"Milyn, he isn't real. This "boyfriend" of yours is just a side affect of your disorder we talked about-"

"We don't talk about it Margaret you just like to tell it to me"

"WE talked about it plenty time before-"

"You just don't understand me anymore Margaret everything that I do is just another side effect"

"Shut the up!!!" Food from the breakfast plate covered my face and hair "We talked about this plenty times before!! Your little boyfriend doesn't exist Milyn, he's an imagination. A manifestation of the fact that you have no social life, barely any friends and no boyfriend. But instead of you trying to listen to me so I can fix you, you just go against the grain."

"How can you tell me who is and isn't real!!"

"Because I'm not the one with the mental disorder Milyn!!"

"So I'm suppose to assume everything is fake until you tell me I can believe. I'm not allowed to feel any emotions until you give me the green light"

"I'm you're mother. You my child. My sick child. So yes"

There was a painful silence between us. I stared hard at the woman who used to be my mother. I could tell she was purposely avoiding the food she threw on me and stared deep into my eyes; nowhere else. There was no remorse in her eyes, no guilt for how she was treating me. And I hated her for it. I hated her for making me this way and then treating me like a child who disobeys simple instructions and not her child trapped in a body with bugs.

"I know he's real"

"Then why haven't i ever met him"

"I already told you he has social anxiety and doesn't really like meeting people!!"

"Of course" she moved away from
The stove picking up the plate she threw at me. She paused at a kneeling stance in front of me, her voice was a cold whisper. "I think it's time for you to pay the doctor another visit, I think we need to take the final steps to fix you.

"I'm not going back that place"

"You're unstable you don't have that choice"

"NO!!"

"I don't care what you say you're going so clean yourself up"

"I hate you!! You're the worst thing that ever happened to me and IM NOT ING GOING!!!!" I jumped up from the table running full speed out of the door and toward the beachside. I ran with all the energy I had left in my soul. All the hope I had left in my heart. I reached the beachside just in time to see J hope walking in circles, staring at his feet. I walked up to him the trouble in my heart fading with each step I moved closer to him. He looked up at me a smile failing to appear. He seemed a little put off by my appearance.

"Don't ask. Me and Margaret got into another argument. I think this may be the worst we ever had. She's trying to send me back to the hospital but I'm not going. I wanna stay here with you. You think we can run away. Run away and start our own underground safety housing for runaways with mental issues. It'll be hard but we will make it work, and then we will pass it down to someone we trust: runaway and get married and be cray cray till The end. No meds and no doctors.

He whispered something to his feet then continued walking in circles. I walked closer to him so that I could hear him better. I knew something was wrong because J Hope only whispered when his mind was in trouble.

"What's that" I grabbed his shoulders as he pushed threw, pushing me back and sending us both into a repetitive cycle of circles. "Talk to me!!!" I shook his shoulders to snap him out of it "you can't blank out on me Hope"

With a sudden swift movement, he grabbed my face with both hands, leaning forward into my space.
"You're not real" his fingers dug deeper sending waves of pain throughout my face "Why didn't you tell me you weren't real?!?! How could you love me, be with me and make me fall in love with you all the while knowing you would break this to me ?!!" His voice cracked with a tinge of pain buried deep down inside but one look into his eyes all I could see was anger. Confused, deranged anger.

"What do you mean I'm not real?" He can't be listening to others who can't understand what we have. My heart pumped unstable heartbeats, as if it would malfunction and break down any second now "Please don't tell me you're letting what my mother says get to you. She doesn't- she doesn't know anything she's just stuck up and tired."

"It's not you're mother bunny" I hate hearing someone who is always happy and always hopeful in such a pathetic state. My whole world was in slow motion. The birds above me, the wind around me, the laughter of those who are normal. J Hope moved away from me in a half frozen state. It took me a couple more seconds to notice he was slowly backing away from me.

"Then who is it?" I moved closer to his frantic state, I couldn't let what I felt was gonna happen, happen.

"My mom sent me to the island for an evaluation. She told my doctors about you and they concluded you weren't real."

"Just tell them-"

"That's not all.....they then spent the next three hours of intense "therapy" trying to convince me and I fought hard. I fought because I love you and I never felt this way about anything in the world. But......then it hit me. I never felt anything like this in the world, so it would make sense that my mind would create something to take away the pain of being lonely. Milyn.....you're just a present from my mind. You don't exist, and the best way for me to not experience another relapse I think it's best if you never find me ever again."

"Noooo!!! Hope you can't do this, im real I promise you I'm real. We're real. Don't let them do this us, they know we aren't exactly sane and they try to make decisions based off of what they think reality is. But we're the ones that really know. You can't leave me, don't leave me like this." He moved faster away from me, tears streaming from his swollen eyes and down his red puffy face.

"Everything about you is exactly what I want in a girl. Your life mirrors mine and we even have similar lifestyles. You're a figment of my imagination M. Goodbye" he started to run off into the direction of his home. I couldn't let him run away from me, if he did I was adamant that I would never see him ever again. I ran after him screaming to the top of my lungs.

"Noooooo!!! Hope don't leave me!!! Hoooppppeeee!! HOOOOPPPEE!!!" My screams were piercing yells from a broken hearted siren, attempting to lure a seaman to the bottom ocean with her, to quench her lonely state "Please!! Come back don't go!!! I can't lose you" tears were clouding my vision, my lungs were burning from a lack of adaquet air, but no matter how hard I tried, Hope was too fast for me. I couldn't catch up and before I knew it the love of my life was out of sight.

