It was ridiculous how nervous he felt asking Taeyeon if she wanted to go out for dinner the coming Friday. It wasn’t like they had never gone out to eat or hung out by themselves before; they had known each other for a decade, and it was inevitable. The difference this time? Friday happened to be Valentine’s Day, and well, Minho liked Taeyeon. A lot.

It had started out innocent enough—just a tiny crush that he was able to ignore for several years thanks to the numerous girlfriends he had been distracted by. As they entered high school, his feelings became harder and harder to ignore, especially when he started spending his most of free time with Taeyeon and girls became the number one topic of conversation between guys. Call him slow, but it wasn’t until his last year of high school that he accepted his feelings. The result: he was a nervous wreck around Taeyeon and could hardly keep up conversation because he was having imaginary ones with her in his head.

Taeyeon chattered away at his side as they made their way home. While Minho smiled and nodded and spent the entire time looking at Taeyeon—or more accurately, her lips—he had no idea what she was talking about. He felt guilty for only paying half-attention to her, but he was preoccupied trying to figure out how to ask her out for dinner. He took a deep breath and cut Taeyeon off mid-sentence: “Any plans this weekend?”

Taeyeon took a moment before answering. “Homework, probably. Why?” She tucked a lock of black hair behind her ear, looking everywhere but at him and a tiny bit of Minho’s courage left him. That was a bad sign, right?

He clenched his fists inside his pockets in determination. “I was wondering if you’d like to go out for dinner this Friday.” He tried to sound as casual as possible even as he felt his cheeks heat up and his heart pounded furiously in his chest.

“O—oh,” Taeyeon stammered, “on Valentine’s Day?” she squeaked, sounding rather scared and Minho felt himself deflate.

“We can invite Jonghyun and Gwiboon and Naeun,” he said in a rush, trying to save Taeyeon (and himself, too) from an awkward situation. “It’s been awhile since we’ve all hung out together.”

Taeyeon finally looked up and him and Minho tried to ignore the pang in his heart when she smiled, looking far too relieved.

“Okay, sounds fun.”

* * *

While they were waiting for a table, Minho did his best to stick close to Taeyeon’s side. Two reasons for this: (1) he liked hovering over Taeyeon’s shoulder, and he imagined that to everyone else, they looked like a couple given how close they were standing to each other, and (2) he wanted to make sure he could nab a seat by Taeyeon.

But somehow, as they were being led to their table, they managed to get separated. Minho rushed past Jonghyun to grab a seat beside Taeyeon, hoping that he wasn’t too obvious. Jonghyun raised a brow at him, but had the grace to refrain from commenting, to his relief.

Minho felt giddy when his knee met Taeyeon’s beneath the table. He forced himself to pull away after a few short seconds because he didn’t want to seem like he was coming onto her. It almost felt like a date: they sat so close that their shoulders were but an inch from each other, and they were hunched over a single menu because there weren’t enough to go around.

If he tried hard enough, he could pretend that it was just the two of them. But then Jonghyun cracked a joke and Gwiboon laughed a bit too loudly and Minho had to force a smile when all he wanted to do was glare.

Taeyeon bounced excitedly in her set after making her order and Minho pressed his lips together to keep from smiling too hard. When their food arrived, Minho told Taeyeon she was welcome to try the roast lamb he ordered. It wasn’t really an offer—he wanted to share his food with her (because once again, it was something couples did). Taeyeon nodded, but made no move to pick at his plate, and Minho slowed down the pace of his eating just in case she wanted a taste after all.

He was almost halfway through his plate when he decided to ask again. “Are you sure you don’t want any? It’s really good,” he said, edging his plate towards her.

Taeyeon laughed. “Well, if you’re insisting, I’m not saying no to free food.”

