HimChan's POV

Hours turn into days, which turns into weeks, which becomes months. That's how long it's been, months.

Months since we realized we couldn't go on as we were and we went our separate ways. We had all gone back to what we use to be.

Well, almost what we use to be. We had left with a bit more fame and a bit more recognition. But beyond that, I was still Kim HimChan and he was still just Bang YongGuk.

The problem with that was with the fade of B.A.P's Kim HimChan and Bang YongGuk seem to be the slow fading and blur of what use to be B.A.P's BangHim.

We didn't know how to be an us without the B.A.P in the front. It was like we broke up by just fading away.

Like a book that never had its ending written but somehow ended. We had become a you and I without our knowledge.

“Hyung do you know where YongGuk hyung is?” DaeHyung had asked me randomly one day and I didn't know what to say because I didn't know.

“Why are you asking me?” I replied in all honesty.

“Because I couldn't get a hold of him and I really needed to ask him a question.” He replied as if I should know.

“How would I know where he is?” Am I suppose to know?

“Oh...it's just...I thought...” He seemed lost at my answer as much as I was lost as his question.

“Oh...s...sorry. I just thought you'd know.” It got awkward. “Well I'll just try calling him later then. Bye hyung.” He doesn't wait for a reply before he hangs up.

'I just thought you'd know.' Those words whisper through my head and makes me think. I thought I'd know too. And that thought saddens me.

It saddened me to know that I didn't know where he was, what he was doing, who he was seeing. I didn't know anything about the wheres and whos and whys of his life.

Maybe in the end, all we were was B.A.P and without it, we, us, BangHim was nonexistent.

It wasn't long after DaeHyun's call that I opened the door to find the person I had least expected, but wanted to see the most.

“YongGuk...what are you doing here?” I was stumped to say the least, but so beyond excited also. Maybe there is an us.

“I didn't know what to do, say.” Is what you start to tell me. “I didn't know what you thought, what you would think, what we were.” I smiled to realize you worried too.

“B.A.P made us an us and without it, I didn't know what we were. I wanted us to be and us with or without B.A.P and I was scared that that wasn't want you wanted and so I avoided it. Avoided them, avoided you. But it's like trying to run away from the sun in a green house. You're everywhere and you encircle me and embrace in and cover in to the point that I have to soak you in and I want to soak you in. You're everywhere to me and I couldn't avoid not see you any longer because I wanted...no needed to.” He finished spewing his thoughts and grows quiet. Most likely waiting for a reply.

“I didn't know what we were either.” I take a deep breath. Of relief perhaps? “I never imagined a you and me. But once we went our separate ways, I realized maybe it was just me, and never an us.”

“No.” He shakes his head. I can't help but smile, looking at YongGuk and his quick denial. “There will always be an us, as long as you permit it.”

“Promise?” I ask as I grab his collar, pulling him very close to my face. “Always.” He whispers as his eyes dart from my eyes to my lips and back. I smile as I close my eyes and kiss him without a second thought.

Maybe we won't always be known as BangHim, but I'm okay with us being Kim Himchan and Bang Yongguk as long as it's was an us and nothing less.

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I don't even know what it is I wrote.  >.<

I'm just going to go back into my little corner now.