Despite how he always denies it when Hakyeon teases him about them being soulmates and having telepathy, Taekwoon always was the first one to know whenever something is wrong with Hakyeon. Whether it was the older feeling tired because of work, or whether he was feeling down, or whether he let his insecurities get hold of him, Taekwoon would always be the first to feel that something was wrong.

Which is why he’s a little panicked when he wakes up suddenly in the middle of the night with no warm Hakyeon beside him. He steps out of their room and finds Hakyeon out on the balcony, standing in the wind with nothing but a thin T-shirt and a pair of sweatpants on. He frowns and steps out, standing behind him and wraps a coat he snagged from the rack tightly around Hakyeon. “What are you doing Hakyeon ah?” “Ah. Did I wake you up? I just.. came out here for some fresh air. To clear my mind.” “In the freezing cold? I can feel you’re cold as ice even through this coat! What if you got sick?!” “I’m sorry. Don’t worry about me. With this coat I’ll thaw up fast. You go back to bed. I’ll follow soon.” “No Hakyeon. That thinking can wait. Right now you’re going to go back in with me. How long have you been out here?” “I don’t know.” Taekwoon frowned and grabbed Hakyeon shoulders to turn him to face him. “What’s wrong Hakyeon ah?” “Nothing. I’m just tired I guess. Let’s go back to sleep.” “It’s not nothing. I can tell. Tell me Hakyeon. What’s wrong?” “I’m fine. Let’s go in. You’re not wearing a coat yourself. You’ll get sick soon. Let’s go in.” “Hakyeon.” Taekwoon blocks Hakyeon’s way in and lifts in chin so he can look Hakyeon squarely in the eyes. “You’re not okay. I can see that please Hakyeon. Tell me? Please?” “You’re being silly Taekwoon ah. Why wouldn’t I be fine? I’m perfectly okay. Now let’s go in. Whew the wind has gotten stronger, it’s cold. Aren’t you going to let me in?” Taekwoon looks at Hakyeon’s flushed face that’s not protected from the cold autumn wind and finally relents, letting them both in and locks the balcony door behind him. He stops Hakyeon from going into their room though, setting him down firmly on the couch and heads to the kitchen. “Hot chocolate or tea?” “I’m fine, I don’t-” “Tea then.” Two minutes later he sits down next to Hakyeon with two steaming mugs of herbal tea and pushes one into Hakyeon’s hand. Hakyeon accepts it with a quiet thanks and sips from it, grateful for the hot liquid warming his insides.

They both drink in silence for a while and when Hakyeon’s mug is almost half empty Taekwoon speaks up, his voice soft and gentle, his words carefully chosen, his tone wary, like he doesn’t want to scare off a small kitten. “You- you can count on me you know Hakyeon? I- I know you don’t want me to worry, but I worry more, when you don’t tell me. I want to help you.” Silence fills the room again and when Hakyeon finally speaks, his voice is unstable and shaky. “Do you- am I- do I really bother you that much Taekwoon-ah?” Hakyeon’s tone sets off alarm bells in his head and he wonders what could have Hakyeon suddenly asking him that. “I- it’s just, you know. I know I can be very annoying at times, and- and I know I bother you and cling too much and- I wonder if I suffocate you at times.”

Hakyeon clears his throat before continuing. “I- do you really love me Taekwoon-ah? Because sometimes I’m scared. I’m scared that you don’t love me at all. I’m not saying you lied to me, it’s just maybe when I showered you with all these affection and love maybe you feel that need to repay me back and you thought you loved me back. Maybe all the care you felt, the endearment you feel is all because you feel like you need to reciprocate my feelings. Maybe you don’t really love me, and I’ve been enslaving you to me. Suffocating you with all the displays of affection, clinging to you, making you feel that you had to do it back to me.” “Hakyeon, I” Taekwoon stared at Hakyeon, wide-eyed as he tried to cut him but Hakyeon was on a roll, trying to get the words out before he loses all courage and turns into that silent self-wallowing man again. “No, let me finish, please, before I run out of courage. I- I’ve been thinking, and it’s not fair. To both of us. Our relationship, this relationship, it’s not fair, and not healthy and.. it’s not good to either of us Taekwoon. I have to let go. I- can’t keep chaining you to me. I-”

