Final
You're still the one .–
To: Sunggyu . (19 years old)
Sunggyu-ah , do you still remember the first day we met ? You were only 18 and I was 17 . You were such a bad brother to your sister back then . She kept on insisting to come with you inside the cardiologist's clinic but you didn't let her and keeps on pushing her away . That's when I in . That's the first day we met . The start of us .
-Eunji .
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To: Sunggyu . (20 years old)
Sunggyu-ah , who would have tought that I will be friends with Kim Namjoo , your sister . If I still remember it right , I went to to your house everyday to hang-out with your sister . I always saw you in your room , wearing your headphone ..
I still clearly remember when we bumped into each other one day at the school . You even said 'wait , you seems familiar . I think I saw you once or twice .' I was dumbfounded by then . I murmured to myself ' I can't believe this guy . I'm always at their house but he can't recognize me ! ' I didn't know to myself why it's too big deal for me .
Who would have thought that I will survive those past 3 years without you ? Sunggyu-ah . I really miss you , please come back .
-Eunji
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Even though time is passing by again I’m going back to that time again Although I try hard to find everything in your memories–
To: Sunggyu . (22 years old)
You remember our first and only 'accident' date ? That's the most memorable date I ever had . Even if it was an accidental date .
We'd date each other because yours and my date didn't come to our supposedly 'triple date' caused by my dearly bestfriend and your beloved sister , Namjoo .
Do you miss me Gyu-oppa ? If you do , just come back . I miss you too .
-Eunji
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To: Sunggyu . (25 years old )
Time and days had passed , We didn't even noticed that we're friends already . You and I volunteered to take care of the children at orphanage every saturday . I didn't know that you like kids as much as I like them.
On our first day , There's this kid that asked 'Ahjussi , why you're eyes are too small ?' I can't help but laugh at that question . I wondered where is that kid right now , I went to that Orphanage last week but he's not there anymore . Maybe someone adopted him . We run into them to tickled them . The next thing I knew was , You had an asthma attack , and that's when I promised myself that I won't let you run again . Ever .
You're happy there right ? I'm happy too that you're okay right there but I'm still sad because I still miss you a lot . Namjoo misses you a lot too . Oh and by the way , Namjoo and Sungyeol are now married . I love you still Sunggyu-ah .
-Eunji .
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I’m crying by myself there but As my tears stopped I’m laughing but I’m waiting again Until I can breathe again–
To: Sunggyu (26 years old)
January came , the entrance exam for college freshmen on the different universities were open . I wonder why you didn't took an exam . You said that you have no plans on going to universities . I got confused so I ask you why . You answered by 'because I want to face the real world , I'm going to find a job as soon as I graduated . '
I really admire you when you tild me that back then , I thought that you're really a matured thinking person .
I didn't know that there was a reason behind it . The reason that it hurts me a lot when I knew .
Aren't you really coming back Sunggyu-ah ? When are you going to wipe my tears away again ? I missed you a lot . I love you , until now .
-Eunji
*******
To: Sunggyu (31 years old)
Sunggyu-Oppa , It's been a long time since I wrote for you . It's been 5 years since the last time I wrote for you . I thought that if I stopped writing , I could move on but I didn't . I didn't move on . Yeah , many things got changed . I am already married now and we had a child . He's already 3 years old now . I want you to meet him . Sunggyu-Oppa , Meet my son , Kim Sunggyu . Yes , I named him after you . I also want you to meet my husband , Kim Myungsoo . He's a nice guy like you .
Sometimes , I wished that you're with me . That You're the man I'm married with . That You're the father of my child . Not that I don't love my husband , I love him but not as much as I love you .
Sunggyu-Oppa , I still love you .
-Eunji
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Even though time is passing by again I’m going back to that time again I’m trying hard to find everything in your memories–
To: Sunggyu (42 years old)
Sunggyu-ah , I'm sorry . It's been eleven years after the last time I wrote for you . Sunggyu-ah , Myungsoo and I already divorced , He knows that I can't love him the way I love you . We're still friends , He's already married with someone we knew , Remember Naeun-ah ? Our colleague and one of Namjoo's friend except from me . They ended up together and already have twins . I saw them as a perfect family , I thought that if you're with me , with us . We can have a perfect family like them .
-Eunji
*****
To: Sunggyu (45 years old)
Graduation comes , that day suppose to be our happy day . You , graduated already , me , to confess something . I love you already , since our first day at the orphanage . I don't even know why I love you . You're so cold and mean to me . But like what the other said ' Expect the unexpected'
When I confess , you said that I must forget it . I got hurt . I feel that I'm rejected . Oh well , Who's gonna love me ? I'm just a naive girl with that tomboy look . I returned home crying .
After some hours , Namjoo called me , saying that you're in the hospital .
That's the most painful day of my entire life .
