Hold me in your arms,/
Love me like your best friends did,/
Promise I won’t hurt you kid,/
Hold me really tight until the stars look big,/
Never let me go.

-“Never Let Me Go” by Lana Del Rey

A pair of strong arms slipped over Daesung’s shoulders. The sun had just disappeared behind the mountains on the horizon, residual streaks of colored light raked through the sky like finger tracks in sand. The twilight air carried a slight chill and smelled faintly of burned cooking and car exhaust. They could hear police sirens approaching in the distance. Dogs barked up and down the block, leaping noisily against chain link fences.   

“The clouds look like pink and purple cotton candy today,” said Daesung.

He would never admit it out loud, but Seunghyun knew he loved the smell of his old leather jacket. He grabbed the man’s right hand and brought the sleeve close to his nose. Seunghyun let him nuzzle his forearm without comment.

“I saw a little girl in braids picking dandelions from the cracks in the sidewalk,” Daesung said. “Right in front of the 7-Eleven. Her older brother was watching her. He was wearing a snap cap with the brim tugged down, and he kept looking around. Real shifty.”

Seunghyun rested his head on his shoulder. His hands slid down Daesung’s arms, finally coming to rest on his hands as they held onto the balcony railing. He caressed them gently.   

“There have been rumors as well,” Daesung said. “About someone new in town. Not just a pusher, but a kingpin.”

He pressed a gentle kiss to his neck. Daesung closed his eyes. Finally Seunghyun spoke.

“Did you want old take-out or new take-out?”

“Did you hear what I said? A drug lord–”

“Yes yes yes, I heard all that.”

Daesung spun around, confused eyes meeting Seunghyun’s impatient ones.

“And?” he demanded heatedly.

“And those leftovers aren’t going to eat themselves, babe.”

“I’m scared for you.”

He probably had not meant to say that. His mouth shut abruptly like a slammed drawer. It was just like his boyfriend to start off the conversation by mentioning some magical, dreamy observations about the sky and a child with flowers that belied their hellish surroundings, then transition awkwardly into official business — what troubling new developments he had noticed during his watch.

Seunghyun loved his lookout so much that it sometimes frightened him. Other times, he simply basked in his good fortune and in the beauty of the man before him. He smirked, tracing his finger along Daesung’s jaw line.

“God, you’re y when you’re worried about me. I’d like to the concern right out of your cute little face.”

“I’m serious, Seunghyun.”

“So am I,” he said, with the voice of a man who has no cares in the entire world. He turned around to climb back through their bedroom window, slinging a long leg easily over the sill. “The leftovers are going to rot, and then who’s going to clean the fridge?”

Daesung sighed and followed him back into the apartment.

“Oh, I almost forgot,” said Seunghyun. “I got you something.”

He took down the cigarette from its perch behind his ear and unraveled the slip of paper wrapped around it. He passed it to Daesung with a sheepish grin. Frowning, his eyes roved over the hastily scrawled numbers.

“It’s a date and time,” he muttered.

“Beauty and brains in one package, ladies and gentlemen,” said Seunghyun.

He swung the refrigerator door open but instead of grabbing the leftover pasta, he snatched the gallon of orange juice.

“So I talked to Jiyong, and I hooked you up. You owe me big time, buddy.”

“What?”

Daesung’s eyes grew to twice their normal size. He looked absolutely stunned.

“What do you mean, you talked to G-Dragon?”

Seunghyun waited. He unscrewed the cap and took a drink straight from the bottle. Normally his boyfriend would chew him out for doing such a thing, but today–

“Wait, you ‘hooked me up’? You mean I got the gig? I get to sing?”

“Like a bird, baby.”

Daesung shrieked with excitement. He jumped up and down, arms flailing.

“Hyung! Hyung! I really like you, hyung!”

He embraced him from behind, still hopping. Seunghyun chuckled. He set the gallon jug on the counter and turned around to pull the man into a tight hug, where he could only wiggle and shout with glee. 

“You’re performing when the paper says.”

Daesung froze.

“But–but–that’s in less than a week!”

He had that panicky note in his voice that Seunghyun was all too familiar with, the one that said he was gearing up for a full-scale anxiety attack. He held him tightly in his arms.

“Sh-h-h,” he soothed, rubbing circles on his back. “You are ready. I promise you, Jiyong would not let you perform at YG if he wasn’t one hundred percent convinced that you were ready. Stop shaking and listen to me. I swear to God, just you singing in the shower is enough to deserve an adoring audience. You have been preparing for this day ever since the first time you drew breath outside the womb. Those vocal cords are made out of pure gold. Never doubt that. And I love you and I support you. Never doubt that either. You trust me, right?”

He nodded against the taller man’s shoulder.

“I will never let you down and I promise I will never, ever hurt you. Not on your life. Don’t believe anyone who tells you otherwise. And I will make sure that you get on that stage and you blow the ing crowd away.”

He stepped back from Daesung and cradled his head between his hands. He looked carefully into his eyes. He no longer looked like a man on the edge of a major nervous breakdown, but it could be hard to tell with Daesung. Not only was he a great singer, he was also a decent actor.

“I know you only said all that because you didn’t want me to cry,” said Daesung. “But thanks.”

“I meant every word. I will never let you go.”

The brunette had no response to that. He shuffled around Seunghyun, thinking about all the preparing he had to do. Under his boyfriend’s watchful stare, he opened the refrigerator and grabbed the take-out container.

“We shouldn’t let it go to waste,” he explained.

Seunghyun smiled. He stuck the cigarette into his mouth and lit it up, left hand cupped around the delicate, flickering flame.

                                                                                                                 *****

Daesung sighed contentedly.

“Thank you.”

“I should be thanking you after that performance,” Seunghyun said, smirking and drawing the brunette close. They lay under a thin white cotton sheet, flushed and spent, watching the flickering red and blue lights cast on their ceiling by a siren as an ambulance sped past their apartment. Daesung rested his cheek against Seunghyun’s heaving chest and turned to kiss his collarbone.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” he mumbled, snuggling into him.

“I should fulfill a lifelong dream of yours more often, eh?”

“You are my lifelong dream.”

“Right back at you, babe.”

“The stars look big tonight,” said Daesung nonsensically. “And I love you like your best friends did. You know that, right?”

How sweet, his boyfriend thought with not a small bit of pride. He had ed the man into a drowsy state of incomprehensibility. He kissed Daesung’s forehead in response.

And as Seunghyun drifted lazily off to sleep, the shorter man curled into his side, he could not help but think that their life together was only going to get better and better.

He could not have been more wrong.