Chapter 1

Sehun rubbed the palms of his hands together to rid of the cold that was blanketing him. He blew out air into his fists, desperate for warmth even though he was sweating. He paced the floor, unable to sit still in his tux and feeling as though the world might crumble into pieces or something along that line. His heart is racing against his chest and he paused to look at his own reflection in the life-size mirror. His hair was already made perfectly, eyes lined with light make up, and there’s a smile that grazed his lips but made him look slightly constipated. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.

He was bubbling with excitement but at the same time too nervous to make out what his best friend, Chanyeol, was saying. Sehun’s fingers were trembling when he brought them up to level with his face and he was suddenly afraid that he might actually, really faint. Chanyeol repeated whatever that he was saying, but Sehun was still shaken up, his hands to stop the trembling and starting to pace the floor again. He halted to a stop when Chanyeol gripped at his shoulders, shaking him a little.

“Calm the hell down,” Chanyeol snapped, lightly slapping Sehun’s cheek. There was a frown on Chanyeol’s forehead but it quickly disappeared, lips curling into a toothy grin. “You’re going to look like a fool out there if you don’t calm down. Now breathe in, and then breathe out. It will be fine.”

Sehun nodded, breathing in and out like Chanyeol had instructed. Looking like a fool would be the last thing he needed to be out at the altar. Baekhyun would be disappointed and Sehun wouldn’t want that at all. Convinced that Sehun had calmed down a little, Chanyeol nodded and stepped back a little to sit next to his fiancé, Kyungsoo, who also happened to be Sehun’s ex, but now favorite hyung. He smiled at them both, a little nervously, before facing the mirror once again to give himself a prep talk.

His reflection showed a man he’d seen for the past twenty-three years of his life, brown hair pushed back so he would look formal, a pair of eyes that have looked into another that belonged to the most beautiful person on earth and lips that have had the glorious chance of kissing his. Sehun thinks he’s lucky, and he’s definitely not going to waste this once in a lifetime moment away just because he was nervous and couldn’t control it. He smiled once again and nodded to himself, prepared to go.

Chanyeol and Kyungsoo accompanied him through until it was time for him to go up. Waiting had made him nervous again, and he was grateful that Kyungsoo noticed the sweat that trickled down his temple and actually cared enough to wipe it off with his handkerchief. Sehun had flashed the older a thankful grin, genuinely appreciating Kyungsoo’s help.

He had thought once when they broke up that it would be awkward – they had been friends since Sehun started walking and dated when Sehun was fresh into high school, at fifteen and in love with the idea of love. They didn’t last very long after Sehun found out that his middle school through high school best friend Chanyeol actually bore feelings for his boyfriend, and he had thought he would be angry but what he felt was instead, a feeling of relief. Perhaps he had wanted to find a reason to break up with Kyungsoo, and so had the older, because Kyungsoo had already opened his heart for Chanyeol and Sehun had set his eyes on the man he’s about to marry in just a few more minutes.

That aside, Sehun inhaled a deep breath, taking careful but confident steps towards the altar. There weren’t many people to witness this day, and Sehun was glad because he wouldn’t know what to do if there were. He could see close family and friends amongst the small crowd. It wasn’t an official ceremony, and there isn’t any priest to marry them off. Chanyeol had paid Luhan high enough for the Chinese to agree playing the role of a priest – but Sehun knew Luhan would have done it anyway because however much he denies the fact that he cares about Sehun, he actually does care a lot.

Luhan was standing there at the altar, smiling sweetly at Sehun as he came up and he would have believed that Luhan was as nice a person as he looked but he’s already known the older for over two years. Sehun smiled back anyway, feeling slightly calm after seeing the faces of his parents and Baekhyun’s foster ones. He had also spotted Minseok, Luhan’s secret boyfriend, next to Jongin, who had been friends with Baekhyun since they were born or something like that.

Sehun cleared his throat, tugging at the front of his coat to make it sit properly before flashing yet another smile at Luhan. The place of which was originally Baekhyun’s house had been set up to look like a church and Sehun’s awed at the decoration, still slightly embarrassed that Baekhyun’s so much richer than he could ever be and determined as ever to keep Baekhyun’s money in the bank once they’re officially married. Well, twenty-three is a little young age to get married and he still has one more year of college, but love works in wonderful ways. He just couldn’t wait.

