“How long have you been waiting?”

I was staring at nowhere, deep in my thoughts, when he arrived. This is the person who started to bug me in my sleep marking dark circles under my eyes, not that he knows it. When did I start liking this man?

“Hey, are you okay? Jin is waiting for us.”

“Yoongi…” I said.

“Hmm?”

“I’m hungry. Let’s buy something first.” Or maybe I don’t like him. Maybe it’s the thought of having no boyfriend and the constant hanging out with my boy-space friends that my hormones are craving for male attention.

“You’re always hungry and then keep on complaining on your weight gain. Girls really.” Yoongi seated himself beside me. My nose is all the familiar perfume it can get from this person sitting beside me. I hate myself for getting weak when it comes to his scent.

“I know I smell good but leave something for other girls,” ack! The nerve of this guy.

“What do you know about girls? You actually never had a girlfriend and you don’t have girl friend”, I ignored his comment pretending nothing embarrassing happened.

“I have you, though” well, my mind drifted to another direction with that answer.

“But I guess I cannot label you as a girl friend. You’re more boyish than Jimin and tougher than Jin”

I hate it when he says something like that about me. It just proves that he sees me like just one of his guy friends. People who he always hang out with, nothing more nothing less.

He stood up and went to the counter. I just noticed that he’s not wearing his normal black (or white) shirts today.

“I got you blueberry cheesecake and chocolate dipped doughnuts. Dark mocha for Jin, Caramel frap for me and Green tea frap for you” he hands out the food and drinks to me. “Let’s go, at least we got Jin something while he’s waiting.”

“I love you,” was that me? Was that my voice?

“And when you finish all the food, where will that love go?” he laughs. I think it’s a good thing that he thought I was just playing. I wasn’t even sure if I was.

“In the toilet?” well, I think I’m safe with these embarrassing feelings this time.

“That’s gross.” He crunches his nose while smiling. That gums I see when he smiles… is too cute.

Does he know the effect it does on me when he does that?

Yoongi, stop torturing me.

When we got inside the car, I struggled to comfortably settle myself in the passenger’s seat. My left hand is holding the bag of cake and doughnut while my right has the take out drinks. Yoongi reached over my door and closed it. His closeness is doing something inside me, really. When I thought he was done, he accidentally brushed his arms on my tummy and fixed my seatbelt in place.

I just pray to the heavens that he didn’t feel the butterflies bumping themselves against my stomach trying to get him notice that they exist.

“Okay let’s go” he said.

My world just turned upside down with just a simple skin contact, technically his skin to my clothes contact, but his world is still perfectly normal.

One-sided love affair is so unfair.