Taekwoon could feel panic bubbling up inside his chest now. “NO!” He grabs at Hakyeon, shaking him gently, forcing Hakyeon to look at him. “Hakyeon, look at me. Look at me right now.” Hakyeon finally peeks up at him and his eyes widens when he sees tears pooling in Taekwoon’s eyes. “God, Taekwoon-” “Don’t you ever doubt my love for you Hakyeon. I love you. And I know that for sure. I know it as sure as I know the Earth circles around the Sun, as sure as I know there will be stars in the galaxies, as sure as I know who I am, and who you are. I love you and I am perfectly sure of that. I- I know I don’t say it very often but I LOVE YOU. You, Cha Hakyeon. Nobody else. You are the love of my life. You are the only one who has broken through my cold exterior, the only one who has made me fall head over heels with you. The only one, who made me see what love is like, and the only one who makes me understand love songs, and stories, and poems about love. You made me see love, and that is you Hakyeon. I love you. You mean the world to me please don’t ever even think about leaving me. You are my world, my existence, and if you ever leave me I will crumble to dust and wither away.” Taekwoon pulls him into a hug and sobs into his shoulder, the fear of ever losing Hakyeon overriding his emotions, crushing every bit of his cool calm composure. “Please don’t ever leave me Hakyeon. I’m so so sorry. Please don’t. I am so sorry. This is all my fault. Please Hakyeon I love you I really do. Please believe me. Hakyeon please.” Hakyeon pats Taekwoon’s shoulder tentatively. “Don’t- don’t cry. Don’t apologize. This isn’t your fault, I-” “NO. This is all my fault. I should’ve told you how much you mean to me, how much I love you, how much I need you to be by my side, till we grow old and die. This is all my fault. I made you doubt my love for you. I made you sad.”

Hakyeon’s mind was a whirl now. He doesn’t know what to think, what to make of anything now. He was so worried all this time, that he was simply pushing his own feelings onto Taekwoon, binding him to himself with words of love and care, chaining Taekwoon to him, making Taekwoon a prisoner tied to him. But, the look in Taekwoon’s eyes, the confession, the words that spilled out of Taekwoon. They sounded so real, so true. He couldn’t do anything but pat Taekwoon’s back awkwardly. “Taek-Taekwoon-ah. Do you really think that you love me?” “I know that I love you.” Taekwoon growled into Hakyeon’s shoulder. He sat up straight and looked at Hakyeon. “You don’t believe me. Hakyeon you don’t believe me. Why do you not believe me? I love you, I really do. How do I prove it to you? Hakyeon, anything. Anything you ask, I’ll do it to prove it to you I love you. Please Hakyeon.” “No. No. No you don’t need to do anything. Taekwoon, I’m so sorry, please stop crying.”