The necessity to wait again had Sehun’s heart racing wilder against his chest. He’s memorizing his vows, repeating word after word in his head and praying that he wouldn’t mess up (he probably would because he’s never smooth when it comes to Baekhyun) when it was Baekhyun’s time to come. He’s momentarily paused in the moment just as soon as his eyes landed onto the sight of his fiancé, jaw dropping and lips parting as he drink in the impossible beauty that Baekhyun carries.

It’s odd, because Baekhyun looked normally perfect. As in, Sehun had seen him in much more attractive clothes, eyes lined with heavier make up, and even when he was in his natural beauty with not even a single thread on his skin. Perhaps it was the smile that colored his lips, so pure, so… Magnificent. Sehun’s star-struck, speechless and about ready to go down on his knees because they’re weakening underneath him. But he managed to snap his jaw back close, fist his hands so they would stop trembling and returned the smile that Baekhyun flashed at him. He thinks he’s falling again, deeper and deeper in love and it’s impossible but it’s happening and he loves Baekhyun so, so much.

Baekhyun took forever to get on the altar, but it was probably Sehun being the impatient man that he always had been. He couldn’t stop grinning, cheeks hurting from smiling too much and hands already grasping Baekhyun’s. They’re glowing and Sehun could almost feel it, could almost see the glow on Baekhyun’s skin as they stared into each other’s eyes. He took this moment to mouth a quick ‘I love you’ at his fiancé, which Luhan noticed and Sehun was given a glare. He almost couldn’t help the chuckle that threatened to leave his lips and Baekhyun had to clamp his to do the same.

They’re still so young and childish and Sehun think they were both still not ready for marriage life but right now it doesn’t matter at all. Baekhyun’s hands are warm and tinier than his and it felt as though they were made for him to hold. Luhan cleared his throat, signaling that the ceremony has finally started. He began to recite whatever it was that Sehun didn’t think a priest would, but he doesn’t protest. He’s occupied with Baekhyun and the way Baekhyun’s gazing up at him anyway.

Sehun’s trembling again when he slipped the ring onto Baekhyun’s finger and was ashamed to see that Baekhyun’s hands were rather steady when he slipped a twin ring onto Sehun’s. They shared a kiss when Luhan finally announced them officially married and Sehun felt dizzy with the way the crowd cheered and applauded their successful union, and he thinks Baekhyun looked beautiful and he couldn’t wait to get back to their apartment so they could have the time just for themselves.

When Sehun saw Baekhyun next, his husband was laughing away while listening to what Kyungsoo was saying, the sounds of his laughter bringing all sorts of joy to Sehun as he approached them. There were people everywhere enjoying the reception and he had been stopped at every step by guests who wanted to congratulate him. By right, Baekhyun should be next to him, but Sehun guessed Kyungsoo must have pulled him to the side. Apparently, Kyungsoo was telling Baekhyun how Sehun likes his coffee and how his toast should get done in the morning. Kyungsoo’s being Kyungsoo, proud to have known Sehun all his life and excited to share every little detail about Sehun to whomever it may concern. Except he’s telling it to Baekhyun, Sehun’s newly-wedded husband, who had been by Sehun’s side since Sehun was seventeen. He doesn’t blame the fake smile that Baekhyun wore.

Kyungsoo laughed as he patted Baekhyun on the cheek, congratulating them once again before leaving in search of Chanyeol. Sehun searched Baekhyun’s face, the older boy keeping his smile although the urge to roll his eyes was pretty obvious. He laced their fingers together and squeezed Baekhyun’s hand, bringing it up to kiss his husband’s knuckles. This made Baekhyun smile, not like the one that he was wearing, but one that reached his ears and brightened up Sehun’s entire world.

He leaned down to whisper quietly into his husband’s ear, “Kyungsoo hyung said something to you?”