Minho smiled back and cut her a piece of lamb. And then he noticed Jonghyun waggling his eyebrows at him, looking like he was about to say something embarrassing, and Minho was suddenly rushing to share his food with everyone else. He sighed when they all accepted. He didn’t actually want them to say yes. But he also didn’t want Jonghyun announcing that Taeyeon was receiving preferential treatment because Minho fancied her. He supposed that sacrifices would have to be made.

Taeyeon thought that dinner was a maddening affair. Minho kept offering her food and she didn’t know whether or not to accept. Maybe Minho was just being nice, but it seemed awfully couple-y when a boy and a girl share food, and she didn’t want to risk exposing her feelings. To make matters worse, his thigh kept touching her own, and she couldn’t tell if it was because their table was too cramped or—dare she hope?—he liked her just a bit too. But then again, they’ve been friends since childhood, and a bit of skinship here or there didn’t mean anything. If something was going to happen between them, it would have happened already, right?

At the end of their meal, the waiter came to collect their plates. “Happy Valentine’s Day, ladies,” he said in a ridiculously deep voice. Gwiboon and Naeun giggled and thanked him, while Taeyeon remained silent, digging through her bag for her wallet. The waiter must have noticed her lack of response, because Taeyeon felt large hands falling upon her shoulders and giving them a squeeze. She stiffened.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” he said to her.

She mumbled a ‘thanks’ and the man laughs.

“Is that your boyfriend?” he asked, referring to Minho.

Taeyeon’s heart leapt to and she said quickly, “No!” For the first time, she was thankful for how stuffy the restaurant was. She could blame her flaming cheeks on the heat.

“Well, he should be,” their waiter said. Their table erupted into laughter and catcalls and Taeyeon laughed with them in an effort to hide her embarrassment and pleasure. She dipped her head, peering at Minho from beneath her bangs. He was such a sight to behold when he threw his head back to laugh, eyes crinkling and all of his teeth showing in delight. Taeyeon bit her lip and smiled when Minho didn’t immediately refute the idea.

It was all Taeyeon thought about as they made their way to the nearest ice cream parlour. She remained quiet for most of the walk, trailing behind the group, listening to Minho and Jonghyun argue about soccer and shove each other around in the way guys do. She thought about how ridiculously attractive Minho was with his strong features and deep voice.

She caught sight of her own reflection in the windows and couldn’t help but feel a little bit insecure about her terribly boring black bob and plain clothes. She didn’t realise she had fallen so far behind until Minho was at her side.

“Hey.” Minho smiled at her, nudging her with his shoulder. “You okay?”

Taeyeon nudged him back with her elbow, flattered that Minho was paying attention to her. “Yup. Was just doing some window shopping.”

Minho wasn’t surprised when spent more time trying not to reach out and grab Taeyeon’s hand than actually talking to her. He found himself thinking that he needed to get a girlfriend ASAP before he did something he would regret. He had been single for almost half a year now (hoping that Taeyeon would either ask him out or drop a hint so obvious he would have to be blind, deaf, or just plain stupid to have missed it. No such luck). While he didn’t mind being single, it meant spending more time with Taeyeon, which was simultaneously tortuous and exhilarating. He cursed himself for being such a coward as he thought about girls other than Taeyeon he wouldn’t mind dating.

Yuri immediately came to mind. She had been texting him every morning and around the clock and Snapchatting him pictures of herself like crazy (OMG Look at my bedhead—yuck! and Minho was thinking how Yuri’s bedhead had nothing on the way Taeyeon’s hair would stick up in tufts). Whenever he passed by Yuri and her group of friends, they would all start giggling and Yuri would be whispering frantically at them to shut up. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind that she liked him

* * *

When Minho woke up the next morning, the first thing he did was text Taeyeon: GOOD MORNINGGGG!

He hummed, tapping idly at his phone, wondering how he should ask Yuri out. He shrugged, and maybe he was being a bit arrogant, but he figured that it didn’t matter when Yuri was probably going to say ‘yes’ anyways.

