My time is up, I close my eyes to your remains,
The pieces of my memories are scattering,
One by one, I’m erasing u,
You and I, our love, now its gone,
it lost its light,
you and me, frozen in time,
I just hate to see us growing faint,
I cant stand it, I want to find u again,
You know I’m trying hard to get u back.

——————————————————

◈My time is up, I close my eyes to your remains◈

I realize everything has changed after you make a decision for us to have some time alone. That decision of yours cause this emptiness, slowly reaching to silent pain. I never thought small things that i usually did in the morning already start to make me miss you. I miss stretching my hands out and put it on the top of your body cause I know that makes you mad to have your sleep disturbed. I miss those annoyance sounds and movement you did after such disturbance. I miss those morning kiss and those sweet smiles of yours under those kisses, it’s so pure until I can’t get over it. Your scent on these pillows is getting faint, knowing its been a while since the last time you were here. Wake up with a hope you will be sleeping next to me but no. Most of the time, I just sit on the side of the bed, eyes went close automatically and your faint scent all over the room brings me those memories that I miss so much.

◈The pieces of my memories are scattering◈

Walking out of the room and pieces by pieces, bad or nice, all I can see is memories lingers on every side. I remember when we fight a lot, oh my god, I bet she doesn’t even know that some of the fights we had, I just randomly open a topic that doesn’t related to any fight because her reactions to those topic makes me insane sometimes. She could laugh or gets irritated inside. Haha. Wow, now I’m laughing alone. The first fight we had, I remember she tried to calm the fight down by giving me various kind of cheese. That girl sure know how to make this guy felt better. now I rather have those fights than standing in this house alone and time passing by with such memories.

Scattered, is that how should I describe this feeling?

◈One by one, I’m erasing you◈

Hanging out my best friends is one of the way where I could might can do to erase u from my mind. I didn’t want to but all the guys said to let u go and move on. “Move on”, hah, it used to be easy but why it is so complicated when it comes to you? Drinks with the guys, sure it can make me forget you for the whole night but waking up on the next morning with hangover is the worst day ever, or even worse, standing in front of your house on the same night, cry so badly with alcohol scent sticks on my clothes but I know you are working at that time as the lights in your house hasn’t turn on. Can I just erase you from my mind? One by one, what can I do to erase u?

◈You and I, our love, now its gone,
it lost its light◈

Day by day has pass by, seeing our love sailing away, probably will never come back. I can see its gone, but how can I still searching for hope that we still can be together? I miss u. I really miss u. Hoping that we might accidentally meet up, I go to our usual place to stay. Seeing only few people walking around, I saw a bench, where we always sits on. Hm, now I’m sitting here alone, gosh why am i so pathetic now?

◈You and me, frozen in time◈

Suddenly I can hear footsteps walking towards me and it stops. I won’t care a less about it but a voice says my name. That make me turn around to look at that person who’s standing quite distance from the bench. What I see right now shock me and she did too as well as she gets a good look of me.

"Youngji.. What are you doing here?"

◈I just hate to see us growing faint◈

"Jackson.. Nothing. I just want to spend some times here, enjoying this coffee and think."

I can’t think of anything except offer her a seat next to me. I thought she would refuse it and left but instead she gave a weak smile and sit next to me. Now she’s sitting next to me, things get awkward as we didnt talk at all. But I’m a man, so start talking, Jackson.

"How are you now?"

"Hah?"

Youngji was startled cause I break the silence after those few awkward minutes. But she just nods and say she’s fine. Then there, silence is all I can hear. I almost give up cause she seems cant say anything until she ask how am I. There’s nothing I can say than..

"Okay I guess, but things gets lonely lately. i don’t know if you are okay to hear this from me, but I really miss you."

I can’t look at her face as I say that. I just look down and she just give me a sigh.

"Well that’s funny, Jackson."

I look at her face when she says that and our eyes contacted.

"You want to know something, Jackson? I miss you too, to be honest, a lot."

That is the most beautiful words i hear after these painful days. The street lights aren’t too bright but I can see she tried to hold in her tears.

◈I can’t stand it, I want to find you again,
you know I’m trying hard to get you back◈

"Youngji"

Tears already start forming in my eyes as Youngji’s tears starts to fall through her red cheeks. But she couldn’t look to my eyes, that even make my heart breaks. It just hurt to be in this kind of situation, I don’t know what else to say cause every words I wanted to say before stays on the tip of my tongue. A hug. A hug is all the things I can do.

I know Youngji wasn’t expecting a hug, especially from me. I don’t expect for anything either but Youngji’s tears flowing even harder till and she put her arms around my body.

It felt nice, it seriously does. I want to have this kind of warm feeling everyday, and not having Youngji next to me to celebrate Christmas, or meet her parents again, I don’t want to face that. I need to gather up all my courage up. I finally release her from the hug and look at her eyes while holding her both hands.

"Youngji, this is me gather all my courage to ask you. its okay to say no but i hope u will say what u want from your heart, not your mind. Heo Youngji, start from this day, start on this moment, do you willingly want to be my girlfriend again?"

Youngji didn’t give any reaction for a few second that makes it hard to guess her answer. but then she smiles, her beautiful smile, the same exact smile when she first time meet my parents and introduce herself. so pure and nothing could make my life better when she say yes and immediately hug me.

Heo Youngji, I hope we will be together until the death apart us cause I don’t want another person in my life than you.