Baekhyun scrunched up his nose in that adorable way that he always does whenever he’s displeased. “He’s telling me things that I already know, as if he’s the only one who’s known you forever or something.” He pouted, bringing a hand up to caress Sehun’s cheek. “I get that anyone would be really proud to have known you that long but I didn’t just meet you last year, Sehun.”

Sehun smiled reassuringly at the shorter male, leaning in to steal a peck on the older’s lips. “He’s just being nice, baby. And he gets like that sometimes over me.”

“Or is he just reminding me that he was your first whatever?” Baekhyun rolled his eyes, his pout growing on his lips and looking away from Sehun, causing the younger male to let out a chuckle.

Grinning, Sehun kissed Baekhyun’s cheek. “He has Chanyeol now, hyung. And I know you’ve never gotten along with him well for the past seven years but tolerate it for me, please?”

The older of the two sighed, always unable to refuse Sehun’s pleading before he nodded quickly, hooking an arm over Sehun’s as they walked and greeted possibly each and every one of the guests that had so kindly taken their time to attend their not so official wedding. They stole kisses on each other’s lips in between, gazing at each other with giddy smiles and hearts swelling with love and happiness and satisfaction. The feeling is insane and Sehun had never felt it before until today and he was glad he gets to share it with Baekhyun, the love of his life.

Baekhyun disappeared again a half an hour later, this time pulled away by Sehun’s parents who are more than happy to call the petite male their son-in-law. Sehun couldn’t help the smile that stayed on his lips, overjoyed over the fact that Baekhyun is officially his life partner. He spent about five to ten minutes greeting and thanking guests who are leaving before his eyes caught a familiar sight of Baekhyun’s closest friend, Jongin. There was something in the way Jongin stared after a laughing Baekhyun, adoration in his eyes and a sad smile adorning his lips. Sehun raised a brow questioningly.

It wasn’t such a surprise when he put two and two together, a minute later, and figured that Jongin must have been in love with his husband, or still is. There was a slight irk that irritated his chest but he smiled nonetheless, knowing that even if Jongin is still in love with Baekhyun, he believes that Baekhyun’s feelings were only for him. Sehun’s a little sad, though, because nothing could hurt more than an unrequited love. He wondered how long Jongin had been in love with Baekhyun.

He wondered what it would feel like if he was in Jongin’s shoes.

Sehun cringed, his feet unknowingly taking him where Jongin stood with a glass of wine in hand. He flashed the tanned boy a rather wide smile when Jongin looked up and for a moment, the two men stood in a suddenly awkward silence. Sehun was the one who spoke first, “How long has it been?”

“Pardon?” Jongin frowned, confused to what Sehun was referring to.

The taller male took another sip from his glass, gesturing at Baekhyun with his chin. “How long have you been in love with him?” Sehun eyed Jongin closely, noticing the very faint pink that colored his bronze cheeks and acknowledgement adorned in his features.

Jongin sighed, eyes staring deep into the red of his wine that sloshed in his glass. “I’m sorry, mate. I know you two are married now and I really should stop feeling this way for him because he’s really happy with you and he loves you and I’m just – I really am sorry.” Jongin finally stopped, breathless.

Sehun chuckled lightly, shaking his head. “It’s quite alright. There’s no need to apologize. We can’t stop feelings.” He sighed, slightly apologetic. “I’m sorry, though, that he didn’t acknowledge it.”

“He did,” Jongin was quick to answer, the same sad smile on his lips. “He knows. He just doesn’t return it. It’s not anyone’s fault. Maybe if I had been a day earlier, I could have won his heart.”

Somewhere off in the distance, Baekhyun’s laughter broke through the decreasing crowd and Sehun knew it made both Jongin and himself smile. He couldn’t help the slight annoyance in his chest, a little bit of the nasty jealousy that was definitely not healthy. He eyed Jongin from the corner of his eye, trying to decide if the said male would be a competitor before realizing how ridiculous that actually sounded. Sehun cleared his throat, “Thanks for coming even though it’s hard, you know? To watch the one you love, love someone else?”

Jongin laughed at Sehun’s attempt to lighten up the mood, nodding his head and reaching out to pat Sehun’s shoulder. “I can’t miss this special day, man.” They both joined in a light laughter before it died down to another silence, this time Jongin breaking it with an announcement that he needed to leave. “I’m just going to go say goodbye to Baekkie. Congratulations of the wedding, Sehun.”

