Tee’s POV

September 1st, 2014

I first met him when I was sitting there. He was approaching his friends who sat far away from me. I didn’t know that he’s supposed to be the guy who would tutoring me about all of them. I did know his name, but it was the first time we met, when his friends told me that he’s ‘that guy’.

All of those things were new to me. University-life is a total different from high school-life. Here, things become harder than before. All things are done by yourself, you cannot rely on your friends, so individualism.

Too much two-faced here. Trust people? That’s a no-no. I’ve learned my lesson before, and trusting someone you just meet is a big NO for me. People still can destroy you even if you have known them for live. And you still want to give those new people your trust?

The complexity of your lesson increases. More than just one book to study just for one lesson.

You also have all those free times you want to get once you were a high-schooler. But hell, all of those free times are useless. You can’t even take a breath and relax for a while. You’ve got to study, study, and study. Once you stop, you get lost.

What a total different from high school-life, right? That’s why ‘that guy’ was existed to help me adapt with this new environment.

He is tall. He has such beautiful eyes that hypnotize me every time I look at ‘em. It’s like I fall into him every time I look at his eyes. And his smile is one of the best smile that God has ever created. Even the brightest star in the sky is nothing compared to his smile.

It hurt me when I saw him looking at me. It felt like I was about to explode from the electricity inside my body. His look had a big impact to me, to my body especially.

He’s Jo.

 

Jo’s POV

She’s the girl. Even though I saw here from a distance, she was still looking pretty, even prettier than her photo. The photo that made me choose her.

I still remember her careless attitude very time I greeted her. She even looked so scared when we first met.

I had no intention to scare her. All I wanted to do was to make her smile. Because when she smiled, my heart’s throbbing. Every time she smile, I know that life is beautiful.

She’s Tee.

 

Tee’s POV

December 18^th, 2014

I still can’t believe that something like this happened to me, to my life. I still can’t believe that we became official just a month ago. He came and make so many memories to remember. I still can feel his left hand lingered around my hips and his right hand linked to my right hand. I hugged him. We weren’t official that time, but I felt what I don’t feel when I’m with other guys. My heart just couldn’t stop skip a beat.

And few night later, when we were practicing, I was sitting there in the corner, I was almost fell asleep because boredom killed me. But then he came and take me away from the crowd. He took me for a walk, surrounding the football field. And he took me to the center, it was so dark and away from the crowd, the world was ours that time. We talked unnecessary things while looking up at the sky. I heard his irregular heartbeats when we hugged. And when he kissed my forehead, I felt that electric.

But last night, he said things that I don’t want to hear. His voice was shaking, but his words were clearly saying about us. I remember his tears ran down his face as now I’m thinking how will I through this life from now on. Cause I’m getting used to him.

I don’t know why is it getting harder for me to breathe. I’m alive but I feel like dying. No, I’m completely dying. I don’t think I still can feel.

Why do our differences have to make us separated? Why do people tell us what to do when it’s completely our lives? Why did you agree to them when you actually don’t want to? Why can’t you just say no to them? Why can’t you make ‘us’ as your priority? Is it only me making you as my priority? Why are you messing my life and also my heart, when you already know that it’s hard for me to open ‘em to someone. Why do you leave when I’m getting used to you, Jo, why?

As I walk down this path, tears run down my cheeks.

 

Jo’s POV

I know it’s over between us. But she has big impact to me. I feel like the stupidest guy because I can’t keep our relationship up. I let people broke and mess with our lives, my life, Tee’s life, and our relationship, after all those hard things we had through together.

But this is not what I want. How can loving someone becomes this hard? I’m not a kid anymore, yes I know. But I can’t bear them asking me whether have I broke up with her or no. People waited for me to end up my own life.

I remember on that night, when I told her the truth. When I don’t want to let her go, but I just can’t bear them asking me and talking bad about her in front of me. I remember when we both cried that night. That was the first time I showed someone how weak I was. I thought ending my relationship with her could stop them from bad-mouthing her. But I was wrong. Not being able to protect her is much worse than seeing them bad-mouthing her in front of me.

It’s been few weeks later after I said her those words that killed us both. Our relationship might be over but I just can’t get over her. She knows me well, too well that I just can’t understand how she understands me so well. We’ve known each other for less than 6 months, but I feel that comfort whenever, wherever I’m with her. I can’t even get this feeling when I was in a relationship for years with my ex.

She doesn’t judge me and she accepts me for who I am. She knows how I feel when I don’t say a word. I don’t have to pretend I’m okay in front of her when actually I’m not. There are times when we were still in the relationship, I treated her bad. But she didn’t even get mad at me. How lucky I was, wasn’t I?

I want her, but I just can’t have her.  We still love each other, but we can’t be together. No matter how much love we have, we can’t be together.

It takes three to make love, not two: you, your spouse, and God. Without God people only succeed in bringing out the worst in one another. Lovers who have nothing else to do but love each other soon find there is nothing else. Without a central loyalty life is unfinished.

There is an invisible wall between us that separates us and we can’t get through. It’s invisible. No matter how much effort we put in to break it down, we just can’t pass it. Unseen, but its presence is there. Binding and very strong.

 

Tee’s POV

That evening when we spent our time lazing around in my apartment. I remember we fought about unnecessary things. But then his words ended up our fight.

“Tee, promise me from now own you will do nice things.” He said.
“Why should I?” I asked.
“So heaven will open up its door for you.” He said.
“So what?” I asked him, don’t care with the nonsense he said.
“Because even if we can’t be together in this world, we have forever in heaven.”

***