Who´s that B*tch?

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This is so crack but i started to think about it when i saw the article this morning.

sorry not sorry. I  am lazy af to write something properly so...yeah.

*Narrate this with Morgan Freeman's voice*

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It was another day at exo dorms...where nothing interesting happens most of the time. Just homo and more homo here and there, but that wasn´t  anything new. The guys were busy with all the call me baby  promotions. All of them except Lay who was in china working in his movie and Tao, due an  injury he had to take rest at home.

Tao was  checking out his name on the internet as always, just to check what the world has to say about him and his gorgeous features ( like he likes to say himself) Reading some  fanfictions until the point of start to cry, eat all the food in the refrigerator to blame Baekhyun, taking 1234567890 selfies on the mirror making the iest posses, touching himself a little too much on the process, sending some of the hottest to his bae Sehun,  and then crying again because he ate too much and thinks he is fat, watch some and , watch dramas on tv,  then sleep only to wake up and start all over again. Yeap, that was another common day in the panda´s life when after another fanfic, navigating on internet,  he suddenly saw something that catched his attention.

"Oh...my GOSH! " His face traced with a mixed expression between horror and extreme disgust.

"I can´t let this idiot alone for one second because he is already flirting with every human in the planet!"

"jesus! sehun!"he yelled

"No, this is Bakehyun" a voice announced himself from the front door

"Where the hell is that ?"

"who?" Baekhyun asked, taking a seat besideTao, looking for the remote control.

"sehun! where is him?"

"uhmm i think he is still on the car, we just arrived so.."

"tell him i need to talk with him!"

"uhmm how about  no, i am not your slave, go away and tell him by yourself! i want to watch the tv so shut up."

"whatever. But go away if you want to watch your . Alone please!"

"what!? i am-- not- i- i am not watch ! oh gosh a few days away that fetus-face and  you are all needy  already."

"shut up! i ain't needy! shut up!"

"shush me then!"

"shut the up ! if you don´t want i will flay both of you!" a voice screamed from behind.

"oh...it´s the Dark Lord" said little .

"what did you say?" say the gorgeous and tiny incredibly handsome man.

"nothing."

"why the hell are you so upset now?" tao asked almost forgeting he was mad too.

"You  were about to wake Jongin ,he finally slept in the car and i don´t want you  idiots, wake him up."

"awwww that´s so sweet, and...weird for you to think about him" said baekhyun

"ugh this idiot has being touchy all day and i can´t take it anymore. i need a shower. so don´t you ever try to wake him up or i will cut the tongue of the guilty  okay?"

"okay" both of them said answered at the same time , nobody wants to see The Dark Lord whe he is mad.

Finally Sehun appeared  by the door.

"omg there you are!"

"hi, you missed me baby?"

" my !"

"well...yeah maybe you missed me too."

" i am not talking about that! answer me! the is this white who sent to you a present card full of her germs and AIDS on it? " tao showed him a picture of a fansite with  present card on it.

"oh my.... this is better than any kdrama" baekhyun turned off the tv and watched expectantly the scene.

"Or maybe you want to tell me  why  you sent her an album with your sign on it! AND WHY THE did i had to know thru internet and not from  your mouth?! are you planning on cheating on me? or  you are cheating on me already?"

"what?! hold on tao, baby i ..."

"i am not your ing baby!"

"relax! please! i am just a fan. i sent it to her but i never expected she would  answer me or even send me something!"

"but you want to  her don´t you? this skinny !"

"please stop it! don't say those things!  it's rude!"

"oh you wanna  see something rude?  where is the card she gave you?"

"no please! stop!-(" sehun grabbed his boyfriend´s arm and closed to him. Hugging like they always used to.

-?"stop you moron! you head! you cheater!" tao starting to cry.

"i will never, listen to me, NEVER let you or cheat on  you. You are the most precious thing in this world to me. I don´t know what i would do without you. Please don´t be like this. I love you so much."

" so are you saying you are not gonna leave me?"

"no baby, i will never let you.  i love you i will always do" sehun took away the tears of his eyes with his finger,caressing his face.

"besides" chen was sitting beside bakhyun eating some popcorn watching the whole scene. "she has a kid now, and she was married to Orlando Bloom.  There is no chance for sehun to get her."

"Oh sehunie i  love you so much!"  tao hugged and kissed his boyfriend´s face over and over again.

"ewww. get a room" chen throw some popcorns to the " at eachother's faces" couple.

"Yaaaawn! sorry guys. i just woke up, what did i miss? where is Kyungsoo?"  Jongin entered to the room.

"oh " said Baekhyun.
 

 Taohun make out like bunnies in heat for that night... and the following nights too ....5 eva~

THE END

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i don´t know why i am doing this instead of doing  my essays but....yeah...