The creaking of the bicycle spokes accompany the steady rhythm of Jongin’s pedaling as she cycles down the street. The dry, hot wind whips through her long chocolate locks and all she really wants is to go inside where there’s air conditioning and more importantly - food. She’s on her way to Kyungsoo’s house, where she passes by the same boring cookie-cutter houses on the same boring street she cycles to every week.

Kyungsoo lives in the fancy part of the suburbs where the houses are two to three stories high with perfectly manicured lawns and sprinklers on timers that are probably the reason why the whole country’s in a drought, and Jongin never really fails to scoff at the fact. It’s not that she’s jealous of the other’s living in comparison to her cramped flat she shares with her mother, but more so that she enjoys making fun of others for being able to live easily and pretentiously just because they have the means to do so. But it’s not as if Kyungsoo is anything like those stuck-up socialites - and maybe that’s why Jongin likes her so much. Kyungsoo was definitely different.

Jongin pulls into her best friend’s driveway, dumping her bike on the concrete and not bothering with locking it up since nobody in this rich neighbourhood would want to steal the ty second-hand thing anyway. She bangs on the door a few moments before Kyungsoo opens it with a bright smile etched on her pretty lips and her raven hair settling around her face as if she just ran there, causing the other to automatically grin in return. They hug as if they haven’t seen each other in ages, and for Jongin, it really does feel like that every time she sees the elder again. The brunette lingers in the hug for a second too long, subtly breathing in Kyungsoo’s expensive perfume as she tries to savour the warm feeling pooling in her stomach at the closeness.

“Hey, Jong, what’s up?” The two hugging girls quickly break away as they both turn to Chanyeol, who’s leaning against the wall with an easy smirk on his handsome face. Jongin tries not to let her smile downturn at Chanyeol’s presence, but she can’t help the bitter taste in when he wraps his lean arms around Kyungsoo’s waist from behind and they quietly chuckle together as if sharing a funny inside joke.

“I’m good. Just tryna enjoy my summer since graduation, you know.” The other two nod at the statement, agreeing wholeheartedly. They move to the grand kitchen where Jongin immediately raids the fridge whilst trying her best to ignore the whispering and grabby hands she sees from the corner of her eye.

Soon enough, they break out the beers and cigarettes and Jongin’s not sure how, but she eventually ends up sitting atop the granite kitchen island facing Kyungsoo as they take turns inhaling a shared stick of tobacco. Chanyeol’s somewhere in the living room, taking swigs of ale and staring at the television distractedly. 

“Hey.” Jongin looks up as Kyungsoo whispers to her and tries not to stare too deeply into her sparkling eyes when the latter blows the smoke at her, inches away from . Jongin thinks she can almost feel the delicate atmosphere around her, feel how close Kyungsoo’s face is to hers and how their legs are pressed together. 

But then again, maybe it’s just the alcohol clouding her hazy mind.

“Hey, yourself.” The brunette giggles as she peaks up at her best friend through her lashes, suddenly self-conscious at the almost intense stare she receives in return.

“Sorry Yeol crashed our hangout day. He just kinda showed up.” Kyungsoo tugs at her bangs in a subconscious manner of rare bashfulness, and Jongin thinks that she’s absolutely adorable.

The younger takes the other’s hand and twines their fingers together to reassure her, as they’ve always done as their own token gesture of comfort. “It’s okay. It’s totally fine,” Jongin lies easily, only a tad bit glad when Kyungsoo looks immensely relieved at her words.

It’s not okay. It’s not fine.

—

    Jongin and Kyungsoo have known each other since the beginning of first grade, and have been best friend since just six months after that. Their friendship easily forged when they were assigned as buddies on a school trip to the museum, and they’ve been inseparable since. Jongin - back then - had been the painfully shy new girl who didn’t know anybody and especially didn’t fit in with the preppy, prim students of the high-end performing arts school her mother had enrolled her in. And though it took a small dent out of her mom’s bank account to put Jongin in the special school, she insisted her daughter pursue her dream of becoming an all-rounded, classically trained dancer. Because her mother would do anything for her and vise-versa, Jongin then became even more determined to work hard at school and make her proud to have sent her there. She wanted to make sure she would become successful and affluent so her single parent wouldn’t have to work so hard anymore, especially after all she’s sacrificed for Jongin.

Kyungsoo knows about all of this, of course. She knows how incredibly dedicated and persistent Jongin is with keeping up with her studies and dance classes. Knows that though her best friend has been through a lot, all her hard work is definitely going to pay off eventually, and she couldn’t be more proud of her. 

