“Will you marry me?”

Surprised, he looked up at the man hovering him, the coal orbs staring back at him full of love and care.

“W-what?” he managed to stutter out.

The older male just smiled, one of his hands gently caressing his cheek.

“Will you marry me?”

Jolting awake, Taemin had to blink several times to clear his vision. He sat up, looking around around him feeling lost for a moment. But when he found the bedroom empty and dark, he suddenly remembered where he was, a knot forming in his throat and tears gathering in his eyes. He felt so alone.

With a defeated sigh, he let himself fall back down on the bed and stared at the ceiling, his right hand going to rest on the almost imperceptible swell of his lower-stomach.

“I only have you now, don't I?” he whispered hoarsely as he slowly caressed the spot.

The idea of having a life growing inside of him still felt rather foreign to him, yet somewhere in his heart, he couldn't help but feel a deep attachment to his unborn child.

There was only him and his baby now and he knew he had to do everything in his power to keep it that way.

Sighing once again, he sat up, figuring he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. Slowly, he got up from the bed, left the bedroom and made his way to the kitchen.

As he poured himself a glass of water, he saw from the corner of his eye, the telephone's red light flashing to indicate the entry of a new voice-mail and a small frown appeared on his face. He hadn't heard the phone ringing and it was almost three in the morning. But what weirded him out even more was that no one was supposed to know this number.

Instantly an uneasy feeling crept up his throat, all kinds of scenarios popping in his mind and gluing him to his spot for a moment. But then realization hit him, these people wouldn't call, they'd simply appear at his doorstep.

Still, he couldn't settle the uneasiness in his heart. Putting his glass of water on the counter, he walked to the device, pressed a button and waited.

“Uhm... Hi Tae...” it was his brother's voice. “I know you might be wondering how I got this number... you know Jjong, there's nothing he can't find.”

A trembling breath left him as he let himself lean against the wall by the telephone. He didn't know whether to feel relieved it was just Kibum or worried he had been found so easily.

“I know you haven't left town...” the message went on. “I... I'm worried about you honey. We didn't part in the best of terms and... I'm sorry I was so harsh on you. I kinda freaked out when you told me you're... anyways. Call me back? Please? Just know you're not on your own, my door's always open for you. I love you Taeminnie.”

By the end of the voice-mail, Taemin had tears streaming down his cheeks and quiet sobs leaving his lips. Kibum was unbelievable. How could he still want anything to do with him after everything he'd said and done?

Still, Taemin wasn't really surprised, the elder had always been too kind for his own good and that was probably what had prevented them from drifting apart sooner.

But now, things were so different, so much more complicated... He couldn't just go to his brother and find shelter in his arms anymore. He had a life depending on him now and he surely didn't want to drag Kibum and his family into that mess.

Sniffling, he hastily wiped his tears away with the sleeves of his sweater and walked out of the kitchen, his steps guiding him back to the bedroom where he laid on the bed and pulled the covers over himself.

He refused to mope around any longer, it wouldn't get him anywhere.

*

Kibum smiled as his daughter ran over to him, her hair messy and Mr. Cookie, her favorite teddy-bear, trapped into her arms. He crouched down, ready to catch the three year-old into his arms when she was swooped up by her father, a surprised squeal living her lips.

“Good morning sunflower.” Jonghyun greeted the child before pecking her on the cheek.

“'morning appa.” she replied with a hearty laugh.

“That's not fair.” Kibum complained before taking the girl away from his husband. “She was coming to me first.”

Jonghyun just served him a cocky grin before planting a kiss on his lips and walking to the table where their breakfast was set.

Pouting slightly Kibum followed him and helped Chanmi sit on her high chair before giving her her baby bottle with hot chocolate.

“You know,” Jonghyun said, reaching out to poke at his daughter nose. “you'll have to quit this someday, you're getting old baby-girl.”

Kibum frowned at him and swatted his hand away. “Let her be will you? She'll be a baby as long as she wants to.”

Jonghyun just snorted at the statement before pouring himself a cup of coffee as Kibum took a seat by his side.

“So...” the elder spoke after a while over a mouthful of pancakes. “did you call him?”

The younger who was ready to scold his husband for talking with his mouth full, suddenly sighed and turned to Chanmi to wipe her chin with a napkin.

