I decide to end my night walk, so I turn my heels ready to take my first step when I heard a voice. An oddly familiar voice. A voice that I miss yet I don’t want to hear.

“Sandara,”

He shouts for me. Didn’t I tell him that we’re stranger as soon as he take his first step that time so why is he calling my name? Why should he? Should I keep walking or should I face him? If this was a movie like I’m hoping for, what should I do?

 My hold to the umbrella tighten. I wipe my tears and decided to keep walking. Why? Not because I didn’t miss him or because I hate him, but because this is not a movie like I’m hoping for. This is the reality and reality doesn’t always end with a happy ending even when the heroine stop and wait. No like a movie which there’ll still be a happy ending even when the heroine chose to walk away.

My heart is divided into two. I hope he didn’t run after me, but at the same time I hope that he would run after me. How much more ironic it can be? The reality is he didn’t run after me. Yes he shout my name, but he just stand there and didn’t run after me and that’s when I realized, this really is a reality

I ran really hard, my feet start to ache but I still keep on running. I’ve lost my umbrella long time ago and now I’m soaking wet. But its okay, at least like this people won’t know that I’m crying when they’re laughing.

As I reach my home, I already trembling from the cold. I quickly hid myself on the bed, under the thick blanket. My tears fall as hard as the rain outside the house. I still remember the look on Ji Young’s face that lit through the darkness. I still remember the word that he used to whisper, the special three letter word only for me.

Flashback

We’re having a movie night with our friend. Everybody is cuddling with their boyfriend. Bom with her alien couple Top, Chaerin with her cute little panda Seungri and Minzy with her joker boyfriend Daesung. Me? Of course I’m cuddling with my boyfriend too! I’m cuddling with the sweetest bad boy ever, Kwon Ji Young!

I’m giving my full attention to the movie when I heard a low whisper.

“I love you!” a blush crept onto my cheek. Told you he’s sweet. He would say ‘I love you’ at the unexpected time but wouldn’t say it when you’re hoping for it.

“I don’t see the need to whisper. Should all of us whisper to our couple too?” I can hear Seungri’s tease. This little maknae really is the king of tease and he really wouldn’t stop until I’m as red as tomato. Everybody’s laughing at his tease.

End of flashback

Ji young-ah, you said you love me, so why did you leave me for her? Why did you walk away? You said you can’t afford to lose me, so why did you turn your back on me? Why?

I can still remember. I can still recall that day, July ninth. The day when you confess your love to me. Do you still remember Ji Young-ah? Perhaps not.

Flashback

I was climbing up the stairs to the rooftop. I love to hang around at the rooftop as it is the only quiet place you can found in this company. Nobody came here. I love to look at the blue sky from the rooftop as I try to figure out what shape the cloud is.

As I open the door, I’m caught in surprise when I see someone else is there. Nobody except me will come here. I can’t see his face as he’s hiding his face behind a bouquet of flower.

“Sandara, will you be my girl?” he said as he lift his face. Once again I was caught by surprise. Its him! My long time crush Kwon Ji Young! I’ve like him for a long time now but I didn’t put my hope high as we never have a quality talk. The longest time we talk is when we making coffee together in the pantry. And that is just a simple conversation.

“What are you talking about?” I ask him.

“I’ve been watching for a long time. I’ve fallen to you since the first time I laid my eyes on you. So will you be my girl, Sandara?”

“Yes!” even though the proposal is not that romantic. But its okay, I’ll make sure I get an extremely toes curling romantic proposal for my wedding!

He walk towards me and pull me into a warm embrace.

End of flashback

Until now I can still feel the beating of his heart that time. The happiness in his eyes. Up to now, I can still feel his warm embrace. Up to now, I can still smile when I remember that time.

I decided to change my clothes. My eye get tear up as soon as I open my closet. I may have not notice back then, but there’s still a plenty of his shirts hanging with mine in my closet. Its like he never intended to leave me and he never intended to come back either.  Chose his favourite shirt and wear it.

I sit on the floor, my back is leaning on my bed. I really miss him, does he miss me too? How can I be something that he missed? I never thought we’d have our last kiss, never imagined we’ll end up like this. His name, forever the name on my lips.

Flashback

Its Bom’s birthday and her boyfriend is throwing her a party. Ji young is showing off his move and here I am rolling my eyes to it. He then come to my side, offering me his right hand.

“May I have a dance with the most beautiful angel that was send down to earth?” I can only laugh at his remarks. I’m not much for a dancing. But for him I dance that night.

End of flashback

I can still remember how stylish he was when he take his step. How he used to walk with his hand inside his pocket while his other hand is holding my hand. I can still remember how he used to kiss me when I’m in the middle of saying something. I used to hate it before. But now, there’s not a day that I don’t miss those rude interruptions.

Tonight I watch him hug her like I watch a hero hugging the third person in a movie. I can feel that he already move on and he already forget me. It’s okay, I’ll keep up with our old friends and I’ll ask them how he is. I hope it’s nice where he is.

I hope one day when the sun shines, you’ll remember me. I hope one day. When it’s a beautiful day, you’ll remember me. I hope one day, you’ll regret that you ever leave me.

Then I heard the bell rang. I get up, wipe my tears and wash my face. Hoping whoever my visitor is, they’ll never know that I cry.

As I open the door, I was caught by surprise. There he is standing proud and tall in front of my house holding a bouquet of rose like the day when he propose to me. I thought nothing can surprise me more than his presence but I was proven wrong when he say his word.

“Dara-ah, can I go back to you? Can we start all over again? I already broke up with her. I realized that I still love you as soon as you walk away from me just now, that I just go back to her house and ask for a break up. So, can we start all over again?”

“Is she okay? JI young-ah, I never thought you’re this selfish. First you broke my heart for her and now you broke her heart for me, then what? Will you broke my heart for her again or will you broke my heart for another woman? As much as I love you, I can’t take you back. Not when I knew there’s someone else crying for you like I used to. Didn’t I make it clear to you before that we’re stranger as soon as you take your step that time? Go back to her!” with that I quickly close my front door and lean my back on it. Tear once again fall onto my cheek but I promised myself. Tonight is the last! Tomorrow I’ll move on, and I’ll try to forget him. Just for tonight I’ll weep, just for tonight.

Many people would hope for a happy ending. But this is a reality, not a movie. It’s not always a happy ending in reality. Any people would be selfish and grab their chance to have their happy ending. But this is a reality not a movie which we never care about the third person as the movie end. This is reality, a world where we always have to care about the third person because unlike movies, reality ever end. This is the story of us, the story of me and Ji Young.

I screamed out of shock when I felt a sudden back hug. From the smell and the warm of the hug, I already know who the criminal is. I turn my head and give him a peck on his lips.

“Now, why do I feel you’re so adorable pouting like that? Care to tell me hubby?” yes, I already move on. It has been two year after that night.

“Why did you write about your -like ex? You should write a story about us, about me! Don’t you think wifey?” I maybe lose the sweetest bad boy, but I gain myself an unromantic yet sweet, a manly yet boyish kind of man. I gain myself, Dong Young Bae or Tae Yang as his friend call him. He’s my sun when my heart is raining. He gave me the light in my darkest day and he gave me warm in my coolest night. I never regret my decision that night. I never regret moving on from Ji Young. Because I move on, I met Dong Young Bae. He’s my shoulder to lean, my friend, my lover and lastly my husband.

“Should I? Maybe next time,” I said as I hug him. Now I change my mind about the reality. Reality does have a happy ending, only unlike movie it is an unexpected kind of happy ending.

THE END….