Red Sun

"Excellent job, Summer! As expected from you."

The young teacher smiled brightly as she handed the probably best essay of the class to the shy girl whose thick brown hair covered half of her face.

Summer looked up from her desk and gave the lady a forced thin smile before she took her paper, her eyes immediately noticing the big fat 'A+' on the upper right corner. 5000 words and four times more letters. No misspelling. No forgotten comma. No grammatical errors. No remarks or corrections written with red ink. A al piece of paper. 

Absolutely meaningless.

Yes, it didn't hold any meaning for Summer. It didn't because all these 'A's that she got for analysing Shakespearean texts or examining the bloodline of animals didn't get her anywhere. Certainly, they had led her to the top of her class but what was the use of standing on top of a lonely hill, a hill that had pretty much no connection to the real world at all? Summer's teachers always said that school's purpose was to prepare students for the 'real world out there'. Yet, in all honesty, wasn't school actually nothing but a wrong simulation of the 'evil world', a world in which there were no retests when you failed, a world that did not tell you what to do next, a cruel world that  threw you right into the hungry mess of judging people. Good marks - why were they so important in this society? After all, you couldn't go to your crush, show him your Romeo and Juliet report and make him fall in love with you, you couldn't help a sick person to get better just because you knew a few things about bacteria and no, solving an equation didn't make you rich either.

What was the use of this plain piece of paper that Summer was holding in her hands?

And more importantly, why was it something that her classmates envied and hated her for?

Summer heard the girls behind her whispering while packing her books and pencils. She felt the stares that were partly glares. She smelled the hot air that the room contained, the air that almost suffocated her on a daily basis. It was always like that whenever they received their test results. The teachers would praise her without knowing about the damage they caused, without knowing what would be said and thought about this 'excellent' student that did not want to be excellent at all. 

If having worse grades meant being normal and if being normal meant to have a life outside of school, then Summer wanted nothing more than to see a big fat 'D-' on her next essay's upper right corner. 

Being the top of the class did not mean being the top in everyone's heart. It wasn't like in the movies, where bright students were admired, praised and loved and were asked for help and were invited to partys before anyone else was invited. She stopped packing for a second and stared blankly at the table top, realizing something. Nineteen. She was nineteen years old and had never been to a party before. She had never tasted alcohol before. She had never kissed a boy before. She sighed.

It just seemed like her life lacked the same red colour that was missing on her papers.

" 'Excellent work! As expected from you' Blah, blah, blah! I cannot hear it anymore!"

"Just seeing her face makes me want to puke. Have you seen that nasty grin she has shown to Mrs. Esther? That ! I so wanted to rip that smile off her face in that moment!"

"I know right? Ms. Perfect is acting all quiet and innocent but she knows exactly what she is doing and enjoys everything!"

"Maybe she is ing around with the teachers in order to get good grades."

"Please, Fiona, even a permanant old-crock like Mr. Steve would get limp at the sight of her fat thighs and spotty skin!"

Fat thighs and a spotty skin, that's what she saw, too when she looked into the half-broken mirror of the school's restroom. 

The thing with pretty people was that they could be as dumb and ignorant, as they wanted, they were still loved by our society, loved like roses were loved even though they had thick thorns. The girls that had just left the restroom before Summer could finally step out of the cubicle were one of those people. Their mouths were foul, yes. But the bright red colour they shone with made up for it. Their eyes were judging, but their thick eyeliners masked the truth behind their glances and their long, straight and shiny hair were like curtains that covered their malicious thoughts. 

It didn't work the other way around. 

It didn't because Summer's chubby legs couldn't be replaced by her intelligence and her bad skin couldn't be covered with kindness or her strength to endure everything for the sake of her parents who worked day and night just to give her the opportunity to go to school and graduate one day.  It didn't work because nobody actually gave a .  To them, Summer would always be the ugly nerd, the outsider who went to school in the morning and went to sleep at night with no events in between, with no life in between. 

Was she pathetic? She knew she was. She knew she was the one who could make a change, who could stop drowning herself in self-pity and actually start saving herself for the sake of herself and her parents. She was the author of her life, but the funny thing was that out of all the essays she had ever written, this one was the only one that was far from being worth an 'A+'.

That day, however, she did not go home after school like she usually did, like the good girl that she was. She had waited until a group of students were done copying her homework, done flashing temporary smiles before she made her way out of the school building. The weather was particularly hot that day and the sun was shining brighter than usual. Summer decided to do what she always did when she overheard how her peers let out their angry thoughts about her: eating ice cream on the river bank and reading her favourite passages from her favourite novel. 