“I did... last night.” he replied.

Jonghyun rose an eyebrow. “And?”

Kibum looked back at him with a sad expression. “He didn't pick up... I left a voice-mail, asking for him to call back, but I doubt he will.”

The brunet pursed his lips, not sure of how to comfort his husband. He knew how much trouble Kibum had went through to keep his brother close to him despite the torn relationship Taemin had with their parents. It saddened him to see the blond's efforts go down the drain after so many years.

“Can–...” Kibum seemed conflicted as he looked up at him. “Can't you find his address for me? I mean you've got his number right? The address should come with it...”

His voice cracked slightly and Jonghyun felt his heart clench. He hated seeing the younger like this, but something inside of him thought it was better that way.

Somehow, he hoped Kibum would eventually give up and move on, though it was highly unlikely. Even if he adored Taemin – the raven head had always been a ball of sunshine that lightened everyone's mood –, his decisions and attitude had hurt more than one over the past years and he hated that the person suffering the most out of this had to be Kibum.

“Bummie... I can't... it's...” he sighed. “Have you considered that maybe he doesn't want to be found?”

Kibum looked at him with hurt and determination. “I let him go once, I won't let it happen again.”

Reaching out to hold onto the younger's hand, Jonghyun tried to find an argument that would get his husband to give up.

“Bum-”

“Please Jjong?” Kibum squeezed his hand. “He's pregnant and alone... I can't just let him go like this.”

Sighing in defeat the elder nodded.

“Fine, when I get to the office, I'll see what I can do. Just... promise me something?”

Kibum nodded eagerly.

“If he rejects you this time, you'll give it up.”

The blond's eyes widened in shock and he retrieved his hand as a frown deformed his features.

“I can't...”

“Yes you can,” Jonghyun retorted. “he's hurting you. He has for the past eight years, I hate seeing you like this. You've done so much for him and yet look where you guys are now... it's a one-sided relationship...”

Kibum swallowed in dry and got up, leaving the dining-room with hasty steps, Jonghyun looking at his retrieving back with a saddened look in his eyes.

“Where's umma going?” Chanmi then spoke, looking at her father with wide curious eyes.

The male smiled slightly at the child before getting up and walking to her.

“Are you done honey?”

She shook her head before pointing to a small bowl of chopped fruits on the table. Jonghyun chuckled before reaching for it and giving it to her.

“Eat then, appa will be back in a second.”

She just nodded and he walked out, looking for the blond, only to find him in the backyard terrace, looking out in the distance. Sighing for the umpteenth time, he approached the younger and hugged him from behind, resting his chin on the blond's right shoulder.

“I just want him to come back...” Kibum whispered, leaning against him. “I want things to be like before the accident...”

“I know...” Jonghyun replied. “but they won't Bummie, they just can't.”

“But I can still try to have my brother back.” the younger persisted. “I lost Seulgi, I won't lose him too.”

Breathing in deeply, Jonghyun closed his eyes in resignation.

“Alright. But it's the last time.”

Kibum let out a trembling breath. “Fine.”

*

The elevator's door slid open and Taemin made his way out with two grocery bags in his arms. As he walked along the hallway to his door, his steps came to a halt, when his eyes fell on a man standing by the door.

His heart instantly started to pace and his mind started running a mile per second before relief washed over him when the male turned around and he recognized his brother's face. Yet, that relief was short lived when realization hit him and an annoyed sigh left his lips. The elder just wouldn't give up.

“What are you doing here?” he asked as he approached the blond.

Kibum's face flashed hurt and Taemin instantly regretted his tone, yet he didn't try to repair his mistake, if he wanted the elder away, that was the best way he could do it.

“I-... We need to talk.”

“I've got nothing to tell you. You should go home and tell Jonghyun to stop nosing into my life.”

With that said, he reached out to tape the code pin on the door pad, but found himself struggling because of his load.

“Here, give me this.”

Without waiting for the younger to answer, Kibum took one of the paper bags from him.

“You shouldn't be carrying weight.”

“I'm fine, thanks.”

Once the door was open, Taemin took the bag from his brother's hands and walked inside, without so much as a glance at the elder. But Kibum wouldn't be discouraged by that much and he didn't hesitate on following the raven head inside the apartment, carefully closing the door behind him.

