they dated back in high school and broke up before sanghyuk was even close to graduation, but jaehwan was three years older and said something cliche about him growing up and spreading his wings (read as: out growing sanghyuk and wanting opportunities to date other people) into the new world as an adult, plus he’d be attending some really well known university by the coast and by the time they broke up (it wasn’t mutual, sanghyuk was dumped on his before he even had a chance to fully come to terms with his uality) he didn’t even bother with finding out which school it was that jaehwan was going to spread his wings in.

so three years later when he graduates (and forgets the known as jaehwan) and starts college is also when he comes in late during the third week and has to sneak in while the professor is typing away at his computer, he takes a seat in the far back by some guy with horn rimmed glasses and the most ridiculous perm in history. he leans over a little closer than necessary, breathing hard to catch his breath, bangs sticking to his forehead with sweat and asks, “attendance wasn’t taken yet, right?”

his desk mate seems to stir a little before looking up and it basically hits sanghyuk like a tidal wave. “nah, he’s just been sitting— holy .”

and there he is, jaehwan in horn rimmed glasses and the world’s most ridiculous perm and sanghyuk thinks he’a gonna hurl so before anything else can be said, he dashes out the class and has hakyeon write him a plausible excuse to e-mail his professor with.

it’s about a week later where he doesn’t have any classes (or at least any classes with jaehwan in it) when he hears the violent profanities being screamed across the hall. of course it freaks sanghyuk the hell out because what the is going on? his roommate sungjae dismisses it easily enough, asking if sanghyuk wants to go with him to get something to eat, but on this rare day off, sanghyuk would prefer to try and sleep in a little more (it’s already two in the afternoon when sungjae had asked).

not five minutes later after he’s managed to doze off again does he hear a string of ‘s’ and loud groaning, prompting him to cover his face with his pillow. he really should have looked into getting an apartment rather than moving into the dorms on campus. somehow he manages to fall back asleep through the cursing at least until the loud bang, it stirs him awake so quickly that he basically falls off the bed and onto the rank carpet that he’s pretty sure has never been vacuumed since the sixties, it smells faintly of weed.

so that’s it, sanghyuk scrawls up off the floor in a heated demeanor, rushing out of his room and knocking hard against the door directly across from his, he’s still in his pajamas and his hair is an absolute mess but he could care less right now.

the face that greets him when the door opens causes his stomach to drop all the way down to his knees, inevitably causing all the irritation in him to weld up into a huge bubble, only to burst into thin air.

"uh, can i help you?" jaehwan asks, his lips are in a straight line and his tone is level if not incredibly perplexed as to why his younger ex boyfriend is standing in his doorway with a bird’s nest for hair at three in the afternoon.

it takes sanghyuk a few seconds to remind his brain to function, he’s got to give it commands to remember to talk and most importantly to remember to allow the passage of air into his lungs. when he finally recalls how to breathe, he’s thankful he at least doesn’t forget the reason he came over in the first place. “yeah, could you keep it down?”

and something flickers across jaehwan’s face and sanghyuk has to mentally stop himself from throwing a punch right in between jaehwan’s eyes. the other boy lets out a snort, albeit soft but there’s the familiar incredulity in it that sanghyuk had thought he had forgotten. “what? are people trying to sleep this fine afternoon?”

"yes," sanghyuk hisses out and he cannot believe this .

"i’ll try to keep it down for the kids," says jaehwan in the most patronizing tone sanghyuk has ever heard from him. he starts to recall how bitter their relationship had ended and he questions why he ever bothered with jaehwan in the first place, especially if the other ended up looking like a complete dweeb after three years. in high school, jaehwan was admittedly hot, he had clean cut hair that was usually styled up and he had worn contacts and dressed in clothes that teased sanghyuk with outlined curves and collar bones exposed. now, he resembled a blind poodle who seemed to live without looking in a mirror (and okay, sanghyuk can barely argue with how he just waltzes out of his room without even washing his face).

