Donghae always gets lost in his thoughts on a rainy day. Often, he'll find himself snapping a shot of the raindrops on the window-pane (it didn't matter to him if the photos looked the same anyway) and uploading it onto Instagram. His love for the rain couldn't be explained, really. Maybe it's the warmth when he snuggles up in his favourite sweater while drinking his warm latte in a coffee shop. Or maybe it's the ecstasy when lyrics flows effortlessly as he scribbles them down messily on his notebook. Or maybe, just maybe, it's the memories associated with a certain someone. 

It wasn't raining when he first met Hyukjae. In fact, the sun shone so brightly that he found it hard to focus on Hyukjae's face, especially when his dazzling smile was adding onto the overwhelming luminous glow. Hyukjae held out his tiny hand and stared at Donghae, patiently waiting for some sort of a response nervously. Donghae panicked a little as he gets really shy around new friends. Yet, something about Hyukjae makes him feel comfortable, as though they have interacted before. Shyly, he stuck out his hand and returned the handshake. From that day on, they became playmates in school at the age of six. 

That night, Donghae couldn't fall asleep. He had work early in the morning and he should be getting some rest before that. Instead, he sat by his bed and with his notebook tucked close to him, he started scribbling furiously. 

I loved you from the start, you know 

It's never gonna change 

I swear to God 

Hyukjae was literally his entire childhood. They went through school together and were practically inseparable. They didn't mind that. In fact, they loved each other's company. To Donghae, Hyukjae complemented him. Hyukjae was sociable and did not have any issues speaking among a large group of friends while he was shy and slightly reserved. Hyukjae always decided what to eat because it honestly didn't matter to Donghae what they ate for lunch or dinner for that matter. They shared the same taste for music and found sharing about their latest jam with each other comforting in an odd way. Hyukjae always dragged Donghae to the theatre to watch the latest movies because he would always look forward to their fervent discussion after the movie. Even though they spend so much time together, their conversations never seems to end and there is always something to talk about. 

It was a rainy day when Hyukjae called Donghae and told him that they needed to meet urgently. Donghae was confused because he sounded so anxious over the phone call that it didn't sound like him at all. Donghae arrived first, at the bus stop near their homes and stared at his phone, in case Hyukjae called again. Hyukjae arrived promptly, five minutes after Donghae. He was drenched because evidently, he forgot about his umbrella. 

"What's wrong?" 

"I have something important to tell you and considering that you're my best friend, I have to tell you this first," 

"What is it? Just tell me already!" 

"I.. I'm going overseas... to Italy next month," 

"And it's so urgent because?"

"Because I'm moving there, permanently," 

Donghae paused and stared widely at his best friend standing in front of him. He didn't know what to say or what to feel. He was supposed to be happy for him because he was well aware that Hyukjae always loved travelling to new places but the fear of never being able to see his childhood friend flooded any possible feeling of happiness. With his fight-or flight response triggered, he chose flight so he ran, away from Hyukjae and the truth that the constant in his life is leaving him behind. Hyukjae was surprised at his reaction. He expected him to be happy for him or to be curious about why he was going away. He stood rooted while staring at his best friend run away in the pouring rain, feeling equally lost and confused.

말문을 막는 한숨
말이 없는 입술
그 시간에 선 너와 나 (그 곳에)

Disappointed, he glanced at the umbrella that Donghae has left behind at the bus stop and his sight blurred as sadness overwhelmed him. He grabbed the umbrella headed home in the rain which seemed as though it would never stop. It rained all night that day, just like the heavy feeling in Hyukjae's chest that wasn't going to disappear for quite awhile. He wondered what was wrong because he had told Donghae right after his dad broke the news and he was the first person that he shared the news with. His parents decided that it would be the best for them to move to Italy as his dad was transferred over to work there.

아무도 없는 빗 속
혼자만 남은 우산
그 허전함에 멈춰서

Donghae laid in bed. It didn't matter if he felt uncomfortable as his wet clothes stuck onto his already wrinkled skin. Hot tears poured down his face. He don't know why he was crying but the awful feeling isn't going away. It's funny how they used to joke about moving overseas since Donghae always wanted to be a composer and it was his dream to pursue music overseas. He dropped that thought when he realized that meant leaving everyone he loved behind, including Hyukjae. 

귀를 막고 아닐 거야
눈을 감아
아무렇지 않은 척해 보지만 I know

30 days before Hyukjae leaves for Italy. 

