Seulgi had seen people die in front of her eyes.

 

She thinks she's gotten used to it.

 

-

 

Entrapping herself in the place of the sick and injured, Seulgi ends up with dark circles and sleepless nights of the first few months of working as a doctor. She knows she should be able to force the immense fears that troubled beneath her, but being a doctor wasn't as a easy. Seulgi had learned that from day one when her father ushered to pursue the same dream he had.

 

"I hope for you to take in an idea of being in a medical field Seulgi."

 

That's seemed to be only way for her to keep up with his standards. Like her older brother, the biggest achievement her parents to brag away, she wished to be noticed too. It was only at a young age her father considered her to take the consideration of career in a medical field.

 

So she accepted out of pressure.

 

But now the biggest regret weighed on her shoulders at each step she takes closer to the hospital. She's never been a match to heal the wounded when she felt dying herself. No matter how much she complained, she urged on, forcing her way through the trudged long day. She would put on an assuring smile to her patients, helping them the best care.

 

"Seulgi, they need you at room 191." Her eyes flickered to the girl with loose blonde bun.

 

"What is it Wendy?"

 

"They need you with another patient." Wendy pat the other on the shoulder, "they need you to do a check up."

 

With a rub of her eyes, Seulgi nodded. "Okay, got it." The shorter latter quickly rushed off to the next hallway, with slight nod back.

 

Seulgi took quick steps, reaching the numbered room. Fingers tracing the handle of the door, she let it click open.

 

Upon entering, a breath escaped her out of astonishment. One with blonde hair and black roots at the top that had unreasonably attractive features, nearly stopped Seulgi halfway from stepping in. Unbelievable beauty sat in bed, her gaze simply fixated on the window at the side. Somewhat interested in the clouded night sky.

 

With silent steps, Seulgi slowly came in, fingers fiddling with the the pen in her jacket. "Hey, there. It's time for your check up."

 

The blonde was untouched of Seulgi's voice. Her gaze still drifted to the window showing no clear interest.

 

Seulgi creased her eyebrows, biting on her bottom lip before she tried to open to speak again. But once she had her lips parted, a delicate voice interrupted. "I don't belong here."

 

"What?"

 

The young woman finally turned her head to Seulgi's direction. "I don't belong here." She repeated it again, blatantly stating much more louder. "I rather be up there."

 

And that's when it began.

 

-

 

Her name was Joohyun, but was also known to be Irene. She spoke rarely, and when she did, she spoke in the softest tone. It was gentle, delicate, and Seulgi found it soothing to the ears. There were very little conversations that went among them during the past few days. Only Seulgi coming in to provide daily checkups.

 

But something swirled in the pit of Seulgi stomach, her tired self waking up in a bolt.

 

Irene was an ill patient of sickly cancer pushing through her body. They told her it started from her legs, and it possibly soon was to spread find its way out to other places. Surely, she had the likely chance of dying. But her body must've of already known as not a single drop of fear traveled through her.

 

 

She rarely talked much, barely to the nurses either, but when Seulgi entered she had the bright glint in her eyes somewhat. It amazed her.

 

The young female doctor always assured her she was fine, she was doing well, and she kept close attention to Irene.

 

Quite curious, Seulgi questioned her after a while. "Is there a reason why you like looking out the window all the time?"

 

Silence hung above for a moment before Irene's pursed lips released. "It's not that like it. It just reminds how badly I want to see stars."

 

"Why stars?"

 

Irene looked away, fumbling with the bed sheets between her fingers. "My mom, she passed away from cancer, and stars are the only thing that keeps me from remembering."

 

From then on, Seulgi had known to never touch upon the topic again.

 

Their  conversations usually passed by on galaxies. It was actually truly fascinating as Irene informally rambled on, Seulgi completely allured in her voice. Her features naturally brightened, a small smile curved up her lips as she spoke. Days like those seemed to be the best for her, for Irene.

 

Some days were quite different. Irene stayed mum, much more quiet than usual. She's gotten thinner than before, her face gone sickly pale. They were side effects and the impact of cancer.  

 

-

 

It was after a while Seulgi started to know more about Irene.

 

"I actually wanted to work in NASA, but...you know that all got flushed down the drain." Irene muttered.

 

Seulgi pulled a seat over, plopping down. "At least you got a chance to think about being something you wanted to be. I'm stuck here being a doctor."

 

Peeling her eyes away from the window, she looked back at the brunette. "Do regret it a lot?"

 

A sigh slipped, Seulgi gaze lingering to floor. "I used to since I've always been pressured to take this field, but nowadays, I don't really."

 

"What changed your mind?"

 

Seulgi leaned back in the chair with a toothy grin. "It's been better since I got meet people like you." And when she shifted her view to Irene, she was pretty sure there laid an evident smile on the older one's lips.

 

It was later that day when the sun fully set down on the other end for the moon to peak out at its highest. And there was Irene laying in bed, her ears perking up to the opening of the door. She flinched, snapping her head to the entrance. Seulgi was the one who stepped in.

 

There was this alien feeling that bugged her, uncertain of what if was. It happened the second she laid eyes on Irene.

 

"Why are you here?"

