This is long and weird. Hope I’m not bore you guys to dead. Ignore the errors and enjoy!

August  2, 2016

Dear seunghyun oppa,

Are you surprise to find my letter? Then, don’t be. From now on I will write letter to you regularly, as long as I’m not busy, of course.

To be honest, I’ve been wanting to do this for so long. Writes a love letter filled with my thoughts and confession for my lover instead of text message or phone call. I don’t know, this way seems more romantic. (Don’t you think?). But, you see, I was still afraid and shy to do so. I wasn’t sure if my relationship will be long last like I would always hope. But after the last night event, I thought it’s probably the best time to start. After I’ve become your fiancé.

Oh, it’s still feel surreal, oppa. I’m now engaged to you.

Do you know how surprise I was last night? I honestly didn’t see it coming. I had suspected that there will probably a surprise birthday party for me on some other time during our concert. Especially after I saw the list of guest performances in our LA concert on my birthday. Complete members of SNSD and Bigbang, also Red Velvet and iKON. It’s kinda obvious, you know. But I didn’t know you had another plan at the end of the concert.

In front of our fans, my family, my friends and everyone you proposed to me. You asked for my hand to marry you. And of course, I don’t have other answer except a ‘Yes’ for you.

And do you know how happy I am? I’m not sure if I could be happier than this in my life, and you are the one who bring it to me. Believe me when I said I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, be the woman of your life. So, whenever I see this perfect ring you gave to me, it’s always feels like a dream comes true. I feel like I’m the luckiest woman alive. Thank you Oppa for choosing me, I love You.

Love,

Tiffany.

P.S. like I told you before, I do hope you would write for me too. I wouldn’t mind whatever you want to write, because there’s no rule about this. It doesn’t matter if you think what you write is unromantic, because it will romantic by its self.(trust me!) you can write whatever, whenever and as much as you want.

August 4, 2016

Dear Tiffany,

First thing first, I would like to say how much I like the letter you wrote for me. I don’t know what is makes me like it so much. Some that you wrote there are something that you had told me directly. But I just like it. I feel like to read and read it again and bring it with me whenever I go. To the point I think writing a letter is a brilliant idea eventhough I’m not sure if I could write the same type of letter for you. Because, honestly, even after one and a half hour sitting here I’m still not quite sure what to write to you. Please forgive me, I am a Bingu, remember? But don’t worry, like I promise you before, I will try to do whatever you told me, baby. Because I love you.

Second, I would like to thank you for accepting me and agree to marry me. It was one of the happiest moments I’ve ever felt. It feel like hugging you and kissing you isn’t enough to poured the feel I felt on my chest that I was sure almost to explode. For a moment I forgot that there are thousands people watching us, and I couldn’t even heard the uproar they made. Because all that matter to me is you and when you said ‘Yes, I will’. All I think is that you agree and will be my wife.

You don’t know how scared I was that you will turned me down. Because I do realize, after years separated we just got back together for less than 1 year. But then I realized, time is not all the matter. There are more thing that most important than that, like love, trust, or how ready we are to take another step of our relationship. And I’m so glad that you are also considering at that, that you are agreed that Time isn’t all the matter. I’m glad that you’re actually thinking the same as me.

I love you,

Seunghyun.

7 august 2016

Dear, Seunghyun oppa.

I’m glad that you’re actually starting to enjoying our letters, because I am too. I like reading your letter, it’s still romantic, oppa. (please don’t be feels disgusted by it, it’s a good thing I like from you. You can be the most romantic person in the world without you realizing).

You are probably still wondering where did I got this idea, writing letters to each other eventhough we meet everyday or even life together. In this letter I will tell you everything.

Remember when we were watching Pride and Prejudice movie? And when I told you I really like everything about the Pemberley, Mr. Darcy’s big manor, and wishes to be there someday?

Actually, I had been there before, 5 years ago to be exactly. The manor is actually Chatsworth House that located in Derbyshire, England. I went there with Michelle. No one knew I’ve been there except her. it was one of my secret vacation after a very hectic activities here.

