Flashback

“I’m sorry. But I want to end our relationship…”

I spat the coffee I was drinking as those words sink in.

“Ya! What are you saying?!” It was the only thing that I could utter. I didn’t mean to sound uncaring but my brain couldn’t function properly at the moment.

“I’m saying, I want us to break up.” She sighed and I can see the tears forming in her beautiful orbs.

“Don’t you love me anymore?” I’m fighting with every fiber of my body to stop my eyes from becoming a waterfall. “Why are you doing this?”

“Ha. Funny you ask that. I may not say it often but I always make you feel loved, baby. I love you so much it hurts.” She answered sincerely before continuing, “But I feel like it’s all going to waste. I don’t even know if you feel the same.”

She was looking at the café floor as she poured all the pain I’ve caused her. Every little thing that she was keeping all this time. I’m such a bad girlfriend. All I could do was watch her as my body was immobilized by the situation.

She looked up and those blood shut eyes pulled the last string that kept my eyes from flowing. I was expressionless but the tears wouldn’t stop falling. I clenched my hands so hard that my knuckles started turning white.

“Oh yeah, remember our 100^th day anniversary? You just thought it was an ordinary date at the movies. Instead I planned a special dinner at my father’s restaurant but you wouldn’t know that, why? Cause you cancelled the last minute saying you were sick. I was worried about you but you told me that it’s contagious that’s why you didn’t want me to take care of you that night.”

I was young and foolish. I started flirting with her because of a bet that my dumb friends made and I was dumber to agree. Until she asked me to be her girlfriend and I said yes nonchalantly (at that time). I admit that I took her for granted but I had no idea that I would love this girl in front of me. I had no idea that this tanned beauty would make me fall head over heels for her.

 “I thought you were sweet thinking of me that time cause you don’t want me sick. You had no idea how concerned I was that I couldn’t sleep at all. I kept on texting you the whole night but I didn’t get a reply from you. I just thought you’re already asleep. So I let it be.”

The way she was telling this was unbearable for me to witness. She was catching her breathe because of the intense crying and still I kept my ground and didn’t comfort her. I was so stupid.

“Until I found out that you went to Taecyeon’s party instead…” She continued

I got shocked that she knew. The façade I had was now broken down. I had a hand in my mouth to prevent myself from sobbing loudly.

“You knew?” I asked as I calmed down a bit.

“Yes, babe. Taeyeon saw you there getting wasted and having fun with strangers. She asked me if my plan was postponed cause would you believe that she helped me set up that dinner for a whole week? Haha. Funny.” I didn’t know that a laugh could be this sad.

“I’m sorry…” I said with all my might. I meant it.

“It’s okay babe. It’s in the past. This is the present and the future is not looking so good.”

“I… I…”

"I just can take the pain anymore, babe. But I will be fine." She reached out from my hand from across the table and kissed it with closed eyes.

Silence. No words came. No sound was heard aside from our sniffing due to our clogged noses. After minutes of nothingness, she stood up. Looking lovingly at me uttering, “I love you, Jessica Jung. Goodbye.”

As the café door ringed indicating that it closed after a leaving client, that was the only time my mouth remembered how to speak.

“Don’t leave me please…”

My vision got blurry due to the salty liquids blocking them. I neglected her. I hurt her and I just let her walk away without telling her how much I am deeply in love with her. I didn't know that it would be the biggest regret of my life. 

“I love you too, Yuri-yah…”