I meant to post this over the weekend... But I got distracted

This is for: Kitty-elf (Hope it meets your expectations!)

KIM HEECHUL: User Guide and Manual

CONGRATULATIONS! For whatever reason, you have just purchased your very own KIM HEECHUL unit. We hope this manual will help you in some way because you’re really going to need it.

Technical Specifications

Name: Kim Heechul. Will respond to “Heenim,” “Lady Hee,” “Cinderella,” “Big Space Star,” and “Lord Sass Master”

Age: 31

Place of Manufacture: Gangwon Do, South Korea

Height: 179cm

Length: You’d be surprised…

Your KIM HEECHUL unit comes with the following:

Two (2) stage outfits (random)

One (1) toy microphone

One (1) Lady Gaga costume (wig included)

One (1) How to Keep Kim Heechul from Making Out with You book

One (1) Heebum (cat) unit

Programming:

Your KIM HEECHUL comes with the following traits:

Marriage Counselor: The KIM HEECHUL unit is actually terrible with romantic relationships and so, theoretically, should be a terrible counselor, but we’ve found that his presence causes other couples to realize how lucky they are to have each other and decide to renew their romance. He’ll be the most successful counselor in town!

Interrogator: The police will love having your unit around to help them interrogate the suspects of their most recent murder case. Somehow, KIM HEECHUL can weasel anything out of anyone by making them so flustered they forget what words are. He’ll be raking in the cash!

Radio DJ: The KIM HEECHUL unit is very entertaining to listen to and will have fans avidly listening in on radio segments no matter what time slot he has.

Removal of your KIM HEECHUL from Packaging:

Your unit is a pain in the and generally doesn’t listen to what people tell him. However, we have discovered a few ways to wake him up that work the majority of the time. Hopefully they’ll work for you too.

1. Start playing any of the Frozen soundtrack (preferably a song Anna sings) and stand back because your unit will display uncharacteristic strength as he bursts out of the box to belt out his favorite songs. He’ll be distracted enough for you to reprogram him if necessary.

2.  Engage him in a battle of wits. Do not do this if you are sensitive because he will destroy you. But, he’ll be calm enough for you to reprogram as he basks in yet another victory.

3.  Bring in a HANGENG unit who will be able to drag KIM HEECHUL out of his box. Or, if you’re not a big fan of violence, bring in a HENRY LAU unit who will be able to coax the KIM HEECHUL unit out of his box. Either way, he’ll be docile enough for you to reprogram if you wish.

Reprogramming

After removing your KIM HEECHUL from his packaging, you may reprogram him to one of the following modes:

Fabulously Evil (default)

Disney Princess (default)

Snarky

Drunk (locked)

KIM HEECHUL’s first default mode is Fabulously Evil and will never completely go away. He will always be more fabulous than you. That’s just something you’ll have to get used to. As for the “evil” side, just be careful of his practical jokes. None of them will harm you physically, but they can get extremely annoying. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself waking up to a bucket of water in the face.

The second default mode, Disney Princess, is not always physically present. Most of the time, KIM HEECHUL will simply be daydreaming about his current favorite Princess. Sometimes, though, he will suddenly don a floofy dress and prance around your living room belting songs at the top of his lungs. We advise you not to interrupt him during these moments and just let them play out.

The KIM HEECHUL unit’s Snarky mode is easily unlocked. Simply engage him in a battle of wits and watch the magic happen. You’ll never know what hit you. We beg you, though, do NOT allow him to start such a battle with a CHO KYUHYUN or SHIM CHANGMIN unit. Please. Just don’t.

The Drunk mode’s name is slightly misleading as he most likely will not actually be (completely) drunk. But, he’ll certainly act like it. He will run around making out with anything that has legs. We apologize in advance if he ever ends up in this mode. There’s really no stopping him until it wears off.

Relationships with Other Units

While your unit is very talkative, he’s exactly the easiest unit to get along with. Nonetheless, there are a few brave units who can call him their friend:

HANGENG: These two are the best of friends and are practically inseparable. In fact, we’re fairly certain they’re soulmates.

LEE HONGKI: KIM HEECHUL absolutely loves putting this unit in awkward situations, but the two have remained friends anyway. If you’re looking for a romance, it’s definitely possible between these two.

PARK JUNGSU: These same-age friends are very close and always confide in each other their worries. While they see each other as best friends first and foremost, a romantic relationship can be achieved with a little prodding.

Cleaning

Your unit is quite obsessed with his appearance and will bathe frequently. If you want to bathe with him, he’ll be okay with that but may make snide remarks about how much prettier than you he is…

Feeding

Your unit isn’t terribly picky, but will let you know if you’re a terrible cook. If that’s the case, the simplest solution would be to get a HANGENG unit to cook for you.

Rest

Your unit will sleep when he feels like it and wake up when he feels like it. Don’t be surprised to find him awake at 4am watching some drama or Disney movie.

FAQ

Q: My unit has been on a date with a different woman every day this week! Is he a player?

A: Nah. He’s just really bad at dating. Seriously, don’t worry about it. Hopefully he’ll find that one special person who can actually put up with him for the rest of their life. Hopefully…

Q: Is my unit supposed to be curled up on my floor crying and hugging his Heebum cat unit and an Anna body pillow?

A: Yeah that’s pretty normal. He probably just watched a really sad drama or something. Give him a cookie and tell him it’s okay and he’ll calm down. Though he may ask to sleep in your bed that night. But that’s not a problem, is it?

Troubleshooting

Problem: My unit has replaced my entire wardrobe with clothes only he likes. I want my baggy pants and comfy T-shirts back!

Solution: Ah, yeah, sorry about that… He’s also pretty picky about fashion. You can tell him off and say he has no right to decide what you can or can’t wear, but he might explode. Try hiding your favorite clothes somewhere else and changing into them after he leaves for work.

End Notes

With tons of patience and a tolerance for extreme skinship, your unit will turn out to be a very loyal and entertaining friend. We wish you all the luck with him because you’re going to need it.

I had so much fun with this. I love Heechul so much. Although I'd probably end up punching him in the face if I actually met him...

Feel free to request anyone from any group, not just Super Junior~ I don't know everyone, but I'll try

Have a lovely day~ ^_^