We were there for around 2 weeks. We stayed at a beautiful cottage (like on my Thomas Kinkade painting) in a small village around Bakewell. Since Michelle was there for work related, I was often being left alone. But I usually take a walk around the beautiful village. In the same Village too I met a kind and lovely old lady. Her name is Mrs. Wrightsman. She’s the owner of the cottage that we rented. She’s so nice and warm, she lives alone in her other little cottage. Since then I usually take a walk with her, and then every afternoon she would invited me to her house for some tea. Well since I was often being left alone, I would always come whenever she invited me. She’s so alive, so radiant and seems happy for her life despite being alone. I’ve never seen her feel so lonely, which is quite strange. So, in one of our conversation over the tea I asked her what she usually do in her free time. She didn’t work anymore, she’s already too old for that. She told me a lot of things she’d do. From knitting, bake some snack for her granchilds whom usually come over every Sunday, and reading the letters from her late husband. At first I thought it was probably her husband’s last letter like some kind of goodbye letter that probably would make her feel sad. But then she showed me 2 boxes that full of letters. All of them are the letters from her husband, she keep every letter from him, from his first letter when after the first time they’d met when she was still a teenager, his letters when he was sent to a war, until his last letter. She explained to me that her husband would kept wrote her a letter every week even after they’ve got married. So Mrs. Wrightsman would do the same too.

After Mrs. Wrightsman showed me them, she let me read them. At first I was feeling uncomfortable with it, because i thought It was too privacy, but she insisted to read them together. She keep some special and her favorites letters in some parts of the box (although most of them are still her favorite!). For 3 days we read them together. They were so beautiful and amazing, oppa. I could tell how much Mr. Wrightsman loved his wife, and I could understand why Mrs. Wrightsman could be life happily by those letters. I didn’t even realized I was crying after I read some of them. not because I was sad, but because I was happy for her, and they are so amazing.

I want to be like them. Maybe not exactly like how they life, but using their way of communicating to each other. So, that’s why I’m asking you to do this. I didn’t do it before because I wasn’t sure with anyone else and any of my exes. I do this with you because I’m truly sure and I know you’re The One. You are my half, my future, and my happiness. And I know we can keep doing this until we get older, until we were become a grandma and grandpa, until its left only us. Cant’t we?

Love.

Your fiancé.

5 november, 2016.

Dear Tiffany,

Last night probably one of the greatest Birthday dinner I’ve ever had. Although I don’t usually celebrate my birthday but because you said I should as the gesture of my grateful, so I did.

Did I ever told you how much I like to see your interaction with my family? Omma seems so fond of you, I could tell by the way she would rubbed your back or linked her arm and yours. You and noona will be really a good match sister (did you two really already have a long list of must visit shops in LA?).

With the presents of your family and my family, last night’s dinner didn’t feel like it was my birthday, yet it’s probably the best present I’ve ever had. We’re finally set out the date. Finally… although I feel it’s too long but it’s doesn’t matter. I’ve finally have one set date to looking for.

Actually, I didn’t expect dad will be here, I was so surprise when you told me there’s more people on the family dinner. Did you purposely set this up on my birthday since I purposed to you on our birthday? So that’s why you keep avoiding whenever I tried to talked about the family gathering to talk about all this matter before? Well, congratulation Mrs. Soon to be Choi, you’re success.

Let’s prepare and plan our wedding together. I want us to do it together. Beside I’m not really busy till next year, just recording and making some songs in the studio and some tour. And let’s not talk about the Hollywood prospect. Like I told you before, I take it down not because our wedding is coming up. But because I don’t like the story, there’s nothing special in it. I want to try my luck and build my career there too, but I’m not that greedy, you know. So don’t ever feel bad about that. Beside you are the matter than anything else. I love you.

Truly yours,

Seunghyun.

12 january 2017.

Have I told you yet, how much you mean to me…?

Have I told you yet, about ll the happiness you bring?

Have I told you yet, that you mean the world to me?

Just in case I haven’t, I want you to know that you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

I love you.

Eternally yours,

Tiffany.

PS : I’m in my office now waiting for another boring meeting, and just suddenly thinking of you and how little time we have recently. I’m sorry, we both are busy, especially me with the audition season and the wedding preparation. I cant wait for the special diner date you’ve promised me tonight. And oh! Thanks for the flower this morning. They’re lovely.