"just stop screaming like you’re getting ed because it’s disturbing and i’m pretty sure you’re alone in there," he says with his eyes narrowed and head lowered.

jaehwan makes a mocked offended noise before slamming the door in sanghyuk’s face and sanghyuk is both relieved and completely ticked. well, at least he doesn’t have to deal with any lingering awkwardness because jaehwan is as much as an as he was when they dated.

—-

"sounds saucy," hakyeon says with his eyebrows dancing and taekwoon has to shove him to stop. it’s uncomfortable for them all.

"it’s annoying actually, he’s such a ."

"at least you know his looks went to after dumping you, that’s gotta help your ego some, right?" namjoo offers as solace but sanghyuk can’t completely agree. jaehwan still looks the same, he just doesn’t present himself the same (but sanghyuk won’t allow himself to think that because then he’s admitting that jaehwan is still hot).

he grunts in reply.

they switch the subject quickly though because sanghyuk becomes lost in deep thought and hakyeon would rather disrupt his boyfriend rather than sanghyuk. he met the couple on his first day of school, getting lost and bumping into a dreadful taekwoon that may or may not have made sanghyuk piss his pants a little with the glare and deadly aura he emitted. hakyeon to this day still says that’s just taekwoon’s friendly face, sanghyuk disagrees.

in the end he goes back to an empty dorm room (sungjae has the decency to stay somewhere else for the night whenever he takes his girlfriend out and sanghyuk is so thankful) and tries really hard to focus on his essay that he was supposed to have half finished over two weeks ago, but super smash bros had been calling his name at the time and sanghyuk still gleams over beating minwoo’s repeatedly in one sitting.

so it isn’t much of a surprise when he hears the extremely loud ‘mother er’ coming across the hall and he wonders why no one else but him ever seems to be disrupted by it. sanghyuk knows what he has to do, he has to ignore it, throw his headphones on and listen to those trey songz tracks that taekwoon had recommended him with round, hopeful eyes. he does that for a good half hour before his phone dies and jaehwan’s curses penetrate the thin dorm walls and infiltrate sanghyuk’s thinking space.

just what the hell is making him swear like that? sanghyuk knew jaehwan wasn’t a saint, he wasn’t one to ever hold back on the colorful vocabulary especially when he was feeling heated. so he must be heated now, yelling loud enough for the whole dorm to hear, for sanghyuk to hear.

it escalates so far into the night that sanghyuk finds himself standing on one side of jaehwan’s door again, fist ready to knock and then he hears: “what the yoshi, don’t you dare ing pass me up, i will end you.”

and oh my god, sanghyuk starts rapping his knuckles against the door in a frenzy, his face almost breaking from the grin he’s sporting.

"what?" jaehwan scowls when he opens the door and his expression momentarily falters from seeing sanghyuk again.

"you’re playing mario kart," he says, shaking his head a little in silent disbelief.

"yeah, so?" jaehwan his hip out to the side and folds his arms across his chest. the action is just so jaehwan that sanghyuk can’t stop himself from grinning even wider.

"oh my god, you’re playing alone aren’t you." all those nights flood back into sanghyuk’s mind as he recalls the memories of jaehwan begging him to sleep over so that they can play, eventually having to call sanghyuk up just so he could complain about how bowser was an absolute cheater and no wonder why princess peach never wanted to go with him.

"you don’t know that," jaehwan says, shoulders taut and face artistically blank. he’s ing lying and sanghyuk knows.

"i can’t believe you’re playing a multiplayer game alone," snorts sanghyuk, he’s enjoying this a little too much. jaehwan is such a dweeb.

"no i am not!" he whines and sanghyuk inhales sharply. he’d almost completely forgot the sound of jaehwan whining, he’d almost forgotten a lot of jaehwan-esque things until recently.

"you are such a liar!" sanghyuk recovers his teasing tone quickly and jabs at jaehwan’s ribs with his finger. it’s a mistake because in that instant, jaehwan pulls him by his wrist and tugs him through the threshold of his room, shutting the door behind them.

