"Room service."

Lu Han closes the magazine he is reading and gets out of the bed at once. He scuttles towards the door and opens it. A man who seems to be a room service employee stands on the other side of the door, looking down and obscuring his face with the food cart beside him. "Please come inside," says Lu Han politely as he moves aside. The employee comes in and prepares the food on the table. Lu Han waits silently. He has that  face of an excited child, looking forward to a tasty meal. When everything is settled, Lu Han says his thanks and asks the employee to leave. However, a tight grip pulls him back before he can move away. Surprised, he is about to throw a punch when a familiar voice whispers, causing him to stiffen at once,  "Lu Han." He tilts his head and comes across Kim Jongin's deep and sultry eyes. Not wasting a second, Jongin binds him between his arms and chest until Lu Han feels like breaking into thin pieces. 

seconds...

minutes....

Time moves achingly slow yet no one dares to speak first.

flashbacks....

recollections....

Unforgettable scenes from three years ago are all coming back. The cold nostalgia is giving him chills as he remembers the events he has been struggling to erase and turn his back from. Spotlight. Blaring music. Stage. People. Members. BROTHERS..Kim Jongin. Everything should be a distant past. The moment he made up his mind to leave, Lu Han knew that sooner or later, he has to neglect the things that once became his strength. For him to move on, it's certain that he has to let go. And he is successful in preventing himself from remembering for 7 months. Jongin though. The love fool who has always been casted away from Lu Han has no plans of letting it go. He had to endure years of secretly hoping Lu Han would notice his feelings by showing him subtle hints like gazing at him for a long time, taking care of him in public despite the management's order for him to stay put with Kyungsoo, his thoughtful messages to Lu Han when the latter travels to China with the rest of EXO-M, to stop pursuing the girl he likes for three years because he cannot deny the fact that he's falling madly in love with the older one, his touches that serve as restrained expressions of his desire to be with Lu Han always. He missed those chances to confess when Lu Han was still one of them. One could only imagine how he must have felt when the latter revealed his intention to leave from the group. Jongin misses him a lot. The fact that he has to act like he doesn't strains his heart even more. It's always a secret. He has always been keeping it to himself.

"Lu Han," he mutters with his face resting on Lu Han's shoulder. His longing pushes him to hold the older one tightly; afraid that Lu Han might slip away again. His brushes his hand along the latter's arms, gently caressing him until he felt something around Lu Han's wrist. Cartier. Lu Han notices how Jongin's chest heaves as he comes in contact with the bracelet. He quickly turns around and struggles to find the right words to say. Hi. Hello. How are you? It's nice to see you. Does he say those words like nothing happened? No. He is not fooling anyone; Jongin especially. He can't start with a casual greeting. An apology maybe. Or an explanation. The usual words a shock person would say. Why are you here? How did you find me? Yes! That's it. Lu Han forces a smile even though his lips are obviously shuddering in uneasiness.

"Why are you he--"

"I want to see you," states Jongin with eyes fixed on the latter's heavy-lidded ones.

"How did you find m--"

"I find ways."

There goes all the questions. He stands there in silence while Jongin watches him intently. Even though he rejects the thought, he is aware of Jongin's feelings towards him. Baekhyun kept on dropping hints when they were preparing for their Wolf comeback. Yixing's eyes would always shift from Lu Han to Jongin when they talk during interviews. Tao created excuses for Jongin to be able to sleep in the same room with Lu Han in the dorm. Even Sehun, who is obviously a possessive dongsaeng, would roll his eyes boldly every time he stays in the practice room with Jongin. He knows it yet he doesn't want to acknowledge; afraid that he might cross the "brother" line. Furthermore, Jongin likes girls. Lu Han assumes that the latter is probably going through a stage where he is getting affected by everything and that his emotions are unstable. It's just a phase. Jongin will get over it soon.

But younger one's presence that moment proves him wrong. 

Lu Han slowly drags his feet backwards with eyes glued Jongin's face, "Why don't you join me?" He is relieved to hear his voice coming out. Jongin motions towards him reaches for his face. He cups Lu Han's cheeks and rests his forehead on the latter's, "I am over with pretensions. I love y--"

"You know what? I am really hungry right now," declares Lu Han as he drifts away from Jongin's touch. "I am really curious how you were able to dress up like a room service employee. What if you get caught, you silly?"