The two girls have been through everything together, and would never give up their friendship for the world. Kyungsoo and Jongin have been there through each other’s ups and downs and have always pushed each other through the difficult times, never failing to console the other even at the littlest signs of discomfort. And when Jongin one day contemplates when her platonic feelings for her best friend turned into not-so platonic ones, she realizes that maybe that little spark of attraction - that has now grown into a bursting flame - has always been there since day one.

Jongin remembers how blown away she was by Kyungsoo’s kindness on that trip to the museum, how bright her cute little smile was when they joked together on the bus there and back. The younger had been completely intrigued at first at how easy-going, but also intelligent Kyungsoo acted towards everyone, and how much she wished she could be the same. Jongin definitely thinks she’s been at least a little bit infatuated with Kyungsoo since then, even if she didn’t know what those tingly feelings in the pit of her stomach meant, at the time.

The two conquer elementary, middle, and high school together, watching each other grow up into promising, fine young adults, and Jongin thinks it was only inevitable when their perfect little duo of just the two of them breaks apart. They kept mostly to themselves and spend almost all of their time together, but with Kyungsoo’s abundance in beauty and brains to match, she easily becomes popular in high school. (And sure, Jongin had a few admirers of her own, but it was nothing in comparison to the amount of adoration Kyungsoo received everyday. Today, Jongin wishes those were the least of her problems.)

Halfway through the eleventh grade, Kyungsoo meets Chanyeol, and Jongin experiences her first touch of heartbreak. Before he showed his true colours, Chanyeol was a shy, wide-eyed boy who one day admitted that he had liked Kyungsoo since the end of middle school. Always one for the adorable, albeit charming, Kyungsoo had easily agreed to a date with the boy. Now, a year and a half later, the couple are still as strong as ever, and Jongin doesn’t know how much longer she can stifle the pinpricks of pain she feels in her chest at the sight of the other two together.

Before, it had always been just Kyungsoo and Jongin, Jongin and Kyungsoo. They had just each other, and that’s all they really needed. On the rare occasions where they weren’t together, it was only because Jongin was focusing on her dance classes whilst Kyungsoo focused on her singing classes, and they really wouldn’t have it any other way. They had even applied and gotten accepted to the same prestigious performing arts university and had made plans to move in together to continue their close friendship in their path through adulthood. But with Chanyeol in the picture as an evident constant in Kyungsoo’s life, Jongin’s not even sure anymore where the future lies for them - and that’s what scares her the most.

Jongin considered telling her best friend of her true feelings, many times, of course. But there’s always been the underlying fear of losing Kyungsoo in the aftermath of imminent rejection (besides the glaringly obvious fact that she clearly wasn’t interested in girls like Jongin was), which would surely ruin any type of relationship Jongin could have with the elder, platonic or otherwise - forever. There was no way she’d risk that high of a chance of destroying one of the only good things she possesses in her already strained life, so she doesn’t let herself consider the thought ever again. Besides, Kyungsoo had her loving boyfriend now; there was no need for Jongin and her stupid sappy feelings and her stupid attraction when she couldn’t even make Kyungsoo as happy as Chanyeol did. It was clear as day for Jongin that she could never be with Kyungsoo in the way she so desperately longed for, though it didn’t make the thought sting any less.

So, Jongin learns to live with bright, heart-shaped smiles directed at someone else and learns how to share her best friend with another. She didn’t think it would hurt so much to see Kyungsoo as happy as she was with Chanyeol, to hear her gush about how cute and sweet and perfect he was - but it does. It hurts like hell and Jongin is already in so deep that she can’t even do much more than lie through her teeth at how ecstatic she is for her best friend and how she wishes her the best for her relationship. She pretends that she’s not curled up in a ball in her bed with tears streaming down her face when Kyungsoo texts her that they can’t hangout anymore because she has a date with Chanyeol. She pretends she doesn’t feel a physical wrenching in her gut when the two deeply kiss in front of her. Jongin pretends about a lot of things.

But it still hurts so, so much.

—

    “Hey, you coming to our grad party this weekend, right?” It’s a late Friday afternoon, and for once Jongin has Kyungsoo to herself. By we, Kyungsoo means her and Chanyeol, and it takes an immense amount of effort for Jongin not to wince at her words. She looks up at the elder in the reflection of the mirror from where she’s tying up her hair. “Of course. I already told you I would.” 

The couple are having a joint graduation party because they thought they should celebrate the occasion together in one place. Jongin only had a small, special dinner with her mom for her graduation, and though Kyungsoo had offered to include her name on the invitations, Jongin didn’t want to impose on their special event that they had planned together for months already. It was a more Kyungsoo-plus-Chanyeol event; the golden couple who quickly rose to popularity in high school because of their good-looks and smarts. It was the end of the year party that everyone was dying to be invited to because of the chance to hang out with the most esteemed pair of students in school. (A pair that did not include Jongin.)

