There was absolutely no time at all for him to think about what had happened last night. A customer had called in to cancel their order, without giving any reason as to why. If his boss found out about this, he would surely blame him even if it weren’t his fault. 

It was hard to concentrate however hard he tried, because whenever the procrastinating side of him took over, Donghae’s face would settle itself comfortably in his mind, refusing to go away.

He wondered if he would ever see that Donghae again.

**

Despite almost dying at work, the first thing Hyukjae did after he got home was to turn on the game.

That feeling was addictive. It was different from when you secretly have a crush on someone. Way different. It was that feeling of liking someone while you knew that they liked you too- which made you feel valued, protected, and proud. Everything else in the world was forgotten when you were with that special person. And Hyukjae had not felt like this in years.

His heart started pounding as he entered the same two names. He felt like a giddy teenager. His heartbeat almost came to a stop, though, when he recognized the person in front of him.

It was him.

It was Donghae.

He had the same eyes, the same hair, and the same warmth radiated from his beaming smile. Hyukjae was mesmerized, to say the least...… but something was missing. What was it?

A flash of memory. “… you will retain your memories…”

Yes. That was why he could not stop thinking about the brunette, not even in his dreams.

“… once you succeed… your feelings will be deleted.”

So that was why.

That was why he didn’t feel that joy that he had been anticipating ever since he last played. Why his heart didn’t threaten to burst out of his chest with every movement of the other. Hyukjae stood still, frozen from disappointment, until Donghae grabbed his hand and started to stride. “We’ll have lunch at the ramen shop I went to last time. I’m sure you’ll like it.”

He watched the intertwined hands in front of him as he was dragged across the road, and noticed how perfectly they suited each other, albeit the contrasting skin tones. His was pale, almost white in the bright sunlight, while the other was tanned and glowing. So this is what being a couple felt like.

When they reached their destination and Donghae turned around, the taller man was surprised to see his eyebrows pulled slightly together, and his lips no longer curling upwards.

“What have you been eating? You feel so light, we have to get lots of food in you. Come on.”

He started to protest, but the words got cut off by an intimidating line of waitresses that greeted them once they stepped through the door. He was skinny, yes, but he wasn’t that light. Hyukjae got momentarily shocked at the fact that he just considered showing his muscles to Donghae in order to prove he wasn’t light and weak. It was their first date, for goodness sake.

There was a menu on the table so instinctively he reached over to pick it up and decide on what to have. His motion was abruptly stopped by a smiling Donghae, who didn’t let go of his hand even after Hyukjae turned motionless and looked confused.

“I’ve already ordered for us, so just sit and wait for your meal.”

The dark haired man felt a sliver of annoyance when he heard this. He was a picky eater, and Donghae hadn’t even asked what he liked and disliked, so how could he just go ahead and choose for him?

The brunette seemed to notice his discomfort, and his lips stretched wide before he gave the other’s hand a tiny squeeze.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll like it.”

Hyukjae was not convinced. One of the things he valued the most was his food, and who was Donghae to decide what he put in his mouth?

Without realizing it, a small pout had appeared on the older man’s face. It quickly turned into a frown when a steaming bowl of seafood ramen was served to him. He didn’t eat seafood.

In order to not embarrass Donghae, who was watching him with expectant eyes, Hyukjae pulled out a large chopstick-full of noodles and devoured the whole thing in one go.

“Do you like it?” Donghae hadn’t touched his own bowl.

He swallowed. “Um…. the noodles are nice.”

The rest of the meal was finished in half-silence, as Hyukjae mumbled one sentence responses while finishing all the noodles, but left the seafood hidden in the soup. He almost came to the conclusion that the other man had not noticed this, until Donghae spoke up after they left the restaurant.

“I’m sorry you didn’t seem to like the noodles. We won’t come here again.”

For an instant he felt guilty towards the shop owners, whom he trusted to make very delicious noodles given the amount of customers. However, his face dropped when the realisation of what the other had said hit him. He had just declared that they wouldn’t come again, without even knowing the real reason why he didn’t enjoy it. What’s more important, he didn’t even try to find out why. At the thought of this, the ebony hair no longer wanted to continue walking, and simply said, “I feel tired. Let’s meet again some other time.”

“Ok, sure.”

Hyukjae barely had time to turn around before the other completely disappeared from his vision. He had just vanished.

All of a sudden, he remembered that this was a virtual game. And that this time, his first date apparently did not go well.

His footsteps echoed on the gravel footpath; lonely. What was he doing here? What was he doing with his life? Was it that important to find somebody who was the right one? Why was it so hard?

Gradually, his eyes become clouded and obstructed him from noticing that he had deviated from the footpath.

“Hyukjae! No!”

A squeal of tires. A scream. Blood.

A/N: who noticed my R18 joke in this chapter?