Born without a father made five years old Taekwoon found it was hard to make friend with other kids in the kindergarten. When the children ran happily to the playground with hands linking each other, Taekwoon just sat on a bench, with a dog-eared book and his favourite black pen. He did not care about anything as long as he could write. This was his world.

It was not like he had not tried but the words could not come out from his mouth as fast as other toddlers. Taekwoon felt like they would hate and leave him after they knew he was an orphan, had unknown father and dead mother.

“Why’re you not playing with them?”

Taekwoon lifted his head and met eyes to eyes with a dark-skinned boy, who seemed curious to know the reason he was being alone. He then sat beside Taekwoon without any permission and tried to peek at his book but Taekwoon was faster than him. He tucked the small old book in his pocket and wanted to get up when the boy softly tugged Taekwoon’s slightly big jacket.

“What’s your name?”

When Taekwoon looked into his eyes he got this magic feeling and he knew he was looking at his soul mate.

“Jung Taekwoon.” His answer was short but it brought a wide smile to the dark boy.

“Hello Jung Taekwoon.” He said. “I’m Cha Hakyeon.”

///

15 years Taekwoon was bullied almost every day. The seniors were always looked for him, pushed him harshly to the wall and punched him like he was some kind of duffel bag. When he was first time getting kicked by the boy he did not even know, he cried for help but no one really care about him. They would just look at him pathetically with their heads shook in displeased way and went away fast, worried if they would be the next target.

After that day, Taekwoon never felt pain and trust nobody.

He was limping back home that late evening as five people were beating him almost to death in the gym. Taekwoon could feel the taste of iron in his mouth and hot tears falling down his scarred cheeks. He once prayed to the God to take his life away, so he could be with his mother, far from his painful reality.

Taekwoon bumped with a girl from opposite direction and he raised his head from his worn out sneakers, only to meet a pair of beautiful sparkly eyes.

“I’m sorry. I was busy with my phone-“

“It’s okay.” Taekwoon cut her. “I was wrong too.”

“Hey, you’re bleeding!” That girl pointed her shaking finger at Taekwoon’s face, eyes widen and mouth opened.

“Ah, yes. It was nothing.”

But the girl was not listened to him at all when she hurriedly kneeled down and looked through her big denim sling bag, mouth mumbling something incoherent. She finally got up, with a clean white handkerchief in her hand. The girl handed it to Taekwoon with a sweet smile.

“Take this. I don’t use it yet.” Taekwoon awkwardly took it and brought the cloth to his nose and sniffed. Hmm… smell of vanilla.

“Thanks.” He whispered. It was inaudible but the other seemed to hear it anyhow. Taekwoon was hesitated when the pretty girl asked for his name but seeing the warmth of the other’s beam and how she slightly pushed the strings of his black hair behind his ear made the line flowing from his mouth fast like a liquid.

“My name is Taekwoon. Jung Taekwoon.” Taekwoon was perplexed, as this had happen before although he did not remember when.

“Hi Jung Taekwoon.” She smiled. “I’m Cha Hakyeon."

///

The 20 years old Taekwoon was getting out from his cheap apartment on the snowy cold night for a cup of hot coffee. He slowly headed to the café at the corner of the road with thick red scarf around his neck. Taekwoon let out puff of smoke when he sighed, only to find the café was closed.

He was about to go home when he saw a figure at the bus stop. There was a big luggage beside him, as he was going for a long travel and probably would not return forever.

Taekwoon not even recognize that stranger but he felt a strong urge to know him.

After some brief conversations of ‘why’re you here’ and ‘I’m homeless, no place to go’ Taekwoon invited him to his not so big house and the other happily agreed.

As they walked home Taekwoon learnt more about him. He was kicked out of house when he told his parents he did not want to further his study in culinary as they hoped but decided to be a dancer, as his personal talent was moving his body fluidly along  the rhythm and popping his chest to the beat.

Their stories were similar, although not exactly the same.

And Taekwoon felt very sorry for him.

But as he closed the apartment door and the other crushing their lips together and pushed him to the bed seductively, the sympathy turned to lust and the cold in his house was gone, replaced with sensual groans and pleasure moans.

Taekwoon came hard in the other, panting and heavy breathed as he softly embraced the small guy on top of him. He inhaled the sweet scent of vanilla in his brown locks and closed his eyes in ecstasy. It had been a long time he had this feeling.

“You’re beautiful.”

He lifted his head to face Taekwoon and smiled shyly. His bangs damp with sweat trickling down his temples and his lips crimson red, almost bleeding.

“Thanks.”

“I’m Taekwoon by the way. Jung Taekwoon.”

“Hmm Taekwoon-ah...” He winked. “I’m Cha Hakyeon.”

///

The busy 24 years old Taekwoon now was one of the members of the popular K-Pop group, VIXX.  He himself did not trust his luck when last two years he returned from his soccer practice and received a business card from a woman who introduced herself as Luna. She was looking for a new talent for a new boy group when her sharp ears caught Taekwoon humming a song.

Being an idol was not easy as he thought. Taekwoon often cried to his sleep because of depressed. But whenever his eyes got teary, a particular guy with nice scent of vanilla perfume would embrace him and told him to stop because his tears were precious.

So Taekwoon listened to him.

People might thought Taekwoon hated him when he pushed Taekwoon too hard on broadcast and being clingy with him every time the camera focused at them but it was wrong.

Taekwoon was grateful for that, having him always by his side.

Always…

It was same like other night- Taekwoon was lying on the bed, with the other rested his head on Taekwoon’s right arm and breathed warm air near his neck, tickling him in comfortable way.

Taekwoon lifted his chin with his long finger and kissed him deep and slow on the lips, earning a soft moan from the other.

“I forget your name. Can I call you baby?”

“It’s N you dumb.” He reached for another long kiss. “But you can call me Hakyeon.”

///

Ached back and the sour after taste in his mouth woke him up to the place he was so familiar for the past months- White ceiling, white chair, white table, white flowers in a white vase and the white sheet.

“Is that you, Taekwoon?”

30 years old Taekwoon turned around to see a figure in a white silky robe walked to him in short steps. He was shocked at first but he knew someday, this time would come for him.

“Yes. It’s me.” He answered in hoarse voice.

The man in robe beamed sadly and he placed one of his hands on top of Taekwoon’s shoulder, but Taekwoon not felt any weight there.

“He will never awake.” The man whispered in a soothing voice near his ear and the smell of the familiar vanilla scent was getting stronger. Tears were running down on his cheeks, as he was trying all his might to fight the truth.

Taekwoon cried shamelessly, like he was alone and there were definitely no other people except the lifeless body on the bed and himself. “I love him.”

“He loves you too.” That man spoke in a confident tone, too confident to get wrong. Taekwoon looked at the person on the bed, sleeping peacefully and turned to see the unexplainable expression on the similar man but this one was in robe and had this kind of halo behind him.

“Who are you exactly?”

That man did not say anything. He just smiled and softly caressed Taekwoon’s wet cheeks. “I don’t know. What I know is my job- to protect and always keeping you save.”

He was stuttered when he tried to hold back his tears. “And you’ll always by my side?”

“Always.” He answered simple, brought a hopeful smile on Taekwoon’s face. Taekwoon carefully reached for the other’s hand and tighten the grip. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes tightly.

"I trust you, Hakyeon."

///

Cha Hakyeon 1990-2015

Jung Taekwoon 1990-2015

“No matter how many times you die and reincarnate, your soul mate is still the same.”

A/N: I'm sorry