-Eunji
*****
I’m crying by myself there but As my tears stopped I’m laughing but after leaving you alone I’m wandering around here with memories I can’t erase–
Tears falled down from my eyes again . Whenever I read the letters I wrote for him for the past 30 years , I will end up crying . Especially when I finished reading the last letter I made . The scene at the hospital is still vivid . I clearly see myself crying , Sunggyu's crying too . I could still feel the same pain I felt 58 years ago . As if my heart torn apart . As if my heart torn into pieces . I couldn't move on after 58 years . I still love him . the scene at the hospital flashed into my mind . I couldnt hep it . I cried hard .
*Flashback* (58 years ago)
I rushed myself to go to the hospital as soon as Namjoo called me . I headed towards into the operating room and there , I saw Namjoo and their parents , crying to death . I went to them , clueless but I had this thought that something bad happened to Sunggyu . This is not some Asthma attack . This is something serious .
The doctor came out from the operating room saying that he's okay and he transfer to him to one reegular suite room . I ask Namjoo what happened. Why he's here.
"One kid was going to be hit by a car . We were far from that kid so he ran to save that kid . Yes , he did save the kid , but suddenly , he had a heart attack and he fainted , his skin turned blue . Eunji-ah I was scared at that time " I hugged her and comfort her . When their parents went out from his room , Namjoo and I went in . As soon as he saw me , he smiled weakly at us . He talks to Namjoo first . After some minutes , he was asking Namjoo to left us alone .
When Namjoo was already out . He taps the vacant space on his bed . I sat on there . Tears are already flowing out of my eyes .
"I know this isn't some asthma attack . Just say it . please " I begged . He deeply sigh .
"Eunji-ah . I have this since I was born . I don't have an asthma like what I said . " He paused .
"I have Hypoplastic left heart syndrome " He smiled weakly . He's sad too . "A rare con heart defect in which the left ventricle of the heart is undeveloped .The left side of my heart is unable to send enough blood to the body so the right side of my heart must maintain the circulation for both the lungs and the body . The right ventricle can support the circulation to both the lungs and the body but this extra work eventaully causes the right side of the heart fail . The only treatment is surgery . But at that time we don't have enough money , when we had enough money , the doctor said that it's too impossible to do the surgery . I didn't know why . I didn't even want to know why . "
"Why didn't you tell me ? " He leaned back and rest his head on the headboard .
"For what ? to hurt you ? You don't deserve to be hurt Eunji-ah . "
"S-so y-you reject me because of that ? " He let out a small chuckled .
"If I accept your confession and be with you , both of us will get hurt . I know that one day I will die . Like what I said earlier , you don't deserve to get hurt Eunji-ah . " I couldn't help it . I cried even more . He caressed my face and wipe away my tears . He suddenly pulled me and hug me tight . I cried more . I can feel that he's crying too .
"At first , I don't have plans on loving someone . But then , You came along . I can't help myself but to love you . " He said , I can feel my shoulder getting wet by his tears . This is the first time I saw him cry . I was just hugging him back while crying too , Not saying anything .
"You're the one who fulfilled my heart . "
" Don't love me because loving me will hurt you . " He even tighten his hug .
"Even if I die today , tomorrow or whenever .."
"I'll always love you . Remember that . "
That was when I heard a flat sound . I look at the machine and saw a flat line . I scream his name several times and shook his body . The doctors barged in and take me out of his room . I was crying hard again , Namjoo's crying again . After some minutes , the doctor went out . I didn't even want to hear what he said . The phrase " I'm sorry , but we did everything we can" didn't registered in my mind . The only thing I knew was , Sunggyu can't leave me like this . He said that he loves me so he can't just leave like this .
*Ends of flashback*
I laid at my bed while hugging his picture and crying . I closed my eyes and the next thing I knew , I can see light and Sunggyu , my son is asking me to not leave him . But I guess this is my time already .
I can see him , he still has that young image , that teenager look . I look at myself and saw that I'm in my teenager look too . Sunggyu offered his hand to come with him into the light . I accept it and come with him . smiling at each other . I really missed him .
"You're still the one I love Eunji-ah ." He said while caressing my face . " I'm sorry for making you cry a million times . "
" You're still the one Sunggyu-oppa . I really missed you . I love you "
" I love you too . " He pressed his lips into mine .
After long years of seperation . Here we are . Fiound each other again . Loving each other once again .
Now ,
Jung Eunji and Kim Sunggyu .
Forever .
–
If I can find you, I’ll wait for you now, until I can breathe again --------- Song used: Time by Nam Woohyun Hi guys :) I hope you enjoy reading this as I enjoyed writing it . Hahahaha XD :) I Know this isn't a good stories like other GyuJi's fanfic . Thanks for reading though . Sorry for grammatical errors .
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