"What--" Jongin is taken aback by the sudden change of ambiance. He was about to confess. It was the right time. His feelings are all pouring out from his sleeves. And yet Lu Han, the latter himself, had to ruin it for him by backing away. Hurt, he swallows his words bitterly. Lu Han grabs the chopsticks from the food tray and thinks of what dish to try first. "How was the concert? I heard that you guys spend the rest of the week rehearsing. I bet you're really tired. Do you want to order more food? I'll pay it for you..."

"Lu Han..."

"...don't worry. This is HYUNG's treat. I'll call for food service again--"

"Stop."

"What about your drinks, Jongin? Do you want wine? I can order wine for you..."

"Please, stop."

"Sit down. We can share this plate of pas--"

"STOP IT ALREADY!!!!!"

Lu Han did stop and gulps deliberately. He is holding his breath while Jongin walks loudly towards him. "Listen," the younger one says as he pulls him for close. "Stop avoiding me. Stop pretending you don't know because I know you do."

"I-i don't know what you're saying--"

"I LOVE YOU. I have always loved you. You have no idea how much I miss you. You are the only one I think about everyday. You.. you... just you. Your eyes, your lips, your smile, the way you hold me. I think about kissing you and hugging you every night. I dream about making love with you, holding you tight in my arms, saying genuine I love you and thinking about the future that I want to have with you." Jongin pauses momentarily and catches his breath. "You are beautiful beyond words; special and I want to cherish you. I love everything about you; your warmth, your enthusiasm, the way you sing, you move, you dance, the way you laugh, your derpy face, your unpleasant expressions, the way you kick me and the members when you get embarrassed, your fail act of proving yourself as manly, the way you cry, your lame jokes... everything...just everything..."

"Jongin---"

"I love you so much, Lu Han," whispers Jongin against Lu Han's ear before he draws in for a kiss; a gentle one, just right for him to be able to mutter more words of love. His heart is racing and almost explodes every time he comes in contact with Lu Han's lips. He can feel the latter's sweat between his nose and mouth that tells him how nervous Lu Han is. With his protective instinct, he wrap his arms around the latter's waist and back and furthers the kiss. For the first time, he feels so brave as a man. He can rival anyone, win against a thousand battles, and overcome fears. With Lu Han in his arms, he feels like the luckiest person. The former slowly returns the passionate kisses with his soft and hesitant ones. His hands start to wander across Jongin's chest, shoulders until they rest around his neck. Their heads sway in synch while their lips collides. Lu Han quavers a little when he felt his head hit the bed. Jongin rain kisses on his chin, down to his neck and his collarbones while his fingers brush through Lu Han's golden locks. He pauses when the latter pulls his head up to his face and murmurs, "J-jongin...won't you regret this?"

"Why would I regret this? I have been wanting to do this for so long," answers Jongin truthfully. He plants a kiss on the older one's forehead before he asks, "What about you? I haven't heard your answer yet. I am sure about my feelings and I want to know yours. Do you..love me?" Lu Han blushes instantly looks away timidly, "Three words. I am manly." Jongin arched his eyebrows, "Is that your answer?" He Lu Han's cheeks and whispers teasingly, "You are blushing hard." Lu Han turns to him and hits his chest, "Yah!" "I get it. You are manly and I know you're just getting shy but I would love to hear those three words. Seriously," mumbles Jongin. 

Lu Han breathes out like it was his last. He brushes his lips across Jongin's face until he reaches his ear. There, he murmurs the words Jongin has been dying to hear. "I love you. I have loved you back then. Everything about you, Kim Jongin. Your voice, your smile, the silly expression you always sport during a presscon, the way you tease me, you whisper to me, your eyes that make me weak. I love how you take good care of me, always showing me how special I am even though I ignore it. I am in love with the way you dance, the way you hold my hand when I am beat after concerts, the way you assure me that everything's going to be alright. And...and I'm sorry if...I didn't stay--" Lu Han stops when he finds the tears forming in Jongin's eyes. He, too, feels his own tears streaming down, "I'm sorry."

