PROLOGUE 

 

Confession is a form of social experiment for him, but it wasn’t for me

 

 

Confessing to someone that you’ve started to like for a few months is something that requires a lot of courage, especially if that person doesn’t know that you existed before you confessed. It really takes a lot of courage, and three packs of M&Ms plus a can of iced coffee. Yes, I needed all that sugar to be able to do this.

“Are you ready, Luisa?” my friend, Shannon, asked as she handed me the big placards that she borrowed from her roommate who just finished a social experiment for their Social Anthropology 101 class at SM Baguio. For the experiment, she confessed to random stranger in the middle of the atrium, how cool is that? When Shannon told me that her roommate would do it, it gave me the courage that I needed to confess to my three-month crush, a junior, with the name of Kyuhyun Cho. He’s the most good-looking person that I have ever seen in UP Baguio (except my older brother and Kyuhyun’s friend, Kibum. He really is good-looking but he’s too good-looking for me, and he isn’t my type) and his voice is really angelic. I first saw him during our Freshie Consolidation Night, and since then, my eyes have been constantly searching for him around the campus. Seeing him makes my day at UP even better, and it gives me so much inspiration to study and do better with my acads. I’ve always watched him from afar (I know it’s creepy but it’s the only way for me to see him) and stalked his Facebook account (yes, stalker level 1000) because, I repeat, it’s the only way for me to see him and know what he’s up to. Even though this confession thing might be embarrassing, I can use the excuse of it being a social experiment just in case he rejects me, but I can’t guarantee myself that it wouldn’t hurt and that I wouldn’t cry. I’m not ready for those kinds of stuffs! “This is it, you can do it. Remember what you practiced: if he rejects you, this is a social experiment, okay?”

I nodded with determination as Shannon handed me the large placards and followed me to the cafeteria while holding the balloons. I am extremely breaking the norms right now (according to UP teachings, hooray!) because according to our society (well, social science classes are really helpful), ladies are expected to act like Maria Clara and be all gentle and feminine and cover their mouths with a freaking fan when they laugh or get married because a guy laid a hand on you, but hello? We’re in the freaking twenty-first century and gender roles are somewhat switched, and we’re almost reaching the peak of gender equality (hopefully.) Enough with the society talks, I swear I’ve had enough of talks about society and that word is already used by a lot of people here at UP for the nth time and I don’t want to be part of that population. I came here to study and improve my skills, not to join different acts of protest because the government is corrupt or anything. Seriously, not all UP students are activists!

Anyways, both Shannon and I entered the cafeteria, some pair of eyes are curiously staring at us, but my eyes were only glued to one specific person seated on the right side of the cafeteria: there he is, Kyuhyun Cho. With heart in my hand, I nervously made my way towards their table. I might faint on the spot, but that would even be more embarrassing than confessing my feelings for him.

When Kean, Kyuhyun’s best friend and my classmate in our bloc’s Humanities 1 class, saw me, she mouthed: ‘What on earth are you doing, Luisa?’ I just shrugged and smiled shyly at her.

Kean is Kyuhyun’s best friend and a junior as well. I’ve known her since the start of the semester. She is my seatmate in our Humanities 1 class and I’ve been talking to her since the first day. You can’t blame me, though. I’m naturally talkative and I can’t help it. Kean is really nice, and she’s fun to talk to and be with. She keeps on giving me some advices on how to survive my freshman year in UP, and how to survive the next. She keeps me updated with some events of the university (some of her friends are part of the events committee of the University Student Council) and she cheers me on during performances (during Consolidation and Freshie Night). She really is the older sister that I wanted.

I cleared my throat and tapped Kyuhyun’s shoulder. He stopped laughing and slowly turned his head to face me with a confused expression on his face. This is it, Luisa. You can do it.

