Upon realizing that my alarm has gone off way before god knows when, I swiftly ran to the the bathroom to prepare myself a bath. Oh god, I woke up late as if I just had the last sleep I'll ever gonna get. 

"This is a tremendous mistake. Oh god. I shouldn't have slept late." I muttered to myself as I went under the steaming hot water. After a couple of minutes of trying so hard not to burn myself, I finished taking a bath and hurriedly went on to my dressing room to wear  some fitting clothes. After 10 minutes of dressing myself up, I found myself running towards the elevator and not forgetting to lock up my flat. 

When I arrived at the Salon, The stylist offered me a seat and she started my make-over. After all, this event only happens once in a person's life and I need to be beautiful. Even just for this day. Later on, when I was about to wear my gown, Someone grabbed my wrist hard enough to make me stumble a little.

"Hey, why the hell are you late? especially on a day like this? god! get your straight." Heechul scolded me.  Wait, what? When the hell did Heechul even got here?

"I'm sorry, okay?! don't stress me out on a day like this Heechul oppa, god, and answer your phone.." Heechul rolled his eyes on me and answered his phone that has been ringing for a while now.

So this is really it, huh? Sungmin and - 

"Yah~ Go ahead and change. We're running out of time!" Heechul pushed me to the dressing room and threw the gown to me. I hurriedly catch it before it touches the ground.

Saturday afternoon, huh. I should be painting today or even performing pottery but right now, I'm wearing a very lovely white gown that is so gorgeous for a being like me. I looked at myself in the mirror and the first thing I noticed is a girl, completely different from what I am, looking straight back at me. It took me a couple of minutes to make me realize that it's just myself - too covered and hidden. I can't believe this is happening. Oh god. I feel like I'm going to be sick. I heard  loud knocks from the door and that's the signal I'm taking too long inside. 

"I'm sorry! I'll go outside in a bit!" I yelled. I fixed my gown, hair, and make up a little bit and I went outside. For the first time ever, the members became quiet and never spoken a word. They were all just staring as if I was dead and resurrected once again. Only Eunhyuk got the guts to tell me something. 

"You look awful." Shut up, Eunhyuk. I just rolled my eyes and smiled at him. I'm lucky to be surrounded by gentlemen though sometimes, They're much of a dork but I love them still.

We went into the car and off we go to the wedding place. This car's one hell of a huge car. When we arrived at the wedding place, All I see are photographers and celebrities. I'm not kind of used to this environment at all but thank god, I managed to do well. Thanks Key for teaching me how to be a diva sometimes. I see its value now. 

As I enter the church, I see Sungmin standing there wearing his tuxedo at the end of the aisle. He's smiling in awe and looking as if he's the most happiest person in the world right now. 
 

 
I hurriedly went to my seat and decided not to greet him. This is too much to handle. I don't feel good at all.
 

Nothing will ever replace the feelings of seeing the one you love being married not to you.

I wish it's me getting married to Sungmin. I wish it's me that Sungmin loves. I wish that Sungmin wants to be with me but I guess I wasn't good enough for him. I guess I don't deserve him as that. I guess I'll just remain as a best friend forever. I hate how my heart chose him and his didn't choose mine. Tears are forming when I saw Sa Eun walking at the aisle, looking gorgeous as ever with that killer smile that made Sungmin's heart swoon and flutter and  I -  I looked away to stop myself from crying. I am not like her and will never be. Thinking of this makes me feel something painful forming in my throat. I want to scream or punch something but I just can't because it's his wedding and I don't want to destroy it. My heart has been destroyed and I don't want his day to be like mine. I want him to be happy but I don't know if I'll ever be happy once again.
 
As they were reading their vows, Tears started rolling on my face. I was going to get my handkerchief but Siwon's offering one. I accept it and wiped my tears away and forced myself to smile.
 

"I'm so happy for them. Did you know that I dreamed of this, Siwon?" I forced myself to smile realistically enough. I dreamed of this, except the girl is not Sa Eun but instead it's me. Good thing Siwon didn't ask anymore because if he did, I don't know anymore. 
 
and then Sungmin and Sa Eun said the words.
 
"Yes, I do"
 
and in that moment, I swear, my heart broke.