He’d never been like this before. He’d never been so much depressed and lonely and almost lost his hope. He knew it was useless to stay like this and didn’t do anything to fix it just made him even worse. He shouldn’t have blamed himself for anything he didn’t do but he couldn’t stop it.

He was in crying mess right now. Indeed he was a very sensitive person, but it didn’t make sense being such a crybaby for the whole week just because a girl. 

 

A girl that should have been his partner for the rest of his life. 

A girl that should have been staying with him and would make a perfect family with five children like he always dreamed of.

A girl that should have been safely secured on his embrace and wouldn’t let her go.

 

A girl that left him few moments before they stepped into the church to say the sacred vow.

 

No, she wasn’t cruel. It was just they didn’t destine to each other. It was just the drunken taxi driver sped up his vehicle and crashed the bride’s car, leaving nobody alive as both cars burnt down by fire.

The reality was too hard to believe. At first he denied the news and just laughed as it was only a joke. But his father’s expression made him broke his own denial. Tears didn’t stop falling down since then. His world had come to an end. He felt so useless without the love of his life. He wanted to just die so that he could meet her maybe in heaven.

Actually that night before the important day he got a bad feeling. It was like telling him that something would happen and he should do anything to avoid it. But he wasn’t aware of what the thing exactly was. He just hoped that it wouldn’t be his nightmare. And he was wrong, totally wrong. He knew the sign was coming yet he still tried to ignore it because that day was the most important day for him, for both of them.

Now it was only a piece of dream. He would never find someone to replace his supposed-to-be-wife and he didn’t want any. He would rather drown himself in his pool of sorrow than ran from the reality. He didn’t want distraction after all. 

But it wasn’t easy.

He often found himself stared at the pictures of her. Inhaled the sweet scent of her shampoo on the pillow or just simply spaced out for few minutes. Crying was the easiest thing he could do.

His parents already told him to stop being pathetic. They didn’t have heart to see him acted like somebody else. He lost his cheer, his smile, his glow; all was gone. They wouldn’t force him to do anything, but it was more painful seeing their only son trapped on his own world and it seemed like no way out sooner.

It didn’t mean he never gone outside his apartment. Every day he subconsciously walked to the gallery, the place where his girlfriend worked before. She loved art, she liked to draw and paint beautiful objects from her unique point of view.

He passed the hall while taking a full look at her masterpiece. For the first time, the blood red rose looked so fragile and pitiful, just like him at the moment. Few petals fell down from its stem as the rain poured down heavily. It really described how he felt. How much pressure and pain weighed down on him, and he could be destroyed in no time. He couldn’t hide the tears formed in the corner of his eyes. Quickly he went to the restroom and locked himself inside. But he noticed it was so wrong to go there since he was only reminded of their first encounter. Even worse, the restroom was their first making out place. He still remembered clearly how they ended up on each other’s lips until they both ran out of breath.

The pictures were blurry on his mind but it didn’t help to reduce the pain. It was only adding salt on his open wound and he couldn’t take it anymore. His sobbing became louder and he desperately tried to stop the tears. The stupid tears.

He hoped nobody would find him; when he was too weak to even stand on his feet, when he couldn’t do anything but cried, when he still couldn’t get rid of the deep sorrow.

 

Knock knock

 

The sound startled him as he choked on his tears and instantly shut his mouth. 

 

Damn.

 

He took a glance at the mirror and cursed under his breath when he saw his puffy red eyes. He shouldn't have been caught at crucial time like this. Quickly he wiped away the tears and turned the faucet on, only to wash his face while thinking of any excuse just in case somebody asked the reason behind his pillow-like eyes.

"Anybody there?"

Daehyun almost shouted no  but that was absolutely a stupid thing to do. So he cleared his throat to get rid of the hoarse voice.

"Yes! Wait a moment!"

He let out a relief sigh after he heard faint take your time  from the other side and continued to wash his face. It didn't help much but at least it wasn't too pale. The doe eyes looked bigger than it used to be, made him hissed in annoyance. Grabbing the knob, he exhaled loudly and put a little smile on his face before opened the door.

"Sorry it took-"

His words cut out by the scene in front of him. There, stood a male, most probably older than him; offered him a gummy smile that instantly made his cheeks warm. He shifted uncomfortably on his feet.

"Uh..."

"It's fine."

His heart skipped a beat. 

 

The voice. 

It was that voice. 

The voice that had been ringing through his ears since he didn't know when. 

The strange yet familiar voice that surprisingly calmed his heart whenever he was crying.

The voice that always came out of nowhere right in time he needed something to lean onto.

It was unmistakably the voice he had been looking for.

 

And when his thought wandered anywhere, he didn't realize that he was staring at the guy with unreadable expression.

"Are you okay?"

"Are you my guardian angel?"

He regretted the moment those words slipped out his lips and gasped loudly.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to-"

Usually he would be mad when people chuckled at him but it didn't happen this time.

"Didn't I say it's fine?"

Once again he caught off guard by the question-like statement. Blinking two times he still couldn't digest the meaning.

"Pardon?"

