She just doesn’t care. This bear just doesn’t  care.

Irene woke up with the brightest pair of eyes smile, ready to be surprised.  

It’s her birthday so this day was meant to be celebrated even without their first win yesterday.  She made a mental list of what surprises her members and her fans could have in stored for her.  1.) Cake – for sure Wendy got that covered. She’ll even bet her life on the table  it is a carrot cake. 2. ) Maybe a second win?  She knows It’s wishful thinking plus, she’s grateful enough to actually join unpretty rapstar because their fans asked her so.  And 3.) Seulgi.  And a smile creeps into her face faster than Seulgi falls asleep and she had to wiggle herself out of bed because the butterflies just won’t leave her organs alone. 

But.

She should’ve known better.

She walked,  almost skipped her way to their kitchen  trying to decide which  one of her surprised faces she should use in this oh so wonderful morning.  And…

“Surprise!”  and she gasps, so shocked to even say a word and the best actress left hanging while smiling for a good 5 seconds and her three little munchkins sang her a happy birthday but there was no bear, only munchkins.

So she couldn’t help but scowl when a certain bear walked into the kitchen 30 minutes later, yawning, still in her purple pajama with her puffy monolid  eyes.

“Happy Birthday” the bear said half yawning half smiling while hugging her back not minding those three pairs of eyes who had mastered the skill of pretending  not to mind.

Irene just couldn’t hide her annoyance, those acting lessons are useless from this point on. She is so disappointed. Yes, she would understand, everyone would understand if it was another member’s birthday, she had  slept  through. Sure Joy wouldn’t mind and actually didn’t mind when Seulgi forgot her birthday, everything was  acceptable because that ex-manknae is pure evil anyway so no one complained. But, Joy is not her girlfriend, Irene is.  Joy is not the girl she confessed to on their way home from practice on that crowded bus.  No. It was Irene. Joy is not the one she’s been dating for three years started way back when their dreams were still intangible. No other girl made her understand what love really is, only Irene. So Irene is disappointed and fxck those acting classes.   

****

Irene’s cheeks hurt, but she still smiles anyway because she’s happy or rather,  grateful because everyone seems to love them more than they should. Winning twice in a row is so surreal and she is on cloud nine and it’s her birthday, but,  no matter how much happiness her fans and winning made her feel  she still could not make herself stand  next to that dumb Seulgi. That dumb Seulgi who has yet to realize how angry her girlfriend is. That dumb Seulgi who tried to snuggle in the crook of her neck in the car because  she’s sleepy.  That dumb Seulgi who keeps flashing  that dumb smile to everybody and can’t seem to notice the deadly daggers her girlfriend is throwing at her all day.  Irene hates it. She hates that smile because she knows her defenses would go crumbling down once she accepts how adorable her big dumb bear is.

“ Wendy baked a carrot cake for me this morning. It was really good. “ Irene answered a fan in her not-so-surprise birthday party because it’s on her mental list of birthday surprises and she expected it or wished for it to happen so when it did, she was more than happy.  But her happiness was short lived when a fan suddenly asked her whether Seulgi has changed her ways of sleeping through people’s birthday or is it still in progress and it made Irene’s blood boil so she wasn’t able to stop   from saying a very bitter sounding  “Yes”. And the bitterness that’s been  looming around them all day long has finally found its way into Seulgi’s ears so out of panic and guilt she said “I’ll cook for her when we get home” and Irene knows it’s a lie. Seulgi doesn’t cook, she burns the kitchen and messes around and she knows Seulgi will try to aegyo, smolder and smile her way out of cooking.  And she’s right.

As soon as they enter the dorm Seulgi has her fountain of charms and it’s really difficult, almost impossible for Irene to resist those eyes. And Irene convinced herself that it’s not that bad. This bear has a world she kept to herself, but she let her in or pulled her in and enveloped her with her warmth.  And she made her feel safe no matter how many times she almost burned their dorm down because she’s a klutz. And Irene loves her. So. Much.

Irene woke up the next day to a noise that pretty much sounded like a squeal.  But it’s still dark outside and Wendy slept late last night and Wendy moves like a bird and is so light to even make a sound it’s creepy. So she decided to check on her only to find something or someone that made her heart stop.

“Joohyun-ah!”  The big dumb bear gasps and her eyes wider that they could ever be.  “Why are you awake? I need to surprise you, go back to sleep!” She commanded and turns around to continue rummaging the kitchen in her purple pajamas and flour on her nose and cheeks and her hair in a messy bun and Irene couldn’t help but smile at her big dumb bear because she’s not that bad. She is sweet, caring and loving in her own way. Romantic in ways only Irene could understand or experience. But there’s just no way she would eat  her version of carrot cake that looks more like poop.