Today is just like any other normal days. Waking up, rushing to music shows, music interview, getting back in BigHit Entertainment and back to our dorm. But today is also the last day I will be standing on this world, breathing.

No one knows this but I have been wanting to die due to not being passionate towards music or anything else so I decided to end my miserable life by taking it away tonight.

It was around 4.30am, two hours after everyone in this dorm fell asleep, I was writing down my last few words to BangTan Boys on my final letter. Turning to my right, I saw Namjoon hyung sleeping peacefully. Whispering to NamJoon hyung a "I'm sorry", I walked out of our shared room and to the toilet.

Entering the toilet, I sat on the floor and took out a penknife from my pocket. Placing the blade near my wrist, I started slashing myself. Small but deeps wounds were formed everytime the blade cuts into my skin. Slashing myself vertically on my arm and thights, i saw blood started oozing out from the open wounds. Soon, a pool of blood was starting to form near me.

As each drop of blood oozed out from my wound, I felt my energy level depleting and soon with the last few drops of blood escaping from my body, the darkness has already consumed me and what's left of me was my starting to turn cold corspe and my soul sitting on the floor.

I'm officially dead at 5am and now I'm a walking spirit.

At around 6.30am, one hour and thirty minutes after my death, I can hear NamJoon hyung asking everyone in the dorm where's my whereabout. No one knows where I was until Hoseok hyung entered the toilet where my body was.

Upon seeing my lifeless body and a pool of blood near me, Hoseok hyung started shaking me up and screaming at me to wake up. "Yah! Jeon JungKook! Wake up! Please don't scare me. Stop playing dead, this is a serious matter!" Of course I was unable to reply him as I'm dead which left Hoseok hyung in panic mode.

Calling everyone in the toilet, Hoseok hyung piinted towards my body. Some of my hyungs were seeing it in disbelief, some were close to tears while Yoongi hyubg started finding for any pulse but no pulse was detected.

Turning to the members, Yoongi hyung gathered up his courage and said:"Jungkook...is dead!" Before breaking down in tears.

When the news hits the members,everyone immediately broke in tears. Some members were blaming themselves while others were just well crying hysterically. Just then, NamJoon hyung excused himself and webt back to our shared room.

Walking around our room, Namjoon hyung spotted my hand-written letter sitting nicely on my bed. Picking the letter up, he called the remaining members up to our room. Once the members gathered, Namjoon hyung opened up the letter and read aloud.

To: SeokJin hyung, YoonGi hyung, HoSeok hyung,TaeTae hyung, Chimchim hyung and Joonie hyung.

By the time you guys found this letter, I most probably left the world but I want to tell you guys that it's not your fault that caused me to commit suicide, it's just that I'm losing my passion in music and unable to find other interest that I can enjoy. It sounds really confusing and complicating but you can just ignore it.

Namjoonie hyung, my roommate and leader, I hope you can continue to lead BangTan Boys to the correct path without me and I hope you will become a successful rapper and composer in the future.

Jinnie hyung, please get rid of your awkwardness and hope you can improve your dance skills together wilth NamJoon hyung. Continue cooking delicious food for the other hyung, especially Jimin hyung. He's getting way too skinny.

Hobie hyung! I hope you can continue keeping up the bright smile and of course dancing skills. Also, I hope one day you can create a cheography for a comeback song!

Sleepy Yoongi hyung! I want abd hope you can compose a song for BangTan Boys upcoming comeback! The A.R.M.Ys will love it! Trust me!

Jiminie hyung!!!!!! Continue fanboying over Taeyang subaenim! Who knows he will notice you one day! Also, hyung please eat up, you are way too skinny for my liking and build some abs please.

Lastly, Taetae hyung! One of the hyung in BangTan Boys I will miss the most. The hyung that creates Dubsmashes together with me, the hyung that also plain weird. Taetae hyung, please continue to be the hyung that I know ever since we first met.

So that's all... I hope you guys can move on without me and remember, it's not your fault.