"sit your down and let me kick it all the way off rainbow road you little prick," he says as he shoves a controller into sanghyuk’s hands.

it’s kind of weird and a little awkward because this wasn’t the situation he had expected to see himself in and he’s also still got that essay to finish but he guesses it can wait as jaehwan plops down on the couch and looks up at sanghyuk, waiting.

"you’re going to regret being born," sanghyuk says and he decides that whatever awkwardness that needs to be brought up can be ignored a little longer, he and jaehwan were never good at talking after all.

—-

"so, you’re friends now?" namjoo asks with a skeptical look, hakyeon imitating her expression.

"i guess?" sanghyuk shrugs, flipping the pen in his hand and trying hard to ignore the judgmental looks his friends are giving him. "i just go over to play video games sometimes, it’s not like we’re doing anything."

"except being alone in a room with the lights off for hours while yelling and screaming profanities," she says and then adds, "not to mention you two have a history of being romantically involved in the past."

"it was hardly romantic," sanghyuk says with a dismissive wave of his hand, "and sometimes his roommate hyunsik is there too."

"oh, he’s cute," hakyeon unhelpfully adds in and taekwoon gives him a hard look. "what? he is."

"that aside," namjoo sighs, "have you guys even talked? like, aside from the latest installment of harvest moon or who’s got the most pokemon or whatever."

sanghyuk doesn’t want to lie to namjoo (especially because she knows when he’s lying too) but he also doesn’t want to say the truth that he and jaehwan don’t talk about anything serious because then his friends will judge him even more and that’s always emotionally taxing. so he opts for shrugging and then quickly changing the subject to trey songz because he knows that’ll stir taekwoon into joining the conversation and will inevitably stop namjoo from her further line of questioning.

"just, be careful, okay?" she manages to squeezes in one last time before they part to their classes and she sighs a little tiredly. "don’t do anything you’ll regret."

—-

"hyuk, i’ve got mario party ten," jaehwan mumbles in the middle of class as he shifts in his seat next to sanghyuk. it’s become a regular thing now for them to sit beside each other during class and it isn’t awkward at all, no, sanghyuk isn’t going to let this become awkward.

sanghyuk finds his face breaking out into a smile because he had been curious about the new mario party since it came out but he hadn’t been able to find the time to purchase it, much less someone to play it with seeing as how minwoo refused to play any video games with him ever again after losing to sanghyuk in smash bros for the fiftieth time. he starts to get excited at the thought of rushing over to jaehwan’s after class is over, but he belatedly remembers he made plans with namjoo to catch the new hunger games movie and he groans. “i can’t tonight, i’m meeting up with namjoo.”

"namjoo?" jaehwans questions, he sounds genuinely curious and sanghyuk had said her name without thinking.

"yeah, she’s from my old cram school," he explains and then frowns, "we can play another night."

they don’t talk much after that and sanghyuk figures it’s because there isn’t anything else that really needs to be said and so he focuses on his notes instead, he almost completely forgets jaehwan is beside him until the class ends and the older male stands from his seat, throwing a “see you later,” over his shoulder as he leaves in a scurry to get out of the class. sanghyuk gets a quick glimpse of jaehwan’s expression and it’s guarded, his eyes shuttered off and he thinks huh, that’s new.

but he can’t dwell on it too long when he’s got namjoo to meet up with and then they have dinner with her girlfriend bomi who acts like a third mom to him (because hakyeon is already his second mom) and by the time he gets home, he’s too strung out to think about jaehwan or his expressions and sanghyuk falls asleep to silence that night (aside from sungjae’s snoring).