I love you… I love you… I love you…

2 february 2017

Dear Tiffany,

I notice you’re so tense and very busy lately, just wanted to tell you don’t be so stress out over all those things. I don’t want you to fell sick, I’m really worry. Or let me help you.

I just wanted to tell you, you don’t need to worried about which dress you should wear later, because whichever dress you wear, I know you’ll still the most beautiful bride I’ll ever seen.

You don’t need to worried about your weight and to be fitting with the dress. Because I know you’re still will be the hottest bride in the world.

You don’t need to worried about the building/ballroom/church for the place of our wedding ceremony, just tell me what’s kind of place do you want in your mind and I’ll find the best place for you.

You don’t need to worried about our guests. Because everyone would be very glad to witnessed the wed of their good friend, special, sweet, and lovely woman like you. And I would be the most excited to be the man who waits for your hand in the end of the altar.

Just remember, no matter what happen, our wedding day will still be the most special day, it’ll still perfect if you think it’s perfect.

Beside the most important thing is our vow, the moment when we tied the knot between us. Sean Hyung told me, in that moment there’s nothing the matter anymore. It’s just us.

You and me.

Our world.

Please consider this and take a break. I love you.

Truly yours,

Seunghyun.

PS : how about we take a holiday break on valentine day? What do think?

PSS : anyway, I already take care everything for the pre-wedding photoshoot. It’ll be ready soon.

New York, march 27, 2017.

Dear Seunghyun oppa,

I still can’t believe it! You bring me all the way to this city just for the pre-wedding photoshoot. And you’re really considered my silly little dream for Disney princesses theme photoshoot. I don’t know if I would laugh, embarrassing, jumping in excitement, or crying. You made my dream comes true.

I don’t even know how you manage to get the famous photographer An Le and his amazing studio for straight 2 days. And I don’t even want to know how much you spend for all of this, because I’m sure I will regret it the moment I know it. It must be very expensive, isn’t it? Because aside for the photographer, seems it’s also spend a lot for the studio. The big castle stairs, the fake ocean with white sands, the fake forest and the lake, the snowy forest, the chamber interior and everything. And let’s not talk about the costume. They’re all gorgeous, perfectly designed, not too childish and too old styled. My favorite is your Beast costume. You’re my gorgeous beast! I love you and thank you so much. I don’t even know what I did in my life and my past life to deserve all of these, to deserve you especially. Because you’re a special men, you’re more than what I had ever hoped for. I couldn’t ask for a better men than you.

Forever yours,

Tiffany.

PS : is this why you said it’s okay to get and fitting the dress directly in New York? Because you’ve planned to bring me here soon. I see what you did there oppa. Thank you so much, I appreciate it a lot, a lot.

New York, 30 march 2017

Dear Tiffany,

I saw you finally get the perfect dress, beaming the big smile on your face you come with the beautiful royal blue box. You put the box and come to me, still wearing that beautiful smile of yours.

Do you know how curious I am to see the dress? And to see you on the dress most especially. My hand is itching to take a look on it. But I know you wouldn’t let me. Bad luck, you said. I know it’s all nonsense, I know you know it too. I know it’s just your way for trying to surprise me. So I just looked on your face, because I don’t want to let go any chance even for one second to see your beautiful smile.

Did I ever told you how much I like to see you? To watch you doing whatever you do just like an invisible audience. Everything you do look wonderful. Your pout is the cutest, your smile and laugh are the most beautiful, you pretty eyes shine whenever you talked, your every priceless expression when you singing, your excitement radiate off of your face whenever you talked what fascinated you, when you fumed or mad is the hottest thing I ever see, when you’re tired you come to me with that pitiful face, I would gladly to hug you in my arms as if to sent my energy to light you up again. I like watching you sleeping too. Even now I have a great moment to watch you sleeping peacefully. I had n urge to kiss you deeply to express how much I love you but I’m afraid you might be wake up and ruining your beautiful sleep.

Do I sounds creepy? Please forgive me if you think I do. But just so you know, I can’t help it. I don’t have any control for that. Even if I do, I think I’ll never try to control it.

I’m so glad that you like my surprise, you never stopped talked about it. I can’t wait to see the result too. I’m sure it will be amazing, you’ll look beautiful. I don’t mind spending a lot of my money on you, as long as I could make you happy, I would do that again. I don’t care about money, I could always get it. All the matter to me it’s you and your happiness. I love you.

