NOTICE: This is my first Monsta X fic, second "you" fic, and first fic written after a year break so sorry if this is a little meh. Anyway, enjoy! 

“What are you thinking about?” Hyungwon asked as you two sat beside each other on the park bench. The weather was pushing 85^oF but the cool breeze kept it bareable. 

You stayed silent for a moment letting the wind blow your hair back from your face. Your eyes met his before saying,“Not much,” you smirked, “except that your freckle is a lot more noticeable in person.”

Hyungwon brought his fingers lightly to his bottom lip. Your eyes set once again on the dark brown speck nestled on the rosy skin. His lips cracked a small smile as Hyungwon chuckled at your teasing, “Yea, it’s all the makeup I wear on stage and on TV.” he bit his lip quickly making it become even more pink. “Most fans might not know I have it, actually.”

“I know about it.” You said smiling at him again while meeting his dark eyes. It was a little difficult to look at Hyungwon sometimes. Your eyes could never decide whether to focus on dewy eyes, plump lips or a cute button nose. 

“You’re different though…”

That was partially true. You had known Hyungwon long before he left to Seoul to follow his dreams. It had been 5 years since he left and almost 2 years since you had last seen him.

Times like this only came once in a blue moon: where you two sat inches away from each other in Gwangju, exchanging the smallest and most light hearted of words.  His absence had started to feel more natural than these rare occasions. You almost felt like every other one of Hyungwon’s fans on the regular. You would catch yourself admiring him on the TV screen as a beautiful idol and slowly forgetting that he was once just a regular boy in your life.

Sometimes you would tune into No.Mercy or Deokspatch and wonder if that was really the same Chae Hyungwon from Gwangju that you had sat on the subway together while eating breakfast. Was he the same boy that pulled your hair playfully as you teased by calling him ‘mulgogi-mouth’ and ‘mantis boy’? 

Hyungwon will always be Hyungwon. You would try to remind yourself.

However, sometimes uncertainty would sink in and you’d catch yourself thinking, he’s not Chae Hyungwon from Gwangju anymore; he’s Hyungwon from Monsta X. Those were the times when you really wanted a phone call or a text message from him. But those were rare too.

Honestly, you had forgotten he even had the freckle on his lip. Seeing it again after so long gave an eerie reminder of whom he was now and who he used to be. Old friend, now newly debuted idol.

Were you really much different from any other girl Hyungwon would run into from here on out as celebrity or any girl he ever knew from his hometown?

“Not really.” You laughed despite yourself to what Hungwon said.  The corner of his lips fell slightly at your response.

“What do you mean?” He said scooing in closer to you with concerned eyes.

“It’s nothing.’ You held your arms across your chest as if to protect your own worried heart from falling out onto the floor. “Don’t worry about it. Let’s go. ” You rose up from your spot on the bench, but before you could take a step away Hyungwon caught your hand.

His dark blonde fringe hung across his eyes and his shoulders were tense. “Tell me.”

You stood silent. You never told him how you felt. Not once in all the years you two spent together. You imagined that you were just a sister figure to him and nothing more. And saying something about it, about how you always felt right sitting beside him and how talking to him always felt so easy compared to other guys. You could never tell him that after he left. You always imagined that one day he would come back to Gwangju just to see you and that when you met him at the airport he would lean into your mouth and you would finally know if his lips felt as soft as they looked. You could never say these things. Especially not now that he was famous.

Hyungwon’s grip softened up and he stood up to face you. “I’m sorry. You don’t have to tell me if you're not comfortable but just know that whatever it is- I’ll listen.” His sincerity took you by surprise.

You swallowed to ease your dry throat; you had to say something now. “I just…wish you never left. I know it’s your dream, Hyungwon, and I’m happy for you, but-“, you felt the warm tears start to build and you faced the floor to hide them, “I always thought that you and I would have a different future than this. Maybe, one where we were," you felt the tears welling up and your voice hitched despite your efforts to stay calm "…maybe one where you…” 

You felt his slender finger push up on your chin and you looked up. Hyungwon was smiling again. “I wanted that too. Even now, when I’m in my dormroom alone, you’re one of the people I think about. But I was too shy to ever confess.” He chuckled lightly and his hand fell from your chin. “You’re braver than me.”

Your eyes grew wide and you felt a pang of excitement from Hyungwon’s words but also an even sharper pang of uncertainty. “Hyungwon, you say all this now but, I know that when someone becomes famous…the relationships they had fade out and I feel it. I feel myself fading from you. Like we were never a part of eachothers's lives. I'm scared that I’ll fade out.”

“No,” Hyungwon said with a smile painted on his near perfect lips, it contrasted with his slighty tired eyes ”you haven’t faded in these past 5 years. You won’t in the next 5 and the 5 after that, I won’t let you, okay?”

His hand touched your cheek lightly and his other was still interlaced with yours. “Hyungwon,” the name was merely a whisper but he knew what it meant.

He leaned in slowly and you finally felt it. The softness and the warmness you imagined when you were alone at night. You felt the slight wetness when your lips parted and the smoothness of his tongue gliding across yours. You inhaled his scent and felt the rough skin of his hand on your cheeks and then slowly slide down to your waist. You reached toward him blindly and let your hands rest on his neck to pull him closer. 

It probably wasn’t more than two minutes long but it didn’t matter. It was the scene you replayed in your head as you stood at the airport the next day watching Hyungwon carry his luggage.

“I’ll be back.” He said laying a soft kiss to your cheek. “I’ll always come back.” He whispered the words onto your skin.

“I’ll wait for you.” You whispered in return. "I'm brave, remember?" you lightly tapped the freckle on his lip with one finger. He chuckled and you watched as he said goodbye to his family members. He waved to you as he rolled his luggage along the shining white linoleum floors and you retuned the gesture knowing that he would always make his way back home. 

Author's note: Pretty short. ^^; Upvotes, comments and subs are always welcomed. Thank you for reading. I know Hyungwon is a lot more shy than this but oh well. :) I want to write a Minhyuk fic next; he's a fun dude. Monsta X is my new obession. lol

EXO s: Tongue Ring, Extra Krispy, Child's Play, Put it in Reverse, Kissing the Tears Away, Something About Us, Hitting the Books