Donghae, although being my cousin he is so much more than that. A brother and bestfriend. Although we had our own siblings we were never close to them as we are to eachother. 

 We spent our childhood together growing up together. Like an older brother he cared for me. We would always be next to eachothers side, it was rare to not to see the both of us together. 

However no matter how close we were, i could never have the guts to tell him. Tell him that i loved our bestfriend, Jessica. 

Jessica Jung the girl who i've been inlove since i can remember. 

 We met Jessica during middle school, she was bright and i mean as well as smart she had an inviting personality, something about her just made you want to be by her side forever. 

And i guess thats why Donghae and i fell for her, though she doesnt know. Neither does Donghae, i guess im the only one aware. It is hard sometimes, but im willing to putting away my feelings for their happiness. 

If i couldn't be the one to make Jessica happy for the rest of her life then i trust Donghae to do an even better job. 

Its cute, how Donghae talks about Jessica its cute to see how happy he gets just by talking about her. So cute that i forget my own feelings. 

A few days before prom Donghae asked me for a favour. He said that he would do anything to repay me, but no matter what it was i'd do it for my bestfriend, of course i would. 

But i can't lie, the favour he asked for killed me. He said that he was going to finally confess his love to Jessica after all these years. He asked if i could help by playing the guitar and singing in the background. 

I didn't have the heart to tell him i wouldn't do it, afterall the planning he has put through it. He even said that when they get married i would be his best(wo)man at their wedding, i think thats what hurt the most. 

Why couldn't i fall for someone else, any one else would do. Why her. Why Jessica Jung. Why must i be inlove with that idiot.

I agreed as always, for Donghae. I never thought love could ever get in the way of our years of friendship. 

I never showed my true feelings to Jessica not even the slightest. Jessica had other friends that were girls but she told me i was the only she can tell everything to.

We would talk alot about her past, her dreams and passion, the things she enjoyed the most in life, we would stay up all night messaging eachother all these meaningless things just to talk to eachother.

But, the day Donghae told me he liked Jessica was when i started to become distant. I thought it would be better that way. I dont know wether i should regret acting cold towards her at times where i felt like if i didnt get away from that girl then i'll never let go of her. 

It took me ages to decide wether i would go to prom or not, but Donghae dragged me anyway. And again i didnt know wether i regretted going or not because as soon as we picked up Jessica.

 I had the biggest internal battle with myself.

Dear God she looked beautiful. 

I felt my heart beat go crazy as soon as she walked out her front door in her prom dress, smiling as she greeted us. Im not gonna lie i was jealous as hell of Donghae. 

By the end of prom it was time for Donghae to bring Jessica home and most importanly confess. 

I hid behind his car and started playing the guitar, closing my eyes and picturing that i was singing to Jessica only. I think it would only hurt more if i watched as they slow dance to me singing.

Whilst i was playing and singing all i could imagine was those moments with Jessica, the last phone calls and messages, the cheesy jokes, us laughing, the first time we met and the moment i fell inlove with her. Is it even possible for a 7 yr old to fall inlove. 

 I sang my heart out wishing that i could be the one confessing through these songs. Wishing that she would understand the meaning of these lyrics. Wishing that she would know how much i love her. 

I watched as Donghae held her then kissed her goodbye. Why did i look? 

Donghae turned to me and mouthed thank you. I smile and mouth you're welcome and goodbye as he got into his car and left. 

"Yuri-yah!" I hear her voice yell my name from down the street.

 "Huh?" I turned to Jessica surprised that she saw me

"Gomawo" She says smiling at me 

 We stood there for a few seconds, looking at eachother. 

"You're welcome" I say before she walked towards me

 I smile bitterly at her trying hard to not let her see through me and waved goodbye.

Its better this way Jessica, but no matter what i'll always love you.