Faithfully yours,

Seunghyun.

Seoul, 27 august 2017.

Dear Seunghyun oppa,

I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I miss you terribly. Michelle said it’s only for a while, Seohyun said we’re too unseparable. Sooyoung said she saw you today when she was to get something with Hyeyoon unnie, she said you’re looking as good as ever, in fact you look better. I’ve got jealous, because she can get to see you and I’m not.

I don’t like it oppa, I want see you, I want to hug you and talk to you. I’m scared. I’ve got a lot to thinking. I’m afraid that what if I’m not ready to be a married woman yet? What if I’m not the kind of wife you hope for? What if one day you fell in love with other woman? Are you sure you want me to be your wife? How about our parents? What if I’m not the kind of wife they want for you? what if I’m not the future in-law the thought of me all this time? What if you didn’t show up tomorrow! What I’m going to do? I’m afraid that I couldn’t fit in my dress later, what if the food and the drink for our guest aren’t what they like and they also not comfortable on the seat we’ve arranged for them. And how about the weather? I know it’s summer, but there’s still a possibility it’ll rained, and our wedding ceremony is in the garden for goodness sake! It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have insisted an outdoor summer wedding, I should’ve just pick one of those ballrooms you’ve showed me.

I’m sorry, oppa. I’m so sorry. I couldn't help it. I want to talk to you, I want you to hug me and calm me down. But we can’t. we cant meet and communicating until the wedding day. Damn! Tradition. but Taeyeon said it’s worth the wait. And I’m honestly more than glad to do your family’s tradition.

Love,

Tiffany

28 august 2017.

Dear tiffany.

Tomorrow is the Day.

Tomorrow is the day we’ve been waiting for. Are you excited? I am. And I miss you so much.

Appa seems has a lot of to say to me about marriage, honestly I couldn’t bear about how much he told me. But I know, all of what he said to me is for our advantage, so I will listen to him. He’s also seems a lot to say a bout this ‘torturing’ separate days before wedding, maybe because he had felt this way before. But, at this rate nothing can help me. That was also what he said which is true. My friends aren’t help either. They keep teasing me, says how vurnerable I look, that some of them just met you yesterday, and some even sounded like trying to make me doubting this decision. But don’t worry, love, I never even for one second doubting you and my decision to marry you. which is remind me… how about you? are you okay there? I heard that woman usually get, what they say? Cold feet? Before their wedding day. How about you? are you got the Cold Feet syndrome too? If yes, I hope you can manage not to, I hope your friends and family will help you. I hope I could be there with you. I’m sorry, baby.

Tomorrow is the Day,

Who would’ve thought it will be this soon. Time surely flies so fast.

It’s seem just yesterday the first time I saw you. I still remember it clearly. It was on the competition night in M4 club. You came with your friend, Jessi noona. I remember I saw you from the stage, it was pretty easy for me recognized a new people. You seem so lost, perhaps it was your first time to come to that kind of club, where we more enjoying the rap battle. You sat quietly on your seat, eyebrows knitted, probably confused and still trying to understand our passion. Despite being drawn in confusion, you still clapped for everyone, anyway. Especially for your friend after she performed. You clapping cheerfully and flashing your (surprisingly) beautiful smile. I didn’t realized, I smiled too when I see you smiled. I thought it was strange and it make me curious of who were you, I was itching to asked someone, but I stopped because it isn’t so me. But I don’t need to ask, or wait longer to find out. Because apparently you’re pretty famous among us, or maybe they’re just as curious as I am. They said you’re SM’s new trainee from America. Do you know what I thought back then? I thought you were too young to come all the way here just to become a trainee, maybe it was because become a trainee wasn’t really my dream on the first place.

It’s seems just yesterday the second time we’ve meet. It was on another club. This time we were just hung out. You came with another female friend, Ida noona. I could recognize you right away, the ‘SM’s new trainee from America’. Do you know how surprise I was when you two come to our table and you greeted and gave a friendly hugs to Danny Hyung and Teddy Hyung? Apparently you’re their friend’s little sister. And I thought it’s gonna be hard as the Hyungs seems quite protective over you. I didn’t even realized why I thought of that. I’ve never even thought or make a decision to court you or anything. But that time I thought maybe I would, how? I don’t even know, all I know was that, I kind of like you.

