As the pounding beat of History fades out and the lights dim, Sehun makes his way backstage for a short rest before having to draw his energy together for the Peter Pan performance. 

Leaving the darkened stage, Sehun grabs a towel to wipe the sweat out of his eyes. As he walks, Sehun glances at his bandmates. Their chests heaving and sweat drenching their foreheads, just like himself. He counts in his head but stops at 7 remembering something and strides past, seeking a moment to himself.

He meant to walk right past it and sit on the stool in the corner. But that bright red caught his eyes, just like it always did. Slowing down completely, Sehun idly stares at the jacket hanging on the rack, untouched with no wrinkles or creases at all. Looped around the coat hanger was a matching cap. Stretching out his hand, Sehun rubs the soft dyed leather between his fingers. He thinks he hears a light chuckle and a ‘Sehun-ah’ but obviously that’s all in his head because he’s not here. He’s not here. 

Letting go of the jacket Sehun goes deeper backstage, to where the back up dancers have a last minute practice. He passes two men wearing black jackets with white lettering. Sehun recognises them and briefly wonders why they aren’t on stage with him. Then he remembers, he’s not here. 

Feeling worse than before, Sehun drags himself back where he came from and quickly shrugs on a new outfit and fits his mic back in place. With a few touch-ups, Sehun gets back on stage to mouth the words to Peter Pan, remembering to smile and wave between each dance move.

------------------------------

Exhausted once again, Sehun makes his way backstage for a towel, some water and hopefully a short rest. Making his way to his corner stool Sehun realises that he didn’t see something. Getting back up, even though his legs groan in protest, Sehun heads back towards the stage as he feels like he would miss something special if he didn’t get there right now.

Sitting in the wings, Sehun is held captivated by that red jacket, velvet voice and alluring dance moves. The silky black hair that pokes under his cap makes Sehun want to twine his fingers through those strands, hold him close and never let go. He wonders why he never watched his performance before. It was amazing. Seeing him dance and sing had always been the remedy to the pain that he felt in his chest. For once he felt truly happy. But why was there a burning sensation behind his eyes? Why does Sehun feel like it would be the last time that he would ever be happy again? Schooling his outer appearance, Sehun makes sure that his inner emotions never make it to the surface. 

As the stage lights fades to black and the set lowers itself down, Sehun gets up to change outfits and adjust his mic before having to get back on stage again. This time his smiles are real and he makes the most out of every song, right up until he has to bid farewell to the crowd. 

------------------------------

“We’re so happy to be in Japan again! Japan EXO-Ls daisuki desu!!!!!”

Making his way backstage Sehun looks for a place to send a quick text message. Thinking that the back-up dancer’s room would be the most deserted Sehun hurries his steps. Passing by the racks of clothes a flash of red catches Sehun’s eye. Sparing it a quick glance Sehun sees the red leather jacket still packed neatly in its box, with the matching cap sitting on top of it. On the dresser beside the box was a note from the two back-up dancers that were no longer needed. Quickly flicking open the white card Sehun reads:

____________________________________________________________________

Thank you for the wonderful experience that you’ve provided us. Being able to dance with such prestigious idols has brought us great joy! 

We hope that EXO will continue on in the future successfully as 10.

____________________________________________________________________

Folding the note and placing it back where it came from, Sehun all but sprints down to the dancer’s room. Whipping out his phone Sehun taps out a quick message before running back to the main dressing room for yet another outfit change. Plastering on his fake smile Sehun steps onto the bright stage.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

             I miss you hyung.

                       Read at 9.30 pm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N THIS IS SO PLEASE KILL ME BEFORE I TOUCH A KEYBOARD EVER AGAIN.

I wrote this at 4:30am-5:45am which is why it’s so short and horrible. I tried to be angsty and stuff but it-just-ahhh blahhhh. I'm sorry about the weird spaces and lines. I just needed something to break up the times ^^

Thank you so much for reading this far! I love you all and please give me feedback in comments so that I can improve :) <3 <3 <3