops. He mumbles that he walked into a very intimate moment and walks out. Seokjin wants to tell him that it’s not intimate. He wants to tell him that he doesn’t like Namjoon like that. Namjoon laughs. Seokjin pinches him. Namjoon snickers. The elder tells him to move because he needs to wash up, and the brunette does move. He grabs clothes and heads to the bathroom. The bathroom door is locked. He knocks on the door, but no answer.

“Hyosang’s in there,” Hunchul states.

“Great,” he mumbles.

“How are you feeling?” asks Hunchul.

“I’ve been better,” Jin answers.

          The bathroom door opens and Hyosang walks out with a towel wrapped around his waist. Seokjin walks past him and their shoulders brush again. The spark fills Seokjin with warmth. It gives him a sense of familiarity. This time Hyosang stops and stares at him. Seokjin looks at him. The taller male goes to their room. Seokjin knows that he’s not the only one that felt it. Hyosang did too. He goes to the bathroom and takes a shower. He takes his time and relaxes as the hot water hits his body. He steps out of the shower and dries off. He puts his clothes on and heads to the room.

Hyosang is asleep, and Namjoon is reading a book. He tells the younger male to move over and he does. He pulls the blanket over him and closes his eyes. He hears Hyosang’s soft snores and Namjoon’s even breathes. He thinks of a good way to avoid Hyosang, but there isn’t. He yearns for the other male and it hurts him so much.

Namjoon tells him to sleep. Jin tells him that it hurts so much not to have him. The younger knows that it hurts. He whispers comforting words to Jin. And the elder wants to believe him, but he knows how this lifetime is going to end. The younger male tells him to sleep again.

A Previous Lifetime:

          Jinah is the new kid and starts her first day at a new school. She gets there is welcomed by the councilor. She is handed her schedule. She finds her classroom and knocks on the door. The teacher tells her to enter. Jinah walks in the room and notices the bouquet of white tulips on a desk. The teacher asks her to introduce herself. She does. She gets seated next to the empty desk. Class continues and Jinah wonders why there are flowers on the desk. At break, a girl introduces herself as Namjoo. And Jinah knows the girl. They have spent many lifetimes together before this one.

“Why did Ms. Park sit you there of all places?” Namjoo asks.

“I don’t know. Why are there flowers on this desk?” Jinah asks.

“The girl that sat there committed suicide yesterday,” Namjoo answers.

“Namjoo, are you coming?” a girl asks.

“I’ll meet you there, Yoonah,” says Namjoo.

“You should go. She’s waiting on you,” insists Jinah.

          Namjoo leaves. Jinah lays her head on her desk and stares at the flowers. She feels sad even though she didn’t know the girl. She is brought back into reality when students come back to their desks. Class goes on. It’s lunch time a few classes later. Namjoo tells her to eat lunch with her and Yoonah. She does. They sit at a table in the cafeteria, and everyone is whispering quietly. Jinah asks them about the girl. Namjoo tells the elder that it’s not important. Yoonah tells her that that girl’s name was Hyori. Jinah can feel her heart shatter to pieces. She nods her head. She doesn’t want to know anymore.

“She was depressed, at least that’s what I heard. Yesterday, they found her in her bathtub dead,” Yoonah informs.

          Jinah can feel tears fall down her cheeks. Yoona hands her a tissue. Namjoo wants to take it all back. She wants to pull Jinah into her arms as tell her that Hyori wasn’t her soulmate, but she doesn’t. She can’t. Because Jinah knows that it is true that Hyori was, is, her soulmate. Instead she tells Jinah that it’s okay. Jinah knows that it’s not okay. Her soulmate left her before she got to meet her. Yoonah excuses herself and leaves first. Namjoo tells Jinah that they finally found each other. Jinah tells Namjoo that she’s sorry. The younger shakes her head.

“Jinah, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t going to tell you,” Namjoo states.

“No, I should know. It’s my right to know,” says Jinah.

“Is Yoonah your soulmate?” the elder asks.