I could say that night was one of my special day, I wasn’t expecting anything when the Hyungs and Jiyong kind of force me to come. Now I thanked God for that, because that was finally we were introduced to one another. That was when I can talk to you. You were talked a lot, and I’m not. You were immediately drawn in a fun conversation that I didn’t really understand with the other. Sometime you would talk to me and trying to get me joined the conversation with your very limited Korean language. I don’t why you did it, maybe I was too quite, or maybe I was sitting beside you, and maybe that’s why I was more quite than usual. But, I really appreciated your effort.

It’s seems just yesterday when the third time we meet. It was on a café not far from your dorm with Ida noona. To tell you the truth, it was an arranged for me. Because I’ve finally have a courage to tell the Hyungs that I want to know you, that I kind of like you. At first they told me to forget it because they said you were coming all the way here not to playing around. Because the said you need to focus on your study in your new school and your training. But I didn’t give up, I don’t even know what was came to me. I told them I just want to know you better, and maybe I could help you with so many things and other rubbish promises to convince them. Until they finally gave up and arranged a meeting with you. That day I’ve finally got your number so I could call or text you whenever I want (dont you wondering wh they suddenly had another frien in another table? quite sneaky, eh?). Communicating with you was fun, it was never boring and awkward. It was like we’ve too much topic to talk, and our texts were like without ending. Another thing that I realized from you is that you were so easy to get jealous. But it was also that helped me to take another move on you, and you were gladly accepting me. Do you remember our first date? To be very honest, it took me 3 days to find the perfect place where to bring you. I remembered you said you missed your home so much, you missed the food too that you don’t really like Korean food. So I brought you to that café restaurant where you can get every food you’ve missed. i’m glad that you were so pleasant with the place and our date.

Do you remember our first kiss? I’m still perfectly remembered every detail of it. It was on a very small alley/small space in between 2 small building not far from your school. We were hiding behind of dus boxes after some so-called fans tried to chase me. I couldn’t be seen, or hyun suk hyung will mad at me for going around at the training time. I remember you were about to mad at me because I was lied to you by telling you I was in my free time, but I told you I couldn’t help it because I really miss you. In instant you were smiling, and you didn’t mad at me anymore. I didn’t make it up so you wouldn’t mad at me anymore, because it was the truth of what I felt that time. I didn’t know what was come to me, I was so distracted by your lips when you’re smiling, so I just kissed you. Nervously hoped that you wouldn’t mind and probably would kiss me back. It wasn’t long enough until you kissed me back. I was so relief to let go of my fear and leave the sparks on my chest and my stomach. Your lips were soft and tasted sweet like a strawberry drink you just drank earlier. I want to kiss you deeper, but I was afraid that I’d hurt you, that I’d take too far, while we’ve talked that we will take our relationship slowly. After it’s seems like just a second we’re gasping for the needing some air. I was afraid to let go of our lips, because I want them again. it was the best kiss I had that so far that time. So, don’t you ever wondering why I like kissing you, because kissing is always the best kisses I’ve ever feel.

It’s seems just yesterday when we were broke up. It was not a long after I debut. We were so busy. You were drawn with an intensive training and final exam. While me was busy with my new activities, not to mention the new problem I’ve got from my so called old friends that anger me so much. They don’t like me become an idol, they were like disowned me from our rapper community just because I become an idol. I was so busy, tired and feel a bit disappointed too. Because it wasn’t like what I was expected. But I know i shouldn’t have makes the excuses from that. I know I should’ve tried to keep our communication since we no longer can meet as much as we want, and couldn’t easily to sneak around anymore. I shouldn’t have release my anger on you, I should’ve know you were on your hard time too. I should’ve been there for you and support you. but I wasn’t.

It was almost one month long when I realized we never communicate or what so ever anymore. To tell you the truth, I was so scared with the realization. You usually would call me or text me, but you never did anymore. When I tried to call you that very night, you’ve changed your number. Even after I tried to get you to talk to me, you refused. That when I realized that I lost you. I was so hurt, it was like a huge stab on my chest, I want you back to me but at the same time I don’t want to burden you and keep waiting for me on my very hectic schedules that I wasn’t so used before. But it’s still hurt me to let you go.