Kyungsoo grins at her response, “Okay, okay. Just checking.” Jongin returns it with a small smile of her own that quickly fades away when she sees Kyungsoo turn around and take off her shirt in the mirror. She tries her best to look away - she really does - but the sight of Kyungsoo’s bare, lightly toned back is too captivating when her arms lift over her head with her top. From here, Jongin could count every single little mole littering the expanse of her milky skin, and she feels a slight ache of longing in her gut. God, how she longs to run her hands over that smooth skin and trace her lips over every freckle, to map out and memorize every constellation on her body.

Jongin’s quickly broken out of her reverie when Kyungsoo’s phone rings, and the latter quickly pulls on her pajama top before reaching for the device on her bed. The younger ignores the hey, babe that comes out of Kyungsoo’s mouth and rushes to the bathroom to give her some privacy. It takes the entirety of Jongin brushing her teeth, washing her face, and getting ready for bed for Kyungsoo to hang up with Chanyeol, and when she does, she looks extremely upset.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Jongin sits beside her best friend on the bed, irritation slowly settling in as she realizes it must have been something Chanyeol said over the phone.

Kyungsoo tucks a strand of raven hair behind her ear, a clear sign of distress. “Chanyeol’s a ing idiot, that’s what’s wrong.” She leans down on her pillow, staring at the ceiling with tears slowly welling up in her eyes, and Jongin is too alarmed to ask for the elder to elaborate in case she ends up feeling worse just talking about it. They’re both lying down on the bed now, Jongin leaning on her side to look up at the other

After a long pause, Kyungsoo turned to the younger with a deep sigh. “He thinks we’re not working out, anymore. Said he wants to break up. He’s said that a couple of times before and we’ve been having problems for a while now but I always thought we could work through them, you know? I guess it’s for real this time.” There are steady tears running down her cheeks now, and Jongin thinks that her face is too beautiful to be marred with them. She reaches her hand up to wipe them away shakily, giving away her surprise at the situation. She never even thought the perfect couple would have relationship issues since that’s just what they are; perfect.

“Oh, I didn’t know. I’m sorry,” Jongin whispers the only thing she can think of to help console her friend. Kyungsoo cracks a horribly bitter smile at the apology. “That’s just the thing; he said it’s because you and I spend too much time together and that I should choose between the two of you. He’s under the impression that I like someone else because of how I’m apparently not as into him as usual. Which is dumb because who the hell else would I be developing feelings for when I only hang out with you two. Ugh, I don’t know. He’s stupid.” She huffs out, glaring at the ceiling again, unaware of how affected Jongin is by her words. The brunette feels her heart pounding in her chest when she whispers, “So, are you? I mean, choosing?” 

Kyungsoo looks back down at Jongin in bewilderment but her expression softens when she sees the worry and insecurity written all over the other’s face. “Well, I don’t have to now, do I? Chanyeol and I are over. And we can go back to our dynamic duo without that . Just like old times, yeah?” The older girl pulls Jongin into a hug, letting her curl into her side like they used to do when they were little, at their sleepovers when Jongin couldn’t sleep because there was thunder rumbling outside. Jongin feels cozy and warm, feels safe and protected, and she wishes she could stay like this forever. Even if Kyungsoo could never really be hers, even just staying like this as long as possible would be fine with her. 

She then wonders what would happen at the party tomorrow - since Kyungsoo and Chanyeol were the ones hosting it together. She asks Kyungsoo about it and the other just sighs wearily. “We’re still doing it, but just not saying anything about the breakup. He’ll probably be too busy trying to hook up with that Baek chick to care. It’s my graduation too, and I intend to celebrate it to the fullest.” She ends with a giggle when she faces Jongin again, and the latter is relieved so see that she’s feeling better. 

They stay in their cozy cocoon of blankets for the rest of the night as they watch movies on Kyungsoo’s plasma screen TV mounted on the wall. But Jongin isn’t really watching, just staring blankly as she goes over the night’s events in her head. Though she hates to admit that she’s a little bit glad Kyungsoo and Chanyeol have broken up, she’s more concerned with the way Kyungsoo seems to be taking it. It’s as if she’s not really affected, like she expected it to happen anyway. And maybe she did expect it, and that just makes Jongin feel worse for never asking about how her best friend’s relationship was going. Kyungsoo never even seeked her out about her problems, always shouldering them by herself and not expecting comfort from anyone else. All Jongin can do now is be there for her best friend and support her in whatever way she can. She will be alright, Jongin thinks, everything will be okay, because I’ll make sure of it. 