          Namjoo nods her head. And Jinah is happy for her. She really is. Namjoo knows that the elder is happy for her, but she is also sad. The younger holds the elder’s hand. Jinah tells her that it’s okay. But it’s not okay, they both know this. When lunch is over, they go back to class. They sit in their seats. Jinah quietly goes through the things left in Hyori’s desk. She pulls out a notebook and flips through it. She finds doodles and writings. On one page there is a paragraph addressed to her.

‘Jin, I’m sorry. We didn’t meet in this life. I’m sorry that you have to spend this time alone. I’m sorry that you’ll have to be lonely. In another life, we’ll find each other and we’ll be together. I won’t remember any of this or you for that matter. But make me remember. I’m sorry.’

          Jinah cries. Tears fall down her cheeks. She wants to know how Hyori knew because she wasn’t supposed to remember. She wipes her tears away and continues to flip through the notebook. She finds a picture wedged in the back of the notebook. It’s Hyori. Her hair is long but her face is still the same, and so is her smile. She is smiling brightly. Jinah slips the photo back into the notebook. She reaches to the back of the desk and there is something else. She pulls out a bracelet. It was the same one she got before. School ends and Jinah is still sitting there. “You found the things left in her desk?” Namjoo asks. “How did she know?” Jinah questions. “In some lifetimes, the soulmates know a little bit about a previous life. Most of the time it is usually they only remember their soulmate’s names,” Namjoo informs. Yoonah comes to get the younger girl. Jinah tells them goodbye.

          She walks home a little bit slower. Her mother asks her how school went. She tells her that she made friends then goes up to her room. She plays music loud to drown out her crying.

Present Day:

          Seokjin wakes up at six in the morning. He wakes Namjoon up for school. The younger groans and gets ready for school. Jin makes breakfast for them. Hunchul comes out of his room and sits at the table, half awake. Ikje is next to leave his room to the table. The elder tells Jin that Donghyuk stayed at the studio. Hyosang is the last one to wake up. Namjoon says goodbye to everyone and leaves. Seokjin is the last to sit down and eat. Ikje and Hunchul head to the studio with food in hand for Donghyuk.

“Where did Namjoon go?” Hyosang asks.

“School, he’s still in school,” Jin replies.

“How old is he?” the taller questions.

“Seventeen,” answers Jin.

          Hyosang finishes and goes to wash his dishes. Seokjin tells him to leave it and he’ll do when he is done eating. Hyosang asks if he does most of the chores around the dorm. He tells Hyosang that the others are always busy and he doesn’t mind cleaning the dorm. The taller male hums as a reply. Seokjin tells him that he has to go to vocal lessons in a little bit, so he’ll be by himself for a few. Hyosang stops him and feels his forehead. He asks Seokjin if he’s feeling better. Jin holds his wrist to stop him. He feels the warmth from Hyosang. He pulls his hand away because it burns. “Sorry,” Hyosang whispers. Jin rushes to leave. He runs out the door and gets on the early bus. He gets to the company earlier than usual.

He waits for his teacher to get there. His teacher walks in and asks if he’s feeling better. He tells his teacher that he is and the lesson starts. It goes smoothly with minor bumps. His teacher tells him to take care of his voice as he leaves the room. He heads to their studio where Donghyuk and Ikje are usually at. He knocks on the door and opens it. The two males are sitting in front of the computer messing around with different things. He asks if they are coming back to the dorm. They tell him that they’ll be back for dinner, but they’ll leave again. Jin leaves the studio and goes back to the dorm. It’s only noon and he is heading back to the dorm.

He unlocks the door and Hyosang is asleep on the floor. Jin walks over to him and nudges him with his foot. The taller groans. “Hey wake up,” Jin says. Hyosang groans. A pen falls off his chest as he stretches. A notebook was lying next to him. Jin picks up the notebook and pen. “Put it down please,” Hyosang says. “There are beds for a reason,” Jin states. Hyosang sits up and grabs his things from Jin. “Is it pick on the new kid day?” Hyosang asks. The taller male gets up to leave when Seokjin grabs his arm. “Let’s go get lunch, my treat,” Jin says. And Seokjin can feel his hand burn. Hyosang yanks his arm from Seokjin’s grip. He mumbles that he’s not hungry and heads to their room. Jin follows him. The taller male is sitting on the bed. “Seokjin, just leave me alone,” Hyosang says. Seokjin closes the door and sits beside him. “Are you not feeling good?” Jin asks. He reaches up to feel Hyosang’s forehead. Hyosang is warm. Jin can’t tell if it is because of Hyosang or if the taller is getting sick. “I’m fine,” Hyosang says as he pushes Jin’s hand away.

They sit in silence. Jin wants to ask him if he felt the spark too, but he doesn’t. Instead he places a hand on the other male’s shoulder. He smiles softly at him. He doesn’t know what is wrong with Hyosang, but he tells him that it’s okay.

“Do you comfort everyone?” Hyosang asks.

“Not all the time and not everyone. I know what it’s like to be the new kid. It’s scary and you feel alone,” Seokjin confesses.

“Do the others comfort you or just Namjoon?” questions Hyosang.

“I’ve known Namjoon for a long time,” Jin says.

“How long?” the taller asks.

“Let’s go get lunch before Namjoon comes back and tries to eat everything on the menu,” Seokjin states.

          They leave the dorm and goes to a little restaurant not too far. They eat quietly with little conversation. Seokjin listens to Hyosang talk about music and how interesting it is to him. The taller male’s face lights up when he talks about things he likes. “Why did you audition?” Hyosang asks. Seokjin has no real answer. He just did because it felt right. “It felt right, auditioning for this company,” Seokjin answers. The taller male asks if he’s scared knowing that there is a possibility of not being able to debut. Seokjin wants to tell him that he’s more afraid of losing him to this industry. He wants to tell him that he’s scared that he’s not good enough. He doesn’t tell him. Instead he tells him that he’s a bit scared.

“What’s your favorite color?” Hyosang asks.

“Pink!” Seokjin exclaims.

“Isn’t that a girly color?” the taller asks.

“Not really,” Jin says.

          Jin remembers Hyosang asking the same questions and giving the same answers. After they finish eating, they head back to the dorm. Namjoon isn’t back yet, so it’s just the two of them. Seokjin makes a snack for Namjoon when the kid gets home. Hyosang asks if Namjoon gets spoiled by him. He shrugs his shoulders and says he owes the kid. Hyosang asks why. He just tells thing that he just owes Namjoon a lot. The taller male asks him what he likes the do in his free time. Seokjin replies that he likes to watch films. Hyosang hums. Seokjin places the snack in the refrigerator and goes to their room. He tells the taller male that he’s going to take a nap. He also tells him that if Namjoon comes home while he’s still sleeping, to tell him that there is snacks for the younger. Hyosang tells him sorry about earlier. Seokjin waves it off and goes to sleep.

A Previous Life:

“My Prince, you must stay in your room,” Namjoon states.

“No this is my kingdom as well. I will protect it!” Seokjin exclaims.

“Your father tells me to protect you, and you would not let me. My Prince please do as you were told. We are under attack as we speak,” Namjoon explains.

          They hear the screaming and yelling. Seokjin is scared. He lets Namjoon rush him to his room. Once in the room, the younger male tells him to stay quiet and never let anyone in. Namjoon closes the curtains. He stands in front of Seokjin and places a hand on the elder’s cheek. “I’ll be back. Do not let anyone in even if it is me. Stay quiet and hide. Take care my friend,” Namjoon says softly. “Do not leave me. Please,” Seokjin pleads. The younger male shakes his head no and leaves. Seokjin is left alone in his room. He knows deep down that the younger is not going to come back. He waits anyway. He still hears the screaming and yelling outside the castle walls. He hides behind his bed when someone comes through the window. He places his hands over his mouth, so he won’t scream. He hears the footsteps walking around the room until they stop. The footsteps stop beside him and looks at the person. And Seokjin knows him. He stands up and faces the man. Seokjin has been looking for him.

“Oh Prince, you flatter me with your presence, but I’m here to take you with me, he says.

“I’d rather die than