Minho stared into Taemin’s eyes deeply but Taemin looked away. Minho glanced again, he also smiled at him but Taemin ignored it; acted like he didn’t see it. Minho stared into the camera and smiled calmly but his hand started to clench tightly. Taemin noticed it that’s why glanced at him. They exchanged sharp gaze for a second before they smiled at the rolling camera; as if nothing happened.

Minho sat there with his poker face and once in a while he let his arm touched Taemin’s arm. Taemin’s eyes shook a little every time Minho accidentally brushed their arms. Taemin smiled and answered awkwardly when the question being thrown at him because he could feel Minho’s eyes on his face. Once he has done answering his question, Taemin turned to Minho and glared at him. Why do you keep looking at me? He protested through his staring.

Minho only smiled and placed his hand on his thigh. Taemin glared at him but Minho pretended to be blind. Taemin shifted a little and Minho’s hand fell off of his thigh. Minho inhaled deeply and tried to be calm as he always does. They greeted for the last time and bowed when the director said cut. The five of them bowed until they reached the door.

Minho walked quickly, leading their way back to their van-looking upset. Taemin dragged his feet behind the three other hyungs who probably sensed that the two maknaes were acting weird. Key matched Minho’s pace and nudged him and what he get was a deadly stare. Key stepped aside and decided to match Taemin’s pace, resulting an annoying gaze slapped him on his face.

“They fight,” Key concluded.

They were on stage and cameras were everywhere. Fans were pouring out their heart towards the five stars, singing their songs, screaming their names and squealing whenever they do some interaction. Minho stood next to Taemin as they did their greeting in the middle of their performance. Taemin shifted his gaze from Minho to the crowd but Minho noticed it. He leaned on for a whisper.

“I want to hold your hand.”

Taemin acted like he didn’t hear it and smiled at the crowd, pretending he wasn’t paying any attention. He slightly glanced at Minho and Minho pulled him for another whisper.

“I really want to hold your hand. Kiss you if it is possible.”

Taemin put away the hand that was on his face and tensed.

“You’re crazy, hyung!” He smiled a fake smile as he said that on Minho’s face.

“Oh come on, you said you want to hold my hand just a while ago.”

“Not on the stage.” Taemin walked away, hoping their whispers weren’t seen by anyone.

Minho made funny yet annoyed faces as Taemin walked to the other part of the stage, avoiding Minho.

Taemin was not the type of guy who would show the world his relationship. He didn’t want to get any problem or damage from showing off something that wasn’t his, Minho wasn’t his. Even though they had been together since two years ago, Minho wasn’t his for forever, yet, so Taemin didn’t want to show everyone.

Minho, in the other side, was a guy who loves to show everything, he was too obvious and he didn’t mind being too obvious. Fans mostly knew how Minho couldn’t hide his expression really well. He was a type of guy who would tell people that Taemin is his, he claimed Taemin as his, and he wanted to show it to everyone.

“Why?” Taemin smiled at Minho awkwardly because Minho was holding his hand as the five of them bowed together for the last time.

“What about a kiss?”

Taemin growled, Minho was being a total annoying brat lately.

“Let’s hold hand~”

Taemin shoved the hand away and walked faster towards their van, he would run if it was possible but the crowds were no joke. The airport was a mess, too much people and Taemin didn’t want to show everyone what really happened between him and Minho. Their relationship.

Minho was pissed off because Taemin changed these past year; he grows. Taemin wasn’t the old Taemin, the maknae whom he thought would always be a cutie or do aegyeo for everyone. Taemin was a grown up man now, his built was getting finer, manlier and his figure was sharper. Except his pretty face. He became tougher and harsher sometimes. Minho sighed deeply as he stared at Taemin’s back.

Taemin wasn’t mean to be like this to Minho. It’s not like he hated it holding Minho’s hand or kissing him, he loved it but his body didn’t let him do all of it in public. He was kind of scared. Since WGM thingy, he had been in a very deep thought, he didn’t want to publish his relationship. And his body did exactly as what he thought. Taemin realized that he has made Minho upset so many times because of that.