Halfway through the second film, Kyungsoo falls asleep on the pillow, facing away from Jongin’s side. The younger leans over to check that she’s really sleeping before she turns the television off and turns out the lights. She lies down as close as she can to the other without touching her before whispering, “I know they say time heals all wounds, but I don’t think I’m ever gonna get over you, Soo. God, how do I stop myself from loving you anymore.” Jongin sighs wistfully and turns the other way so that they’re back to back to try ands settle into a fitful sleep, completely missing the slight upturn of Kyungsoo lips.

—

The grad party ends up being a huge hit, as expected. Hundreds of students show up, and it end up being a Really Good idea that they’re having it at Kyungsoo’s almost-mansion of a house when her parents are out of town. There are graduated students milling about everywhere, smoking whatever is being handed around and drinking whatever they can find. There’s an impromptu dance floor in the middle of the living room with heavy bass thumping through Kyungsoo’s home speaker system with lots of grinding and undulating bodies as some semblance of dancing. Jongin and Kyungsoo spend a lot of the time in the middle of the mass of bodies, moving with the music and cheering loudly along with the rest of their friends. They both greatly past tipsy at this point, what with their earlier shot contest, but neither really care as they let their inhibitions go and fully enjoy the moment. 

Kyungsoo’s holding onto Jongin’s hips, moving side to side with the other as Jongin runs her hands through her own hair, feeling hotter and hotter at the piercing look the other sends her. Suddenly she realizes how close they are in proximity and the sweltering heat of the room from the gyrating bodies around them. Jongin feels the background setting and sounds of the screaming students melt away as she looks straight into Kyungsoo’s eyes, leaning closer still. The elder looks down at her lips as Jongin hers in a nervous anticipation, and she definitely doesn’t miss the obvious signal. Jongin’s close enough to feel the other’s breath on her lips, and all she’s thinking is that she really ing wants this. 

She’s so, so close to Kyungsoo when suddenly the air gets knocked out of her lungs as someone forcefully yanks her back by the hair. Jongin slams down onto the tiled floor, and through the acute ringing in her ears, she can only register Kyungsoo screaming a Chanyeol, what the !? She can’t move her head much without an agonizing pain shooting through her temples, but she does see the way Chanyeol is shoving at Kyungsoo, screaming at her with drunken slurred words and extreme fury written all over his face. Everyone around them has gathered in a wide circle to watch the spectacle, completely entertained by the show.

“I ing knew it! ing dyke! How dare you ing look at her when you had me! Disgusting! You’re ing disgusting!” 

And Jongin doesn’t know how or where she gets the strength to do so, but she shakily stands up and makes the split second decision to tackle Chanyeol to the ground when she sees the absolute fear and horror all over Kyungsoo’s face. When Chanyeol hits the floor, Jongin drops down onto his torso and starts punching his ing stupid face. She hits and hits and hits, until her knuckles are bruised and he’s completely marred with blood. She punches with all the strength she has, with all the feelings she’s bottled up inside about Kyungsoo, with all the pain she’s ever felt because of her love for her best friend, until the boy is out cold - and even then she doesn’t stop. 

Jongin only freezes when a shocked Kyungsoo pulls her up by her arms, quickly tagging her along to the bathroom, away from their spectators and locking the door. Before the elder can get a word in edgewise, Jongin immediately rushes to apologize.

“I’m sorry, god I’m so sorry. He was just saying all that ty stuff and I was so angry and oh my go-” She doesn’t get to finishes her sentence as Kyungsoo presses her lips to hers, silencing her. It takes Jongin a moment in absolute shock to realize what is happening, and another moment for her to respond to the kiss. She presses her fingers to Kyungsoo’s jaw, tilting her head and kissing her back eagerly likes she’s been wanting to do since forever. Jongin feels ecstatic, can feel the blood pumping through her veins from the combination of alcohol, adrenaline, and Kyungsoo, and she thinks her life’s never been more perfect than it is right now. 

Kyungsoo pulls away with a pretty pink brush on her cheeks and red lips, and Jongin thinks she’s fallen in love all over again.

“Is this…is this okay?” The younger almost wants to laugh at the unsureness she sees in Kyungsoo’s eyes, but decides that into again is a more appropriate response. 

Jongin should probably wash the blood off of her hands and visit a hospital to check her head for possible trauma, and Kyungsoo should probably shoo everyone out of her house so the two can have a long discussion about feelings and the future, but for now, they’re both content to stay like this, in each other’s arms, where they both belong.

And Jongin thinks, Yeah this is okay. This is fine.

This is more than fine.

—

***Sorry the ending was kinda rushed...it was really late and I just really wanted to finish heh >.<