Minho sighed, typing up a quick reply then throwing his phone onto the nightstand. He curled back into his bed, burrowing beneath his blankets. 10AM on a weekend was a bit too early. For months he had been working up the courage to tell Taeyeon he liked her. He had spent far too much time typing up texts only to delete them seconds later, cringing in embarrassment at his words.

Taeyeon, I’m really sorry if this ruins our friendship, but I need to tell you because it’s literally driving me insane how much I like you. Delete, delete, delete.

Taeyeon… I hope our friendship is strong enough that it won’t be ruined by what I’m going to say next. I like you a lot, and I’ve liked you for a really long time. You mean a lot to me and you make me happy… Would you consider going out with me? Nope, delete that one immediately.

TAEYEON PLEASE DATE MEEE. we’d be amazing together I can be a good boyfriend I promise!!!

“Confessing” to Yuri by contrast, took only ten seconds. Minho frowned, feeling guilty for using her. But he could learn to like her, right?

* * *

When Minho hit her with the news that he was now dating Kwon Yuri, Taeyeon felt her gut drop. If she weren’t already sitting down, she was sure her knees would have wobbled. Taeyeon swallowed with great difficulty, trying to find it in herself to muster up a smile.

“Are you serious? That’s freaking awesome!” Taeyeon cheered, and she thought that it was acceptable to hug Minho in congratulations. She wasn’t sure when she would next be able to hug him. “Yuri’s super pretty, oh my god, Minho, you lucky man. Everyone’s going to be jealous of you.”

And maybe she was referring to how jealous she was. Maybe the hug lasted for a little too long, but she couldn’t bring herself to care when Minho was hugging her back and holding her close. She tried not to bury her head into the crook of his neck. She tried not to think about how much Minho must like Yuri because he was squeezing her tight in what could only be excitement.

Taeyeon pulled away reluctantly, coming face-to-face with a grinning and flushed Minho. She felt her heart twist and she hated herself for hoping that they would break up soon.

“Thanks, Taeyeon.”

“I’m really happy for you,” Taeyeon said as sincerely as possible. She sighed inwardly. How could she compete with someone like Yuri? It wouldn’t even be a competition, because god, what a couple they would make. Smart, talented, beautiful and handsome. She just hoped that Minho would find time to spend with her, and that the start of his relationship with Yuri wouldn’t mean the end of their friendship.

Taeyeon wasn’t stupid. She had noticed the way Minho had a hard time talking to her, how he spaced out when she talked, eyes glazed over and looking like he’d rather be anywhere but with her. It scared her.

* * *

“Minho! Let’s go to the mall after school!” Taeyeon demanded more than she asked, giving Minho’s side a nudge. “They finally finished renovating.”

If Taeyeon was honest, she couldn’t care less about the mall. She just wanted to spend time with Minho. Ever since he started dating Yuri, the hours they spent together became the few minutes they spoke to each other in between classes.

Minho hummed thoughtfully, and Taeyeon’s smile faltered when he took longer than usual to respond. “Sure,” he said finally. “But can Yuri come? I told her I would hangout with her.”

Taeyeon held back a sigh, knowing that Minho would feel terribly guilty if she made her disappointment clear. “That would make me feel really awkward,” Taeyeon admitted. “Let’s just go next time, okay? Let me know when you’re free.” She adjusted her bag on her shoulder, about to leave when Minho spoke:

“Are you sure?” he asked, a small frown on his lips. “I can just tell Yuri I’ve made plans… I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.”

Taeyeon waved him off. “No, no. Don’t do that. We probably spend too much time together anyways,” she said, thinking that she could never get enough of Minho.

* * *

Taeyeon went to the mall by herself that afternoon, earphones plugged in and a bounce in her step. She didn’t need Minho. She could still have fun without him.

But then she found herself sifting through racks of cute floral prints and short shorts, wondering if Minho would like them. She looked down at her own plain t-shirt and capris she bought on sale at a department store, and she couldn’t help but compare herself to Yuri.