Both of them sat separately on the plane, Minho with Jonghyun and Taemin was with manager hyung. Taemin kept glancing at Minho who sat behind him. As the seatbelt warning was turned off he stood up and poked Jonghyun’s arm. Jonghyun didn’t have to be told twice, he was about to stand up but Minho held him down. Jonghyun frowned.

“If you dare raise your , hyung... You know I will tell Key what you did that time.”

“, that- you! Sorry, Tae...”

“Stand up.”

“No.” Minho plugged in Jonghyun’s headset for him and turned the loudest until Jonghyun’s ears hurt and Minho quickly pretended to sleep. Taemin scoffed in disbelief. He returned to his seat with a loud sigh. It was his fault in every time so he knew he had no other choice but to wait until Minho got into his usual self.

But this time the sadness was different. Each and every day made Taemin’s heart restless, because Minho’s silence was unusual. He didn’t nag and didn’t pester him anymore, instead he walked off and looked away as soon as he saw Taemin. Yes, blame Taemin. Just few days ago Minho tried to hold the boy, as if it was his last chance, Minho tried to give the boy a light kiss on his hair but to his surprised Taemin cursed at him.

Ah, he probably doesn’t want me anymore. That’s what Minho thought.

Taemin was actually surprised at his own reaction to Minho’s attempt. No, Minho... Don’t look at me so sadly like that. But his body reacted the different way, he didn’t try to explain anything to Minho like he usually did.

There he was, waiting for Minho to open his room that had been shut tightly for these past days. He sighed deeply, feeling guilty, but at some point he didn’t know why his body kept retreating from any form of skinship. He didn’t mean it. At first it was because he was trying to reduce the amount of it in the public, he started it since years ago but the result was not as what he wanted to be. Only after these approximately 6 months, Taemin got to manage himself or probably it was Minho who slowly backed off to appreciate his decision.

Knock.

Silent dead.

“God! You’re freaking me out!”

Taemin smiled weakly.

“The hell with that dark circles?!”

“Ah... this...”

Taemin laughed silently, it was creepy.

“You look like a zombie. You dead?”

“I am, Jong.”

“He still doesn’t talk to you?”

Taemin nodded.

“I’m getting worried. He doesn’t talk to me. He doesn’t reply my text. He ignores my calls too. He doesn’t eat. Does he even drink water? He doesn’t make any sound. Do you think he’s alright? Ah-you probably don’t know either. He fakes smile a lot. He doesn’t goof around. He looks so sad lately. Something happened? He is losing his weight. He cries, no? His eyes are red most of the time.”

Taemin slammed the fridge’s door.

“Oh great, thank you. Your words definitely make me feel a lot better, hyung.”

Taemin rested his body on the bed, staring at the window absentmindedly. He tried to kiss Minho a sorry but Minho pushed him away, so unlike the usual. Taemin hit the bed as he realized that people had their own brink of patience and probably he was acting too much like a jerk. He kicked the air and he just couldn’t think of anything. He wanted to talk to Minho and apologize but some part of him was too selfish to mutter the word sorry.

Minho was listening to his iPod as he kept looking at the ceiling. He let out a deep breath for he was utterly sad and hurt, the more he thought of Taemin the more he felt the pain creeping. He never took it to the heart, all the pushes from the younger, but lately he was being too mean or Minho was being too sensitive. His heart was numb even when Taemin pecked him a sorry, he didn’t feel anything and it freaked him out. He felt guilty for that but saying sorry was too much because it was Taemin who hurt him in the very first place.

Weeks passed and they started to talk but not much, so awkward but at least they talked. Fans probably noticed the odds between the two, they used to be so close and so sweet to each other but lately it was just a rare sight. More scene of OnTae or KaiTae or JongTae and also more scene of Jongho or MinKey or Kyu-line. The last hope of Taemin and Minho shippers was the secret glances that caught on camera.

Taemin walked towards Minho and grabbed his bag from behind. Minho looked around and raised his eyebrow at the bold action of Taemin, he then pretended not to see the younger boy. Taemin pouted slightly as he was being dragged by the long strides.

Minho glanced at Taemin and Taemin looked back at him, Minho’s face was full of question: why he kept clutching my bag? Taemin stared back sadly he was nearly crying, he missed Minho a lot. Minho’s heart hurt seeing the sight but he could do nothing. He already gone this far acting mad at Taemin and if he melt down by now, it all would be useless.

“Hyung...”

“Yes?”

“Hold my hand.”

“Why would I?”

Taemin bit his lips and gave up, he saw this relationship wouldn’t work well. He somewhat could see the end of it. Probably soon.

Another day passed and Taemin got bolder in his action, if Minho wouldn’t budge then he would make a move. And so he did, he tried everything to get Minho’s attention. He thought that he must be crazy, he became more like Minho just few weeks ago. He touched Minho’s hand, he glanced at Minho every time, he stood next to him, really, he did everything Minho usually did to him.

“Why you keep bothering me? I thought you don’t want me.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You obviously throw me away.”

Taemin hugged Minho.

“We’re in a public place, Lee Taemin.”

“I really missed you, I know you too.”

Minho kept glancing around, he unhooked Taemin’s hands around his waist but Taemin held him tightly. He sighed deeply, it hurts.

“If you love me you won’t kiss me in front of our fans.” Minho recited what Taemin said just few days ago. “You cursed at me after that.”

“I’m sorry...”

“You hurt me with all the changes.”

“I don’t even know why I hurt you either, hyung.”

“Maybe you don’t want me anymore.”

“No, that’s not true. I want you so badly but my body keep doing stupid things.”

“Maybe your body is telling the truth, that you are sick of me.”

Taemin shook his head.

“Someone’s coming, you should let go.”

Taemin barely closed his eyes, he kept repeating Minho’s sentences earlier but he knew it wasn’t true. If he didn’t want Minho, why did he try so hard to get him back? Why did he try so hard to hold Minho? Lust? Because Minho gave him everything? He believed it’s not that. Taemin walked out of his room and sat in front of Minho’s door, he knocked once.

“Hyung I really love you.” His voice cracked.

Minho was biting his fingers as he regret saying those stupid things earlier. What if Taemin hurt by it? As if it wasn’t enough with him being hurt. But he was worried too, what if he made it clear for Taemin? What if it made Taemin think that he is sick of him? What if Taemin decided to break up? Then he heard a knock, followed by a desperate confession. Minho wanted to just open the door and embrace his love, but instead...

“You know I love you too, so much. Go back to your room, Tae. It’s late.”

Minho shook his head, shut his eyes tightly and swallowed the pain to sleep.

Minho opened his door to a curled Taemin in front of his door. He sighed and he wanted to pick him up but he restrained himself.

“Wake up. We got schedule.”

Taemin shifted and opened his eyes, he just fell asleep for about 10 minutes. He held Minho’s ankle and hugged it.

“Taemin-ah...”

At that time, Key passed by. He looked puzzled, seeing Taemin wrapped around Minho’s ankle.

“What kind of is this?”

Minho glared at him and Key flew away. Minho squatted down.

“Let me go.”

“What if when I let you go, you will ask for a break up? I hate that idea.”

“I won’t, now let go.”

“Forgive me.”

“We’ve done through this yesterday.”

“I really mean it. Just... I want you to hug me now, hyung... I missed you so badly.”

Minho gave up, he took the weak arm and picked him. Taemin pouted a little and let Minho pulled him into his embrace, Taemin wrapped his arms around him tightly, not wanting to let go. They stayed for a while, getting weird stare from Onew and Jonghyun who passed by.

It didn’t change much though, Minho still trying not to touch Taemin. He still felt unsure if Taemin really wants him. Taemin in the opposite was struggling not to want Minho, afraid that Minho would really stop wanting him if he acts recklessly. Now they sat next to each other on an interview, faces looked sad. Key was sensitive enough to notice the awkwardness between the two, so he tapped both of their shoulder.

“Professional.”

Taemin nodded, Minho followed so. But then Taemin was crazy enough, desperate enough to hold Minho. He put his hand over Minho’s thigh, Minho tensed up a little but he ignored it. Taemin played with his jeans, hoping this would not be the end of them. Minho faked a smile to the camera and answered things necessarily, laughing his authentic laugh to the weird joke Onew threw, but then his head focused on Taemin’s hand.

Minho was desperate to touch that cute fingers but he held it inside. He stared into Taemin desperately asking him to stop. Minho wouldn’t want to break down with just a gentle touch from Taemin. He shoved those fingers away.

The five of them bowed and walked out of the interview room, back to their waiting room where everything became awkward. Key, Jonghyun and Onew could sense the weird atmosphere between the two maknaes. They busy whispering behind them and decided to leave them alone. One by one they left, even the cordi noona and back up dancer left too. Minho stood up when he felt uncomfortable with staying alone.

“Hyung.” Taemin grabbed his wrist.

“Taemin.”

“I... I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“I’m being a bad boyfriend. I’m sorry...”

“Don’t be.” Minho tried to let go but Taemin gripped him really hard.

“We’re not breaking up, right?”

Minho didn’t answer.

“I don’t want that to happen, I can- I can work it out- I can, I mean I can fix this-I...”

Minho finally looked at Taemin after a while, deep sigh slipped out from his mouth.

“Do you hate it so much when I hold you? I can handle myself not to touch you but I can’t handle it when you push me away, Tae.”

Taemin shook his head. “I love it when you touch me but- but I’m afraid people would talk bad about us. I mean... They judge us in every second. My body did it unconsciously- I didn’t mean it that way. I like it when you hold me, it makes me happy but in public- it just- it became a habit.”

Taemin took a deep breath. “I love you so much, hyung. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Minho stayed and watched how Taemin desperately held his hand. He thought he would be a jerk if he didn’t forgive him right now because if he-by any chance- decided not to forgive, he felt like he would lose Taemin and going to regret it later. He stepped towards Taemin and hugged him. Taemin looked up to Minho and the ceiling, blinking really hard to contain his tears. Minho patted his back gently.

“Hyung, say something...”

Minho took Taemin closely, hugged it really tight so Taemin understand what he meant. Minho cleared his throat.

“What do you want to hear?”

Taemin clutched the back side of Minho’s shirt as he sunk himself in the warm embrace.

“That we’re fine?”

Taemin nodded.

“We’re fine now, Taemin-ah... I still love you no matter what.”

Taemin mumbled lowly, Minho heard it pretty clearly; repetition of I love you.

“Hey... You’re not crying, are you?”

Taemin shook his head but his mumbling voice was cracked. Minho cupped his face and he saw Taemin’s face was red, eyes red too and tears welling, he was so ugly from trying really hard not to ruin his make up yet he was adorable. Minho blinked really hard to hold his tears too. He knew how Taemin loves him, he was grateful.

“Next time, you should have just told me instead of pushing me coldly and cursing. I thought you disliked it all along. I thought you didn’t want me any longer.”

Taemin nodded and shook his head. “I don’t even know why I keep pushing you. I-”

“It’s okay...” Minho tucked a strand of fallen hair behind Taemin’s ear.

“What about we decide what kind of skinship I could do in public? Dos and don’ts, how about that? Well you know I can’t stop myself from touching you and I realize that sometimes I just went overboard.”

Taemin nodded. “Deal.”

“Okay.” Minho smiled and leaned for a chaste kiss on the edge of Taemin’s lips.

“Okay.”

“Yeah, okay...”

-----

Hi April! Hi everybody!

THANK YOU FOR READING! It’s a slight angst or what? It’s not fluffy either. No tags because I can’t decide lol. Comment, subscribe and vote are appreciated ;) Have a nice day!

Love,

aqcelnicorus :D