Sehun grinned, nodding and raising a hand as a sign of acknowledgement. He watched as Jongin turned and made his way towards Baekhyun but in mid-step, the tanned boy had turned around. “I’ve loved him since I could remember, to answer your question.” His smiled was even sadder now, if that was possible, and Sehun could feel a slight crack in his heart.

 “And I was going to tell him that the day he set his eyes on you.”

Guilt felt even nastier than jealousy, Sehun decided as he undressed himself in the shower. His fingers slowly ed his shirt after removing the tux, gaze fixed on his own reflection in the mirror. The wedding reception had ended an hour ago, in which within that hour Sehun took some fresh air in the garden after the conversation he had with Jongin. He pursed his lips, studying his own features in the mirror. There were many questions that played in his head, but the biggest of it all was why does he feel so guilty over something he didn’t do on purpose? He frowned, throwing the shirt on the tiled floor of the bathroom and pulling on just his boxer briefs, not bothered by the cold of the night.

As he made his way out to Baekhyun’s former bedroom (they’re sleeping in there before they move out to their own house tomorrow), he wondered if he had been a third wheeler of what could be a beautiful relationship. He wondered if Baekhyun had actually felt the same towards Jongin. It was all ridiculous to think so negatively on the night just after their wedding ceremony but Sehun really couldn’t help it. He wondered, if he hadn’t looked up from sipping his chocolate bubble tea that fateful Tuesday afternoon and locked eyes with Baekhyun, that Jongin could have won Baekhyun’s heart after all. But why is he feeling so guilty of something he is proud of? He doesn’t regret ever meeting Baekhyun; it was, in fact, the best thing that had happened to him.

Shaking his head to rid of those thoughts, Sehun was met with the sight of a pajama clad Baekhyun already in bed, smiling up sleepily at his newly turned husband and invitingly calling Sehun to join him. The negativity in his head had quickly transformed into plans on how to spend the night with his husband, getting a little excited as he crawled onto the bed next to Baekhyun. His lips met Baekhyun’s first before his body met the bed, rolling slightly over so he could hover above the smaller male as they continued to kiss. Baekhyun’s lips have always been so soft and Sehun’s savoring the feel of them on his, letting out a playful moan at the way Baekhyun gripped at his nape.

It took all of his willpower to finally part from the breathless Baekhyun, smiling against the older’s lips. “You’re beautiful, as always. I can’t believe you’re mine.”

There was that giggle Sehun loved to hear coming from Baekhyun before he feels fingers threading through his hair. Baekhyun breathed, “Well, you’ve got to start believing. If you believe, you get to keep.” Baekhyun winked, leaning up so he could press another kiss onto Sehun’s lips.

Baekhyun’s words, however, had triggered Sehun’s previous dilemma. He frowned deeply, enough for Baekhyun to realize something was wrong. Sehun chewed onto his bottom lip before rolling over and off of his husband, his eyes never leaving Baekhyun’s face. “Baby, I think there are things we should have talked about before we tie the knot earlier.”

The older male’s expression relaxed, getting up into a sitting position and flashing Sehun a smile. “Yes, I believe we should have. So why don’t we talk about it now?”

Sehun puffed out his cheeks, blowing air up the fringe that had fallen over his brows. “Did you ever love Jongin the way he loves you?” He gazed at his husband in curiosity, slightly afraid of the answer that he seek and when Baekhyun smiled reassuringly at him, Sehun could feel himself calm down a little. He knew he acts more of a top in the relationship, holding Baekhyun when he’s cold or afraid, kiss his forehead when he’s in tears but Sehun is younger and sometimes, he needed the assurance.

Times like this, mostly. Baekhyun’s smile only widened as he reached a hand out to tap Sehun’s nose. “I do love Jongin, like one would love his brother. But no, I have never been in love with him. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about this. And I’m sorry you had to figure it out on your own, but Jongin and I talked and we’ve decided that it’s best for us to leave it at that. Did he tell you?”