You’re the most wonderful person that
I have ever met, and I want YOU to know that
I really, really like you.
Please, accept my feelings? J

I smiled shyly at him as I held the last placard with trembling hands. I did it! I freaking did it!  The people inside the cafeteria cheered for me (I guess) and clapped. Is that good? I don’t know. It’s my first time to do this; I have never confessed my feelings to the person that I like. I usually keep it all in until it fades and do nothing to try to move his heart or make him like me, but what I feel for Kyuhyun is different. There’s something in him that I really like but I can’t tell what it is, and there’s something inside me that tells me that I have to make him like me. Don’t freak out, Luisa. Don’t freak out. You did this, just wait for his answer or reaction.

He just stared at me with a blank expression on his face and it is making me nervous. Every second that he kept his silence felt like a century for me. What, am I rejected?

“Dude, say something.” Kean continuously poked his hand which was on the table but he just shrugged and stared at me once again. “Don’t be rude.”

After what felt like an eternity, he spoke up, but what he said made me frozen on the spot where I am right now. “Is this some kind of social experiment?”

That was unexpected. I was thinking and predicting that he’ll ask who I am, or if this was some kind of joke or say sorry because he doesn’t like me (which is clear to me; he doesn’t know me, how would he like me? duuuuh.), but we’re talking about Kyuhyun here, and I swear, he isn’t an ordinary guy. Even his way of thinking, according to Kean, is unpredictable. He wouldn’t do what you expect him to do; he’s cool like that.

Kean gave herself a facepalm and pinched Kyuhyun’s arm, to which he whined. “What the , Kean? I was just asking her!”

“That is rude, Kyuhyun! You didn’t need to do that!” Kean looked at me with a worried expression but I just gave her a slight smile.

“I was just asking! What’s wrong with that? I’ve seen so many social experiments in school and it’s obvious that it’s one. No need to get all dramatic and ty, we’re in UP, Kean.” He then looked at me and gave me a slight smile. “Good luck on your grade.”

And that was how my first confession ended. I didn’t even get to introduce myself or ask him some things. I got dismissed because he thought that it was a social experiment.

 

 

“Oh my gosh! Goodness gracious! Stop crying, Luisa!” Shannon handed me another box of tissue paper after I finished the first one. Crying is the only way for me to let out all of the feelings inside me, especially after what happened.

Throughout the whole day, I have been feeling like crap (thanks to how Kyuhyun dealt with my confession) and I fought the urge to cry. I really felt like crying after he sent me off but I can’t cry in front of him, I can’t cry in front of everybody. For them, it was a social experiment and I had to keep it that way. So, what I did was nod at him and told him that yes, it is a social experiment for my Social Anthropology 101 class and that I thank him for cooperating. It was as simple as that, and I made my exit, feeling as ty as ever. Who knew that I could actually use the social experiment thing as an excuse just to save my sorry ?

Social experiments have been a part of our university. Because of different social science classes that require these kinds of things, I’ve seen people go to school only wearing a bathrobe, or a towel or a wedding dress and things like that. My personal space had also been violated because of social experiments (someone sat beside me and read what I was typing on my mobile phone and that really felt creepy and made me want to punch that person in the face, but it’s a good thing that I didn’t otherwise it would be written on their research papers, and they (the ones who did the social experiment) would remember me as the person who punched them and I certainly don’t want that to happen) and then this: confession to a random stranger, but in my case, he wasn’t just a random stranger, nor was I in a social science class that required me to perform a social experiment, but this was actually real. I really like Kyuhyun, for real, but he thought that I was doing a social experiment. Yeah, right. Social experiment my .

“Do you still want some chocolates? Or milkshake? I can order some for you, just please, stop crying. It wouldn’t make Kyuhyun like you back, or take back what he said at the cafeteria!”

That made me cry harder. What Shannon said was true: crying like this wouldn’t make Kyuhyun like me back, or make him think that that confession wasn’t a social experiment. If I let him think that it was, indeed, a social experiment, I might as well give him the benefit of the doubt: at least he found out that someone like me existed, and he wouldn’t forget me, thus, making it easier for me to make him like me back. Isn’t that amazing?