—-

it happens because sanghyuk wasn’t careful, it happens because he wanted it to happen and he let it happen because it felt good and familiar and because it was a little too warm for the weather and because jaehwan smelled so ing fantastic that evening and they never talked about it, they didn’t talk about before, about the past or the break up and now sanghyuk is on his back, jaehwan hovering above him with his lips pressed firmly on sanghyuk’s and his tongue down his throat.

it good, really good, even better than sanghyuk can recall when he tries to pull up memories of kissing jaehwan in high school. they were bantering before, arguing about who would win in a fight — ryu or goku — when sanghyuk had leaned too close and then jaehwan had leaned closer and in a hot flurry they crashed against each other, wrestling in a tangle of long limbs on the couch and somehow jaehwan had pinned him on his back and they froze for a moment, breathing harsh and bodies too hot from the lack of ac in the room and jaehwan kissed him and sanghyuk kissed back.

jaehwan still tastes the same and sanghyuk’s amazed he can even remember that because they didn’t kiss much in high school, they hadn’t done much as teenagers, no matter how hormonal they had gotten. it was still too new for them at the time, tense and entirely alien for them to realize they could be attracted to boys as much as they had been told from birth that they had to get married to a pretty girl and have babies with her and get stable jobs to support their family. but now, adults and completely aware of their ual preference, it isn’t weird for them anymore, just invigorating and arousing and good. sanghyuk feels good with jaehwan’s mouth on his, hot and welcoming, pulling him into a state of ecstasy that he hasn’t felt in a long time (or ever). they could kiss like that forever, it isn’t something fast and desperate, but it isn’t slow and intimate either so sanghyuk melts into the rhythm of it quickly and he lets out a moan when jaehwan runs his hand under the front of his shirt. jaehwan’s fingers are smooth against his heated skin and it’s been a long time since sanghyuk’s last been touched like this and he doesn’t even have the time to be embarrassed by it when he moans again as jaehwan bites softly on his bottom lip. they could kiss forever, they really could, but they need to breathe and so it’s jaehwan who pulls away and both he and sanghyuk are staring at each other and there’s something heavy and dark in jaehwan’s eyes as they focus on sanghyuk and that causes his stomach to swim.

they abandon video gaming at least thirty minutes a night just to make out and they still haven’t talked about a damn thing and namjoo’s eyebrows are only going up higher and higher in accusations while hakyeon and taekwoon are of no actual help because they take a month off from school to go on some trip, so sanghyuk is either stuck with a lecturing namjoo for company or jaehwan’s couch and his more than willing mouth and it doesn’t take much but sanghyuk’s libido to decide which one he prefers more.

the next few times, they go even further, jaehwan getting sanghyuk off with a sloppy hand and sanghyuk returning the favor and it wasn’t even that good but god, it felt ing fantastic and sanghyuk doesn’t know if it’s because it’s been awhile since someone else has done that for him or if it’s because it’s jaehwan who had done that for him (he decided on the former because the latter of the two is too much for him to handle) and then jaehwan’s mouth is hot as he drags his lips teasingly along side sanghyuk’s neck and he gently on a spot that’s soft enough where sanghyuk knows it’ll leave a spot if he lets jaehwan linger for too long. it takes all of his willpower to poke a finger into jaehwan’s side, his voice is rugged and borderline raw with arousal when he tells jaehwan to stop or else namjoo will see the mark.

that’s enough to get jaehwan to stop entirely.

"is she your girlfriend?" he asks and his voice sounds like it would have been snappy had he not been lacking air from kissing sanghyuk’s neck.

and that’s ridiculous, that’s absolutely ridiculous because sanghyuk doesn’t like girls. he hasn’t liked girls since he thought he liked yooyoung in the seventh grade and that had ended horribly when he couldn’t get to second base with her because he realized he’d rather be getting felt up by the posters of lee minho on her bedroom wall. it’s so incredibly stupid of jaehwan to ask that because obviously sanghyuk wouldn’t be fooling around with him on a saturday night if he had a ing girlfriend, so exasperatedly he says, “what the . no. no. what the actual , no.”

but jaehwan still looks unbelieving, his eyes shuttered again and of all the things sanghyuk knows about jaehwan, he doesn’t really know what to do when jaehwan gets like this. he leans forward to meet his lips but jaehwan averts him, fluidly moving to the side and casting his eyes downwards in an attempt to hide them. “why would it matter if i left a mark then? why do you care if she sees it?”

and is he serious right now? the mood has been completely ruined for sanghyuk and he feels a different kind of heat boiling in the pits of his stomach and he rolls up off the couch to sit up, his face scrunched up in annoyance. jaehwan doesn’t make a move to join him in sitting, but he doesn’t care anyways. “she’s my friend,” sanghyuk says and then he squints his eyes, “i shouldn’t even have to explain anything to you.”