Yuri dressed like a model: high-waisted shorts that revealed long, toned legs, crop tops that teasingly exposed an inch of milky white skin, gold studded flats, simple accessories. Even when she had gathered her hair up into a messy bun, she looked effortlessly chic. Taeyeon had tried recreating the look at home, but her hair was far too short and the buns never held (and that’s why she settled for headbands).

Taeyeon pursed her lips. Maybe if she wore patterns and brighter colours and accessorised, Minho would notice her. And maybe she should lose the headband too, because Minho always for wearing one at her age.

She picked out a chiffon crop top from the rack at random (well, not quite random; it looked like something Yuri would wear). She checked the price tag and gasped and immediately rushed out of the store.

Taeyeon passed by a newly opened beauty salon and then backtracked, peering through the windows. She twirled her hair thoughtfully. She remembered Minho telling her months ago that he liked girls with big curls in their hair. Her own hair was a bit short, but it should still be able to hold curls. She cursed herself for making her fashion decisions based upon what she thought Minho would like, all the while entering the store and heading for the curling irons. I’ll just look, she told herself.

And then somehow, Taeyeon was leaving the store with an empty wallet and a bag of makeup and a curling iron.

* * *

Taeyeon only woke up an hour early to do her makeup that morning.

She dragged her feet into the bathroom, rubbing the sleep from her eyes with one fist, a small makeup bag and laptop tucked under her other arm. She set her belongings on the countertops, laying out her new brushes and eyeshadows and powders. She pulled up a makeup tutorial (5 Minute Everyday Makeup for Spring) that she narrowed down from dozens of YouTube videos (which had taken hours and so she had gotten no homework done last night). Clipping her hair back and giving her reflection a determined look, Taeyeon set about getting ready for the day.

Half an hour later, Taeyeon straightened, a smile tugging at her now-pink lips. She leaned in close to the mirror, check for any spots that might have missed coverage. She turned her face side-to-side and pursed her lips and winked in the way she had seen the popular girls in her school do. It didn’t take her nearly as long to do her makeup as she thought it would—probably because she spent some time practising last night, too. Glancing at the clock, she decided she had time to curl her hair.

* * *

Minho’s stomach tightened in jealousy the moment he set his eyes on Taeyeon—she had done her hair and she was wearing makeup. Okay, so what if her curls were different sizes? Who cares if her eyebrows were uneven and too dark, her mascara was clumped, and the blush on her cheeks was inexpertly applied? The point was: Taeyeon never wore makeup. And so the only logical conclusion he could come to was that Taeyeon had someone she liked, and he hated it.

He took a second too long to speak, and Taeyeon dropped her eyes, playing with the hem of her shirt. Cute. Really cute. Minho forced himself to smile.

“Good Morning, Taeyeon,” he said. His breath did not hitch when Taeyeon looked up at him and beamed.

“Morning, Minho!” She looked at him expectantly, hands behind her back, rocking back and forth on her feet. “So…” she started, and Minho laughed softly, knowing exactly what Taeyeon was trying to get at.

“You look good,” he said.

“Thanks!” she chirped, turning back to her locker to gather her books.

It took Minho too much effort to swallow the lump in his throat. “So who’s the lucky guy?” he asked.

Taeyeon stiffened and glanced at Minho before looking away. She felt herself turning red all over as she racked her brain for something to say. “Um…” she stuttered, blinking furiously. What was she supposed to say? You are, Minho! You’re the lucky guy!

Yes—that was it. That was exactly what she should say. She would pass it off as a joke. She had been friends with Minho for ages, so it should be fine. Plus Minho told her she looked good today (even though she had a feeling he only said that because he was obliged to). But then Minho moved slightly and she saw that all the pictures they had taken together were gone from his locker, replaced by ones of him and Yuri and every last bit of courage left Taeyeon. Her heart clenched in her chest and she felt strangely empty. She didn’t think she would be replaced so quickly.

“No—no one,” she stammered, not looking at Minho. She kept forgetting about how gorgeous Yuri was. Why would Minho choose her over Yuri?