 

The brunette froze on her tracks, clutching onto her chest. "Oh god, you scared me. I was just here to grab the stuff I left accidentally." Seulgi grabbed her pen to stuff it back into her pocket and slipping the papers into her arm. She smiled before leaving but was stopped by Irene's touch.

 

"Don't leave yet." Seulgi raised her brows.

 

She leaned forward, gradually pressed her lips on Irene's forehead. Fingers trailed down to cup face, her lips parted to slip out the next words easily, an apologetic smile quirked up. "Sorry, I have work, but I'll be back tomorrow.."

 

"Okay." Irene gently breathed out, succumbing slowly into sleep. But she kept her eyes open that were left heavy and drowsy. She couldn't possibly go to sleep as her insides constantly fluttered, twisting inside out as Seulgi laid another kiss down on her closed eyes.

 

"Goodnight Joohyun." With the said words, Seulgi pulled away quietly, switching the lights off. The door lightly clicked closed as soon as she left through the open.

 

-

 

It was only until time to pass for Seulgi to realize Irene was dying.

 

She just another patient after all. They weren't supposed to fall in love.

 

But truly, Seulgi felt her and Irene unconditionally had gotten strangely closer. To much of their differences and small talks, Seulgi's blurry mess was finally starting to clear. The working of her job becoming much more enjoyable. (Not that's exciting). Warmth started to spread around her, enjoyable fluttering of butterflies in her stomach and the pounding of her heart rapidly hitting against her ribs.

 

It was a whole new feeling.

 

 

There were faults even though stars were beautiful as Irene, but she became a black hole instead. She had Seulgi's feelings compressed into this small space thinking everything was going to alright when those feelings were going to end up being crushed anyway. Seulgi was caught in Irene's trance, absolutely love sick.

 

She only had wished Irene was the medicine to her wound, but was a burning flame that arose to tear her insides.

 

They were both dying in the most different way possible, where Irene had death hanging right above her, the smell of corpses right at the tip of her nose. Seulgi, unfortunately, her mentally was only at the brink of collapsing to the point for her to believe Irene would live.

 

Delusion must have definitely played if she was so much to be in love, but Seulgi wasn't stupid. She knew becoming too close to Irene would leave a scar that slashed deeply passed the flesh. So it was one day Seulgi was willingly able to do anything.

 

"Do you have a wish?"

 

Irene looked at her puzzled, her eyebrows creased. "A...wish?"

 

"Yea, like don't you want to do something, have something, or."

 

"I–" Irene paused, gaze shifted to the ceiling. "I'm not really sure."

 

Seulgi clicked her pen. "You really don't have one?"

 

"Well...why're you so curious?" Irene snickered, a tease hidden in her voice.

 

Embarrassment started to rise in heat as Seulgi's cheeks tinted of light pink and her ears scorched. "I just–I want know more about you, that's all."

 

"If you're really that curious then I'll tell you," Irene shrugged. "I kind of want to see the stars since you really can't see them in city." She stifled in a laugh as she saw Seulgi scribble down on a piece a paper that clung onto a clipboard with such determination.

 

"Stars. I got you Irene."

 

-

 

Seulgi rushed to the store the day after on her break, grabbing few packs of glow in the dark stick ons along with a few ply of tapes. A plan struck in her like a light bulb immediately setting of to work. She asked the nurses to take Irene for her check up a little early for her to arrive at the room just in time.

 

Rolls of tape laid in a small pile beside her, glow in the dark plastic shaped stars in the other. And it wasn't before Seulgi slapped her palm to her forehead. "This is so stupid." But she kept going, sticking the plastic stars on the ceiling, walls, and the wide window by Irene's hospital bed. She wasn't allowed to outside, too much of a risk handled for a far distance travel. So everything Seulgi planned was on the inside, safe and secure.

 

Surely this would have taken forever and nurse's stalling wasn't going to help either. In no time though, Seulgi stuck on the last piece onto the ceiling, balancing herself on a chair. This would get her in immense trouble but Seulgi continued with her toothy grin.

 

She backed up to the light switch, flicking it off. It shined in the room of small to large flickers of glowing plastic stars hung on the ceiling. Seulgi chuckled childishly, a grin playing on her lips. "Not bad Seulgi, not bad. You've done yourself well." She congratulated herself, letting a large exhale of breath leave and with a small pat on the back. Quietly, she slipped out the room, closing it tight.

 

The nurse soon returned back with Irene, Seulgi's lips themselves curled upwards. "I've got something to show you."

 

Raising her brow, she narrowed her eyes playfully. "What is it?"

 

"I can't say, but all I need you to do is close your eyes," Seulgi complied, "don't peek."

 

"What did you do this time?" Irene asked as she closed her eyes tightly as told with her hand held onto Seulgi's, grasped tightly. Seulgi looked down to her side, Irene's delicate dark lashes on her eyelids and she remembers the dark pool of chocolate eyes to her perfected straight nose suddenly left her breathless. "Seulgi?"

 

"Open your eyes." That's all she managed to say, carefully opening the door with one swift push of the handle. She held in her breath, at least granting possibly the last wish Irene would ever make to come true.

 

And slowly, Irene's eyes fluttered open to the sight of stars as she surpassed a giggle. "Seulgi, this is wonderful."

 

-

this became an absolute mess.

Sorry.