Taemin put the paper bags on the kitchen counter and started unloading them, conscious of Kibum's eyes following his every movement and yet unable to find anything to say that could push the elder away. Truth to be told, he didn't want his brother to leave or give up on him, that would only mean he was truly alone and that idea scared him to death.

He missed the peace of a real home, the security family provided and his brother was the only that could give him at least a little part of that; still he knew he wouldn't be finding that peace any time soon.

“Listen Taemin, I don't know what your life was like back in Seoul, but it doesn't have to be the same here.” Kibum said.

“You don't know what you're talking about.” the younger retorted.

“I probably don't.” the blond admitted. “But this is home, you don't have to hide away... Tae, we all miss you. Mom, she–”

“Doesn't give a damn about me.” Taemin said, sending his brother a hard gaze.

The last thing he wanted was for their parents to be brought on that conversation. He might not wish to part with Kibum, but their parents was another story: the farther he was from them, the better he was. But that was ironical given the fact he was back to living in the same city as them.

“Don't say that...” Kibum said with a sad tone of voice. “You can't keep pushing everyone away.”

Sighing, Taemin turned to face his brother and as much as it hurt he had to do just that.

“You don't understand, do you?” he asked. “I don't want you in my life. I just came to Daegu for a little while, just until I find something better. I don't want anything to do with you, mom or dad.”

“Taemin.” this time, it was a reproachful tone that came from his brother. “I know you feel guilty for Seulgi–”

“Don't you dare talk about her.”

“She was my sister too!” Kibum exclaimed.

“She's dead, let her rest in peace will you?”

Busying himself with his groceries, Taemin tried blinking his tears away, refusing to show his brother just how much that talk was affecting him. The memories this was awakening in him were far from pleasant and he had too much going on right now to deal with them.

“Why are you like this?” Kibum asked, his tone back to a much calmer one. “Why do you always hurt those around you? Don't you get it? People get tired. I am tired of that push and pull game. You'll end up alone if you keep this up.”

“Get out.”

“Taemin...”

“Get. The. . Out!”

Kibum felt rage swell in him. For the first time in a while he felt like yelling at his brother, showing him just how much anger he caused.

Jonghyun had been right, everything he'd done to keep the younger close was useless, he was the only one trying and he was tired of that one-sided relationship.

When their sister had passed away, Kibum had watched his brother drown in sorrow for the loss of his twin. He had watched their parents turn against the younger, blaming him for an accident he couldn't have prevented.

That was when he had decided he had to protect Taemin, keep him under his wing and make him understand he wasn't at fault. But then, the younger had started rebelling and pushing everyone away. He had lost count of how many times he had had to sneak out at night and drag the raven head from drunken parties he wasn't supposed to be in, or watch their parents being called in by the police because Taemin had gotten into trouble.

Still he had tried to understand, to put himself in the younger's shoes: he was hurt and felt guilty. He was just trying to dull his pain. But the years had went on and nothing changed, Taemin's relationship with their parents became a battlefield and he soon had taken his things, stolen some of their parents' money and fled without a word to anyone.

Kibum remembered just how much he had had to beg their parents not to call the police on the younger, promising he would find him and bring him back. But when he did, a year after, Taemin had refused to come, he had given him the money back – which, Kibum didn't even want to know how he had gotten – and outright told him to forget he even existed.

But he hadn't given up, he had tried, time after time to get the younger back on track, back into their family. When he had given birth to Chanmi, things seemed to have gotten a lot better, his brother would come to Daegu for her birthdays, spend some time with them and go back to Seoul. Some times, he even spent holidays with them and Kibum thought they were on the same page once again and that soon their family could be reunited.

And then Taemin had appeared at his house, asking if he could stay for some days, he hadn't given an explanation and Kibum had been too reticent to ask, until he found an ultrasound picture in the raven head's bedroom.

Everything seemed to go down the hill from then and there they were once again, fighting over stupid things.

But Kibum was too tired now, he figured Jonghyun was right, he had to give up.

“Once I leave, I'm never coming back.” he informed, hoping deep inside, that piece of information would help change Taemin's mind.

But the raven head just snorted humorlessly and Kibum felt his heart break.

“I'm not asking you to.”