Seeing you finally debut and get more and more popular and gained a lot of fans was quite disturbing me. I should have be happy for you. but no, I was so bitter. You seems quite happy with your new life, while me still feel hurt because of the break up. I was so bitter and mad when I saw you enjoyed your new life, you even greet me on the backstage like you didn’t know me, like there’s nothing happened between us. I was so jealous when I see my friends fanboying over you, they even save your pictures with the cutest short hair, the said. I was so jealous when I saw your picture hugging some random fans, I cant help to think that hug used to be mine, that hug that I’m addicted so much after I feel what it did to me right before my debut stage. I’m sure you still remember, we were sneaked off on MBC building and meet at the rooftop. I was so nervous to the point I told you to not watch me instead, then to my surprise you hugged me and caress my back then told me everthing will be okay and that you were sure I’m going to do the best later. Since then, whenever I feel nervous, tired, or even anger, I’d like to hug you, feel your warm body and smell your sweet scent. It’s like my best medicine.

I was mad because I know I shouldn’t be jealous, it’s not my place anymore, but I can’t help it and keep thinking that you used to be mine whenever I see you on TV. I was mad because I couldn’t handle with myself. I knew that I still miss you, I still want you, and I still love you. I want to forget you and trying to move on. But you were everywhere. You were in every channels, on billboard, on ever poster I saw. And it didn’t help at all. I want you to go away from my life, I want to never see you again so maybe I can move on easier. So in my desperate mind, I tried to take you down, get my connections to stop you. But I know you, you’ll never stop. So I tried another way, if I can’t make you go away, then I will make you came to me. Because deep inside I know I still want you back to me. But the sad thing is that even after I’ve put you in the hardest time, even when I’ve clearly showed up to you and bluntly show you how much I could help you, you still didn’t come to me. I make myself to look as superior as I could be, where most of woman would like to be with me. But still, you didn’t come to me. It’s hurt me so much more than I should’ve care. Because I knew I should’ve cared at all but I still care anyway. it’s hurts me even more when I accidentally saw you hurt because of what I did to you, to the point you want to give up on everything you’ve earned on 7 years of your career. I realized i went too far, instead making you come to me, I’m hurting us both. Then I realized, we don’t need to fought and trying to bringing down one another. We are just wasting our time and our energy. All I need is to ask you and tell you how much I still love you, how much I miss you, and how I want us to be together again. Because apparently you’re still have the same feeling like me. You said you didn’t come to me because I was such a jerk to you, I was scaring you. I know, and I’m so sorry. If I remembered it all again it’s disgust me to think that I did what I did to you. I was such a jerk, I think I don’t deserve you. are you sure you still want to marry me? please, keep still be my wife. I can’t even think what would I do if tomorrow suddenly you runaway from me. Don’t, baby.

It’s seem just yesterday when we showed our closeness to public. It was when you were debut your Solo and we celebrated together Bigbang’s winning after I pulled you in the middle of us, leaving public to curious what was happened.  We worked and promoted on our first collaboration mini album that leave everyone to curious even more about our relationship (thanks to Jiyong and his so called mediaplay for posting our old pictures on his instagram). It’s seem also just yesterday when I had to left you for almost 2 years on military service. You spent most of your time I overseas, working on another collaboration with other foreign singer/rapper to continue your success the last time. I’m so proud of you, and I would always tried to watch every news about you. My friends there, even if they weren’t sure about us, still would tease me whenever your name was said. Strangely it’s make me so proud and happy with pride. It’s like there was  unspoken statement that you’re mine, no matter how they likes you as fans, they will respect me (with jealousy) as your man.

It’s seem just yesterday when I finally comeback from military service. We spent 2 long weeks on holiday together before we worked on our album again. This time we make an English version album. When I think of it again, we were so brave and so blunt to take the move. Thankfully the result is more than what we expected. I feel so lucky, I get the success more than I knew with the person I love. We successes to held so many concerts in so many countries. It was never feel like that I was actually working. It’s just like another ‘date’. At the end of our Tour in LA, remember? Yes, that. Right on your birthday, I’ve finally take another step on our relationship, I’ve proposed on you, which make you my fiancée.

And Tomorrow is the Day, when we will finally sai