"It might be hard, but trust me, crying won't fix anything."

Right when he was about to open his mouth to say something, a hand gently patted his head and made him froze in place.

"Sorry I've overheard you a while ago. I didn't mean to, and it's not my business but if there's anything made you sad, I think you should face it bravely. Like a man."

Daehyun found himself couldn't agree more. He didn't know why but felt so small, coward, and even more like a loser. He usually didn't let anyone, or in this case, a stranger, to lecture him and told him what he should do. But this time it actually hit him. It was like a dream. 

He cleared his throat awkwardly.

"Umm.. It's embarrassing.." He laughed nervously. "I'm such a crybaby.."

"Everyone would be crying when something bad happened to them. It's normal."

The caring smile didn't fade from the guy's face and it made Daehyun more uncomfortable.

"Why do you care?" He asked lowly. "It's not that we knew each other before, is it?"

"Maybe my instinct of psychology thingy gets stronger each day." He laughed shyly, scratching his head. "I'm Yongguk, anyway."

He extended his hand still with the warm smile and Daehyun felt like being hypnotized. He reached the big soft hand and shook it once.

"I'm Daehyun. Are you going to make me your patient?"

"Nah, you're full of suspicion." He chuckled. "The patient is the one that looking for the doctor."

"Do I look like a patient for you?"

Yongguk hummed in respond. "It depends on how desperate or depressed someone is."

"Do I look that desperate or depressed?"

"Honestly.. You look pitiful.." 

"Do you think I really need help?"

"Most probably yes, but-" He stopped his words when he realized something and laughed. "Hey, I'm the doctor. I should be the one to ask you a lot of question."

Daehyun blushed and looked down, trying to hide his embarrassed state. Why he was always loud and noisy? Sometimes he didn't understand it.

"Sorry.. It's just I can't control myself.."

"Firstly, stop saying sorry. It bothers me when you did nothing wring but you keep apologizing." 

"But-"

"Second, no buts."

Daehyun pouted as a habit. He wanted to reply but nothing came across his mind. Yongguk knew how to control him and surprisingly he didn't mind it. 

"Why?"

That was the only thing he could say, with obvious mixture of annoyance and flustered. He only met Yongguk a moment ago but he already lost in the conversation. And honestly it made him forgot about his mourn even though only a bit.

"Just because." He shrugged and smiled. 

It might sound cheap but Daehyun was pretty sure the smile could make him faint in anytime. Was it possible to be like that? Did he like the guy he just met? Like really like and not just literally, or was it only a fling to forget his girlfriend?

He believed it was only his heart acted different. Maybe he was tired of crying and now his body felt weak. That was it.

"That's not a reason, you know?" 

He mumbled and folded his arms in front of his chest when he heard an unfamiliar ringtone.

"Excuse me, I should pick this call."

Yongguk stepped aside facing the wall, talking with somebody on the other line. Looking from the expression, it seemed quite serious. Daehyun didn't realize that he observed the older male. He took the sight of Yongguk's side profile which he admitted it was gorgeous. He inhaled deeply and lowered his vision to the body that looked slightly muscular even though it was covered by white shirt. The sleeves were folded until the elbows, the hem was tucked into the jeans.. Damn.. He didn't notice that Yongguk was this hot.

 

What the am I thinking??

 

He was obviously crazy right now.

 

He bit his bottom lip and closed his eyes, trying to calm down but failed whenever he heard Yongguk's voice. He was confused. He often heard this voice in his dream. He ever told his mom about it when he was still a teenager. His mom said that it might be his guardian angel because it only appeared when he had a bad day. It helped him to smile again and gave him strength, reminded him to not be weak.

That was why he asked Yongguk being his guardian angel, because the voice was exactly the same. He believed such things and was sure that one day he would find it. If Yongguk was the real one...

"Sorry, Daehyun, I forgot that I have an appointment with my patient in 10 minutes." He shoved his phone into his pocket. "I'm leaving first."

Daehyun was disappointed. He was just starting to enjoy the companion and thought about keeping Yongguk there as long as he could, but now he was going to leave. He was desperate honestly, but he didn't want to show it. He tried to arrange an excuse to make Yongguk stayed there a bit longer but nothing came up on his mind. Sighing, he gave up.

"Okay.."

Yongguk smiled and bowed slightly before turned his heels and walked away. Daehyun opened his mouth, wanted to say something but canceled it. He could only watch the back side with a regret.

"You could have told me your contact.." He mumbled. "Or address.. Or maybe a place where we-"

 

Ding!

 

His phone rang and he lazily took it out of his pocket. A message from an unknown number. He furrowed his eyebrows, wondering who it was. 

And the moment he read the message, his eyes widened in surprise. He should have been scared actually, but he smiled instead.

 

Don't waste your time to find me. I'll find you first. Ain't I your guardian angel? ;)

 

He finally found the answer.

 

 

---

 

New story for bangdae shippers! 

It's still unedited and I wrote it in rush but I hope it's not that disappointing...

I promise to continue writing 'Admirer' so please wait patiently! /winks/