Hakyeon was frantically wiping away the tears that were streaming down Taekwoon’s face now. “I’m so sorry, please stop crying. It’s just, I was just being stupid, don’t cry, Taekwoon I believe you. I was just being so so stupid, I was so afraid I was pushing myself, forcing myself on you. I- I never respected your personal space, I always barged in on your personal space, clinging onto you, I-” “Yes you did, Hakyeon but at the same time you barged into my heart. Encased in a glass case, within a strong and icy fortress was my cold heart, but you barged in and melted all the ice away. You made me see how love was like, how was spring and summer like instead of the cold winter. You brought warmth into my heart and you made my cold heart beat again. For you. You make me flustered and embarrassed sometimes, yes. But I liked it secretly. Because it made me feel alive. In a way it made me feel loved. The blush on my cheeks I hide every time is proof that my heart is beating, that it is in love. In love with you. I- I’m so sorry I never told you any of these, I thought you would know. Just like how I know you love me, but.. You do love me right? You still do?” “Of course I do! If I didn’t I wouldn’t be so hung up at the thought of you not loving me! I love you, no matter what.” “Please believe me Hakyeon. I really really really do love you.” “I believe you Taekwoon-ah. I can see it so clearly now. I know how you care for me in your own way, how you show your love for me. I was just too dumb and too insecure to believe it. I know now how much you love me. Please forgive me for doubting our love.” “You’re an idiot but I’m the one to blame.” “No you are not. This is entirely my fault.” “No, I-” “Let’s stop okay? This is both our fault and we should stop blaming ourselves and make it better instead.” “O-okay. I’ll forgive, but I promise that I’ll show you my love for you more. I- I’ll try harder.” “You don’t have to. I love you just the way you are, quiet, cool, calm, composed. I was just being insecure, but it’s all gone now. I don’t need any of that anymore. I just need you by my side, and I know everything will be alright. I love you.” “I- I love you too Hakyeon.” “You don’t have to ever force yourself okay? Just say it whenever you feel like it.” Taekwoon shook his head. “I feel like saying it now. I feel like I want to say it more. To make up for the lost time.” “You don’t have to say it to let me know. I can already see it in your eyes.” “I know you like hearing me say it.” “Well I do, I always will.” “Then it’s settled then. I- I’ll prove my love for you more. I will. As long as you’ll have me, I will continue to be by your side and love you.” “And I you as well. As long as you are by my side I will never doubt your love for me again. Come on. Let’s go back to sleep.” Hakyeon and Taekwoon goes back to their room hands linked and settles once more one the bed. “We really are something aren’t we? I can’t sleep due to overthinking and we both end up crying like babies.” “And going to bed together feeling more loved than ever.” “Yes.” Hakyeon chuckles and returns the gentle press of lips Taekwoon gives him. “Good night my love.” “Good night.”

And so they spent the rest of the night snuggled against each other, and with the new sunrise shining above them the next day, they start a new chapter in their relationship.

A/n: Okay first of all I apologize. I have no idea what the hell is this and I’m really sorry for wasting your time reading this if you didn’t like it.. I think this was just plain brain vomit. I opened a word file, I scrolled through a list of prompts, and this just came. I know I shouldn’t even be uploading this, but I wanted to give you something before I really go off to really prepare for my exams and my brain wouldn’t stop thinking of writing. Besides, I really need the practice, as you see. I might as well then.

Second. I feel like I’m such a bad shipper ToT. Why do I always make poor Leo cry? I totally did not see that coming. I meant to make Hakyeon a little sad, and then this full out sob scene complete with snot and bawling just came out. I as a writer AND a shipper. This was supposed to be mainly fluff! I have to recalibrate my brain’s dictionary now. I asked for fluff, you idiot. And you spew angst all over. So so so sorry for this lame excuse for a fic. The ending was off as well.

But, actually rereading it, I guess this is my interpretation of how reality works. Because really, reality , big time. Having two opposites together and living happily ever after their whole life is just a fairy tale. A much as we’d like it to, life doesn’t happen that way. There’s bound to be frictions, misunderstandings, people being stupid, insecurities, and all that jumbled together. What’s important is after that, they make it work. They put effort, and they change to accommodate, they polish their rough ends to make less friction. They change to be better people, because they love each other. That’s what I like about the whole concept of love. People say that you won’t ask the one to love to change for you, that you should never ask them to change for you because if you love them you’ll love all of them. I agree, on some points, like the person’s appearance maybe, but I also think that it’s crap. What about the bad habits? Or what if the other person changes, on their own accord because they think the person they love deserve someone better? A better person? If changing my bad habits would make the one I love happier, then fixing that would be the first thing I’m going to work on every day.

And also, as much as I’d like to, I’m pretty sure people can’t read minds. Even soulmates don’t know each other with a snap of their fingers at first sight. You take time to get to know that person. Whether it’s someone you’d like to be friends with, or somebody you like, you spend time and effort trying to know them. They argue here in this fic, but yet forgive each other far too quickly, because love works wonders. It takes all but a second to realize it and when you do, it washes away insecurities. It changes minds. You might know your lover, your soulmate like the back of your hand but I sure bet you didn’t when you first met them. We let the people we love know about us, because we want them to understand. We realize our differences and accept and learn from them.

So sorry for the long author’s note, it’s more brain vomit I think. Just think of this as a filler for the time I’ll be gone I guess. Ciao lovelies. Don’t bash me too much when I’m gone yea. PS: I might not be writing but I might drop by once every few days, give myself a pause from studying, so don’t get surprised at me replying or comments or what not and call me a liar LOL.