“You’re lying,” Minho frowned at her. “Tell me who it is!” he demanded childishly.

“It’s no one!” Taeyeon insisted with a huff, collecting her books into her back and closing her locker.

“But you’re all dressed up today,” Minho said, trying to keep the whine from his voice. He felt like he was on the brink of throwing a fit right then and there. “You never dress up.”

“Maybe I just want to be pretty!”

Minho’s response was immediate: “But you’re already pret—” he flushed when he realised what he was about to say. He finished weakly, “—ty…” Oh god. Oh god, please kill me.

Taeyeon looked at him wide-eyed and startled, looking just as red as Minho felt. Minho found himself scrambling to save face. “Tell me or I’m going to have to force it out of you,” he threatened, edging closer to Taeyeon who took a step back.

Minho continued to shuffle forward for every inch Taeyeon backed away, a grin coming over his face. Then he pounced on her, attacking her sides with playful fingers. Taeyeon cried out with laughter, nose scrunched up and trying desperately to push Minho away, but Minho wouldn’t have it, crowding her against the metal lockers.

“Tell me!” he said again, relentless in his tickles (and painfully aware of how close they were to each other).

“No! St—stop it, Minho!” Taeyeon managed in between laughs, turning a bright pink right to the tips of her ears from lack of oxygen. Tears of mirth formed in the corners of her eyes and it was adorable and Minho was overcome by an urge to kiss her all over her face. “Stop!” she said again, wiping at her eyes. “You’re going to ruin my makeup!”

Minho wanted to say, Who cares? You’re already beautiful anyways, but instead he bit his tongue and said, “Not stopping unless you tell me who you like.”

“Jong—Jongin!” she choked out and Minho’s hands dropped away from her sides immediately. He took a step back, heart heavy in his chest. She really did like someone; he was hoping that she just wanted to get dolled up on a whim like she had said. He looked at his feet, hoping that Taeyeon wouldn’t see how crushed he looked.

And then a voice came from behind him: “Yes?”

“Oh!” Taeyeon gasped, hands flying to and turning even more red if it were possible. “Um…”

Minho turned around slowly, a glare already on his face when he recognised the owner of the deep voice to be Kim Jongin. He wrinkled his nose, casting his eyes up and down Jongin and wondering what the hell the boy had that he didn’t. Jongin was tall and handsome—Minho would give him that. But he was also the heartthrob of the junior year, and that made him dangerous. Plus Minho thought he was quite good-looking himself. And he was sure he could beat Jongin in most, if not all sports.

Why doesn’t Taeyeon like me? Minho thought almost petulantly.

Jongin pointedly ignored him, smiling at Taeyeon, and Minho took a step closer to her as if to shield her from his eyes.

“You said my name,” Jongin prompted.

Taeyeon nodded, worrying at her lips. “Yes,” she squeaked. She gave Jongin a small wave, not quite meeting the boy’s eyes. “Hi.”

Jongin laughed, and wasn’t it stupid that Minho suddenly hated everything about Jongin, laugh included?

“Hi, Taeyeon. You look really pretty today,” Jongin said with the confidence Minho lacked, and the entire time Minho was thinking Jongin was a dog and probably said that to all the girls.

Taeyeon mumbled a ‘thank you’, and Jongin laughed again. Minho wanted to tell him to shut up—it wasn’t that funny.

“So I guess I’ll see you in class then?” Jongin asked.

Taeyeon nodded. “Yes, see you.”

Jongin lingered. “Cool.”

Minho imagined himself stepping in front of Taeyeon and shooing Jongin away: “Okay, break it up guys. This conversation is over.”

The three of them all stood around awkwardly, until someone called Jongin’s name and the boy ran off, throwing one last grin at Taeyeon over his shoulder.

When Minho turned back to Taeyeon, he found her fanning her cheeks and his eyes softened.

“Oh my god, I’m so embarrassed,” Taeyeon breathed.