"A scoop of vanilla and mint with a lot of chocolate chips please.", she said to the man in the ice cream van. 

"That's 5$ in all, young lady."

"Eh? B-but I always pay 3, 50$ How come that -"

The old man tapped on the colourful price list hanging behind him on the wall. "Not anymore. We have raised prices. Command of boss."

Summer frowned and digged in her purse, hoping to find a few extra coins because she really wanted and needed that sundae to cheer her up right now. "I only have 3.50$.", she realized, pouting. 

The man shrugged indifferently, not understanding her immense pain. "Well, it's still enough for a plain scoop of vanilla.", he suggested. 

Summer sighed at her luck and was about to go for the offer when suddenly, a bare, tanned and toned arm stretched out next to her, handing a 10$ banknote to the ice cream-man. "It's alright. I will pay it. Oh, and prepare another one for me, too, will you?"

Summer gasped, turning around, attempting to stop the stranger with the kind voice from what he was doing, but she failed. She failed miserably once she saw his set of perly white teeth blinding her eyes. "S-sir, you don't need to - oh." 

He was not very tall, but definitely taller than her. Sun-kissed skin, blonde mohawk, thick eyebrows and below them, two adorable crescents that slowly became a pair of beautiful dark brown eyes. Summer felt heat rushing to her face and an ambivalent feeling of wanting to stare at him and wanting to look away because of how bright and warm this guy's smile was.  It could easily compete with the sun's powerful sunrays, that means if he was not the sun itself. 

Wait - the sun itself? What kind of thought was that?

Summer tried to get a grip on herself,  ignoring the incredibly strong aura of the generous stranger in front of her. Just as she was ready to retry talking to him, he cut her off though.

"Is there a problem, miss?", he said, obviously mocking the way she had addressed him a few seconds before.

"Y-yes.", she eventually answered, "I don't want you to pay for me. I - I mean thank you but there is no need, really."

"Hm, but your expression just now looked a lot like an 'I-need-ice-cream' - face. "

"I-it did? Really? Ah, I-I mean, no, no you must have mistaken, I was just ... surprised that's all!"

The handsome stranger looked at her with a boyish grin that soon turned into a hearty chuckle, a chuckle that made its way straight to Summer's veins, shaking her insides for a brief second.  Warm. It felt so warm. Warm was the perfect word to describe this man. 

She watched him grab one of the sundaes from the counter before he held it in front of her, smiling and signaling her to take it. "Come on, you looked really desperate for it. Let me do something good for you, okay?"

Summer thought about his words. First, she understood them the same way she heard them. So there was this friendly stranger who wanted to help her out with something small, who probably just had a nice day, unlike her, and wanted to spread his positive vibes to the world. What a beautiful thought. It was a beautiful thought until Summer started interpreting his words, extending them, analysing them as if she was analysing a Shakespearean text. She had reached her hand midway when her eyes fell on her hands, her chubby fingers. Chubby.

Fat. 

"Please, Fiona, even a permanant old-crock like Mr. Steve would get limp at the sight of her fat thighs and spotty skin!"

Immediately, her eyes became glassy and she took her hand back, only staring into the man's now puzzled eyes. 

"Is something wrong?", he asked, "Look, it's really - "

"I ... I don't need your pity!"

Those were her last words before she ran away, stupidly crying over something that probably was not even a reason to shed tears. Even after she had already turned her back on the ice cream van, she could still feel the stares of the other customers, she could see them shaking their head, could see them frowning and whispering 'what's wrong with her?' 

Yeah, what was wrong with her?

That was something that Summer had been trying to figure out for years. Why had she become like this, a whiny mess with no self-esteem, no pride, no dignity. Why had she turned into a lonely, ugly cocoon in her so-called best years while everyone else had become a beautiful butterfly with colourful wings to fly with? Why did she have this feeling that the whole world was against her, that everyone on this planet made fun of her? Why couldn't she trust anyone's good intentions? 

Why, why was she only cursed with the ability to receive papers with an 'A+' on them? 

Couldn't she have friends instead? Couldn't she have courage instead? Couldn't she have confidence instead? And what about beauty, couldn't she have beauty? Just a tiny piece of it? 

She had found a lonely bench to sit on. Summer in her breath, continously wiping tears from her eyes and looking up at the sky. She suddenly remembered God. 

Another thing that bothered her: her feelings of guilt towards the Lord. 

"Forgive me.", she begged the sky, "Forgive me for being so ungrateful. You have given me what many dreamy of in this world, you have given me health and .. and a family and two legs and two arms, and eyes that can see, ears that are able to hear the smallest sound but I ...", she stopped, nodding her head knowingly, "I just can't seem to be happy. I only see what I am lacking. And -"

"And that is your problem."