"and why the hell not?" jaehwan asks, his tone hard.

"because it isn’t like you care. it’s none of your business, she isn’t my girlfriend and you are not my boyfriend." sanghyuk knows his voice is harsh, harsher than it’s ever been, but it’s like all that pent up anger he never got to lash out at jaehwan when they broke up (when he got dumped, he tries not to remember) is resurfacing and it isn’t jaehwan’s business, it really isn’t. who’s he to assume things about sanghyuk and his friends? so what if he’s dating someone or not? that has nothing to do with jaehwan or what he does with jaehwan. they aren’t even properly friends or buddies for that matter and they don’t talk about real things or emotions or what happened between them three years ago and , sanghyuk really thinks jaehwan is such a for ruining the mood.

there’s a pregnant moment where sanghyuk thinks jaehwan is going to stand up and leave, but that’s a dumb thought because this is jaehwan’s room and sanghyuk should be the one leaving. he almost does so until jaehwan says in a soft voice, “you’re right.”

sanghyuk doesn’t know what to do next except stare blankly at the floor and he really wishes hyunsik or kyungsoo or anyone would barge in and make it awkward enough for sanghyuk to leave (as if it isn’t already awkward as hell) then at least he wouldn’t feel like this was a one-sided argument on his part. jaehwan had barely spewed any anger and it was mostly sanghyuk feeling bitter about the past (about jaehwan not being his boyfriend when he used to be and could have continued to be but didn’t) and it makes him feel so guilty that jaehwan has become subdued enough to not spit any harsh words at sanghyuk.

he’s about to say something when jaehwan sits up and offers him a controller, turning on his wii u and looking blankly at the loading screen. “wanna play some mario kart for a bit?” he asks and sanghyuk notes how they’re going to just avoid talking things through for a little while longer and pretend this whole thing never happened. he takes jaehwan up on his offer and the loud profanities start up until baekhyun comes screaming from down the hall and throws sanghyuk back into his own room.

—-

for a while they go back to just playing video games, there isn’t much kissing involved (but that doesn’t mean it hasn’t stopped entirely) and things are sometimes tense but they smooth over quite well because both sanghyuk and jaehwan do such a stand up job at pretending the elephant in the room does not exist. for a while, sanghyuk is a little moody when he isn’t with jaehwan (compensation for not being able to expose all his raw feelings to the other) so namjoo and hakyeon leave him alone and don’t pry into his business dealing with jaehwan, but that doesn’t stop them from inquiring about his school work or lack of personal health when sanghyuk falls asleep in the middle of walking to class one day.

it’s all lackluster at least until one night when sanghyuk can’t sleep (he’s exhausted, he knows, but his mind has never been on the same page as his body) and he finds himself roaming the empty campus parking lot, kicking a half crushed can of soda around. it’s nice at night, especially when all the frat houses have decided against parties in favor of studying for midterms and most of the campus is asleep or cramming and sanghyuk should be in that ratio too but not tonight, not when his mind is swimming in circles and he can’t seem to wrap it around anything really.

he doesn’t know if he should talk to jaehwan, he really should because things had gotten weird — are getting even more weird — between them and even if they laugh and shove each other during the day when playing video games or watching some silly video on youtube, they really do need to talk. sanghyuk had thought he had gotten over this, the black hole of disappointment that tore him up for a while after jaehwan broke up with him. he had been angry for a while — bitter — but the way jaehwan had left had made things seems justifiable, like if he was that much of an then it was okay for sanghyuk to hate and want to forget him. but after the long weeks of despising and cursing his name, much of what sanghyuk felt was black remorse. it was too hard to hate jaehwan as much as sanghyuk believed he should have, because the two had fun together. they made each other laugh and feel comfortable and sanghyuk truly cared for jaehwan, he loved him. so he couldn’t understand where the wrong turn had happened, they didn’t talk about their future, but of course sanghyuk knew jaehwan was going to go to university and pursue his dream career, as would sanghyuk. but breaking up, jaehwan turning into a real douche bag, none of that was really what sanghyuk had in mind when he first kissed the high school senior who found his naruto addiction absolutely endearing.