“So you like him, huh?” Minho asked, wondering why he was torturing himself by asking a question he already knew the answer to. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”

“Sorry,” Taeyeon started, unsure of what to say. That was because she didn’t like Jongin. It was just so hard to concentrate when Minho was pressed up against her and tickling her sides and her eyes just happened to land on Jongin. But before she could come up with a excuse for not telling Minho about her “crush”, Kwon Yuri rushed past her, all but slamming Minho into the lockers in a hug.

Taeyeon immediately felt tiny in her presence because Yuri was so pretty that most guys went stupid for her.

“Hi, Minho!” Yuri greeted, wrapping her arms around Minho’s neck and giving him a great big smooch on the cheek.

Taeyeon tore her eyes away, and perhaps it wasn’t the best of ideas, because she found herself looking at the way Minho’s strong forearms were wrapped around a tiny waist and wondering how Minho’s arms would feel around her instead. In a boyfriend-girlfriend hug, not a friend-to-friend one.

“Hey, babe,” Minho said, and Taeyeon frowned at the floor. She hiked her messenger bag up her shoulder, deciding to slip away. She would just text Minho later and apologise for leaving without a goodbye.

But then Yuri said, “Hi, Taeyeon,” and Taeyeon looked up. She instantly regretted it when Yuri stifled a laugh with the back of her hand.

“Hi,” Taeyeon replied hesitantly, all of a sudden self-conscious of her makeup. She raised a hand to her cheek, scratching at her temple in an effort to hide her makeup.

“What happened to your face?” Yuri asked, sounding genuinely curious. Taeyeon felt her cheeks heat up alarmingly fast and she was mortified when Yuri smiled big at her.

“Knock it off, Yuri,” Minho said, retracting his arms from Yuri. Yuri shrugged, leaning her head on Minho’s shoulder.

“What? Did I say something wrong?” she asked, looking up at her boyfriend imploringly.

“Um, I’m going to go,” Taeyeon said, casting her eyes down so that her bangs fell over her face. “See you around.”

“Bye-bye, Taeyeon!”

“Taeyeon, wait—”

Taeyeon scrambled away, making a beeline to the girls washroom rather than class, hot tears of embarrassment pricking at her eyes. She took out the makeup removing wipes from her bag and rubbed furiously at her eyes, praying with all her heart the ground would open up and swallow her whole.

She was so stupid. Of course Minho told her she looked good—that’s what friends did. But best friends are honest, and she wished that Minho just told her that her efforts would be wasted.

* * *

“You took off your makeup,” Minho commented.

“Yeah.” Taeyeon nodded, forcing herself to laugh.

“Well, if it means anything, I think…” Minho trailed off, and Taeyeon turned towards him curiously. “I think, um. I think.”

Taeyeon let a genuine laugh slip this time. “Don’t hurt yourself, Minho.”

Minho turned pink and Taeyeon chided herself for finding it endearing.

“I think you look great without makeup.”

Taeyeon blinked, wondering if she heard correctly. And then her brain finally registered Minho’s words and she felt a shy pleasure creeping over her. She tried to brush off Minho’s compliment, telling herself that Minho was only saying it because he was her friend and because he felt guilty about what happened earlier that day.

“Only because I don’t know how to apply it properly,” she mumbled, cheeks ablaze.

Minho smiled at her with all of his boyish charm and Taeyeon couldn’t duck away in time before Minho ruffled her hair.

"I'm serious Taeyeon," he said again. "You look b-b-beautiful."

Taeyeon laughed and straightened her headband. Minho would be much more believable if he didn't sound so pained saying it.

Taeyeon didn’t lie in bed that night, replaying that moment when Minho told her she was beautiful over and over again. She didn’t bury her head into her pillow, smiling wide and biting her lip, wondering what his words might mean. She didn’t stay awake long into the night, imagining Minho confessing to her, or she confessing to him. And well, if she did, she would never admit it.