“No,” Sehun shook his head, taking Baekhyun’s hand in his. “I saw the way he was looking at you. I can’t believe I didn’t see it earlier. It’s been in my head for the past hour and I feel guilty somehow. Because if you had loved him too, then I –”

“Would you have let me go?” Baekhyun asked, scooting a little closer as his lips formed a pout. It wasn’t one that he wears intentionally; it appears whenever he was close to shedding a tear or two.

It didn’t take long for Sehun to think it through; he knew that if Baekhyun was in love with Jongin, he would let his husband go. “Yes, I would have. If it means that you’d be happy, I would. I’ve told you many times before that your happiness comes first before mine. If you’re happy, I am too.”

Baekhyun sobbed, lips a full pout now and Sehun couldn’t resist it, leaning in to press his own lips onto Baekhyun’s as an arm circled the older male’s waist. Baekhyun chuckled at himself when they part, pecking Sehun’s lips once more before gazed adoringly at his husband. “I love you so much, Sehun. You know I’d do the same, too, right? I’d do anything to make you happy.”

“That’s why we’re married,” Sehun grinned, leaning close to nuzzle his nose to Baekhyun’s. “You’ll make me happy just as I’ll make you happy. Till death do us part, remember?”

At that, Sehun was showered with a series of pecks all over his face; Baekhyun’s soft lips touching every inch of his skin and he had to laugh at the ticklish sensation, falling back onto the bed with Baekhyun on top of him this time, thighs straddling his hips. The tickling stopped when Sehun cupped Baekhyun’s face within his hands and their lips met in another open-mouthed kiss, moving languidly as they savored the taste of each other’s lips. Sehun’s exploding with a joyous feeling, the swelling of his heart making him smile but the kiss was stopping him. He couldn’t get over the fact that they’re married. We’re married, we’re married, we’re married.

Baekhyun pulled away a little breathless, pouty lips swollen and red as he looked down at Sehun. “I have a question too. We’re not having tonight until I’m convinced with your answer.”

The taller male groaned, not pleased with the idea because he had been a little more excited with each second that passed of them locking lips. No would totally ruin his mood. “What is it?”

“Do you still have feelings for Kyungsoo?” Baekhyun’s question came, and Sehun had actually lost count on how many times he had to answer this for the past seven years.

He groaned louder, albeit playfully, tugging at his hair in feigned frustration. “That’s not fair, Byun. You already know the answer to that. You don’t get to ask me again.” The older crossed his arms on his chest, pouting even more now that Sehun had refused to answer. Sehun sighed, couldn’t help the grin that curled at his lips. “You’re impossible, I swear. I do not have feelings for Kyungsoo hyung anymore. It stopped even before I broke up with him, even before I laid eyes on you.”

Baekhyun shook his head, scrunching his nose up in disagreement. “Not convincing enough.”

Sehun’s lips parted in disbelief, scowling before he leaned up to peck Baekhyun’s nose. “If I still have feelings for him, I would marry him instead. But I married you, because I love you.”

That seemed to have convinced Baekhyun because he smiled as he returned the three words and they kissed again and again and again; hands roaming skin and lips meeting lips. It wasn’t their first time, but it felt just as good, if not better. Later after they pulled away, breathless and spent, Sehun pulled them both for a quick shower. A half an hour later found them on the bed, ready to sleep with Baekhyun’s head resting on Sehun’s chest and his hand smoothing down Baekhyun’s dampened hair.

He’s close to falling asleep when he felt a kiss on his jaw, peeking down to see Baekhyun peering up at him with sleepy eyes. “Sehun?”

“Hm? Can’t sleep?” He questioned, hand continuing to Baekhyun’s hair.

Baekhyun only grinned lazily, “What do you think about kids?”

A/N: It wasn't supposed  to be 4k so expect less from Ch2 onwards. Plus slow updates. I at chaptered stories. Been feeling down lately and writing this made me feel better. The kids will appear on Ch3, most probably. I can't resist the urge to write honeymoon sebaek so that should come next chap. Comments would be great! Thanks.

P.S: I have a new angst big project in progress of planning. Shall come to life next year.