Summer froze. Did the sky just answer to her prayers? But that was impossible, wasn't it? She had heard of the wonders of God but, to actually experience it was - 

was a thought that she soon dismissed as soon as she felt that strong aura again, the powerful warmth that had sat down next to her on the bench. For how long? She didn't know. 

"Y-you? What are you doing here? When did you -"

"Isn't it obvious? I followed you."

"Why did you do that?"

"Well, making a girl cry by buying ice cream for her is not a common thing to happen, right?" There it was again, the hearty chuckle. "I wanted to know what exactly you meant with 'not needing my pity'." 

"I - "

"You don't need to tell me anmyore."

Summer sighed. "I am sorry. I ... I didn't mean to be so rude to you."

"It's alright.", the blonde man said and stretched his hand out. "I am Youngbae by the way."

She stared at his hand and was surprised by the softness of his palm. It made her feel ashamed of her own hand that was probably a bit sweaty from nervousness and embarassment. "Summer."

Youngbae chuckled. "Yeah, it's indeed summer. But what is your name?"

"That is my name actually. I am Summer."

"Wow, what a pretty name!"

"Y-you think so? Thank you."

"Of course it's pretty. I like it.", the man smiled. "So Summer, my words made you sad?"

"Actually, it wasn't your words. It was my stupid brain that interpreted your well-meant offer wrongly."

"Is it a habit?"

"Hm?"

"Do you always interpret people's words negatively?"

Summer looked down at her lap. "You could say so. I thought you were mocking me because I am ... well, plump."

Youngbae frowned. "Plump? Why would I think that you were fat?"

The girl groaned in embarassment, burrying her head in her palms. "Do I really have to explain that to you?" She caused the man next to her to observe her more closely, chuckling at her reaction. 

"Yes, you have to, because all I see is a cute girl with amazing hair right now." 

"A-amazing? My head looks like a huge bird-nest under construction."

He laughed. "The only thing that needs to be under construction is your way of thinking."

She felt him grasp a strand of her thick, brown and partly spiral hair, examining it with focused eyes. "It's so full and healthy. You will never have to worry about hair loss, I guess."

Actually, what was really amazing was the way he touched it. His fingers playing with the strands, his dark eyes looking at it as if it was something special, something worth to take a look at. Summer watched him, her face heating up again. Something about this man was making her feel so comfortable all of a sudden. He made her feel silly about things she had been convinced of all the time, it was ... indescribable. And she believed him. She believed in every word he uttered. She believed in them because she had never seen so much honesty in someone's eyes before. And it was unbelieveable that they belonged to a guy she had met minutes ago.

Was he even real?

"So you can actually look at me. Interesting.", Youngbae remarked, blinding Summer with his radiant smile again.

Immediately noticing that she had been staring at him, she turned her head away and bit her lip, cheeks coloring into a shade of crimson. "I-I am sorry. I am just not used to this."

"To what?"

"Having someone like you talking to me. It feels unreal."

The handsome stranger smiled, not averting his eyes from the shy girl for a second, silently killing Summer this way. He eyed her nevertheless, eyed her rebellious hair, her slightly round but baby-doll like face, her long eyelashes and the way she fluttered them when she was particularly nervous. Youngbae frowned. He hadn't heard Summer's story yet. Nevertheless, he came to understand what kind of person she was just by looking at her like he did in this moment. 

She reminded his old self.

"Summer."

"Y-Yes?"

"Look at me again."

"N-No.", she said nervously. What was he thinking!? Didn't he know that glancing at him was like gazing directly at the sun?

She couldn't see him rolling his eyes, but she definitely felt the way his soft and warm palms suddenly grasped her head in a gentle manner. Youngbae turned her face towards his and watched her fluttering her black eyelashes again. He met her light brown eyes with his dark ones and urged her to look at him. To really look at him.

"What do you see?", he asked, still holding her head.

Summer blinked. "I see ... you."

"And what makes me me?"

She wasn't sure what to answer.

"What makes me Youngbae?"

"Y...Your features, I guess. Your eyes, your nose, your ... mouth. These kind of features only exist once in this world. Though I have read that every person on this planet has -"

"Skip the details.", the handsome man said, smiling and releasing her face."I only exist once. And so do you."

"And what does this tell me?"

"It tells you that we are not as different as you think we are. Actually, all humans have something in common. You believe in God, right?"

"Yes.", Summer answered, looking up at the sky. Youngbae followed her gaze. 

