Sehun POV

Here i am with hyungs preparing for our concert and comeback. Its really tiring though. But since i got my hyungs here with me and of course the fans i'll be happy.
Minutes, hours passed by and here we are still practicing for our comeback. Wait. When did hyungs leave? Why was i alone on te studio? Ah... it is already morning but I didn't care, i have to keep practicing. It is the only thing i can do to help hyungs. Luhan, Baekhyun, Suho, and the others were always practicing for both singing and dancing. It was like convincing myself to work harder to contribute as much as possible as i can in the group. I halt when i heard the door creaking and the next was "Sehun let's go rest" it was Luhan hyung. He was always protective and caring for the members. He was like a bright diamond that cannot be broken. But when Kris hyung left, it cracked bit by bit. I can't put the blame on kris hyung it was overwhelming him. Actually, what happened on the national tv's were all lies. We did it to protect hyung. He is family after all.

We've arrived at the dorm at exactly 3:40 am. And everybody was already asleep. "What happened!?" i was shocked when hyung raised his voice a little bit. My mind run out of panick, and there i remembered what exactly happened. 

We were dancing in the studio when the recording manager asked them to try recording few songs. I didn't go. So i stayed and practced until i felt my conciousness seep out of me. 

"Hyung... I---I---" still in panic i tried and tried but nothing came. 

"Its okay, don't do that again okay?"
That? "okay hyung" 
After that we go straight to our beds and rest. 

Morning came we were already in the studio practicing the same moves when manager called out to me. He said he wanted to talk but as i go i didnt realize we were going to the hospital. I kind of looked confused an he just shrugged lead me to one of the doctors. There he explaibed to me that he saw what happened. I was really thankful that manager hyung helped me. But then again, life wasn't that easy. 

On the way back to the studio hyung asked me what was the result and i just told him that it was fine, nothing much. 

Our concert was held and next was our comeback i was really thankful to the fans and hyungs that we did this perfectly.
Until during one of our concerts in china. Luhan told us he was leaving. That night i didn't sleep, i didn't nobody talked. We just lost another leg of our group. 

We were tired and sad at that time just like when kris left. 

On that day i started accepting the truth that i won't be able to tell him i loved him. that every move he makes, every note he sang pierced through my heart like a needle. My condition got worst. But i didn't take it too much all i wanted was luhan. My medicine was luhan. 

Fainting was more frequent now that we were working for another set of concerts. This time, they saw it. So they got concerned but i told them that i was fine, it is normal, Thats what i thought.

Months passed i hadn't heard a thing about Luhan. And i knew in myself that time seems to stop for me. 

That night came, i felt pain everywhere, good thibg that the hyungs weren't here. I felt the constriction in my lungs. I felt like dying. I knew in myself it was time. But i have a last time to be with Luhan hyung. 
I got the speakers and plugged my ipod. The next thing was, i was smiling, again. 
i've never felt so happy before.

As sweet as honey
Your smile is as sweet as honey
 
The sweetest of them all

Just like the way flowers bloom
In the spring breeze
In the spring breeze

Your beauty bloomed even before the flowers, you were like a walking spring beautiful and bright

I wonder where on earth
Where on earth have I seen you?

Deer one i wished i could see you one last time

your smile is so familiar to me
but i still can not remember where!

To hug you, kiss you, comfort you

Ah….. in my dreams!!!
in my dreams ,
in my dreams i’ve met you

You were my dream, 

with your smile that is so sweet,
so sweet as honey

Go fin someone, fall in love

It is you,
It is you,
the one i saw
in my dreams

but remember amidst of all, i will be here

i wonder where on earth
where on earth i’ve seen you?

your smile is so familiar to me
but i still can not remember where!

Ah….. in my dreams!!!

A tear dropped and another, and Luhan was sobbing really hard infront of the national tv. He didn't know when he started crying but he knew in his heart something felt wrong. 

Sehun smiled," thanks hyung, until the very last".

Morning came when Luhan picked up his phone. 12 missed calls. It all came from the members. He answered Suho's "Luhan... Sehun is----", "I know" Luhan felt crying over again. 

 

This maybe a lobg A/N
Sorry for making you cri ToT /pats ur back/ so how was it? i hoped you enjoyed it.
I wanted to share this story openly soo...
Basically i am Sehun in this story i didnt so yeah! Author nim is really sick since friday and earlier i was alone in my room, and in the house, and i couldnt move much so i stayed in bed curled up like ball(lmao). And then i was bringing the speakers on my bed and plugged my ipod then Tian Mi Mi was playing. I was literally crying when i was imaging this story earlier. And i couldnt help but to share it with y'all

I just wanted to say that There will be a shoulder to cry on.( mp3 and speakers will be fine:) ) I realized that i wasn't alone we were too blind because of their looks that we forgot why we joined kpop. Wanting friends, family, an extra shoulder to cry on, and comfort. All though our bias isn't physically i felt as if they were there, comforting me.

So that's that and thanks for reading :) Sorry for the description and foreword i was too overwhelmed with my feels and i just wanted to write as soon as i can 

Love lots <3