“Why is my sister crying, Shannon?” I looked up only to see my older brother, Kris, standing by my doorframe. He crossed his arms and looked at me with a ‘you-need-to-tell-me-what-happened’ kind of look.

“She confessed to Kyuhyun and he thought it was a social experiment. He even patted her shoulder and told her: ‘good luck on your grades’.” Shannon said as she handed another sheet of tissue paper to me. Yes, my older brother knows about how much I like Kyuhyun. To be honest, Kris knows everything. Why not? He’s my brother and he just laughs at me for all of this craziness that I did, I am doing and will be doing. He may react like that most of the time, but he gives really great advices. There are times when he’s a little too honest to the point that you would really want to punch him in the face so hard, but that’s okay since most of the time, I needed them anyway. He may be frank and a little too straightforward, but if you really understand what he said and disregard the fact that he’s too honest that it hurts, it really is helpful.

He chuckled and shook his head. Why is he laughing? Is this something to laugh about? How is getting rejected funny? I watched him as he made his way towards me. “Stop crying, Luisa. I bought some ice cream for you. I kinda predicted that this would happen when I saw you holding those placards outside the cafeteria.”

I sat down and wiped my tears. “You saw me?”

He nodded. “I saw the whole thing. Now, let’s go eat that ice cream before it melts.” He ruffled my hair and smiled before going out of my room.

I hugged Shannon before standing up. “Thank you, Shannon. Really. I mean it.”

She smiled and patted my shoulder. “Anytime, Luisa. You’re my bestest friend here in Baguio, why would I turn my back on you?”

I smiled and we both headed outside my room to eat some ice cream.

“You look like a freaking panda.” Our cousin, Tao, said as soon as Shannon and I both entered the dining area. “Hi Shannon, you look really pretty today.”

“Shut up, Tao.” I rolled my eyes as I opened the tub of ice cream. Brownie Fudge ala Mode, my favourite. Kris really knows how to cheer me up. That’s one of the reasons why I love my brother so much.

“Heard you got rejected?” He asked in a teasing tone. I looked at Shannon and she just shrugged. I turned to look at Kris and glared at him, but he just shrugged as well. What is it with people and shrugging? Tao laughed at me. “I said I heard, no one told me. No one would like a crying panda though. You look like a w—”

Tao stopped midsentence because I cut him off. I attempted to give him a roundhouse kick: my foot is literally under his chin. The three of us all studied martial arts when we were young, they both studied Wushu but only Tao excelled, Kris got left behind because he said his body wasn’t fit for martial arts, while I did Tae Kwon Do and of course, I mastered it. I glared at Tao and poked his chin with my foot. “Shut the up, Tao. I’m not in the mood for all of your sh*ts.”

He chuckled and pushed my foot away with his hand. “Whatever.” He smirked before heading to his room.

“Hey, Luisa.” Shannon poked my waist repeatedly when Tao left. “Have you heard about that cheesy confession posted on The Sunshine Park Files?* I really envy…”

That sparked an idea on my mind. Everything that Shannon said after that wasn’t comprehended by my ears and processed by my mind. I just found another way on how to confess to Kyuhyun Cho without him thinking that it is a social experiment. I grinned as I looked at Shannon.

 

To Kyuhyun Cho, ComSci bloc ‘xx

Kuya, what I did in the cafeteria this lunch time wasn’t a social experiment. I really like you, now you know. Don’t forget what I look like, because I will try my very best to make you like me back. See you around campus c;

NotASocialExperiment

20xx-*****

 

**

*The Sunshine Park Files – a confession (any kind of confession) page for the students of UP Baguio; named after the park right beside UP Baguio, Sunshine Park
It looks like THIS
 

 

A/N: There would be really slow updates for this fic. I am really sorry. I'll be busy with school and I just felt like updating this. Bare with me please c: