Here I am.

This is the story of me. Kim Sunggyu.

Do you still remember the first time we met? You were just another ordinary girl in school. You had long brown hair that would smell like raspberries whenever I walk by. You were slim and tall, like any other.

You had that smile that would light up my whole world, even on my darkest days. I'd find it cute on how you'd pout occasionally and how the littlest things would get you excited. Whatever you did was beautiful.

Whenever you were in pain, I was there for you, where you'd do the same in return. It hurts me to see you cry, therefore I'd wipe your tears for you and tell you everything would turn out fine after a while. I didn't mind if my favourite shirt was soaked with your tears, because all I ever want is for you to feel better.

Do you remember we used to sit together during classes? We'd frequently sit and stare into space.. or just giggle at the most randomest things. You were the school's genius, where you'd often help me in my school work. Somewhere in between time, we'd get distracted and go out of topic instead.

I didn't mind because that was the only way I could hear your personal thoughts about life. Or almost about everything. Your laugh makes me giddy and I loved it.

Do you remember we would never miss out on our birthdays and celebrate them in the best way possible? Even a few candles on a cake would do the job. We would never fail to take pictures and keep polaroids of us in our secret treehouse, at our backyard. We'd bring our toys in and made it our own heaven.

On one Saturday evening, we went to catch a movie where you had been dying to watch it all along. After it ended, you told me how cute the movie was and how lucky the girl got to marry her best friend in the end. On that night itself, we sat on the swings by the playground, stargazing. And do you remember this?

"You know.. how about we make a pact like that? After years... maybe... I'll marry you in the end," I whispered, bashfully smiling at her.

She paused for a while. I was about to smack myself from saying such a stupid thing when I saw her grinning and nodding her head.

Automatically, I lit up. "Promise?" I held my pinky up. She nodded again, smiling warmly and locking hers with mine. "Promise."

Years passed by, yet we're still as close as before, because we grew up together. You might not have noticed.. when I soon fell for you. Even for a guy like me, I'd have butterflies in my stomach in everything you do. I started to drop hints time to time.. in which sadly, and unfortunately.. you couldn't notice it.

So I kept silent. Sometimes I'd ask myself or wonder.. whether you still do remember the promise we made. Till you met a guy one day.

The both of you grew much closer in time. Soon before you knew it, you were in love with him. Each time he brings you out, you'd return home with a big smile on your face and tell me how happy he made you feel. You'd then tell me everything from head to toe and what he did makes you fall for him deeper.

Right there I felt like I was the most worthless guy on earth. It felt like I failed to make you happy and I wanted to be in his position so bad. Still, I kept silent. So the only way to make me happy was to see you smile again.

Whenever we'd spent time together, he'd reappear from somewhere.. Be it in the mall, parks, concerts, anywhere. As much as I hate it when he interrupts our time together, I couldn't do anything. I didn't want to show you how jealous I was of him.

I didn't want to upset you.

As I look at myself in the mirror, I put on my best outfit and adjusted my hair. I inhaled deep and put on a small smile on my big day.

The sound of laughter and chattering filled the room. That was when I saw a crowd, in elegant dresses and suits. Happy faces start to appear, both young and old. The place was decorated with white lillies and small balloons were everywhere.

And that's when I saw you.

"You look beautiful," I smiled as I made my way to her. "That gown suits you well."

"Thank you, Sunggyu. You know.. I've always wanted to be this happy and get married.. to live a long life with the person I love.." she paused to look around the room and smile to herself. "I feel blessed.. I can't even express it in words."

I smiled as the ceremony started and when you walked down the aisle holding a bouquet in your hands. I've waited so long for this day to come.. This day where you're the most beautiful bride in my eyes.

This day where you'll be leaving my side. Forever.

I still remember my heart clenched when you took his hands and kissed him. How I hoped you'd realise the guy that's been waiting for you all along was right in front of you. I'd blame myself on how stupid I was and that was when you'll never know about my heartaches behind these shadows.

Rose petals were thrown everywhere, the laughter filling the room and people cheering you on.. the wedding bells chiming.

And you.. in his arms.

As you walked down the aisle hand in hand with him, I gave you one last warm smile... in which you never returned. That was when I bid my last goodbye to you and where I'll forget everything we've ever been through.

Lastly, please.. please don't stay in my heart once you're gone.