sanghyuk gets broken from his reminiscent thoughts as he hears footsteps approaching him from behind and he turns to see jaehwan standing in the dark, his curly hair popping out from underneath his red hoodie and his glasses low on the bridge of his nose. “hey.”

"hey," sanghyuk says back and it’s a little breathless. "what are you doing out here?"

"well, it’s a little hard to sleep with all the noise," jaehwan says and sanghyuk rolls his eyes.

"sorry your highness, was i disrupting your beauty sleep?"

"very much so," says jaehwan and he nods his head to the side. "wanna go for a walk?"

sanghyuk hesitates, scuffs his shoes against the asphalt before nodding, walking into step beside jaehwan as they aimlessly head into the night. they walk in a sheet of silence for a while before jaehwan clears his throat and fidgets with the pockets of his hoodie. “we should probably talk.”

"mm," sanghyuk says softly, "there are a few things we should have discussed a while ago."

"like, at the beginning of the term," jaehwan clarifies and lets out a shuddering sigh. "i’m sorry."

"about avoiding the situation or about breaking my heart in high school?" sanghyuk asks with a snort.

jaehwan falters for a second and then shakes his head, “both? but you’re also responsible for the first one too, so you should apologize as well.”

"i can’t believe you’re trying to wheedle an apology out of me right now," says sanghyuk and he smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

"you know you’re partially at fault too," jaehwan grumbles but he shoves his hands deeper into his pockets. "did i really break your heart?"

it sounds incredibly cliche on jaehwan’s tongue but so do a lot of things and sanghyuk tries hard not to sound sarcastic. “yeah.”

"sorry about that too," he says and then another halting sigh. "i didn’t want to break up with you, you know?"

"oh my god, why are you saying this?" sanghyuk groans, scrunching up his face.

"because we gotta talk about it, okay. i was going to college, i couldn’t have a boyfriend in high school, one so much younger at that."

something bubbles up in sanghyuk. “yes, i ing know. so you had your brief fun with me, experimented and ended your senior year happily enough so that you could go to college and say you’ve had enough experience to date any other guy you wanted.”

"that’s not what i mean," jaehwan scowls and sanghyuk returns the expression.

"then what the do you mean? god, you’re always so ing cryptic."

"i am not!" jaehwan defends and then shakes his head in frustration. "did you completely miss the part where i said i didn’t want to break up with you?"

"yes, but you had to. you had to break up with me so you could spread your ing metaphorical wings," sanghyuk knows he sounds so bitter right now and it’s petty and unfair of him, but he doesn’t care. jaehwan is such an .

"i broke up with you because i was holding you back!" he nearly erupts and that’s enough to get both boys to stop in their tracks, white hot flames burning between them both.

"holding me back? from what? i was fourteen, jaehwan, i wasn’t growing up and going off to be some ‘adult’ who couldn’t spend his time babysitting."

"exactly," jaehwan says, his eyes dark and intense, "i couldn’t have you stuck to me when you were so young, do you know how many opportunities you could have missed out on being in a relationship with me? you were young sanghyuk, you still had things to experience and people to meet and i had to grow up and let you grow up too."

"so, what? you think you did this as some kind of ing favor to me? that i should be thankful?" sanghyuk asks and he sounds so strange in his own ears but it doesn’t matter, not when he feels so furious.

"how many people have you dated since we broke up?" jaehwan suddenly brings up the questions and it catches sanghyuk off guard and it’s a monumentally stupid question.

"what the hell does that have to do with anything—"

"just answer the question, sanghyuk."