Donghae stared at his calendar and sighed. They have not seen each other or communicate with one another ever since that rainy day. Whenever Donghae wanted to apologise for his rash behaviour that day, he couldn't find the right words to explain why he ran away. They had school today which means that they would finally meet. Donghae ran through all the possible scenarios that he could that night before and formulated responses to them so that he would be able to deal with Hyukjae. It would be a long day in school. 

"I'm prepared for this," 

On a normal day, they would meet at the bus stop at 7.45am sharp and take a bus to school together but today, Donghae left house half an hour early just to avoid Hyukjae. Donghae strolled casually as he breathed in the morning fresh air. He took his time since he was really early anyway. He passed the corner of the road before he saw his best friend sitting alone at the bus stop. He wanted to turn back but at that moment, they had eye contact. The look of horror was visible on both their faces so it turned out that Hyukjae left his house early too to avoid Donghae. Donghae felt his face heating up as he continue walking catiously towards the bus stop. He sat down, leaving a gap slightly larger than usual between them. 

"Hey," Hyukjae started the conversation nervously. 

Donghae breathed in deeply. I can do this. I have ran through this scene before even though I didn't expect to meet him that soon. 

"Hey Hyukjae! You're early today too? I was planning to make a trip to the library before school to grab a couple of books for my research project." Donghae replied promptly, and was clearly nervous because he rambled more than usual. 

Well, the library wasn't opened until 9am and Hyukjae was aware of that and the real reason why both of them are early anyway. Hyukjae tried to come up with an excuse for being early but decided to be honest instead as he couldn't stand being uncomfortable around Donghae for long. 

"You know, let's just forget about what happened that day. I mean I don't want us to be awkward around each other," 

"Sure," 

That day passed a lot quicker than what Donghae expected because Hyukjae acted completely normal from then on. Hyukjae never talked about it ever again even though Donghae wished he did. There was so much that he wanted to tell him but he could never bear to raise the topic and dampen Hyukjae's mood. The days leading up to Hyukjae's departure passed really quickly and Donghae found himself wishing for time to just stop.

왠지 모르게 눈 앞에 비가 내리고
그대로 난 아무 말 할 수 없었어 하루만

5 days before Hyukjae leaves for Italy. 

Donghae was really frustrated. He wanted to express how he genuinely felt to Hyukjae but everytime he gathers sufficient courage to do so, he hestitates. There was too much at stake between them and he did not want his true feelings to ruin it all. Almost a decade of friendship,  the unexplainable comfort he feels around Hyukjae and everything that he holds dearly in his heart. He decided to pen down his thought instead as there was no way he could communication his feelings while staring right into Hyukjae's eyes. 

멀어지는 구름을 잡아줘
너를 막아선 빗물이 멎지 않게
흘러가는 이 시간을 또 잡아줘
이 순간을 멈춰 사랑이 멎지 않게

Dear Hyukjae, 

This is so awkward because I have never really written you a proper letter before but there has been a lot of thoughts in my head lately ever since that particular rainy day. I owe you an apology and explanation so I'm really really sorry for what I have done. To tell you the truth (because you know that I can never hide the truth from you), I am more upset than happy that you are going away. I know you are excited about the whole idea and I did not want to spoil your excitement but... but it's just that we have been friends for so long and all of a sudden, you are going to be gone. I don't think I can get used to it, Hyukjae. What will I do when I cannot decide what to eat for lunch? Call you up while you are in Italy? You know how indecisive I am and the timezone in Italty is completely different which means I cannot even call you up whenever I feel like it. I am getting carried away but the truth is I cannot bear for you to leave and I will definitely feel lonely without you around yet you cannot be easily replaced with someone else. What I am saying probably would not be able to change everything but just know that I will miss you. A lot. 

p.s. please don't forget about me and I am always going to be your no.1 friend (and you will not get rid of me because I will haunt you down if you do). 

Already feeling lonely, 

Donghae

1 day before Hyukjae leaves for Italy. 

The day before Hyukjae departs, Hyukjae invited Donghae over to his house for a sleepover (or rather Donghae insisted on crashing Hyukjae’s house for the one last time). Donghae helped him with all the last minute packing and forced him to bring along his favourite photo of them. In the photo, Donghae was smiling so widely even though his front tooth was missing and had his arm sling around his best friend’s shoulders. 