"All humans have in common that God has created each of them uniquely. Though there might be people who seem to have it easier in their lives than others, none of us can call himself 'complete'. We all lack something concerning our outer appearance or a certain ability. But that's fine actually. I mean, we wouldn't appreciate anything if we were perfect, right?"

He paused, averting his eyes and staring at Summer's side profile again. She seemed to be deep in thought, seemed to have difficulties with understanding his words. He sensed it, so he gave her an example.

"You know", he chuckled, "I am quite short. But I am also a good dancer and a good cook! At least that's what people tell me. When I was younger, I really admired the tall guys at school, wishing to be like them so bad. At that time, I even drank five cups of milk every day even though I hated it."

She laughed. It was the first time that she had laughed ever since they met. It made the stranger smile.

"I am being serious.", he chuckled, "But what I didn't know at that time was that ... the tall guys whom I thought were much better than me and who used to mock me about my height actually admired me for my dancing skills. Later, I even found out that a lot of girls had a crush on me but were afraid to approach me. When I heard that, I was really shocked. But, I learned something. I learned that we all secretely admire each other for something. It just so happens that the feeling called 'envy' sometimes prevents us from admitting it to ourselves and to the person we admire. And I am glad. I am glad that I coincidently found out about all of this, otherwise I would still be drinking milk. Yuck!" 

This time they laughed together. Summer took a good look at the stranger and shook her head. Her head. Her way of thinking. He had said that it was something that needed to be under construction. And she felt like he was the first one to take a hammer and crack open her crusted self-esteem - at least a little. 

With only his words, Youngbae had reduced the space between him and her, between her and the girls from her school, yes, maybe even the space between her and her favourite artist. It was impressive. It was helpful, this way of thinking. But still ...

"Then how come ...", she started, "How come some people are lonelier than others? If everyone has his strong points ... then why does it happen that there are people in this world who have no one to acknowledge what they have? We humans are dependent beings. We live off the recognition of others and be it only one person. Yes only one person is enough ... to make another one feel good about himself. But when everyone is loathing you how can you ... how can you appreciate your good sides?", she sighed, looking at her feet. "I am sorry, I must sound pitiful."

"Actually, you sound like someone who needs just that: a person to tell you how beautiful you are. And a person who needs this."

Warm. It felt warm, so warm. 

Summer felt strong and secure arms encircling her body, drowning her in comfort that she never thought she would ever receive, especially not from such a good-looking, kind-natured and wise young man like Youngbae. People like him seemed so out of her league, so what was happening now was really ....

like a dream. 

God, is Youngbae your answer to my prayers?

"There is something you need to know, Summer.", he said, letting go of her slowly. "The more special a person is, the more hate and envy you are confronted with. Sometimes, it becomes hard for such people to meet someone who is ready to turn his feelings of envy into appreciation. But you will meet that person. You will meet him some time at an unexpected place. While you are waiting though, you have to do the appreciation yourself first. Like yourself. Like yourself for being one of God's unique artworks. You - wait, are you crying again?"

Summer smiled, wiping her small teardrops away. "It's nothing. I am just ... moved. Nobody has ever said such nice things to me. I am really thankful."

Youngbae smiled a radiant smile that soon turned into a boyish grin. "Oh, oh, well, I could go on with how pretty I think your eyes are and with how much I would love to run my hand through your superb head of hair."

"Y-yah stop! I feel weird!"

"It's just because no one dared to say such things to you before. Anyway, the way you are blushing now is adorable, did you know?", he teased.

"Youngbae!"

"Wow you said my name! I like hearing it coming from your mouth. You have a lovely voice, by the way."

He watched her becoming as red as a tomato and cracked up at the sight. As wise as he might seemed, he couldn't keep his mischivous charm under control at times. Besides, deep down he knew that it was making her happy. And happiness was something she needed after being sad for such a long time.

"Summer."

"Please no more compliments!"

He laughed. "No it's ... I mean, would you like to eat ice cream with me?"

She thought for a while. "Actually ... yes but I don't dare to go back there after what happened. I am embarassed.", she admitted, nervously playing with her fingers.

"Then it's fortunate that I took them to-go."

She watched how Youngbae suddenly pulled out a plastic bag from the other side of the bag. He grinned. "Want some?"

Summer smiled. "Thank you."

"You are welcome. But I will only let you have it under one condition."

"C-condition?"

"Yes. Go on a date with me."

"A date? With me?", she laughed slightly, "Why would you want that?"

"It's just that I have been sensing something all this time."

She looked at him questioningly.

"I might be the person you have been waiting for. And you ... you seem to be the one I have been waiting for."

And he smiled that wonderful smile again. The smile that made her insides tingle. 

Yes maybe ... maybe Youngbae was the first person to add some red to her life.