I used to spend my time playing games, do sports and not minding about school. Other people called it lazy. Well, what am I supposed to do? Study for twenty four hours a day, seven days a week? When will we be able to enjoy life by then? As a result, my grades dropped. I can only maintain my marks within the average. Looking at my results, my parents were pissed and decided to transfer me to another school the next year, saying that my friends were bad influences to me. Disagreeing with that decision, I tried to protest them. I lost. Days gone by and the new year started to get nearer and nearer. Conscious about the fact that I would be in a new school, I was terrified that I cried for some nights. 
 

As it was the first day of school, I lazily wore my new uniform. Even the uniform looked strict. But as soon as I stepped in the school, it was opposite to my expectations. Which was a good thing as I realised the school is normal despite the fact that it is the prestigious school. Days after days, I still feel like it was a dream, having to transfer to another school. It made me realise that my crazy life was over. To be honest, it still does feel like a dream. Unexpectedly, a memorable dream.
There was one subject I took, Geography, where only I was the girl from my class and the other girls were from another class. I am not as close to boys as I used to be, so I was lonely every Geography class. Sitting alone during that class made me more into studies. No distractions. No more fooling around with my classmates. Transferring to this prestigious school made me uncover my hidden knowledge that even I did not know. 
 

Geography class. That was where i noticed him. Oh Se Hun. The guy whom I found attracted to. Not because of his looks. Or maybe it was at first. But then, his ridiculous jokes and hearty laughters made me even more into him. I think that was when I started to have a crush on him. Starting that moment, I felt nervous about entering Geography class, thinking whether or not he noticed me. What would he think of me? What was my first impression to him? Starting that moment, I awaited for Geography lesson to start. There was the only place I could see him up close, as we were from different classes. I anticipated Geography lessons since then. Unexpectedly, I could still manage my focus to the actual lesson rather than just using the lesson to drool over him. (I don't actually drool over him.)
 

The next year, we were fated to be in one class. When the information of our classmates were told, I was.. happy, I guess. I managed to hide my excitement from my newly found friends. Weeks after, a friend of mine confessed to me and my other friends that she has a crush on a guy in our class. She told us that she liked Se Hun as well. With her noticeable affection and reactions on watching him, it was not surprising at all. I could not tell her that I had a crush on the same guy as well. Every time she talked about him, what he did, I felt a 'pang' in my heart. Why am i being jealous when he was not even mine to begin with? Few moments after, I began to get used to the feeling. Every time we bumped into him, passing by him, she began to tense. I was too, but more unnoticeable. My friend did ask if I like someone. Several times. And my answers were always the same. “No.” I lied, I knew that. It was a white lie. I think. I, then, earned a nickname 'Ice Princess'. If only she knew the truth. To be honest, I was jealous. Of her. Why? Because she has the guts to confess her having a crush on someone to us. I don't. Due to my last confessions to my friends in my previous school, that got spread to the guy I had a crush on. It was embarrassing for me. Everyone in class soon knew and began to tease me. I followed with their flow on getting teased at. It was fun yet still embarrassing.  Since then, I never wanted to tell my friends, even the close ones. Words do travel fast. 
 

The continuous year, which is this year, we had the same classmates. And this is our last year of high school. The moment when I actually wrote this story, my high school life is officially over, and I am now unemployed as I am still sixteen years old and unqualified to officially have a job yet. Back to the story; this year, I gathered up my confidence and started telling my friends about this crush of mine. I began telling one of my friends from my previous school. She teased me at first. But later, she began to back me up on my unrequited love life. Since then, I told her every thoughts I had of Se Hun. I texted her every time I had a good coincidental chance to be close to him, every single time I had a moment to him. For the first time in few years, I felt a little girly. When in actual, I am not the girly type of girl. 
 

The next person I told about this little crush of mine is a close friend of mine, of course. We got close for just two and several years, due to our same level of intellectual as well as our common interests; K-Pop, K-Drama, and unknowingly our crush of the same guy. How can a guy like Oh Se Hun does not have admirers? Seriously. Unfortunately, he has a girlfriend. Yes. He is dating someone right now. right at this moment. I knew that fact already, even if no one told me. “How do I know this friend of mine has a crush on him?” You may ask. Now, let me tell you why. I once asked her of whom she has a crush on, when I planned to tell her mine. Her answer did not surprise me, her behavior is noticeable. How she looks at him, how she blushed when she was asked questions by him. She is the smartest in the class, along with me, myself. But I was bad at tutoring or explaining to someone. My mind went completely blank every time I was asked. I am not used to being the centre of attention. 
 

Now, what happens when two friends found out that they liked the same guy? Do they fight? I seriously don't know the common reaction. But with this friend of mine, we actually discussed about the guy only between us. Keeping it a secret to our other friends.
 

My school doesn't have prom. Instead, we have appreciation night. So we don't really need to have a date to come to the event. Few days after our final exams end, we held an appreciation night. My group of friends came, wearing their fabulous dresses. Our 'group' was not complete. But it was a night to remember. Crazy dances, performances by some of our juniors, the very last speech by our very own Deputy Principal, and lastly, the interesting 'dare' I got by my friend from the previous school. I was dared to take a picture with every one of my classmates who came, individually. In actual, the dare was to take a picture with Oh Se Hun, and the others was just for the cover. For the whole night, I was feeling a little giddy. Excited for the event, and nervous at the same time when thinking about the dare. Every time he passed by my friends and I, I looked over one of my friend whom happened to like him too, we were exchanging glances with secret telepathic messages. I asked her to go first, but she said no. I hesitated. At last, we couldn't take a picture with him, unfortunately. But I did take a picture with my other classmates. It was regretful. Even to my friend.
 

As the event ended, one by one, every seniors as well as the juniors who came to perform, went to their homes respectively. I had a sudden thought to tell my other friends about my crush. As our high school is officially over, I hope that I will get over this high school crush. So I told my other close friends about this crush. They were speechless. The common things they said were, “What?!”, “How come I never knew this?” and “Betrayer.” Well, at least I told them.. 
 

It was still weird for them but they got over it later, I think.
 

My crush on Oh Se Hun began to decrease as I began to see him lesser and lesser. But my friend and I still talked about him. We sometimes wonder what he is doing right now. Where will he continue his study. 

The purpose of me writing this story is to get over him. I was inspired by Jenny Han's novel 'To All the Boys I've Loved Before”. Instead of writing letters (which are not meant to be sent) to my crush(s), I write a story, of how I began to feel attracted to him, and how I am beginning to spill it all out and emptying my heart.