That night, they barely slept as they ended talking about all their childhood memories, embarrassing moments and happiest moments. Donghae stared at Hyukjae blankly as the latter was fondly reminiscing their adventures as eight year old kids because the fact that Hyukjae is a large part of his life is settling in. 

“Donghae, are you listening to me? Oh my you are still the same with the attention span of a goldfish after so many years.”

They fell asleep with their current favourite song that they shared in the background but even good music was unable to erase the lingering feeling of sadness from them. 

Hyukjae was the first to be awake the next morning, glancing at his best friend who was fast asleep. He smiled unconsciously because Donghae was drooling, just like how he was since young. Normally, he found that sight gross since Donghae was drooling on his pillow but right now, he really wanted time to just stop and for them to rewind back to the days when they were just kids. Unfortunately, he had to fly off to the other side of the globe in five hours' time. He took out the letter that Donghae had passed him a couple of days ago and read it through once again. Oddly, he could read it with Donghae's whiny voice in his head and that's when he realized that it was also his voice that he will find himself missing after they part. 

The trip to the airport was a quiet one, with Hyukjae and Donghae sitting close to each other. Hyukjae placed his hand on Donghae's, an attempt to comfort him even though Hyukjae was the one who had to move to Italy. That was how their friendship was all the time. Hyukjae would always be the one subtly caring with for his best friend and comforting him whenever he need that sense of consolation but this time, nothing was sufficient to console Donghae. 

At the departure hall, they paused to bid their last goodbyes. Hyukjae took something out of his bag, together with a letter and passed it to Donghae. Donghae looked up and recognized that the item was the umbrella that he had left behind the other day. His face heated up at the memory of that day while Hyukjae tried really hard to supressed his laughter because he found the situation of his embarrassed friend really hilarious. 

"Ah... Thank you," Donghae mumbled, trying hard to hide his embarrassement. 

"Hey, cheer up. I mean it's not as though we are never ever going to meet again. Besides, we can skype every day if you want to since I have set up Skype on your laptop a few days ago. If you are still worried, I even created an Instagram account so that you can be up to date with my life. Don't be worried because no one is going to replace you as my best friend and you know that right?" 

"Yes... I know. Remember to apply lip gloss on dry days since your lips crack easily. And don't be lazy to update your Instagram okay! I'll be watching you. Drop me a message when you are there so I would know that you are safe," Donghae kept rambling on and kept nagging at Hyukjae but Hyukjae just smiled because Donghae isn't Donghae if he doesn't nag. 

"Hyukjae, it's time for us to go," Hyukjae's mum smiled politely, feeling sorry to interrupt the two boys. 

"Sigh, guess it's time. Goodbye Donghae,"

"Goodbye Hyukjae," 

They hugged very tightly before Hyukjae unwillingly drags his luggage to the departure gate. Donghae watched his best friend slowly leaving his sight. He had envisioned himself to sob very badly but somehow, he felt relieved and comforted because deep down in his heart, he knows that this friendship would not change despite the long distance. 

Dear Donghae, 

Please tell me that you are not crying like a girl right now while reading this because you miss me already. I'm kidding but really don't cry! I don't want to make you feel upset. To be really honest, when I first knew that I am moving away to Italy, it did not occur to me that we are going to part. After seeing your reaction, it made me realized how much our friendship means to me. After pondering about it, I still fell very confident that nothing will change between us just because we can't see each other physically. Have some faith in our friendship and I promise that I will try harder now to maintain this valued relationship. I will continue sharing my favourite jam with you and you can always rant to me about anything and everything. Ultimately, I guess I will still miss you quite a bit but hey technology will bridge the gap between us so don't feel lonely! 

p.s.it's rather impossible to find someone like you so stop being paranoid, Lee Donghae. 

Missing you, 

Hyukjae. 

It was raining and Donghae was at home, sipping onto freshly made latte. He took his phone from his back pocket and tried finding the perfect angle for a photo. After several shots, he was finally satisfied with one and uploaded it onto Instagram. 

@leedonghae: it's raining ^^ #Ilikethiskindoffeeling #mymoodisgood #alright

He casually scrolled through his feed and his heart skipped a beat as he chanced upon a photo that Hyukjae uploaded the day before. Hyukjae was wearing sunglassess and being a dork while posing with the Leaning Tower of Pisa. He smiled because seeing him being happy makes him happy too. He refreshed his feed and found a new photo posted by Hyukjae. The photo was similar to Donghae's. 

@leehyukjaeee: Rainy days... Like it ^^ #seeyouagainonarainyday