"four, i’ve dated four other people, okay. in the last three years i’ve dated four other people."

"and i dated none," jaehwan says and his tone is serious and sanghyuk can’t for one minute think otherwise because he knows jaehwan, he can tell when he’s lying and when he’s not and this time even his brain won’t fool him into thinking up an excuse to make jaehwan look like the bad guy. "i didn’t break up with you to date other people, sanghyuk. i broke up with you because i didn’t want you stuck with me and regretting it."

and oh. of course. this is so jaehwan, this is so stupid like him, so mind numbingly, heart wrenchingly stupid of him to think that this is both protecting and exposing sanghyuk. this is why they should have talked more, this is why they should have started talking a long time ago.

"are you an idiot?" sanghyuk spits out, stomping his foot and it’s ing childish but he doesn’t care, jaehwan is far more infantile than he is. "were you dropped at birth? have all those hours of staring at a television set destroyed all your brain cells that you’re completely moronic?"

"excuse—"

"no, i’m not done insulting your intelligence," sanghyuk says and then continues. "have you been smoking too much hemp? hanging out with the campus potheads and singing ing friendship songs with them around a bonfire? are you seriously that stupid?"

"this is getting kind of hurtful now," jaehwan mumbles out and before he can respond with anything snarky (or another whine), sanghyuk’s lips are on his in a second.

when he pulls back, jaehwan’s round eyes are a little wider than usual and he’s about to say something when sanghyuk speaks up first, “i didn’t ing care about the other people i dated, you . i’m still single after all that because none of them were the right ones, none of them were like you.”

if sanghyuk’s blushing from embarrassment, he doesn’t think jaehwan can see it because of the dim street lights and he goes in for another kiss when all he gets in reply is a gaping jaehwan.

“you’re serious?” jaehwan asks and he feels like his kneecaps have been replaced with jelly. sanghyuk only nods once before jaehwan pulls him into a too tight embrace.

they don’t say much after that, just a string of apologies and jaehwan kissing sanghyuk in fervent hot flashes as they try really hard to walk back to jaehwan’s room and they crash on his bed still kissing, still touching and groping and jaehwan’s still apologizing for being a (a stupid one, sanghyuk reminds him) and they don’t do anything else when that pure emotional exhaustion finally catches up with the two. instead, jaehwan holds him closely (sanghyuk isn’t much of a cuddler and he knows jaehwan isn’t either, but it feels nice and— secure like this) and their legs knock uncomfortably against each other’s on the narrow dorm bed (thank god hyunsik spent the weekend at his parent’s house) and it’s nothing but sweetness between them as jaehwan kisses sanghyuk a few more times — softly and just a little bit needy — and like that, sanghyuk falls asleep in jaehwan’s arms.

—-

"so," namjoo drawls out, looking between sanghyuk and jaehwan, "you’re dating now?"

"yeah," they say in unison right before jaehwan kicks sanghyuk off the couch.

"un-ing fair! that’s cheating!" sanghyuk groans from his spot on the floor, 3ds held tightly in hand as he tries to re-steady himself on his elbows.

they’ve been playing super smash bros for the last two hours and sanghyuk had wound up missing his meeting time to see the new apes movie with namjoo, inevitably prompting her to drop by the dorm. “unbelievable. three years of angst for this,” she sighs and then turns to leave, “you owe me lunch, sanghyuk.”

he makes something of a grunting noise in confirmation as she leaves and he’s pretty sure she’ll wire the info over to hakyeon and taekwoon that sanghyuk’s officially off the market and before he can get back up onto the couch, jaehwan’s plopping down beside him and pecking his cheek, causing sanghyuk to get distracted enough to get knocked out of the screen and enabling jaehwan to win.

"what the ," sanghyuk groans and jaehwan barks out a laugh.

"you curse way more than me, you know that, right?"

"shut the up, you bastard. you’re such a cheater, i swear—"

and he gets silenced by jaehwan’s mouth attaching itself to his own and well, that’s honestly all it takes now a days to stop sanghyuk from talking.