-Jeon Jungkook-

Upon reading my name aloud, the members already started wailing like a baby, some of the hyungs were sitting on my bed and Taehyung hyung was hugging my pillow and crying into it. At the same time, I saw SeokJin hyung carrying my body out of the bathroom and into the shared room. This caused everyone to cry even louder and harder.

Just then, NamJoon hyung took my phone which was on the floor beside my bed and scrolled through my contact list until hw stopped at a specific contact.

My Mum

Gathering up his courage, he tapped on my mum's numbet and waiting for her to pick up the phone. Finally, my mum picked up the phone.

"H-hello? Is this JungKook's mother? I'm NamJoon, Jungkook's bandmate. I-i need to tell you something s-shocking....J-Jung-k-o-o-ok...has passed on today.... I'm sorry" NamJoon hyung told my mum and I'm pretty sure the receiver was literally screaming into her phone.

Ending the call, NamJoon mumbled to Yoongi hyung to call up our staff members regrading to this situation. Soon, one by one, people started entering our dorm to 'visit' me.

When my parents entered our dorm, my mum was crying hysterically while hugging my body at the same time mumbling to herself that it's her fault that caused me to be in this state. As for my dad, he too was crying and at the same time trying to comfort my mum.

While most of my close relatives, friends and classmates were in the dorm 'mourning' , on twitter, Bang PD Nim updated our official BigHit Twitter about my passing. This news went viral, little did I know that behind the screen of my fans, they were crying really badly.

Even the most emotionless fan was tearing up.

I can feel guilt creeping in my brain, but I shrugged it off. After all, I'm just a passionless ghost.

After a few days later, my funeral began. People including my family, BangTan Boys and schoolmates were talking about me, complimenting me. Jimin hyung was starring at his lockscreen, a picture of him and I. HoSeok hyung somehow lost 50% of his cheerful personality and was literally sulking in one corner.

On the last day of my funeral, the day which my corspe will be laid in the ground. When the body was going to be laid, a lot people cried. Among all of them, some people like my family and NamJoon hyung were blaminh themselves.

Hey didn't I told you guys it's not your fault?

But deep in my non-beating heart, I can feel the guilt increasing.

One week later after my death, most of the people i know were unable to move on. Some people like SeokJin hyung and JiMin hyung fell into depression. Some vented their sadness or anger(if they have) by talking to people. Some cried in their sleeps.

Guiltiness level: Increased by 5%

Again, I'm starting to think why did I make that move.

One month later, of course some people managed to overcome my sudden passinh, my family and close friends are still unable to move on. YoonGi hyung recently started composing new songs and it wasn't HipHop....it was ballad.... wait why ballad? TaeHyung hyung frequently visit my grave, talking about life without me and about the dorm being so quiet and down. Also, he said he missed me, and saying that it's so weird being BangTan Boys new maknae.

And again, upon hearing this, my guilty level increased but i don't know how many percent.

On my birthday, I saw the members sitting around the table, in front of them is a birthday cake. A birthday cake that was meant for me. They started singing the signature birthday song. While singing, some of the members' tears flow out naturally. Some even wished that I was here celebrating my birthday.

Well... I am celebrating with you guys....just that you can see me.

Exactly one year after my death, my family, BangTan Boys anf manager hyung went to visit my grave. Laying the offerings, they started praying. Seeing this, I don't know why but I really regret at that moment. Why did I committed suicide in the first place when i got oyher alternatives? How come I did not think of the consequences? I made a lot people difficult in their daily life.

Now if you ask me, I really wish to turn back the clock to when when I'm going to slash myself and avoid the scenario completely.

Also, to the people that attempted suicide, please do not try attempt unless you wan to see your family and friends suffer. Seeing people crying and unable to move in really breaks my hearts.

Really, I was once a victim of this and my advice to you is do not try, you will really regret in your afterlife

~The End~

Whoa.... I'm really sorry for not updating this one shot cuz I was busy with examinations.... sorry once again

Borninmato

Random fact: tbh i dunt know how to write a suicide so sorry to disappoint you guys and secondly, if you are thinking that JungKook is my BTS bias, he isnt my BTS bias.... J-Hope is actually my bias.