Jackson has to think twice before he finally opens the door, sliding in so it shuts easily behind him. Mark doesn't notice, headphones barely containing the heavy bass that makes Jackson's heart hammer faster. He swallows, his lips, does a few cheek slaps before he's ready enough to approach. He hates getting called out for bluffing, but at least now it's a wall against the annoying pang of longing and fear. It only takes a few steps before he's hovering in front of Mark, who's conveniently staring hard at his laptop screen, one of his hands continuously moving from the the mouse to the keyboard. He startles when his gaze moves up, finally notices Jackson.

"Hey," he greets easily, pausing whatever he was doing to give Jackson his attention. The headphones fall to the mat with ease, but Jackson's eyes lock on them instantly. It was the last barrier between him and the conversation he's been going over in his head.

"Hey," Jackson says, but it comes out like a question, Mark's head giving the slightest tilt. "Uhh.."

"What?" Jackson shifts before dropping down to sit cross-legged, eyes finally meeting Mark's.

Jackson takes another moment to think of how he should word this so it isn't clingy or demanding. Jackson wants it to slide out with ease, casual and not desperate, not like it feels for him.

"It's just, we haven't hung out in a while, I wanted to see if you'd wanna hang." That's good, right? he thinks, leaning back, arms supporting him easily.

Mark shifts at the statement, slowly nodding. "Yeah, you've been busy lately."

"Well," Jackson gives a short laugh, tapping the floor, "it's not just that. You've kind of been hanging with Yugyeom a lot. I mean, he went to the States with you." Jackson immediately regrets that last sentence: he feels like he's accusing Mark, like it's only Mark's fault. Mark's expression changes minutely. The corners of his lips, which were originally turned up, turn back down, a frown setting in place.

"Well, you went back home, and he wanted to go-"

Jackson sits up properly, hands and head shaking. "Mark, no, don't, that came out wrong. I just," he sighs, running a hand through his hair, "I want to spend time together again. Like we did before." Mark stiffens, feeling ashamed because it's true, they haven't been as close lately as they used to be. Mark blames it on promotions, blames it on how they've been so busy with different things. He blames it on the schedules they make Jackson do, how he's never around anymore. Roommate was hard, though Mark would never admit that. He missed Jackson being rambunctious at one A.M., missed seeing him twenty-four-seven because at some point he had to go back. Back to Joon and Guk joo and Kang Joon, and Mark tries to act like it hasn't affected him, that it hasn't made him wonder if Jackson finds him boring now, but it has. This moment now, with Jackson watching him, body tense as he awaits a response, leaves those feelings sour in Mark's mouth, bubbling bitterly in his stomach.

"I'm sorry," Mark mumbles quietly in Cantonese, looking down at his hands. Jackson feels like he's kicked a puppy as he watches Mark bite his lip nervously.

"Don't be," Jackson says hurriedly, wanting to see Mark smile because this, this was heartbreaking. "We can fix this," he assures as he gets on his knees, shuffling into Mark's personal space. Mark is used to it, even relaxes as Jackson gets closer and closer.

"You're sad," Mark points out, worrying his lip again.

"So are you," Jackson pats Mark's knee reassuringly, "but it's no biggie. Really."

"Jackson," Mark starts, but Jackson knows that tone, knows that face better than he knows his own.

"Mark," he sighs, shoving Mark's stuff aside, for room, before he embraces him. Mark sniffs once before falling silent. Jackson likes to think he knows Mark like the back of his hand, but he doesn't and it weighs on him, like it's ready to make it's appearance when Jackson isn't ready. When Mark isn't ready. There’s so much they don’t know, may never know, but Jackson finds comfort in the way Mark tucks his face against his throat, curling around his side. His hand rests comfortably on Mark's hip, thumbing the skin revealed by Mark's shirt catching and rolling up in his shifting.

"You aren't usually one for snuggling," Jackson mumbles, looking down at Mark. Mark shrugs the best he can from his position but stays quiet. "Well, with me."

"What?" Jackson shakes his head, hand pulling up to ruffle Mark's hair fondly before he presses a kiss to his forehead. Mark laughs, squirming as Jackson continues peppering kisses across his face.

"Jackson!” Mark shoves the other’s face away, but his smile doesn’t falter, widens further as Jackson beams down at him.

“It’s not like you’re wearing makeup this time! It’s fine, enjoy the pampering.” Mark shakes his head, resting back down against Jackson’s chest. Jackson just grins, holding Mark closer. This is fine. This is better than fine, and Jackson’s relieved it comes almost natural. There's still tension in the air that neither want to address, but both know they have to. At some point, at least. For now, Jackson is content being Mark's pillow, solid and firm and there. Mark's content with the way Jackson still looks at him like he's the most amazing thing he's ever seen. He thinks they'll be okay, they always are, but something deep down makes Mark shift and wonder if this is more than just friendship, but for now friendship is, has to be, enough.