Tears spilled forth as I looked at him, I could barely feel myself anymore. How I wished what happened was just a dream. A nightmare that could be forgotten with ease in the night. All the reason and excuses that I used to convince myself that the change was for the better evaporated in seconds, all I had left was the sorrow and sadness, as it ate away the reason of my actions. Oh god. Why?

"Why did it have to turn out this way?"

"Trust me, hyung and the others will help out too, I promise things will turn for the better."

Flashbacks on how the members and me planned came rushing towards me, with each step closer towards my freedom, our future, came as we made sure no loopholes were made. The look of astonishment and dissapointment seen on Manager-hyung's face as we pushed our way out from the dorm sent pangs of guilt through my heart everytime I recall of it. In just mere seconds, ties that formed through years between a adult and a trainee broke, faith was lost and left hanging in the air. Everyone was dragged down. Because of my greed and selfishness.

"Hyung! Go! Now!" Minho shouted as he held Manager down towards the couch. The very one where all five of us spent time together for past 3 years.. And the very place I met my true love. Taemin, who cast nervous glances throughout the entire time when he anticipated how this was going to be, shoved me and Key frantically towards the dorm's door while Onew gave Minho his aid by binding Manager's legs.

"We can't hold much longer! Go!" Onew urged us on, aware of Key's reluctance to go. With a determined grip, I held his hands and pulled him away from there. His legs were still planted in the same spot, his brown eyes casting frantically back and forth, barely taking in the situation happening right before him. Chaos, it was chaos and madnesss to him.

"Don't worry, we'll be fine, so just..Leave!"

In mere seconds, Key and I ran down towards the back exit with great reluctance. How we wished things could be solved with one way or another. There was no solution other than this. Key's brown eyes filled with tears of sadness at the thought of abandoning his hyung and dongsaengs, both of our resolve were broken down towards the very limit when we reached the hotel. Barely, just barely that we managed to make our way there.

For the past few days, everything seemed so surreal, we started to doubt ourselves. Fights ensued between me and Key. The impatience and annoyance that we had for each other seemed to grow every minute that we spent together in that room. The damned silence that hung heavily in the hotel room were contrast to the one filled and touched with sweet-nothings that we whispered to each other to sleep in our dorms at night. The distance was so great, that sometimes, I felt as though I was the only one who still held the purpose and goal of being with my loved one together forever, no matter the cost.

"I've had enough!"

The bracelet, that was once a matching pair with the blue one that I wore on my left wrist, now landed on the carpeted floor with a thud, the air in the room was still, as it echoed the last words that came out from my beloved's mouth. It was one of those days again, when we were too tired to deal with reality, the cruel mastermind who landed us in this situation in the first place. As I paced one step towards him again with my hands stretched out, instead of going towards me like he used too, he stepped back. My head snapped up in surprise, and what happened afterwards were out of control.

"Maybe it's best... if we just went our seperate ways." And slowly, he made his way to the door. The entire core of my being reacted before I could think.

A gasp escaped from him as I took him with my hands. His eyes, those brown eyes that used to look at me with love was replaced with pure fright. My grip tightened around his small body even more as he struggled harder to escape. He was everything that I stood for. Without him, I'm nothing. 

I tried all my might to make him stay, but his gaze grew colder as my pleadings grew more desperate, more and more scarier. My hands went for the locks first. He can't leave. We came this far, I don't want to end it like this. As he broke free from my hold, it was as though for a moment, I could see his soul through his eyes. Those eyes, lost reason to live, to love, to enjoy. With a weak smile, he glanced at the letter-opener that was placed above the coffee table. Everything happened so fast.

All I saw, was him, falling slowly towards the floor with ease, the letter-opener stained to the hilt in his thin, white hands.

His black locks were now lying in a pool of crimson, and his eyes gradually closed, as though he was free, from the suffering that he endured when he thought eternal love was what he could've gained with the sacrifices his made. The room echoed the sobs and whimpers that raised from my throat as I took in reality. Tears started to stain his hair locks as I cried and took in his scent, his dropping body temperature as he died in my arms, and the memories we had when we were happy. My eyes stopped at the letter-opener. My mind seemed to stop for a moment. Like a broken clockwork. Slowly, I took it in my hands, like a devil's open invitation, the voices in my head convinced me.

"Do it. Do it. It'll be over then. You can be happy with Key. Forever."

From the corner of my eyes, I could see the silver reflection the letter-opener made as it dived down with my hands. Before I knew it, a prickling sensation spreaded through me, and the feel of needles poking into my skin could be felt around my neck area. And all I could remember, was Key's face, and how happy and peaceful he looked as he slept beside me, in my arms.