"I feel like my heart is about to burst," mutters Jongin while wiping away the tears on Lu Han's face and kissing his eyes softly. Lu Han buries his head on Jongin's shoulder and furthers, "I never thought I would see you so hurt. You were crying during the concert when you sang "Promise". I was so worried..."

"I was hopeless that time. Tired. Pressured. And I missing you a lot. Our memories together. Not seeing you everyday. It..pains me..."

"I know...I'm sorry I was the one--"

"It doesn't matter anymore," Jongin kisses him once again. This time, Lu Han is holding him tightly. "I have you now..I.*kiss..I have you..*kiss...I can *kiss feel you..."

No more holding back. They are in love. They belong to each other. They are one. Lu Han nods with a content smile as they follow their hearts' desire. 

~Lu Han flips around and cuddles with the sleepy Jongin under the warm sheets. It's past midnight and the two are on the verge of slumber. "What time are you flying back to Korea tomorrow?" asks Lu Han while clearing Jongin's damp hair away from his face. The young man slips his arm behind Lu Han's waist and murmurs, "8 and I hate how early it is." 

"You better sleep then. You have..." Lu Han glances at the clock. "...almost six hours to rest."

Jongin sighs, "Only six hours more to spend with you. I don't feel like sleeping."

"You can't do that, silly."

"I can sleep on the plane."

"It's not enough, Jongin. Listen to me and sleep."

"I will be stubborn tonight and stay awake so I can watch you sleep. That's all I need really," mumbles Jongin as he kisses Lu Han's cheek. The latter pulls him for a passionate kiss while caressing his muscular arms. "This bracelet," utters Jongin as he lifts Lu Han's wrist. "I wish we have something like this, too."

"You know very well why I am wearing this. Sehun knows, too. But we don't need something like this to prove our love. A bracelet is a bracelet. My feelings for you cannot be proven by the things I wear," Lu Han assures him. "You have me. All of me."

A smile appears on Jongin's face. Lu Han is right. They have each other.

That's the most important thing. 

~The next morning

"Where have you been, Jongin?" asks the manager when Jongin returns to his hotel room. EXO are staying in a different hotel, not far from where Lu Han is. The other members are busy taking ig photos while the manager inquires. Jongin looks away and meets Sehun's eyes briefly. "I went to see Lu Han," he answers. The members look back at him and wait anxiously for their manager's response. The latter lifts his eyebrow and snorts. "What are you trying to make out of this? I told you to stay here and not wander around. And more importantly, not to meet that guy."

"That guy has a name," refutes Jongin with a threatening voice. 

"Are you trying to disobey the management's order, Kim Jongin? Let me remind you, you have to strictly follow EVERYTHING the management wants you to do. You know what will happen if you don't."

"Tsk," Sehun suddenly jumps out of bed, creating a boisterous sound that distracted the two. He flicks his ear and frowns, "I miss Luhan hyung a lot. Did he leave a message for us, Jongin? I wonder how he is. I bet he misses me."

The manager turns to him with a warning but the maknae approaches Jongin and drags him out of the room. "No he doesn't," replies Jongin passively while knocking Sehun's head. The rest of the members follow one by one, eager to know how Lu Han is and leaving the manager alone with puckered brows.

~ Airport

Jongin is on the phone will waiting for the other members in the departure area. He is waiting for Lu Han's reply while the fans take videos of him. When the rest finally arrive, people swarm all over them, making the area jam-packed with people. "Here we go again," hisses Baekhyun. The security officers surround the members with cameras flashing everywhere. Jongin is far behind and he feels suffocated with so many people. He shakes his head in distress when a certain fan in a hoodie and a face mask tugs his shirt back. He turns around and bows politely. When he lifts his head, a smiling and wrinkly eyes greets him.

~"What were you thinking back there? What if people noticed you?"

"I have to admit. I was out of breath after that. But it was a fun experience to be the one chasing you for a change."

Jongin holds his phone tightly while blushing hard like a fool, "You make me miss you more."

"Don't worry. We'll see each other soon, Jongin."

.

.

"Yes, very soon. I will endure it for a while until I can be with you again."

The call ends with Jongin clenching his teeth, struggling to control his tears. He leans his head on the couch and sighs deeply, "God I miss him already."

A/N: :) Thanks for subscribing. I hope you enjoyed reading this one. ^^ 

~Anika