It wasn't exactly simple, being tied to an inanimate object.

Cadet Guan his left thoughtfully. Wanda, he had named it on his 12^th birthday.  His other , aptly named Krease, sagged coldly at the lack of touch.  Guan reached into his closet, rummaged along the rows of bucket hats, and drew out his two most treasured possessions: his pushup bra and his thong.

GUAN'S POV

I was pumped for school!

I reached the bus stop and there and then, saw the most in' beautiful thing in my life.

Cadet Tian turned around slowly, a little sakura blossom landing on his upper lip.

* “ちんちんが大好きです、” Cadet Tian said, snuggling his nose against my collarbone.

I had no in' idea what he said, but it was okay, Cadet Tian was here. Cadet Tian’s presence was more than enough.

Blue and khaki colours welcomed me as I entered the school, my arm around Tian’s voluptuous thighs. Suddenly, I felt the leg start pulsing.
Looking up, I saw that Tian has begun thrashing, his arms waving wildly at an unknown creature in his sight.

“CHUNGAH!!1"

I frowned. Chungah?

“CHING LING-LING!!"

Ching Ling-Ling? I knew no 'Ching Ling-Ling' in this school.

And that's when I saw Cadet Cheung’s eyebrows.

Cadet Cheung was something altogether. He was a Pepe lover, a centre of memery, and was epitomised as the ultimate mute button. To exacerbate the tense situation, he also happened to be the object of Cadet Tian’s adoration.

Cadet Tian stood quivering, recovering from his short thrash sesh, and let forth a series of weeb phrases, to which I found utterly endearing.

** “好きな科目は 英語とちんちんです！” 

* I love .

** My favourite subjects are English and !