I continued running hoping to eventually catch up until I tripped off of something sticking from
out of the ground. Landing directly on my face. I laid there in fetal position crying, crying like someone died. I felt like I just witnessed a murder.
"Why?" I whimpered to myself with tears

The walk back home was painful and took the last bit of energy out of me. I never felt so alone in my life and with every step I began to loathe my mother more and more. She started this whole witch hunt because she's miserable and cold hearted. I'll never forgive her. I entered the house like a drunkard knocking over pieces of furniture that was ill fated in my path. Heading to the bathroom to clean up my face, I walked passed the living room where medusa herself sat waiting for me.

"Oh there you are Milyn, I was afraid you'd be out too late and inconvenience the guests"

"What guests" I followed her voice until I was in the living room. Three guys dressed in all white. I knew all too well why this congregation was here. With a sudden jolt of energy unearthed from a mystery place in my soul I bolted for the door. Unbenounced to me I didn't know there was a fourth guy in white hiding close by and with a mighty clothespin to the throat I was down and out gasping for air on the carpet floor. The guy, seeing me in such a painful and pathetic state, gave a look of guilt to my mother.

"Ah she'll be just fine. She's not near death and at least now we will be able to easily get her where she needs to be" I was hoisted up to my feet where I was forcibly escorted toward the windowless white van. Seeing the van once again brought back flashbacks of being strapped to a table for electroshock therapy, or long painful days alone in a one window padded cell. At those thoughts I began to scream and fight again to no avail faced against the thick muscles holding me down. It wasn't long before I was in the van, the doors closing as the last picture I see, my mother staring emotionless at me, was turned into black.

"M'am!!! We need to get started with the procedures. Marilyn, please call for backup we need to subdue her for the operation ASAP"

"HELLLP!!! HELP ME PLEASE!! DONT LET THEM DO THIS TO ME!" I fought against the three slim
Nurses as they "attempted" to medicate me so they can change me into hospital uniform for the doctor. I ran in circles, throwing equipment and punches whenever they got too close to me. "AAAGGHHHHHH!!!! Leave me alone, I am normal! Stop trying to make me insane!!!"

I was able to hold them off long enough to slip out of the door. My run of freedom was cut short as I was facing another guy in white, standing in a football players stance at the end of the hallway. We sized one another up before I charged at him. I would be reunited with J Hope even if I died in the process. I was able to slip by his feet but he grabbed me by my hair sending me to the ground. I kicked and scratched at him trying to free myself. The nurses from the room appeared again as they began to strip me in the hallway and then slipped a gown on me. I fought more until I felt the piercing sting of a syringe in my back, and I continued to fight. I fought until my body slipped into a temporary paralysis, courtesy of the medicine.

I was already strapped up and awaiting the doctor before the medecine wore off. It was no use at the point, the straps of the cold metal table were pulled heavily over my arms, legs and neck.

The pale skinned man with the grey hair walked into the room, without a clipboard this time. He walked over to me leaning in until his dark eyes were mere inches from my face.
"Now how are we ever going to believe that you're sane when you act like this?"

I could smell the judgmental coffee on his breath. He never sees anyone as a work in progress, we are all forever marked as insane in his eyes and he will do anything to keep it that way.

"How am I ever going to prove that I am sane when you constantly treat me like I'm insane?"

He gave a slight chuckle. "Milyn, after starting an altercation with your mom, you went running to meet your "boyfriend" the one no one has ever met. You returned with bruised and beaten and we won't talk about how you were barefoot the entire time. If I could conclude anything I would say you had another psychotic breakdown, where you ran away from home and proceeded to beat yourself"

I ignored everything from the obvious lie my mom told to the assumption he gave. I felt now was the time to put a plan in action. A plan that would end with me meeting hope again and convincing him that I was real. I'll talk to his mother, I know they suffer from social anxiety but it's something that has to be done. Step one in my plan, go with the flow.
"So how many volts are you gonna give me this time?"

"0. We decided the electro shock therapy isn't enough for you. You're mom suggested quite a rare procedure as a last hope. You will be informed soon enough." And he was gone.

After several minutes alone a few hesitant nurses entered the room
Placing down unknown medical tools next to me. One nurse took a cotton swab and wiped it across my right eye, needles of pain shot across my eye.

"Argh! What did you do?!?!"

"Just keep blinking and it'll go away." The nurse calmly replied.
The doctor entered as they prepped him for whatever they were gonna do. Fear was in my mind as I didn't know what was going on and the new mysterious atmosphere was making me highly uncomfortable. A last strap was placed across my forehead as the doctor picked up a tool and put it in my eyesight. It was an ice pick.

"The patients eyes has dilated from fear at about a 20% rate, note that it's a fairly normal reaction" he picked up a hammer and moved toward my right eye.

"Why?? Why are you doing this?!?! Stop!!" I tried closing my eyes but the strap on my head was pulling my eyes open.

"Patient is sweating profusely. She is also crying. I can smell the sweat emitting from her body" the doctor yelled more side notes at the nurses. He placed the ice pick at the vase of my year duct before slowly pushing it into my skull.

"Dad!! Daddy please help me!! You promised you'd be here for me. Please come and take me with you. Please help me!! J hope!! Hope!! Come save---arrgghhh!!!!! Nooo!! NOO! Noooooooo!!"

"Note that patient is clawing at the leather straps and her nails have begun to peel and her fingers are bleeding. She seems to be having delusions about her dead father, and the imaginary boyfriend. Such delusions will be no more soon" he raised the hammer before being it down on the ice pick.

All that is now left is shattered.
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